All Comments on 'In the End It was Frank's Game'

Frank is right. She sad it herself "No Marc, I can't go with you tonight," Brooke answered him.

Note her "can't go tonight" clearly leaves the door open for future times. It should have been simply "Not going near you EVER!"

Really good story.

Ed

Nice story, really well though in some parts, the whole debacle fo LeVille going into frensi is only justifiable if he was on coke ro soemthing that heavy no pussy is worth all that show he put up.

Shit ending, to an other wise decent story.

4* the ending prevented the 5* these are short stories. unless you plan on a sequel, leaving an open ending will ALWAYS disappoint the reader.

Garbage, how many times do you need to repeat the same stupid conversation, the moment she said she inteded to do it grab her left hand take the wedding ring off and tell the cheating slut whore to go fuck who ever she wants it's over.....don't come home!!!!!!!

Story wise, this is a 3+ . It would have been a 4 ⭐ except you left it open ended. Almost nobody wants to finish the story for you. Frank took a stand until the last paragraph, then he couldn't make a final decision.

Story was going great then just stopped, 3*

Well written, well paced story. Like most stories, it is a moment in time. Do we know what they had for dinner in the past week? What perfume she was wearing? No, of course not, none of that matters in this moment. What happens after this moment is not relevant, either. The moment has ended. Is there a story to be told in the future? Sure. If the author chooses to share the future it will be revealed to us. If not, the moment is over. Good story. Thank you.

The story was very interesting. I hope there is a followup

why would he keep the cheating whore time to toss her to the curb better yet take her to Europe and leave the slut there to fend for herself no money no cards no identification

Mainly consisted of a load of unnecessary bullshit and he should have just let the bitch go and then divorce her as it's obvious that she will cheat sometime if not that night.

Unfinished

Everything about it was exceptional, even his thoughts about her at the end. I would love another story, were she did cheat on him again and paid the consequences in full.

What is with these so called writers than will not finish a story.

I think Marc pointing the gun, sealed his fate. If he had exited the SUV, without the gun, got beat up by you, he would have been the victim in the game, and your wife would have waiting for his recover to fuck Marc brains out, declaring him the hero. I know the gun changed everything. Also, Marc knew Margorie, the off-site cop, why? Why do I feel she would have shot him anyway, even if he didn't have a gun. You, as the writer, can have all kinds of fun with this, by having Marc survive, Brooke thinking she can still get what she wants, while you are in Europe. Several more chapters should conclude this. Great story line, well done. Keep writing.

XYZ

In another story ,, Marc was hit by a car after he ruined another marriage

Good story, didn't love the ending, or lack there of. How do you stay married to someone you know you can't trust.

An unfortunate ending, much more was possible. NOTE TO WRITERS, IF THE STORY IS LEFT OPEN FOR MORE, PLEASE ADD A NOTE TO THAT EFFECT. It would save the writer from negative comments and the readers from wasting their time on an unfinished symphony. Like many other stories that end in this fashion it was looking promising but the ending means 3* when the writing deserved more.

It's a very good try among the many follow ups to GA's story. I gave it 4 stars; the take off was clever and intriguing, but the possibilities weren't sufficiently well developed.

Brooke reminded me of my dad's favorite old Dylan song:

She takes just like a woman

Yes, she makes love just like a woman

Yes, she does, and she aches just like a woman

But she breaks just like a little girl

God story, a predator should always be put down

That wasn't an ending.

@sbrooks,

Anyone that read the story would already know what happened or what could have happened. So your thoughts and comments are nothing more than moot points!!

Great story. Its true that he should never trust his wife again. Just fuck her until the kids get older.

Glad the arsehole was terminated with prejudice. 3 rounds that will do it. The slut unfortunately app are not to have learned anything and will need to b kicked to the curb immediately for Frank to have any peace of mind.

Too bad that LaValliere was killed. Would have preferred to see him take two shots to the shoulder, which would spin him around and negate any shots he might get off, and one round to his lower leg. So much for a season running down field and catching any passes.

When is the rest of the story coming out? The divorce and BTB part.

DIVORCE.

Okay, fools. Shut the fuck up. You must be dense as iron.

This tale is OVER.

Frank is right.

She is going to play away.

Her words to Marc before he was shot give the game away: ""No Marc, I can't go with you tonight," Brooke answered him."

Note: not "I won't go with you" as in final and done, but instead she delivers "Can't go tonight" implying later is a wide open possibility.

Marc's story is over but there could certainly be a follow-up with Brooke's fall in the future.

Mfj

she will cheat, no doubt at all.

The fact that she walked down that hallway meant that their marriage was over. If Frank is so omnipotent, he must have surely known as well. He ended the wrong person.

For the idiot that said the shooter should have shot him twice in the shoulder and when he spun around, shoot him in the leg. It's obvious the idiot has never shot a handgun. During target practice or in competition, you ALWAYS shoot center mass.....no bulllshit "twice in the shoulder and then in the leg" crap. Sounds like some idiot reporter that's never been in a situation when weapons are at the point of being aimed at people. Namby Pamby crap.....always center mass. Enough said.

This was Better than the first Draft of this story but still the End has not been done as of yet. To many questions left unanswered in My Opinion .

divorce her now she cheated in her mind

Nope murder is not the answer Marjorie knew it was a game and he was not going to shoot anyone so she should have made her presence know faster especially since she is a cop. She could have defused the situation,

As for the wife there is a saying “ If a guy steals your wife the best revenge is to let him have her”.

@timriv this is a story but life is not a TV show a cop is not going to try and talk anyone down if you are brandishing a weapon and acting erratically you will be put down. There is not negotiation no talk about "you do not want to do this you have so much to live for." Especially in a crowd it is two to the chest every time. Shit in the city I live in they shot a guy with a knife who would not comply and was swinging it wildly.

Rarely give a 5. Did on this,

Don't bother arguing with that idiot timriv. He is too dumb to understand basic English. "murder" and "killing" are two different things, both in English, law, and even bible. But the man-hating idiot progressive child who doesn't understand that actions have consequences and people plating stupid games win stupid prizes.

I'm surprised the author forced the husband to just wonder in the end instead of (as he clearly knew he should have) divorce the lying bitch who had zero regards for his feelings, emotions and well-being. Still 5 stars because it was one of the few F.S. sequels that dared to off the asswipe shitstain.

Sooner later she will cross the line to satisfy her curiosity.

Dumb story

3 pages too long and I advise you not to give up your day job...

I really like the ending— no one won this one…

Love it that Marc was killed BUT hate it that frank did not kick his slut wife to the kerb Frank the seed is there get rid of her She is a goner (jaybee186)

They just get worse and worse.

Loved the last paragraph, the most important part 8f the story.

Good story, well written. Thanks for writing

Brooke knows her husband is a corporate fixer and obviously a dangerous man, and yet she acts like this? Ray Donovan wouldn’t tolerate her cheating, so Frank shouldn’t either.

One of the best ending stories to this saga.

Most of my awards are three and four stars, with many of them four. This is a five star story. The pessimistic ending clinched it.

JPB

So Frank needs to explain to her exactly what will happen while he is away. Cameras, voice activated recorders, and cell phone trackers needed. Once she steps over the line-the very moment, he has her served with divorce papers. Sure could use a second chapter.

Nice to see the odd version of this without a placid husband.

Follow up?

Loved it, but it's only half finished, I want to read the consequences of what happens when she eventually does cheat. 5*

Heu? Un peu merdique quand même.

Helen1899 raises a good point well done now we want more than the 100s ofsucks even though this one is in the top 1% and we want the twists you put into these wonderfully terrible peoples

1st page was good then it got off the track, especially at the end. Guess a future cheater was exposed though.

She said "No Marc, I can't go with you tonight", so she was trying to convince Marc to wait and not to make any problem and giving him the impression that she would go with her on another day behind his husband's back

I think that Frank is so patient, he should divorce her immediately because she is a cheater, and even if she did not go because of his threat, she actually was committed in adulatory, and it is just a mater of time till she actually do it behind his back

I think that you need to finish the story

One other thing that Marc left his two bodyguards to beat the shit out of the husband as if there is no law in the USA

if that happened then Marc and his friends would be in Jill for a long time

Excellent story that beg for a follow-up on when she does cheat and cheat she will.

This “story” was an insult to GA’s original work. 1*

I have enjoyed ALL of the “Feb Sucks” variants, and I hope they keep coming.

I agree with the comment that this story begs for a follow up. Frank is a man of action. Cool under fire, calculating every move, and every response that will be made. He would realize that keeping her, without any precautionary adjustments would place himself in a disadvantaged situation when the shock of that night fades in her mind and another young handsome dick comes along.

I believe the Frank that was described here would not allow her actions that night to go with no response by him. At very minimum, I see him insisting on her signing a post nuptial agreement which would rape her if she stepped over that line again.

Her disrespect of him was demonstrated very publicly, unforgivably, in my book. My impression of that Frank, even though he still loves her, would come to the conclusion that his love would be replaced by hate. That she could proclaim to love him, yet do this unspeakable thing, deliberately, and in the presence of all of their friends can not coexist. Conclusion: she loves herself more than Frank.

The actions she was guilty of that night included: showing another man more attention than her husband; allowing that man to speak to her of things that a proper woman would have slapped his face and walked away; hold her and caress her intimately; agree to leave her husband standing like a fool while she slivered away; being OK with the body guards physically stopping her husband’s intervention – perhaps hurting him severely; and finally, expecting Frank to overlook her spending a night of debauchery with another man.

The way this story was told, she had ample time to think through what she was doing and how it would affect her so called love. It was not a split-second drunken decision and therefore is extremely revealing. Frank would not have missed any of these points, and after being denied the satisfaction of personally killing Marc, dealing with her would be next.

I would enjoy reading about that response.

I agree with several comments that this needs to be continued by the author. It really needs to be finished. The writing was good. I also agree that Linda will cheat in the future. 4 stars on because of how it ended.

The best follow up story of all

At the very end Frank misread her answer. She did not regret having lost out on her experience, she was a little pissed he would even ask her that. Not a very strong future ahead for these two.

He should divorce the slut now

I'm not picking on story problems/errors.

This Husband is a man that you don't f__K with.

This wife will cheat but she will sneak and do it while she thinks he's away.

She will be caught by him in person and her wedding rings removed.

Husband is possibly looking; just viewing for possible replacement.

I liked better than any of the other MARC stories.

From my perspective better than all the others.

I think that you need to add another page to this story. It actually need for him to tell his wife to pack her clothes and get out. She has already betrayed him, he can't trust her now. she didn't fuck him yet but she did cheated. I wife doesn't kiss other men and let them feel her up. He doesn't need to be worrying about WHEN she will cheat again.

Their marriage ended when the idea entered her head of her having sex with her celebrity. My wife never cheated on me that I know of physically but she ran with a woman that had a open marriage before it was talked about. In the early 70's late 60's I thought that I was the one in my marriage that was " worldly" but I guess I was as niave as a new born lamb. Later in our marriage when I had lost my local job and had to travel for work and found myself cutoff from intimatcy because I had been gone to long, that I found out about our friends arrangement in their marriage, because I accused my wife of having a affair she said right with three kids in the house two teenage daughters like she had time. The real blow up came when I had to return to work ( I was driving truck), and the terminal was 75 miles from my home and she didn't want to take me back. So I had to start hitchhiking. I made it about to the express way 12 miles when she showed up and took me the rest of the way. I stayed out for three months before, she asked me to come home. I never drew a check, I lived off my fuel bonus. I only went to truck stops for laundromat and showers, our company had terminals though out the country and we had to pass through them for mail and service on our trucks. I finally caught the dispatch from hell and a dispatcher to go with it, and when he said that I had to go to Joplin and drop my load I told safety to review my dispatch for the last 7 days and send my last check to my house.

I understand that this is just a story but I understand that the disrespect that the husband felt in this instances. I wish I had divorced my wife for her disrespect which continued until a really big blow up. I confronted her and her church elders and she was disfellowshiped for a period of time.

Somebody finally bumped off LaValliere........Thank God!

She knows her husband so well, she knows he is conceal carrying, she knows his capabilities, she knows he us a “fixer”, and yet she is seduced by another man in as little as a half hour. If she wants to save the marriage Her response to his question at the end should have been an honest one followed by “I’ll make an appointment to see a psychologist tomorrow”.

This was one of the best "Feb. sucks" stories, even if the primary player's names were different. However, you brought up that he's unsure if he could trust her, that she'd likely cheat when he's away. Another page or 2 is needed to explore what the author think would happen.

Feeling that way, the husband not only puts in some cameras & other equipment to hear what she says/ does when he's working or on a business trip, but hires a PI, or someone from his job, to watch her. Then, the author writes either one or the other: she succumbs to her newfound need to have sex with another man... or she's been true to her last statements. How the author wrote the ending leads me to believe it'll be the former. And, like Tiger27 below me, I'm happy someone finally dealt with the scumbag.

There's also the possibility of the husband mis-reading what his wife said about missing the opportunity for sex with Marc. But that would need more explanation, considering her initial insistence that she be allowed that experience. With enough thought, a small 2nd part could be written. 5 stars Bob

The MC is right, he will always be looking over his shoulder, wondering when she is going to cheat. Leave the marriage now!

One of the best endings 5 stars from Xluckylee

Another story written that you didn't have the skill to end. Find another hobby

Very poorly written, stilted dialogue, not believable MC. 2**

He needs to cut his losses and move on.

I love the death of the asshole. He knew it and slowly bled out. Nice touch. I’m glad the MC knows his wife is a whore and can deal with her as such.

Pretty good story, I gave it a four. A couple of observations: 1. What was the point in stopping her after she decided to put her night of passion ahead of her marriage. Once she decided to go with Marc, she's made her choice whether or not she goes through with it. Her betrayal has already taken place. 2. Why does Carol deserve no ramifications while Marc deserves death? Most of these stories fall short when they hold Marc more accountable than the wife. 3. Don't confuse "yea" with "yeah" They're very different meanings. Thanks, keep writing.

The MC better arrange for the slut wife to “disappear”!

ZK

It needs the next chapter.

If a guy like Marc is what woman consider worthy of fantasizing over, then I feel bad for women in general. What is the world coming to?

It's funny all the bullshit she's shovelling. I couldn't help but laugh and roll my eyes at how insane it was. Like no one that is even remotely sane would believe a word of the drivel coming out of her mouth. Preposterous would be one word for it.

"I'm not going to give up our life together for him. I'm not that stupid." That is literally what you were going to do you dumb bitch. Does she have any functioning brain cells in that damn head of hers I wonder?

Anyway her behaviour makes no sense. She's all-in on with cucking hubby with Marc then the sudden turnaround to no, no, no, I would never cheat, oh god what was I thinking. Is she bi-polar or something?

"Frank, I'm sick." Yeah, you'll get no arguments from me you stupid bitch. I recommend a lot of therapy to deal with your issues. Then maybe we'll talk. And yeah, he's right to be concerned about her not wanting the bastard to suffer. I mean he did nearly cost her her marriage. What the fuck? I'd be livid. Absolutely furious. And out for blood! Again, I maintain she has severe mental health issues. It appears Marc was equally disturbed. They make a right pair.

As for that bit at the end about her being awakened to being more than a wife and wanting other men, uh what? Why can't she experience all the stuff mentioned there with her husband? That's a weird line to draw. Your spouse is the one person you should be able to share all that kind of stuff with because they are meant to accept and love you and be open to exploring everything with you (that doesn't involve other people, although some couples go for that). It all seems so very arbitrary and opinionated. If she does end up cheating in future after all this, then she really was a lost cause and broken beyond repair. That's no-one's fault; just her nature. But I wish them all the best.

gstein is sharp new writer who has brilliantly illustrated -

1) the sin that lies in the human heart,

2) that when the selfish sinful nature is fully awakened, it becomes a monster not to be trusted.

Well done 5

To the comment of Anon - "no one that is even remotely sane would believe a word of the drivel coming out of her mouth." Correct! Which shows that the ideas pushed about as woman's 'rights' to her body is in effect promoting insanity, and we begin to understand the increasingly high statistics of women cheating in a marriage.

The Hoary Cleric

MC has big pockets in his dress pants. The mini Sig Sauer is 5.9" long and 4" high, just over 1" wide. Guess when slow dancing with his wife, or others, she-they thought he was "packing"

Liked it. Though he now needs to have her sign a very punitive post nuptial agreement, if he doesn't go ahead and divorce her.

It won't be long before they are divorced.

If she does, pretty sure he can deal with it. Start hiding assets

Now Frank needs to FIX Brooke. Nothing worse than a "loose cannon" in a skirt!

If your going to write this trash ...FTDS

Certain lines haunt me so I stop and make a comment. " no mark, I can't go with you tonight".

Tonight, but another night?

This is definitely my favorite version of the story. There were many I liked, but this is the best.

When said no "Mark, I can't go with you tonight" the end was spoken.

Small issue, I wish Frank had been allowed to kill him.

This storie need a part 2

Apparently Frank is so good at handling the two muscleheads you felt we readers do not need anything other being told? Dude this is very preachy writing. Describing a story for the reader is not very enjoyable reading. How about some more dialogue and details?

Q Frank should have finished the night by telling the cunt that papers would be served on her soon. Then end the story with her figuring out how to change his mind knowing it was an exercise in futility. 12 years down the drain!

10 Big Blazing Stars for writer Gstein! What a unique and excellent ending to the Marc LaValliere Story. LOL I can understand the MC frustration that the security guard got to shoot LaValliere instead of himself. Plus knowing that his wife is just another whore and it is just a matter of time before she does slip out to have sex with some other guy. So, it really was the end of their marriage either way. Thanks for the effort. Buster2U

Mandatory post-nup and major counseling or divorce. How can you and why should you stay married to a person you can't trust? No way this ends well for both of them

You could have done better with various parts of this story. I don't know what Frank did to the teammates to make them back off, I don't know how Frank new he had a gun (or if he did or not) or what his game plan was, because you sort of just winged it but made it sound like it was premeditated. I don't know why you ended it the way you did, it seemed pretty unrealistic - its not like women (or men) don't KNOW that they can go and have sex with people they're not married to, I mean we're not talking garden of eden forbidden fruit stuff here. It's more like people don't do it because of a plethora of reasons, like for instance - I don't want to hurt my wife, I don't want to jeopardize my family relations, I don't want to scar my kids, etc. I think it would have been more appropriate for Frank to think that Brooke was actually being contrite, but in the back of his head to realize that even if she sounded sincere, even if he felt she was sincere, he had still lost some fundamental level of trust in her that he might never get back. That would have been a better and more powerful ending.

He needs to save himself a lot of grief and just divorce her.