I'm Emily. This is my Life Story

"Doesn't her husband care?"

"He probably doesn't know, being drunk most of the time. I don't think he's doing much for her."

"How come you know all this and I don't?

"Lads talk about it, and often when other ears can hear."

" Oh. Well. It's not my business to interfere."

The conversation moved on from that topic as people kept moving between tables and we didn't want to discuss it in front of others.

The party started to wind down and by twelve thirty we were the only ones left. We thanked the hotel staff for their excellent service and got a taxi home.

As we undressed for bed, I couldn't help thinking about seeing Kevin and Angelina and I was still horny. I noticed that Barry was hard, so I dragged him onto the bed. It wasn't quick and dirty like in the toilet. We made love with lots of kissing, licking and fingering. I came twice before he erupted inside me.

We snuggled in each other's arms.

"Thank you for the most wonderful twenty five years." I murmured. "It wasn't always plain sailing but we made it through."

"Thank you too. It's been great."

I fell asleep, feeling very happy with our life and was looking forward to the rest of our lives having fun, going places, just the two of us.

The next morning my dreams were shattered. When we first met, Barry was starting to write a book about the history of our town. We often went out together doing research on the old buildings. Over time this tailed off and I assumed that he had lost interest in it.

Over breakfast, he said.

"I've enjoyed the past twenty five years but with all the family activities, parties and going to the theatre, I've had no time for my book. Now, the time is mine to get on with my writing. I think I deserve it. I'll still do all the usual household chores but I won't do any socialising any more."

I was stunned. I had no idea that the book was still so important to him.

" What will I do?" I asked.

"You can still go out enjoying yourself."

" That's no fun without you."

"I'm sorry but my mind is made up."

There was no point in continuing after that, so I just had to make the best of it.

It was hard. There were so many things I missed, snuggling together in front of the TV, going for walks etc. When he came home from work, we would eat, then he would disappear to his study and be in there all evening. Even at the table he had his nose in his phone, researching. There was no conversation.

Our sex life dried up completely. I would go to bed and be asleep before he finished in the study. My attempts to engage him at other times were just rebuffed.

Apart from work, I had no life. Barry seemed to have lost interest in me completely.

I went to the theatre. The play was good, but I missed talking to Barry about it afterwards.

It was about two months later that I decide that I had to make the effort and went to a night out with friends. It was pretty boring. All the others were couples and the conversations revolved round where they'd been and I couldn't contribute anything to that. I drank more than I normally do and was a bit tipsy.

There was a group playing and there were couples dancing on the small dance floor. My resentment towards Barry grew. We could have been out there having fun. I don't know why he couldn't at least take a night off once every couple of weeks, but he wouldn't despite my pleas. My thoughts were interrupted by a voice.

"You look bored there. Would you like to dance with me?"

I looked up to see Terry, yes the Terry that was allegedly fucking Angelina, smiling down at me.

Why not, I thought. I was just sitting here doing nothing.

"OK." I said, standing up.

We walked onto the dance floor and started dancing. He was a good dancer and I was beginning to enjoy myself. After a few fast numbers, the group started on slower ones. I made to move back to the table but he grabbed me and pulled me close. As we swayed to the music he moved me away from where those on our table could see us. I didn't notice.

He had his arms round my waist and mine were round his back. His hands slipped down to my bottom but I pulled them back up. When he pulled me close I could feel his erection against my body. His hands slipped back to my bottom. This time I left them there.

Despite myself I was getting quite turned on. I hadn't had any physical contact with Barry for ages, apart from the occasional brush against each other when doing chores. Being in the arms of a young fit man who was obviously turned on by me, was quite exciting.

He kissed me on my forehead and whispered.

"I want to fuck you"

My pussy gushed at the thought. I shouldn't even think about it, but my anger at Barry and the drink let me think about it.

I put one hand between us and rubbed his hardness over his trousers. My God! He was well hung, much bigger than Barry. Images flashed in my mind of me laid with my thighs spread wide and this big cock pushing into me. I almost came just thinking about it.

My rubbing him obviously gave him a green light and his hand slipped up my skirt, finding my wet panties. If he hadn't spoken, I might well have let him fuck me.

"God woman. You're so fucking wet." As he slipped a finger into me.

Those words made me realise what I was doing. I was a married woman making out in a public place with a guy half my age and he was preying on me for his gratification.

I slid my hand down between his legs and he groaned as it reached his balls. Instead of the fondling he was expecting, I squeezed hard. He shrieked.

"Get your finger out of me now." I snarled at him. "If you ever try that on me again, I'll make sure your balls never work again."

I pushed him away, went back to the table for my bag and coat and went home.

The next morning, I told Barry about it, but he just brushed it off. At that point I almost wished that I'd let Terry have me.

While things at home were dull and boring most of the time, work was hectic. The company had take on a big contract and bought more trucks. More trucks on the road meant more work for me and it soon became obvious that it was more than I could handle. They employed a young man called Martin He was bright lad and it only took a few days of him watching me to be able to work alone.

While there was too much work for me, there wasn't really enough for two of us, so we often had time to talk.

He was a nice enough lad, but I was jealous of his social life. On Monday mornings we would chat about our weekends. He had loads to say and I had nothing. It's irrational, I know, but I began to dislike him. I managed to hide it I think.

We managed to work together quite well and keep friendly with each other. It would have been difficult otherwise in such a small office.

One day I found out about a show that both Barry and I wanted to see. It was coming to our local theatre and tickets were on sale.

"Hey, Barry." I said. "That show we both want to see is coming here soon. Should I get tickets?"

"Don't bother with a ticket for me, but by all means get one for yourself."

Damn. I was sure he'd want to see that show. I really wanted to see it but I hated the thought of going alone. I was in a foul mood when I got to work the next morning.

"You don't seem very happy this morning. What's up? Martin asked.

"I'm not very happy. I replied. "There's a show coming to the theatre that Barry and I have wanted to see for a long time, and he can't make it."

"What show is that?"

I told him.

"I want to see that show. Why don't we go together?"

That shocked me.

"Why would you want to go with an old woman like me? Why not with your friends?"

"My friends aren't interested in theatre and I'd rather go with you than on my own."

"I'll think about it."

"Don't think too long or the tickets will be sold out."

Work got busy for a while but I still thought about it. Obviously I'd tell Barry I was going, but should I tell him I was going with Martin. I felt it would be wrong for me not to tell Barry as there shouldn't be any secrets between us, but on the other hand, he hasn't shown the slightest interest in what I do.

After lunch, I said to Martin.

"I don't want to see the show on my own any more than you do. Lets go together."

"I've just thought. You're married. What will your husband say about this?"

"There shouldn't be a problem. I'll talk to him tonight."

That evening I told Barry that I would be going to the show and I would let him know when. He just nodded and said.

"OK" Before vanishing into his study.

The next morning I said to Martin.

"Barry is OK about it. It would be better if one of us bought both tickets to make sure we aren't sat miles apart."

"That's great." He said with a smile. "I was hoping you could work it out. I'll get the tickets. Which performance would you prefer?"

"Any would be fine with me."

"Right. I'm on it"

The next day, Martin said.

"I've got the tickets for the Wednesday evening performance."

"That's great. How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing. It's my treat."

"That's not on." I said. "You paying makes it more like a date and I don't do dates."

His face fell and he told me how much.

I paid him cash.

On the morning of the show, Martin asked me.

"Do you want to go for a meal before the show?"

"Sorry. It's bad enough that a married woman is going to a show with a young guy. Lets not do too much."

His face fell. I began to wonder if he was getting too involved. What was I letting myself in for? I didn't want the drama of a young man wanting me. Was I misreading the situation? I didn't know but I resolved to make this the last time.

"Where are we going to meet?" He asked.

"I'll meet you at the theatre at seven thirty."

"OK." He replied.

I was quite excited when I got home. This was a show I'd been waiting for. During our meal, I said to Barry.

"You remember that I'm going to see that show tonight?"

"Yes, I remember. Enjoy yourself."

I showered and pondered what to wear. I didn't want to wear jeans and a T shirt. That was what I wore for work. Equally, I didn't want to be too dressy so I decided on a dark blue knee length skirt, white blouse and a pale grey jacket. A light touch of make up and I was good to go.

When I arrived at the theatre, Martin was there waiting for me.

"Snap." I said when I saw what he was wearing, dark blue trousers, white shirt and a grey jacket.

He laughed then said.

"You scrub up well. You look gorgeous."

"Cheeky monkey." I replied, quietly pleased that he liked the way I looked. It was the most notice anybody had take in me for a long while.

The show was brilliant and we both enjoyed it a lot. Martin turned out to be very knowledgeable about theatre in general as I found out at half time drinks.

When we left the theatre, we stood for a while before saying goodbye. I was worried that he might try to kiss me, which would have been awkward for me. I wasn't interested in that kind of relationship.

We had a brief hug and went our separate ways.

The atmosphere at work was always good but now seemed to be even better in some ways. I think the night at the theatre made us more relaxed with each other.

Martin was very observant and noticed any changes in me. One weekend, I had to get new spectacles and on Monday the first words out of his mouth were.

"Wow! Happy new specs. They really suit you."

"Thank you, kind Sir." I replied.

Barry hadn't even noticed or if he had, he didn't bother to comment. I wish he was more like Martin.

"What am I thinking? I shouldn't be comparing my husband with another man. That's a slippery slope to be on.

Another day I was dressing for work and the zip on my jeans broke. I only had two pairs. I kept meaning to buy another but never got round to it. My other pair was still wet from being washed. I quickly went through my wardrobe and pulled out a denim skirt. It was only when I was driving to work that I realised that it was a bit short.

Martin's eyes widened when he saw me.

"Emily's got legs and lovely legs they are."

"Flattery will get you everywhere." I laughed

"That's what I was hoping."

"In your dreams. Behave yourself."

"Awww. Do I have to?"

"Yes. Now get to work."

It was only jocular banter. I had no interest in Martin that way, besides I was married. It was a marriage in name only now. Barry took little notice of me and hadn't touched me in any way for months. There had been no sex at all. I was getting very frustrated with the whole situation, but marriage is for better or worse. I'd had the better, now it was time to endure the worse. I had to hope that his book was nearly finished.

A few weeks later, Martin asked.

"Have you heard about the acrobatic troupe coming to the theatre in a couple of weeks? It sounds like fun."

"No. I hadn't heard. What's so special about them?"

"According to what I've heard, they do some pretty daring and risky stuff, like high wire walking without a safety net, that kind of stuff."

"Sounds interesting."

"I'm going. Do you want to come with me?"

I had to think about this. Going out with him once was just to see a play I really wanted to see. This sounded interesting but I thought going out with Martin twice was getting too deep.

He noticed my hesitation.

"Come on. It will be fun."

"Why me? Surely there must be some of your friends you could go with."

"Non of them are interested. Besides, you are much more interesting to go with."

"Trying the old flattery trick, are we?"

"Why not?"

"I'll think about it."

I spoke to Barry about it and all he said was.

"Have fun."

Well, if he cares so little about it, why shouldn't I go? I thought about it a lot. I liked Martin but I was a lot older than him and married. I didn't want to give out signals that we were more than workmates. I also wasn't sure whether or not he was just joking with some of his comments. Sometimes he seemed quite serious.

Eventually I agree to go to the show and Martin bought the tickets as before.

The show was amazing. The performers were very very good. The final act was scary. A young girl climbed to the top of a pole. It must have been about twenty feet high. Round the bottom of the pole were long knives with the blades pointing upwards. She was doing a pole dance routine at the top of the pole when she 'slipped' and slid rapidly down the pole, just stopping before she reached the bottom.

As she slipped I shrieked and grabbed hold of Martin's hand. It wasn't until we were leaving at the end of the show that I realised I was still holding his hand. I pulled my hand away and said.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that."

"There's nothing to be sorry about." He replied. " I quite enjoyed it."

We parted ways outside the theatre after thanking each other for a wonderful evening.

Martin kept asking me to go out quite often, to a show, to the cinema, to a concert in the park, but I kept turning him down.

One Saturday, whilst out shopping, I bumped into Martin and he convinced me to have a coffee with him. I was a bit reluctant but he won me over in the end.

I wanted to clear up where we stood with each other as it was bugging me. Was he after more than friendship? If so, he would be disappointed as although I was developing feelings for him, it could never be. I asked him.

"We're workmates who get on well together, but you've asked me out a lot outside of work. You seem to want to spend time with me. What are you hoping for? What are you expecting from me?"

"I like your company and have very strong feelings for you. I know you are married and I also know that you are not happy just now. You deserve to be happy and I think that I could make you happy if you were with me."

"You want me to leave my husband for you?"

"I would love that, but I know it's unlikely because you believe so strongly about fidelity."

"Why me? There are plenty of available women your own age group to choose from."

"Younger women don't interest me at all. Most of them are air heads, only interested in taking selfies and bragging about where they've been. You aren't like that. You are you. You have no need to make yourself anything other than you are. I adore that."

"I'm very flattered. Thank you. I have feelings for you too, but I just can't. I have to try to make things work with Barry."

"I understand fully and I like that about you. Just remember that I'm here for you at any time. Our friendship is fine as it is, but if you decide to take it further, just tell me"

"Well, at least I know what you are feeling and what you are hoping for. I have a lot of thinking to do."

That night, Barry vanished into his study as normal. I just sat in the lounge thinking. My thoughts went like this.

Was I happy with Barry? - No

Should I talk to Barry about it. I mean really sit and talk? - Yes

Would that achieve anything? - I don't think so.

Do I deserve to be happy? - Yes

Would I be happy with Martin? - I think so

Would life with Martin be any worse than with Barry? - No.

I resolved to try to get through to Barry about our situation, but I wasn't hopeful. If it didn't work, I would go to Martin.

In the meantime I hedged my bets by renting a storage unit and gradually moving my stuff out of the house. I could always move it back if Barry and I worked things out.

Each evening I asked.

"Barry. Can we talk. It's really important."

"Not now." was always the reply.

At work, I asked Martin.

"Are you really sure about me living with you. Please, if you have any doubts, tell me. This is a huge step that I'm taking and I don't want to take it in vain."

His face lit up.

"Of course I'm sure. You would make me happy beyond my wildest dreams."

"Thank you. It means a lot. I have to keep trying with Barry, but if I can't get anything from him by Friday night, I'll come to you."

He grabbed me and hugged me tight.

"I don't want to be a marriage breaker but I hope like hell he doesn't play ball."

"You're not breaking a marriage. It's been dead for a while but I just hadn't realised it. This is one last chance of reviving it."

"How will I know when you're coming?" He asked.

"It will have to be a short notice decision. If things don't work on Friday I'll text you and let you know I'm on my way."

"That's great."

Friday night came round and I gave it one last try.

"Barry, I'm lonely all the time. How long will it be until the book is finished?"

"It will be finished when it's finished." was all he said as he disappeared into his study.

That was the final straw. Most of my stuff was in storage so I only had a small suitcase of things to pack. I then sat down to write him a letter.

Dear Barry,

I'm leaving you. Since our wedding anniversary my life has been horrible. You have rarely spoken to me. The only physical contact has been if we brushed against each other doing chores. You haven't hugged me, kissed me, or made love to me.

When I told you about Terry trying to get me into bed, you just shrugged it off. I wish now that I'd let him have me. At least I would have had some sex.

I've tried repeatedly to get you to engage with me, even tonight. It was to no avail.

I have the chance to find the happiness that is missing in this marriage and I'm going to take it. If you want to divorce me, I wont fight it.

Emily.

I sent a text to Martin "On my way."

He replied with "Great. Have you eaten?"

"No."

"OK. I'll sort something."

Chapter Three - Life with Martin

I put my case into the car and set off. On the drive across town it suddenly occurred to me that in all the conversations with Martin, the subject of sex never came up. I suspected that he would want to have me and I would let him, but it had never been talked about. It had been so long, that the thought of sex made me damp.