In Absentia: Two Anniversaries

When you return, we will need to talk about our relationship, yours and mine, and some of the discontents and frustrations we each appear to be feeling. I believe some changes must be made. In the meantime, Happy Anniversary, sweetheart! I hope next year we finally can be together here for our anniversary for the first time. Maybe we can take a vacation someplace warm where we can be loving and carefree and very sexy together. Or, maybe those won't be what we will be planning for, or wanting, or needing.

Love from your wife,

Amber.

When Thomas came over that Sunday evening, he said he had talked with his girlfriend to confirm that she would be home the next week end.

After dinner I took Thomas into our bedroom and laid him down on the bed. I gave him hot kisses on his chest and shoulders and mouth and I unbuttoned his pants and then unzipped them. I reached for him and grasped him and moved my warm hand on his now very hard stalk. He moaned in pleasure as as I moved my hand up and down his lovely cock and I wanted to taste him in my mouth. I knew if I continued he would come soon and I did not want that then. I wanted to use him to relieve my own most urgent desire, to be filled with him. I whispered, "Tom, I want you inside me first. And then we can do more later, anything you want. Can I have you in me now?"

" Amber, we have all night for everything we want from one another."

I stood and removed my top and my skirt and my bra and my panties until I was standing naked before him. I knelt and pulled his pants down and off as he removed his shirt and tossed it aside. I sat down next to him and pulled him toward me and then on down so he was lying his back on the couch. And I straddled him, my pussy just beyond the tip of his cock. And I asked him, "Tom, can I take what I need from you? You can see what that is. I'm ready."

What I wanted, and needed, this second time with him, and nothing would keep me from, was hot, unrestrained, greedy, raw, do anything to get it, sexual pleasure, taking it from and giving it back to a new man, not because I loved him but because I needed sex, to be fucked, and maybe it wouldn't have even mattered right then who I was with. I would have taken anyone who could match my passion and give me what I craved. 'Lust is what this is,' I said to myself. And I knew I had never felt so lustful for hot fucking in my whole life.

He smiled, "Take what you need, Amber. We need the same thing."

And, as had a few times been the case with me when high, the thoughts and pictures in my head seemed to need to be put into words. I wanted to use words that would let him ingest my wantonness. And I knew from last night that he loved for us to share the words in our minds.

"To fuck, Tom? Is that what you need? That's what I need. To fuck you and to be fucked! To give you a hot fuck, a fuck you won't forget. I like to hear myself say it to you and for you to hear it. "

"Keep saying it Amber. I will give you all I have."

I lowered myself over the tip of his hard cock. I was very wet. Even though he was of a good size my wet pussy offered no resistance and I was able to slide slowly slowly all the way down until I felt my whole body was settled on him, filled with him. And then I moved up and down on his cock, trying to make this last longer, to make this exquisite for both of us for as long as we could resist the harder and faster don't you dare stop stage so inevitable. I could feel, and I hoped he was feeling, every inch of pleasure from the communion of our desire. We made beautiful sounds together, expressions of our pleasure, and then feverish noises as we finished, and collapsed. I wish I had recorded the hot driving sounds at the end of our first mating.

After he had brought me off with his mouth, I said, "Thomas, I want your cock one more time before you go. You can use me however you want, but there is one special gift I want to give you." I reached over to a drawer next to my side of the bed and removed a tube of KY jelly.

"Thomas, I owe you a lot for all you have done for me and shared with me this week end. To show you how much you have given me, I want give you a special gift. It will be special for me, and I hope for you too. I want to jack you off now until you are very hard and then to make your cock very slick. Then I will turn over on my stomach for you and I want you to watch me reach back and spread my cheeks for you. I know you will be as gentle and patient as you always are as you fuck my ass for as long as you want. I want to tighten my ass around your sweet prick and for you to tell me how it looks and how it feels until you shoot off and fill me up with your hot cum. Then I hope you will tell me I have given you the very best ass fuck you have ever had or dreamed of having. "

And that is what I did for Thomas and he told me just what I wanted to hear, that he loved it and it was a very special gift. I was pleased I had learned I could take a good size cock in my ass with very little pain at first and then with real pleasure, that anal sex did not need to be a sacrifice. I liked knowing I could do this when I was horny and stimulated and I hoped I would want to do it again, a special thing for special men.

Then, very shortly, Thomas left and I have not seen him since.

I did not hear from Jack after I sent the e-mail to him on Sunday morning late. He came home two weeks later. I tried to begin a conversation several times to discuss where we were in our relationship, what we each was feeling about our marriage.

As the days went by I thought often of how my actions at the time of our first two anniversaries had placed Jack in a very uncomfortable position. It must have been awkward not only when he encountered Arthur Vickery but now, even more difficult, how Jack would be wondering every day which one of the other young lawyers was it who had spent a week end of sex with me--and how many other lawyers might have heard of what happened between Thomas and me. I felt guilty about this but also that Jack's insensitivity and his coldness toward me over many months largely justified my action.

I continued for several months to try to persuade Jack we needed to talk, we needed to make changes. It didn't happen. Each time he scowled and turned away. Thomas and his girlfriend became engaged a month after her return.

Finally, Jack revealed to me he had been with a woman in Argentina, a lawyer from New York involved in the same case as an expert on financial matters in dispute. He went to New York several times to see her. He said he cared deeply about her. He and I soon separated and have remained so for the past two years. We have not divorced, more out of inertia than any expectation of reconciliation. We don't love each other now. Jack lives in his own apartment. I don't expect to attend any more of the law firm's annual picnics on the lake. I heard he was looking to move to a firm in Brooklyn.

Recently a gallery owner from Chicago came to my studio to view some of my new paintings. He liked them. He liked me. He stayed for three days. I've been to Chicago to see him. He is doing a show of my paintings in his gallery. My paintings are selling well and at ever higher prices in each of the four galleries that handle them. My painting is going well, heading in several new directions.

I hired a handsome young architect to design a better studio space for me, nearer to my apartment in the center of the city. We met there frequently during the several months of the project. Very convenient. A comfortable couch was my first piece of furniture there. I plan to stay in Cleveland, at least for the time being.

The gallery owner and the architect are two of my sexual partners; most of the time they give me most of what I need--not love but genuine affection and respect, good conversation and satisfying sex. There have been others, some for only one night, including several students who have modeled for me, and some new erotic experiences on vacations, especially on art focused trips to France and Italy. My painting is better than ever. "Inspired" some critics say.