All Comments on 'I Should've Known'

to the overly libidinous, hugely endowed, black rapist genre.

You've pretty much topped out here, but maybe your next story could be even more racist. Why don't you give it a shot?

Punctuation, grammar, factual, Upper/lower case and other assorted errors.

Please edit, or get an editor.

But supposedly such good friends with her husband that they drink until 2am, rapes her and she couldn’t tell that it wasn’t her husband?

Are you even old enough to have sex? Go away and don’t come back until you get hair on your balls.

Perhaps even using the word 'good' in the title might misrepresent my opinion! It was terrible. Maybe the author's language is not English, if it is then more schooling is required.

Time to implement a 'concussion protocol'. 1*

I agree with bebop... you are a horrible monster for making that happen.

This is so bad...As @Bebop3 says a story condoning rape and racism will never be good...Please stop this while you can...1* (where are the negative ratings when we need them?)

Please "DO NOT CONTINUE"

The biggest one is no husband would be texting his wife while she’s supposed to be sleeping from another part of the house especially ‘warning’ that he was coming to his own bed.

Now finish it with the husband blowing big holes in both of them with a shotgun and then turning it on himself and you've got a Pulitzer prize winning story! NOT!!!! In case It's not obvious to you, this is called sarcasm.

Since I don't write far from me to complain. If this was reality of course as soon as she knew it wasn't her husband and since they are not stated to be open marriage swingers she would have screamed or called the cops afterwards. But then that would ruin the story.

Part two no doubt becomes him getting hard hearing of the tale and another cuck and hot wife is born.

She gets pregnant with a mulit-racial baby, divorced and left with nothing, whkle her ex finds a wonderful redhead who loves him dearly. Oh yeah and the big prick "Tucker", is never seen or hraed from again. Nice choices lady!

A waste of time

.

Maybe focus less on the inches of the penis? Not only is it not that real, but it gets old quick. Not sure what you have planned for ch 2, but geezer maybe try a little.

Honestly, I usually not that perturbed to the whole 'black guy better than white guy at fucking' - sure, it's silly, but whatever. However, this time around, the bull didn't even take the time to seduce his target.

He just straight up rape her.

In her own house.

In her own bed.

While her dumb, worthless husband slept downstairs.

Yeah, I definitely still wouldn't like that story if Tucker was white. But bringing in race into it makes it all the most despicable.

But whatever - SHE CAME, right? So it's all good, nothing else matter, RIGHT!1?

... Just utter garbage.

. . . that it was a different man than her husband in bed with her. That alone puts it in unbelievable territory. People feel different, smell different and act different. It wasn’t a rape story because she knew it wasn’t her husband.

Bebop said everything that needs to be said about this mess in his first comment. You could write something worse than this, but it won't be easy. You say it is to be continued, so I suppose you'll try.

Okay, this is your first try and of course it’s something less than spectacular. Naturally you pulled the usual comments from the peanut gallery, but unfortunately too many of them were dead on—sadly none saw the need to offer a helping hand except in a round-about way. I’ll try to help if you’ll allow it.

#1 Another mentioned it, but let me lay it on the line so there will be no doubt. This story is completely unbelievable, whereas being close enough to reality for the reader to suspend disbelief is the lifeblood of fiction—especially erotic fiction.

@ Forget the 12 inch cocks; they exist, outside the porn industry, mostly in the minds of stupid writers like myself and most others on Lit. (Google penis size for a look at reality, and with research you can get opinions on the real relationship between cock size and pleasure straight from the mare’s mouth.)

#Do you really think a man’s friend wouldn’t have more interaction with the wife than you’ve shown here, even if he had no designs on her? Wouldn’t the woman of your story have probably at least flirted with the friend? BTW, why did he have to be black—was it to have the monster cock, or to be the type of asshole who would treat is friend such as he did? No mention of race would have worked just as well and you wouldn’t have been accused of being a racist, which BTW is the new term for all you disagree with. Heck, the other day in McDonalds a white woman was called a racist and handed a bunch of crap by a young black girl—her crime—she told the black girl she thought her bi-racial baby was pretty.

#2 Punctuation. Read the helps here in the writers resources at Lit.

Here’s an excerpt from your second paragraph: I wasnt sleeping but I had been fairly close to it when i felt Jim slide in the bed beside me. He immediately pressed himself up against me and i could tell by the… and here is a suggested correction: I ‘wasn’t’sleeping but I had been fairly close to it when ‘I’ felt Jim slide in the bed beside me. He immediately pressed himself up against me and ‘I’ could tell by the…

The personal pronoun I is always in caps, I think…

I have a problem buying wifey, in the course of being fucked would bother about reading the phone message, or would have meekly accepted Tucker’s actions if she had paused long enough to read it.

#3 You have pictured the husband as the dumbest SOB on earth and one who may have professed love for wife but sure didn’t show it.

#4 One last comment—you used no dialogue at all. Dialogue helps add depth to your characters.

EX He quickly dressed and ran out telling me he'd be available if i ever wanted a redo bit not before grabbing my phone and doing something. This could become:

“I’ll be available if you ever want a redo,” he said, while he quickly dressed. He grabbed my phone and did something, then with a “See you later, Baby,” he raced out the door.

Can’t you see Tucker, the asshole, clearer this way than in the original?

I didn’t score this story because I think you can do much better and am waiting to see how you do in the future.

Good Luck! cd

That's a weird title for a comment that basically listed -- in detail -- why it was awful.

If you gain access/acquiescence through subterfuge as to identity, especially her husband in her own bed, it's rape. Also you can't just sneak in and start having sex with anyone. Plenty of case law on that. She does consent later, but it is still rape up to that point.

The weirdness is the she seems to need the text from her husband to tell her it is Tucker. Why? She knows it is not her husband, Tucker is the only other one in the house. Seems convoluted and dumb. Is she thinking someone else with a big dick broke into the house and got all up into her in her marital bed?

Also, what is Tucker's motivation to rat himself out? He got some good married pussy even though he started out raping her. He has the chance for more. Why is he ruining that by cluing the husband in on it? You need to address that in the next chapter.

Thanks for the feedback @thecarolinadreamer will take into consideration and improve going forward. Big fan of your class reunion story

Your grammar is atrocious. You need an editor, badly.

Good concept, cucking the husband by the black guy, but her not knowing should have elicited a a screaming reaction, but I'll give it to you that she was already in the throes of intercourse.

Not bad, not bad. Develop your story in an outline first, if you feel up to it write a bio for each character because eventually they're going to have to have a conversation. Try not to list what each character does, that is truly boring.

You have potential. Work on it!

And you really should chuck your spilling, but not with spell chucker, as often hat cant spot sum errors.

I have no idea what Mr. Fantastic is talking about. Until she consents it may or may not be rape? Ridiculous.

Let's say Reed Richards is asleep in his laboratory and Victor Von Doom walks into his bedroom and without invitation or any form of consent whatsoever starts fucking Sue Storm. That's not rape?

I find the premise that she did not know it wasn’t her husband in bed with her unbelievable. To me, this reads as a story of willful denial of what she knew, the kind of justification a lot of people do. She never resisted, she never tried to get out of the bed, she only thought things to justify what she was doing.

The only way this is rape is if she is truly dumb as a box of rocks.

Well, plenty of sex but not that well written, you need to get someone to read this before you post it.

If you like interracial this could be a turn on, maybe. Problem is that the wife realized she was being screwed by her husband’s black buddy and made almost no effort to stop him. She cheated on her husband, no argument. Did Jim set it up because it was one of his fantasies or did Tucker go for what he wanted and she let him? Next question is how the story will continue; if it must. Will Jim be pissed at them, will he want to watch or join them next time? IF there is another chapter please learn to proofread not just use spell check. And move it to the Interracial category; there was nothing about their marriage just a lot of stereotypical BBC screwing,

Really good story very hot can't wait to see where it goes,one time ,divorce ,cuckold husband,his idea or wife can't resist to try again

Call the police

JJ

Clearly started as a rape and changed to something else - but nothing from the husbands sode so not really a loving wife story

Unfinished story. = 1 star. Did hubby find them fucking? Did he see the tape? WTF?!? If ur gonna write a story, like many others on this site that don't complete their stories (what're they thinking???), either finish it or don't post it. Otherwise, it's a waste of our time. You also could use some proofreading & an editor. -- Bob

Dude where is the rest such an interesting start

Trash

Don't bother continuing, kind of a waste of writing and time...

Please get Grammarly

LW Big Black Chumps always be hung.