All Comments on 'I Won't Put Your Dick in my Mouth'

It may have been a good story if it wasn't so convoluted. Learn to separate sentences and whomever may be talking. Then determine which point of view, is it going to be first person, or third person? I realize it's your first story, my goodness, learn from what others have done before you try this at home. The white man/black woman had nothing to do with the premise, not sure why you used it. I gave it a 2 for simply having the balls to publish a story, now, do your homework and write another with better grammar and clarity. Or stop writing entirely. It's too bad you wasted your introduction to us with this trash.

Crap

Overly disorganized when it could have been so much simpler. When most of your text is dialogue it's a bit tough as you have to structure the conversation. It has to flow and build to be a story. Overall it was just meh. On a different note Rebecca plays to much and this something that irked me. No should mean no ALL the time.

Yeah it's a little convoluted. It originally started out as a sexting session, so I'll agree it doesn't flow super well. I embellished it a bit to help; it was even worse beforehand, believe it or not.

Side note: No SHOULD mean no all the time. But I've had 2 different women who used no when they meant yes. So I'm just as confused about it as you are.

Bad reviews aside, I appreciate you all reading my story anyway. I'll strive to make a better one. :)