I Need Another Man

My appointment with the new doctor came quickly and I dressed in some of the new clothes we had bought. I wore a new set of matching bra and panties, filling the cups with my inserts so I had some weight on my chest. Next, a nice pleated midi blue skirt and white blouse with a pair of knee high sheers to slide in my flats. I did my hair in a ponytail and put on some light makeup, clipping on some earrings Mom had given me and I was ready. The mirror now reflected who I really was, Robyn, the girl I always wanted to be. I swished my skirt, feeling it flow around my shaven legs, (OH so girly) and modeled my outfit, cupping my bra and trying to estimate how big my future tits were going to be. I called to Mom that I was dressed and ready, skipping down the stairs to the door, my energy levels high knowing this was going to happen.(OMG, I can't do this, it would be my first public outing and I don't know if I can pull this off.) But I felt so, so good though, the clothes bringing out all my feminine feelings as I fussed in the hall mirror. What if someone saw me, would they know or even guess who that person is with Mom? She came down the stairs to find me visually shaking,

"Mom, I scared, I've never been out before. What if they someone sees me and knows me? I'll die if I'm outed right now."

"No need to worry Honey, you are a very beautiful woman dressed as you are and I'm so happy you're going to do this because it's what you need to do, "right?" OK, lets go, we don't want to be late."

I checked the hall mirror one more time and didn't see the old me anymore, just Robyn, but then my nerves started to make me tremble again as I realized this was a big step going out in public dressed. Mom sensed my hesitation and gave me a hug saying,

"It's going to be fine Honey, you just have to get to the car and then just into the office. No one will know and we'll talk about our cover story after we see the doctor, OK?"

I just nodded and followed closely behind her to the car and got in. The drive gave me time to relax as I fidgeted with my dress and looking in the mirror to check my makeup. Mom tried to make me feel OK by just talking about mundane things until we arrived. She was able to park close to the entrance so I wasn't exposed very long and I clung to her as we checked in.

The doctor wasn't very long before she came out to greet us and take us into her office. Her name was Dr. Anne. She is a very stunning woman, tall with long legs and ample boobs. She made us feel comfortable and started asking questions about both of us. She said she had been in contact with Dr. Jane and they were both convinced of my sincerity about the changes needed to help my life and depression. She complimented me on my attire, making me blush as she eyed me up and down. She explained she was a surgeon who helped boys like me and asked what I would like to have done. I whispered just loud enough,

"I want to have breasts". (There, I said it!) my embarrassment must have shown on my face as I looked up and saw her smiling at me.

"That won't be a problem honey, I have done quite a few breast augmentations, both girls and "boys". Is there anything else you would like to be done for your transition?"

"No doctor, I think I'll leave everything else the same for now". She did the same exam Dr. Jane gave me, but seemed to spent more time checking my little balls. I just put it off as part of her examination and waited till she was done. Before I got dressed, she gave me a shot of estrogen in my ass cheek and a prescription for daily pills. I was to come back and have more injections until my estrogen levels were steady and the effects produced the changes I wanted. Her schedule had an opening next week for my surgery and said I would be in the hospital for a few days for healing. I thanked her many times as Mom and I left, my confidence stronger as I walked outside knowing my future path was set to become a woman.

We went home, settling on the couch to discuss everything the doctor had said. We ate some supper and came up with a story that seemed workable about how Rob had come down with a condition that required him to live in an arid environment like Arizona. He applied and was accepted to a college there and left town quietly to recover his health. Robyn, who was a second cousin's daughter, had come to live with her to get away from a troubled family situation and would be attending college here next year. We planned on going to the DMV to change my name and send in a request to the birth registry to alter my name so I wouldn't have any problems with my identity if I needed to use it. Everything was moving quite fast, but I have waited a long time to fully embrace myself as a girl and now...YIPPEE!!

Mom contacted each of my sisters, explaining our plans for me to transition and explaining our cover story so each of them wouldn't be surprised when they came home for the holidays. I talked to each of them and both were very happy and supportive of what was happening. After our long talks and expressing much love to each other, I knew they enthusiastic about seeing me when they got home.

As my surgery approached, I had been busy cleaning out my old boy stuff, bagging everything for give away, finally letting go of my unwanted past and wondering if I was ready for this moment. (OH GOD! YES!) I shopped online for some girly things, like pink bed sheets and curtains. I would have to paint my room from the old blue to a nice rose color when I had time. I was never going back to the shy timid boy I was thru high school and my confidence was growing everyday that I was finally going to become a woman.

My operation was early the next day, so Mom drove me and was staying there to wait. As soon as I arrived, a nurse led me to a change room were I stripped and put on a hospital gown and then was wheeled into the operating room where Dr. Anne was waiting in her OR garb. She leaned down and asked,

"So Robyn, do you know what size breasts you want? I know you wanted to think about it before we did this"

"Well Dr., I decided a C size would be great since that's what size of bras I've bought already." We both laughed at that and I was quickly put under for the operation. I awoke in the hospital room, not sure how long I was there, but I felt Mom holding my hand as I slowly woke up. My chest felt heavy and sore, my memories recalling the feelings of my experimental breasts I had enlarged last summer with a syringe and saline. Mom said everything went well with the operation, but I could feel there was something else different about my body. My crotch felt sore. I started to panic wondering what the doctor done to me?

"Why does it hurt between my legs Mom?"

Her eyes became wet as she held my gaze, a pleading look on her face causing me to panic that something wrong had happened in the operating room.

"OH Honey, I'm sorry we didn't talk about this before, but... the doctor and I had been talking thru the week and she suggested that while you were here in surgery, that it would be possible to help you transition easier by removing your testicles. Once that was done, then it would stop the release of your male testosterone and the estrogen you are taking would work faster."

"But Mom, I didn't want any surgery done down there. I like how my thingy feels and now I don't know if I'll be able to, you know, get excited." My tears started to flow as Mom tried to comfort me, whispering soothing things that everything will work out after the Dr. comes and talks to me.

Sometime later, the Dr. came in and checked my vitals before she sat down and talked about my operation. I was starting to get mad at her and Mom for not talking to me about their plans to remove my testes without discussing it with me. Did I still had my "Penis? I asked in a angry tone. I couldn't sense anything behind the bandages over my crotch. Were they not telling me the truth, did the doctor decide to make me an enuch? Dr. Anne told me to relax as she injected some pain killers in my IV, smiling at me as she said she would show me tomorrow something "special" even I would like. Though she didn't answer my question, she left me with a thousand other bad thoughts about what it would be like without my "clit". I laid back fuming as the drugs made me sleepy with Mom crying softly as I drifted off to a black dreamless sleep.

I just heard the doctor say as she left- "I will check your stitches tomorrow and show you your surgery OK? I'm sure you'll be very happy with what I've created."

"Honey, I have to go home and finish a few things, are you ok if I leave? Do you want anything?"

"No, I'm good Mom. Go home and rest. I know you've been here all this time and I can see it in your eyes."

After she was gone, I slept thru my drug haze, the pain fading to a unfamiliar feeling of euphoria as the nurses probably kept my meds going thru the night. Mom came back the next morning to make sure I was OK and we waited for the doctor to come in and exam me.

The doctor soon came in with a few people who were introduced as other doctors in the hospital. She said they were there to observe the operation she had performed on me. I became very nervous about exposing my altered groin to so many people as she tried to calm me by saying all of them were professionals and there was nothing to be ashamed of. She explained her operation performed on me was a "first" of a kind and she wanted some second opinions from her colleagues.

I closed my wet eyes as she lifted the sheet and pushed my hospital gown up, the cool air giving me goosebumps. She helped spread my legs, giving me a winch of pain and then I felt the bandages carefully being removed. The other doctors leaned in to see my crotch and started complementing her on my surgery and I wondered why, since it should have been only some stiches. I looked down between my new boobs, trying to lean up enough to see my crotch but couldn't see much. OMG, they lied, they cut it off! I started to get riled, my voice rising at her about my missing appendage. She explained to the other doctors that I hadn't been told yet and was going to explain everything after they left. They all hurried out and left me to my privacy, my tears flowing freely at the thought of my loss. Dr. Anne left for a moment and came back with a mirror, raising the head of the bed a bit so I could view the work of her butchery.

What I saw was red swollen skin with no visible stitches, and no sign of the only thing left of my manhood, (WTF, it was gone). I now had a slit between two new bumps of flesh that looked like a swollen female vagina and there was a tube hanging from the bottom of my crack which I assumed was for me to urinate while I was bandaged. So I assumed it was now my fake vagina with a pee hole between these labia? (It did look like a real vagina though) (FUCK) She explained that after removing my testis, she had shaped my scrotal sacs into a perfectly looking vagina, but the best part was "this". I watched in the mirror as she gently open my slit with her gloved fingers and (What the fuck!!), I could see parts of my "clit" secured under a piece of flesh between the folds of my new vagina.

My tears stopped, ( OMG, How?!! I still had my clitty) my wide unblinking eyes never leaving the reflection in the mirror. I was transfixed at the operation she had done on me and asked how it would not just pop out. She explained she had taken a small piece of muscle from my breast area during my enhancements and made a cross flap inside the reformed ball sac so it would hold my clit securely between my new labia. I would be able to pull it out anytime for cleaning and "pleasure". (We both smiled at her meaning) I could also sit on the toilet and pee like a girl without having to untuck or I could stand and urinate like I used too. I blushed at her explanation as she put away the mirror and rebandaged my new pussy, saying I needed to rest and the healing looked great. I felt so much better now as I laid back and released all the tensions that had built up to this point. I held up my arms for a hug, grateful to her for this gift as she reciprocated and hugged me gently. (YES- my boobs were sore!). She whispered everything was going to fine and left me to my thoughts.

Mom came later and we discussed my operation. I had relaxed by now, knowing everything the Dr. had done was in my best interest. I was gushing how happy I was with my new body parts and Mom's happy tears eased my mind about how I had treated her after my operation. I showed her my new breasts, both swollen and firm, my nipples stretched from the swelling and very sensitive to touch. They looked bigger than I expected, but I assumed after they healed, they would be the perfect size and shape on my chest. Mom was excited that things had gone so well and kept complimenting me about the marvels of modern medicine. I had become her beautiful daughter and both of us cried tears of joy as each day passed during my recovery.

A few days later, the swelling had gone done and after many inspections, I was discharged and told not to touch myself other than changing the bandages which Mom would help with. I was able to get up and move around without too much discomfort between my legs during the following week. It felt weird as I sat on the toilet, a pressure building in my clitty until my body fluids tinkled in the bowl in a steady stream of relief. A shiver racing thru my body as the last drops dripped from my slit. I wiped myself properly, not wanting to get an infection and rebandaged before pulling up my panties.

I couldn't stop thinking about how I looked down there and would constantly use a mirror to gaze at my newly formed femininity. As the days went by, the swelling receded until my bald flesh was a pretty pink color and looked just like any girl's sexual anatomy. I would model my nude body in the bedroom mirror, seeing a young girl now grown into womanhood, caressing her breasts and tweaking her nipples as she profiled her body in some sultry poses. Her smooth legs and amble ass were in perfect proportions and when she stood facing herself, she noticed she had a slight thigh gap below her bald pussy. (COOL!) I felt a tingling in my crotch and stopped touching myself, worried that my clitty wouldn't perform like it used too, yet, there was some tingling pleasurable coming from my crotch as I touched my body.

I was too scared to try and get my clitty hard, the Dr. explaining it could possibly cause damage to my surgery until I was fully healed, so I mentally practised not thinking about "sex". I spent a lot of time on my laptop learning the ins and outs of making myself totally female, like, fashion, makeup, hairstyles, etc. I couldn't wait to go shopping and do all the other things a teen girl loves to do.

I also found I had a knack for fixing problems with my computer system and spent a lot of time fixing spam and viruses that constantly plagued the internet. (This helped me to decide which college courses I would take next fall, I had given up wanting to be a doctor.)

The next week was the appointment to remove the stitches and I was very excited to see the new me. The doctor wasted no time in having me strip and on the table in the stir-ups as she removed the bandages and stitches, talking to me about how well everything looked and I would only need some small bandages for the next week. I could take showers and I would have to free my clitty and clean myself properly before hiding it again. She explained how to slide my finger thru the top of my slit and under the root of my clit. Then all I had to do was gently pull it from the flap inside my pussy lips. As she was coaching and touching me, I gently pushed my finger between pussy lips and looped it under the root of my thin soft clit, easily pulling the tube thru my warm labias. A big sigh of relief came over me, watching as it slid out with a final tug and my fingers could hold it again. It still looked the same- thin, short and floppy with it's little crown at the end, but I was happy it was still part of me.

Tears rolled down my eyes in happiness and relief to my doctor for saving "this" part of me, all my anger gone into post op heaven. I would never have to worry about tucking or taping or even getting excited and ruining my looks with an unwanted bulge down there. Since this was the first time my clitty was exposed, I felt shy and vulnerable being exposed, wanting to close my legs and hide my "thing" from her. Her hands held my thighs apart as she studied her handiwork, a finger tip feeling my plump lips and then sliding a lubed finger under the flap she had created. I had laid back and let her examine me until I felt her grasp my flaccid clit and begin to fondle it, her lubed finger inside my slit massaging the skin under the flap sending shivers down my spine. (OMG, what was that?) The pleasure I felt was so indescribable, (What had she done to me down there?) it felt like my p gland, but that wasn't how my body worked. To my great relief and surprise, clear fluids drippled from my clitty slit as she applied some pressure to my cleft, my pelvis squirming on the table as she kept arousing my sex. My clitty was getting firmer between her cummy fingers as I tried to hold still, her gentle touch making me whimper in need for more. She expertly stroked me to full hardness, stopping suddenly before I could scream out loud from my arousal. I was flushed and trembling, in quivering need to finish my orgasm as she suddenly removed her hands from my tortured body. She removed her exam gloves and looked at me saying in a professional tone,

"You shouldn't have worried about getting sexually excited, as you can see, there is sufficient blood flow and I'm sure your libido is normal."

She stood and came to my side, taking my hand and gave me a sincere look,

" Robyn, I'm sorry your Mom and I didn't talk to you about the procedure, we just want the best for you and make your dream come true. (Too Disney?) You are one of a kind now girl, no one has had a operation like yours, so, please forgive us and I'm sure you will enjoy what I've done. Oh Yes, I"ll need to check you once a month for awhile and then I'll adjust your meds to help keep your estrogen levels high enough to keep your body growing female. I'm sure your transition will be easier than most since you exhibit many female attributes and now with your surgeries, I'm sure you'll enjoy a fulling life as a woman."

We spent a few more minutes discussing how everything worked and she told me the biggest stitches had been at inside my slit. She had formed my genitals deep enough for my clit to be concealed and realized as she was stitching me together, my large sensitive p gland was just under the layer of skin she was forming were a vaginal opening would have been if I had SRS. (So that's how she could make my clitty get wet without touching me inside!!)

I thanked her many times and after a big hug, she left me to compose myself before I left the exam room. I touched myself and could feel the same excitement I used to have as my fingers wrapped around my hardness. It got harder as I stroked myself quickly, a craving inside to finish what the Dr. had almost done to me. It didn't take long with my frantic jerking and rubbing my tits to finally give me a agonizing release of familiar pleasure. I exploded my clear juices into my hand, filling my palm with my essence. My heart was racing as I laid back, letting all my worries fade from my mind. I was so over joyed knowing that my body was now "perfect" as I licked my hand clean. I followed the docs instructions and easily tucked my deflated clit inside my pussy and quickly got dressed, making sure about my next appointment before heading home.

The Dr. had explained, since I was the first patient to receive this kind of operation, she was excited to put it out there in the medical world for other trans people. They could have the same "surgical option" if they decided too, but only if their genitals were in the right proportions, (Sorry- large "clittys" won't fit). Her only request was that she would need pictures of my new genitals after I was fully healed. They were for a publication of her new medical procedures and my name wouldn't be mentioned at all. I said there wouldn't be a problem and I would be proud to show off my new body.