In Total Control...Unfortunately

This is my second submission to the 750 Word Project. I had so much fun writing the first, I decided to submit another one. This story does not involve cheating, but it does delve into the safe sexual routines found inside healthy marriages.

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Rachel flicked the bathroom light and reached for some tissues. The ritual was as old as her 10-year marriage - sex followed by a quick kiss and then a dash to the bathroom to clean up.

She smiled as her eyes adjusted to the light. Well that was different, she thought. Rather than the usual kissing, pajama shedding, token breast play, mutual hand stimulation, all leading to sex, she had given her husband a blow job.

It was, of course, not the first time, she thought as she wiped some of his remnants from between her fingers, but it would also not be accurate to say blow jobs were common. She was actually the recipient of more oral stimulation than he was. Although she never asked, she guessed his more frequent extracurricular attention boiled down to the fact that he always had an orgasm with straight sex, and she didn't, and it was his way of trying to even the score.

Whatever his reasons she didn't complain, but she also didn't reciprocate.

I wonder why? she asked.

It certainly wasn't because her husband didn't enjoy them. Like every man she had ever pleased with her mouth, it was clear he loved it.

So why don't I blow him more often? she wondered.

It was an interesting wifely question, and one she allowed herself to explore while she cleaned up. Guiding his penis into her mouth was never gross, but it also wasn't a big turn on. Truth was she didn't suck him off unless she was in the mood and she was rarely in the mood. Phrases like "raincheck," "not tonight," or "we'll see," were quite common.

After 10 years of a mutually respectful marriage, fellatio had evolved into a treat or reward, if you will, that was invariably left up to her to deliver or withhold.

As a result, what she had was complete control in the blow job department, which, ironically, was exactly the opposite of what she wanted.

Years ago, just out of college, she worked for a prestigious law firm. During her brief employment, she had fooled around with a tall, mid-level, married lawyer who was 34. They hadn't fucked, but he had forcibly kissed her at an after-work event. Later that same night he had moved his hand up her skirt at a crowded table and slipped his fingers inside her panties. Nothing up to that point had been consensual. He took liberties that were not his to take, yet she did nothing. She was a bit naïve but was also no prude. His advances lacked permission, but they met no resistance.

A week before she quit, he called her into his office and asked her to lock the door. Wordlessly, he walked around the desk. She was frozen in place and could feel herself shiver partly with fear. He ran his hand up the front of her short skirt, then placed two hands on her shoulders and pushed her to her knees. She did not resist. Resting on her heels she was facing his crotch. She unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants and briefs down to his feet. His cock was semi-hard. Before she could take any action, he grabbed the back of her head and slowly brought it towards his cock. He was impatient and was not going to be denied. The tip touched her lips and she obediently opened her mouth.

Submitting to him in that moment was a semi-voluntary act she has never fully reconciled, and certainly never forgotten.

Once past her lips, he grabbed her head with both hands and began fucking her mouth. She was not in control. Saliva dripped from her mouth and she repeatedly gagged as he had his way. Looking back, it was not violent, but it was insistent. He could have cared less about her pleasure, yet it was pleasure that consumed her. Soon he came with a vengeance and filled her mouth. He pulled out immediately and began to dress. She rested back on her heels and brought her hand up to her mouth to prevent his cum from dripping onto her lap. She eventually swallowed, stood up, gathered herself, and left the office.

To this day it was the most humiliatingly, degrading and yet erotic thing she had ever done.

It was also something she knew her sweet, steady, beautiful, love-of-her-life husband could never recreate.

She turned off the light, and returned to her bedroom far more aroused than when she left.