All Comments on 'Independence Day - She objected'

I like the fact that in this version he reacted immediately vs waiting a full year. Thus story felt rushed and had some strange side trips but I thought it was a good attempt at a new ending.

I enjoyed this story, thank you

ending was utter garbage. You ended it so quickly. Did you get bored? Take your time on endings as they can ruin a good story. And ruined it you did.

Also an aftermath is important. What happened to the whore and Luke? What happened to the vile children?

Can only give 1* as, I'm sorry to say, this was very poor.

Nice ending if not abrupt. I would think he and his lawyer would have negated the POS much earlier but I guess he may have forgotten about it. Considering their attitude I don't understand why his whole family fought so hard against the divorce. It's not like they were getting anything out of it and just makes them look bad.

Like the story, a lot. AAAAA++++

A bit quick on the ending . . . but I enjoyed the story. I wish there'd been a follow-up on the kids and ex-wife. Did any of them EVER get it? Did he throw them all out of his life for their actions?

This story was going great until the abrupt ending.

What happened next?

Why were the children so desperate to keep them together?

What happened to the cheater?

Maybe hearing from the cheater on how her life was ruined or that she finally understood what her selfishness had done?

As I said a good story so I still gave 4.

5* until the abrupt stop.

3*.

Enjoyable read to short would like to see what the wife's thoughts werE on the change of the medication that she wanted kept high. How she felt when she found out he could perform sexualy again if she had just waited or was it just an excuse to step out on her marriage. The fallout with the kids had affected there relationships. I gave it 5 stars so far.

Rushed ending, but still enjoyable. Thanks for sharing.

Please continue, the family needs to know and pay for that treachery.

Agree with the other comments. Was going really great and then it just stopped! What happened between him and his children? Hard to forgive after what they pulled!

What was he's ex wife's reaction when he got a girlfriend and was having sex again? Please continue.

That worked really well. Families,. huh? 5*

Good story to a point then as others say rushed as if it had to fit the pages. This should have been at least a 3 or more page story.

Rushed ending.

One open Question: Why did Josie order the high medication? Did she have an affair already?

I, too, would enjoy another chapter. Five stars.

I see a lot of comments regarding how abruptly the story finished. I think the real problem is that the story started in the first place.

And…….? Got tired of this story and decided to just shut it down? Half score for half story. 2atars

It needs another page detailing the fallout and them finding out about the medication. The tapering off with Luke and the fact the family gets burned. It needs more.

I remember the original and I liked it, I also like this take on it. Reminds me of the saying, you can pick your friends, but not your family.

Well written, I just need to know what happened to the family after the divorce. I’m sure they didn’t fair well and the daughter ended up divorced.

Yes, it really lacks the conclusion with the "family" Damn even the son ? Just he should have stood nevertheless most likely on the side of the father

The main character was really far too soft here.

The actions of the wife make the couple irreconcilable. There should have been none of the "If you don't stop I'll divorce you" nonsense. He should simply have been divorcing her, not waiting to see if she continued her liaisons with Luke.

The improper legal actions of the family to have him declared incompetent and then arrested involved swearing to false information and should have resulted in the wife and children being prosecuted.

Things are too rushed. The idea of the doctor prescribing huge doses of ACE inhibitors is super unlikely as it would involve major medical malpractice and plethora of lawsuits. The letter is too contrived.

Bit over the top with the family's reaction. And, I'm sure he would've consulted his doctor about his impotence, and found out soon enough. Thing is, if he had done that, maybe the marriage would have continued without Luke. D

I commend you for taking a shot with a sequel, but it's hard to fix something that was fundamentally broken to start. I know these story are fiction, but when the plot flow and character development varies too widely from the readers world view, it loses its traction trying to draw us in. Too many bizarre scenes for me to buy in. 3.4*

Where is the retribution? All this abuse and nothing?

I have 3 stars as it ended abruptly. There is more to be said. Make a chapter two please.

Good backbone, but it fizzled out at the end.

I enjoyed the story but you are too good a writer to leave it with a stilted ending like this. Four stars five with a better end.

It ain’t over till it’s over! Needed another page or so…

I liked the protection order (I have seen this very very occasionally in a LW story) though it was not used here to its full impact I feel…

Too bad it ended.. Felt like a couple more pages with life after divorce would've wrapped this up but ended abruptly

Thanks, I don't like it.

This added absolutely nothing to the original. I would even go so far as to claim that, compared with the original, it is a decline in quality. All you did was paint the family in an even worse light but made the overall story so utterly fantastical that I can only see this as a thought experiment.

I mean, seriously, where's the conclusion!? What happened to the family that broke, like, a dozen laws? What happened to the doctor who, apparently, overdosed his patient on blood pressure medication because the wife demanded it? What happened to all their lawyers who went along with this?

This is so unsatisfying...

It was a great beginning, but the ending felt very incomplete. I urge the writer to expand the ending out to detail life for the wife and daughter after the divorce.

Could've used a little more at the end there.

Like the revelation that throughout their marriage he'd long been making sacrifices while she pretty much just took, I know that he figured it out but I really wanted to read Josie's reaction to that accusation. His relationship with the kids who definitely tried to keep him imprisoned to his wife also merited a follow up. We also only have his guess that Josie's recommendations to the doctor for the increased dosage was for his health, what if she actually intended for him to remain impotent all along? Like she grew tired of sex with him by the time of the heart attack and during his recovery was made aware of the side effects, didn't know for sure what was gonna happen but also didn't ask questions cuz she had a boy toy all ready to go.

What StoneyWebb said.

I liked the story. I felt it left the reader hanging a bit at the end. From his children's actions to the divorce going through was too quick. But it was still a good read.4 stars

Good story but ended to quickly.

Bravo! I'd love to see a sequel to see how the bitch ex wife fares without her husband. Awesome read.

Started well but went downhill towards the end. End was too abrupt and a lot of threads were left loose.

Conversation between the husband, wife and his horrible family was needed.

Retribution was needed.

Sadly incomplete.

Needs a rewrite.

farcical melodrama.

Medications fucked with, offspring offering opinions...c'mon.

For what?

Nice follow up.

Agree with Mighty Heart and others of that ilk. Loose Ends.

3*

Decent followup but too many loose ends, as others pointed out.

He spoiled his wife and his daughter and should not have been so devastated by their disregard for his feelings. The selfish bitches would have gladly imprisoned him to gain control of his money and impose their will. He was dam lucky to escape, sadly in this version, the bitches will get a huge chunk of his money.

Okay, but you rushed the ending by not including what happened to his ex-wife and family, what the division of assets was more exciting and fun-filled facts and figures. Plus, there was no punishment for his family or Luke and there should have been a LOT of punishment.

That'si it?.... ?A bunch of legal maneuverings to solve the whole crisis of what's going on with the wife and the family.

Almost didn't make it through the introduction but pretty good story if a little over the top.

Nice alternative but original was awesome.

5 stars

This story badly needs an editor. I only gave it a 2.

All that and then it just ends? Did he re-write his will, did he ever talk to them again? What about the grandkids? You had a 5 star story going but the lack of an ending knocked it back to a 3.

Sorry but the whole thing felt rushed and incomplete...not even close to the original. The hypocrisy angle was good but it didnt factor in really at all.

5*. This was a much better conclusion than the original story. What happened to the shitty family is irrelevant. Josie insisted on the heavy dose of drugs that caused the ED; she deserves to have her replacement enjoy the fruits of the prescription adjustment. Well-written and we’ll done. Thanks for the alternate conclusion.

Ed

Very abrupt ending, there was another page in there at least. Why did Kristine keep becoming Kristen? Luke needed and deserved punishment, painful punishment mainly to his cock and balls. In the original the MC owns the company, had sold it and was quite wealthy, why in this version does he have boss? Not bad, oils have been a lot better.

That was pointless

Sorry, this is just way too improbable.

Whoa, Topspot101, what happened to result in that abrupt ending? The story is clearly far from finished. Did you lose interest in it? Were you taken ill? Was your internet access curtailed? Will you complete the story or may another author do so if they wish?

I gave a 4*

but I felt the ending was done in a rush.

boy I can't believe how absolutely dense his family are...

no wonder he would dumped them aside, except for the grandkids.

thanks Topspot101

I'm not picking on you as I see this frequently. Please include a link when referencing stories written by others. In this case go here.

https://www.literotica.com/s/independence-day-2007

I found this to be a bit far-fetched but still entertaining. I'll go check out your other submissions.

Thanks for sharing your time, talent, and effort.

It was great until the abrupt ending.

You needed to detail the aftermath of the divorce, with the effect it had on the cheating wife, as well as the relationship between him and the kids.

You have to like this type of story.

Somewhat improbable in places but an enjoyable romp. Four stars.

I liked your story, but that ending was way, way too fast. It looked like you ran out of ideas and just finished the tale abruptly, like chopping off a dogs tail. Most unsatisfactory.

Cost you points bigtime. A 4/5 tale became a 2/5 quickly and deservedly so.

Better luck next time.

Did luke hang around with the old slut? And again she gets the house!

Another chapter would have been good - 5 stars though.

Kind of absurd - both medically and legally.

Need more to this

think Josie used the high dose so he would get ED and could use it as a excuse to F around

The ending was a bit like a door slamming shut. This was a good read and there are certainly families where one parent uses children (even adult ones) to control and dominate the other. I was surprised that he didn’t bring his wife up on charges or that he trusted his doctor after the doctor allowed his wife to influence the dosage of his medications. Side effects for most meds are known and it would appear she wanted him impotent to have an excuse to cheat.

The end of the story is the ending for him with respect to his family. He has nothing more to do with them. Period.

He doesn't care what they may or may not suffer. He doesn't care to know the rest of their story, so it doesn't tell it.

If you want to hear about their problems from the divorce, about revenge and retribution and their suffering, open up your word processor and let your imagination flow.

Too quick an ending with no consequences, especially for the children.

Ur ending sucked…that dragged an otherwise good story to average

Would have been a 5 but the ending was too abrupt. Kids and cheating skank slut need to get theirs.

Why start a story if you aren't going to finish it?

Big guy33 wrote a compelling story. The family siding with Josie made for an interesting angle.

I have read it many times. Thanks for your interpretation of how the story might end.

... I thought the children in the original story were disrespectful, but the ones here??? Geezus!

It stopped being about a simple divorce to Kirsten halfway through, IMHO, and became what should have been the MC's separation from his whole family, since everybody in it clearly doesn't give a damn about him.

If there's a major problem with this work, it's that the author never made it clear that his MC walked away fully from his old life, leaving everyone that tried to hurt him behind. Seriously, I cared way less about him getting his boner back than about him not having to deal with any of these people for the rest of his life.

So that ending is just... mediocre, at best. Which ultimately brings down the story as a whole. Better luck next time, I guess...

There are questions that go unresolved. leo’s wife called and apologized after the intervention, what made Leo go after the main character to attempt to physically force him to go back to Josie? Did the main character take any legal actions against his children to protect himself?

A dramatic build up was fun to read but the rushed ending ruins the story.

Not too bad. But it ended WAY too abruptly.

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Didn’t make sense that he was on too high a BP medicine that HIS WIFE directed to be on. Where was his own doctor? Why did tne new doctor seem to be the first one he’d seen in forever?

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As delusional as tne wife was, the kids, and especially Kristine, were abhorrent.

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No consequences for wife and kids cost a ⭐️.

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Bottom line — 3 ***

Firstly, well done for attempting to continue/finish someone else's story. It's never easy. However, there were too many inconsistencies to be realistic. We have Ray, who has no trouble driving a car and even working in an office job, wanting to live in an Assisted Facility because he can't cook nor wash laundry and clean. Yet he packs up his things and carries his suitcases of effects, no trouble. Why was he so incompetent that he couldn't cook and clean and wash laundry. I presume he didn't have to take it to a river and beat the clothes against rocks?

Sadly, I have personal experience of having multiple heart attacks and having medication that has caused ED.

But Ray isn't a cripple and neither am I.

I did notice that Kristine's name kept changing and that was irritating. How old was Ray that he had friends in the Care Facility as well? Were they all in their 50's... or 70's. In which case he would already have been retired. No one would just give away his 50% of the family home. So many of the details are ridiculous.

I couldn't cook, clean nor wash my clothes

But why?

Yes I’d also like to read a follow up.

Interesting in that the wife wanted the husband to rem at on faithful while she could or wouldn’t see to his needs but wouldn’t do the same.

Worse that all his family turned against him and disregarded the hypocrisy. I think in reality most of the make family members would have supported him or at least a couple. He made valid points on they ending ior in the same boat.

Having been married, having kids there is times a wife doesn’t want sex, husband had to do without. I had it after birth of daughter, also has wife got into menopause sex was off the table. You make do and sacrifice, I’m still going strong as I approach sixty bit wife’s libido isn’t there.

Be shot to think if I did find myself struggling to perform she’d then grab a not someone to ‘fill’ the need.

That’s why this story raised emotions

I would have given this 3*. But the lack of decent stories over the last several weeks in the Loving Wives category, get you +1*

A very rushed ending that left more questions as to what happen to the family. Good story until the abrupt ending.

Not bad. The ending needed to be drawn out some to expand some on the fallout from the families various immoral/illegal actions.

Enjoyed it, but the believability factor was low. Could his kids be this one sided and abusive? Even his son?? Nobody takes his side? Nobody stands up and says, "Wait a minute- sex with a younger person isn't a need, it's a want."

Great read. It hit close to home as Ive actually seen a similiar situation play out with my Uncle.

A part 2 telling the results of what happens to the family with out the Patriach would be awesome

I agree with overconfidentsarcasm

Great version, thank you. I would like to see some retribution and karma.

Excellent take on the original

A nice take on the story. Well written and paced. I gave it 5 stars. I really liked the judge's decision on the POA the kids filed. It's about time (even if it's fiction) for a family to be taught respect. DMW aka

Well said

Yeah, a nice ending, but so unrealistic on many levels. All the malfeasance by lawyers and doctors; someone would be losing a license or at least be sanctioned in some way. Judges have NO patience or sense of humor with malfeasance.

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The best part of the story never appeared; the author choosing to end it abruptly. Dealing with the family after their threats and shenanigans failed to accomplish anything is the confrontation we wanted to see.

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Why do so many writers always coddle the cheating wife, as if she's still an angel that needs to be protected and rewarded? Why give her the house since she's the one who cheated and caused the divorce? She, and the children, are horrible people! Sell the house, leave her with the bare minimum law will allow, and get on with your life. Why didn't he throw charges of adultery into the mix? Rounded up to 4 stars.

Awful.

A great version but it does need a fuller ending.

So promising but fell apart at the end .

Poor rewrite. Nothing like BG33’s original story. Three stars ⭐️ at best.

Good story well written. Thanks for writing.

Started out strong, but ending was poor and weak.

Too many holes that needed to be filled. The way the kids acted and your lack of an explanation for it, along with other holes earned 2 stars.

Much improved ending over the original story though I, like others would have enjoyed your carrying the story further. All in all a good read..