It Only Took Twenty Years Pt. 05

"When you came out, I asked you if you were alright and you started calling me a dumb-fuck and a bunch of other particularly choice names in front of my friends and a few of our coworkers. It was far from a younger-you rant. You were visibly upset. You really meant it. I decided that you were simply drunk off your ass and probably wouldn't remember it the next day, so I never brought it up."

"Oh. The Y2K party?"

"Yeah."

"God. Jeez. Just … Oh, god, Will." Her voice quavered. She squeezed me tight. "Can I please try to explain?"

"Sure, if you want."

I wasn't upset. She was correct that I hadn't forgotten the incident, but I actually had put it behind me. I did, though, realize she was disturbed by the recollection, and that concerned me.

"Something really, really bad had just happened a few months earlier. You and I … well, you know … I had no clue what was going on with us. You said something at the party that sort of scared me, and I didn't know how to react. I definitely wasn't myself. Please, forgive me?"

I looked into her eyes. "I'll never say it again." I tickled her in her ribs to try to ease the tension. She didn't like that.

"Will, please. Don't joke. I embarrassed and wounded you, didn't I."

"Yeah. You did," I stated honestly.

The truth was, I couldn't remember what I'd said to her, and as intoxicated as she had to have been, I was surprised she remembered any specifics, which made me more curious.

"I'm sorry. Will, please forgive me. I am so sorry ."

"I forgave you a long time ago, sweetheart. Really. But I know I must have seriously pissed you off to get you cranked up like that, and I'm just curious what I did to earn your fury."

"It wasn't your fault. I mean, what you said freaked me out, but when I looked back on it a while later, I knew it was totally innocent. It was completely my own poor behavior blowing it out of proportion."

I thought hard. Sure, it was ages ago, so my memory wasn't perfect. I couldn't remember even talking to Dawn that night. I remembered her being standoffish and distant for a good part of that year. She certainly wasn't herself, and I hadn't pried.

"What did I say that had that sort of effect on you?" I finally asked.

"I'm not sure if I want to dredge it up and talk about that part."

"That's your prerogative, but it seems like it's bothering you more even now than it ever bothered me. I'd like for you to get it out in the open when you're ready."

She sat up and faced me with crossed legs. She looked off into space for a while. She held her lower lip between her teeth. I saw her eyes beginning to moisten.

"Devo? You okay?"

She looked at me blankly. "I had just had a miscarriage."