All Comments on 'Infestor'

A good start, and definitely needs a second chapter at least. My only criticism is that your words are stilted and don't flow as well as they could.

Where did the creature take a matter to increase its mass after penetrating Sara? Matter cannot emerge out of nowhere, can it?..

The taint is the strip of skin between the vagina/ballsack and the anus. It doesn't pucker and it is not a synonym for anus.

Anonymous wrote: Where did the creature take a matter to increase its mass after penetrating Sara? Matter cannot emerge out of nowhere, can it?..

Do you not remember it pumping Sara's breasts of milk? And, also, it's fake! And quite possibly an alien! Who cares?!

I'm so sorry that you not only put this in the wrong section (I'd recommend sci-fi or nonhuman), but I'm also sorry that any of this drivel gets you off. It was poorly written, had no clear research, and is in more than one way physically impossible.

Please get an editor and do us all the favor of never putting us through this again.

Ignore the haters, you only get better at writing by writing.

That said, entering the brain through the ears involves penetrating the ear drums, which is extremely painful, and then drilling through bone and flesh. You need to explain that or explain it away. Consider a rewrite where the thing infiltrated her nervous system. It’s already inside her.

Enjoyed the story. Has some weaknesses but it has good bones. I'm joyous that you didn't take a long time to set the story up. So many authors take a full post to set up before they get to the sex. Well done there. Other people have already commented on the physical issues but I think the emotional issues are more important. One weakness of new authors is that they write a list of actions: this happens, then this happens, then this happens; boring. Focus more on the emotional impact and internal experience of the character. For example, why didn't she go to the hospital after being attacked and invaded? Most people wouldn't just go home and Google "anal worm attack" lol. How many women would find a giant slimy worm "cute"? Think about these. Who is this woman and why does she respond the way she does?

I always love stories where women are infested by some kind of parasite and transformed. It’s nice to see this genre expand.

The biggest feedback I would give is to add greater emotional depth and exploration to your characters. Set up tension where your character tries to resist giving into the creature within and ultimately fails, corrupting her friends in the process. Show her horrified and confused when first infested.

There are few logistic things to deal with as well. The worm starting off as 10 feet long makes it he’d suspend disbelief as it seems unlikely something so large could fit in an adult woman.

Good start and looking forward to more!

I hope you continue writing, I just wanted to offer some constructive criticism. It feels rushed and written by someone with no concept of how the human body works. I'm not saying that to be mean, I hope you'll keep at it and next time do some research. A couple of examples, it's very painful when something pierces your ear drum.Another this is the anal bit. Like.. first off, a foreign body entering the anus is likely to cause stretching if not tearing, and that's assuming it's at an ideal angle and with lube. Second, anything lodging itself up there is going to compact and block the intestines' natural function. Nothing about that sounds orgasmic to me, it sounds painful. Ya continue a lot like that and I stopped after the ears bit.

Again I do hope you continue to write, there's just room for improvement. A parasite doesn't want to shock it's host's body into rejection, and if it's causing extreme pain there's a good chance the body will fight back. Would suggest if you continue to write about parasites, investigate them. :)

You have a lot of potential, keep writing! This kink doesn't have enough content so you're doing a great job, and improving comes from writing more and more

Keen to read your next work!

I gave it 5-stars. Good story, please continue it. The plot is well written and character development is excellent. Ward Master 91D70

Well written, aside for some minor grammar and syntax errors. Needs sequels, maybe multiple

pls continue on next parts

Keep going! Great material! This is my favorite type of worm/egg scenario, but of course the human body being finite, we know all of the places things are gonna end up. You can draw out the steps of the process and go into more detail on the way. And as another commenter mentioned, tell it more from the character point of view. Don't give out the best award to the first contestant. And keep a few more realistic parameters in mind like the ear drums, sensations of the bladder, etc. Great work though, don't hesitate to make revisions and perfect a single piece so you know what you can attain.

excellent arousing and exciting

Dude, fucking incredible. Please continue

Liked the story. Wish it would be continued.