It Took Nothing Away From You

I thought about it. It was just like Bridgit to think things through before she promised, even more now.

"Okay, I accept that." I said to her. "One more thing, in order to for me to trust you, I want you to quit your job."

"Kurt," Mary said. "Can I interject?"

I looked at her, I didn't know what she was thinking, but I nodded.

"Do you have a dog?"

I looked at her, confused as to why she was asking such a strange question.

"Ah ... yes."

"Is it an indoor or an outdoor dog?"

"She's mainly an indoor dog, but of course we let her out occasionally."

"So, you just let her out to roam?"

"No, into our back yard."

"Is the backyard fenced?"

"Yeah. What does this have to do with anything?"

"Humor me. Why is your backyard fenced?"

"So, she doesn't run away." I said.

"So, you don't trust her to stay around. So, in actuality you trust the fence to keep her at home."

I nodded slowly.

"Demanding her to quit her job is saying you don't trust her not to run away."

I sighed, yeah I guess it was. "Okay, then I'm going with her to Chicago for her meetings."

"So, now you want to put a leash on her, just like your dog."

I slumped. I knew I had to decide whether to take the chance. What kind of a relationship would we have if I had to have my eyes on her 24/7, or track her whereabouts with her phone, or hire a PI to follow her.

"Kurt, I love you. Ever since I met you, I knew. I will love you forever. Please, let's get past this. Don't give up on us." She was pleading, tears in her eyes.

Damn it! I hated her for what she had done to us, but I knew I loved her also. My boss's words started running through my mind. "Don't give up on your marriage just to turn around and try to find someone just like her."

So, I didn't give up. That night I went back to the motel, to grab my stuff, not to stay. I went back home for good.

We continued to go to the counselor. She worked with me on my trust issues. She worked with Bridgit on boundaries, and being able to make good choices, even if those involved promises made. She also worked with both of us to strengthen our relationship.

I stopped the divorce. I had decided that I was committed to this relationship.

Over the next few weeks we talked more than we had in years. In the counseling sessions I learned of the other things on Bridgit's relationship list. There were a lot of similar ones to mine, but two that I hadn't thought of. One was showing affection, both verbally and physically, but not just in the bedroom. The other was quality time, date nights, of course, but also when we were together in a room we were together, a physical and emotional bond.

That night, when I came back from the motel, Bridgit was waiting for me in a sexy negligee'. Of course I was horny, it had been weeks and my hand just wasn't cutting it. However, when I pulled out the box of condoms, she about tore my head off. I told her, "It's either these or we wait until you get the test results back, you choose." Thankfully she said yes.

A week later the results came back negative and we made love for a marathon session that night. We soon were back to 5 times a week and between our effort and the counseling sessions we strengthened our marriage.

Bridgit did end up quitting her job, but not right away. At the next quarterly meeting, Gary was not there, he had indeed quit. Liz, even though she knew he had lied that night, was giving him another chance. She had him on a very short leash.

Because Gary was not there some of the other Area Reps and even some of the office personnel were hitting on her. They figured she was open to it because of what she had going on with Gary. She told me about it when she came back. I told her she should talk to Human Resources. She said that she couldn't because she was sure it was a human resources person who had sent me the email. If she tried to go for sexual harassment the affair would be brought up, and she didn't want that following her. She quit shortly after, getting a job as a sales rep for a local company.

Going forward we continued to work on our relationship. There were times when I would get melancholy, thinking about what had occurred. When she noticed these times, Bridgit would say something to the effect of, "Kurt, you always had my love. It didn't take anything away from you."

As time went by the melancholy times became fewer and fewer and farther and farther apart. Our life had returned to normal. I loved her and the kids, and I knew she loved me also,

It would be great to be able to end the story right there. However, about 8 or 9 years after the event that almost destroyed my marriage, things started to change. Bridgit and I were in our late 40's now, and as will happen over time our lovemaking frequency had dwindled. A lot of that was due to the onset of menopause. Bridgit just didn't have the drive that she had had for so long in our marriage.

At first I was worried that maybe, just maybe, she was cheating on me again. You know what they say, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." I started investigating; checking her phone for unknown calls or texts, watching her times leaving and coming home from work, watching to see if her wardrobe was getting sexier. You know the drill. I even went as far as to put a locator app on her phone.

There was nothing. I found nothing. So one day I asked her. "Bridgit, is everything okay?'"

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Between us?"

"Yes, Kurt, I love you now, just like I have always loved you. Why?"

"Well, we just seem to not be connecting like we used to."

She looked at me. I swear the woman could read my mind. "This is about sex, isn't it?"

I hemmed and hawed and finally said, "Yes. We used to do it all the time, now I'm lucky if we do it once a week."

"Kurt, you know we're not twenty anymore. My body is going through changes. I just don't have the desire like I used to."

There it was, the dreaded change. My life would never be the same. We talked about it and while I wasn't happy I had to acquiesced to not pressuring her and she promised me every Saturday night, unless one of us was sick. The times we did it became more obligatory than orgasmic.

Our life moved into more of a routine. We would work during the day and watch T.V. at night. Saturday night became "date night" and I would get that obligatory sex.

When the football season started we made a deal. We would watch her "reality" shows on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, and watch my football on Monday and Thursday. That worked until one Thursday there was a "reality" show on that she just had to watch.

"Kurt, can I watch my "reality" show?"

"Honey," I said, "You know that Thursday is football night."

"Yeah, but this is a special night. Please?" She pleaded.

I sighed. "Okay, you can watch it. I'll just go down to Bear Creek and watch the game there." I said, not wanting to argue with her. Bear Creek is a sports bar in town.

So, I started spending Thursday nights at the sports bar. One Thursday night the game was a blow out, so I started watching hockey. I was really getting into it and the Predators were doing great.

That next week, on Monday night I was sitting down to watch the game when Bridgit came in and said, "Can we watch my shows?"

"It's Monday night, football night."

"Wouldn't it be better to watch at the bar with the other fans?" She asked.

"So you would rather I watch at the bar than be here watching with you?"

"You'd enjoy it more and that way I could watch more of my shows."

She was right, I would enjoy it more. While I enjoyed spending time with Bridgit, she wasn't really into football.

So I got up, kissed her goodbye and went back to Bear Creek. I sat splitting my time between the football game and the hockey game.

When Thursday came I didn't even bother sitting down to watch the game. Around 8:00 I said, "I'm going to go down to Bear Creek and grab a beer and watch the games."

She said, "Okay, have a good time."

I think she was happy that I wasn't going to be around pestering her, making her watch football.

One Monday I was watching and I heard a familiar voice say, "Hey, Kurt, it's nice to see someone I know hang out here? Can I watch the game with you?"

"Sure, have a seat."

It was Terry from work. We talked as we watched the games.

That night, when I went home, Bridgit asked me how watching the game went. "Good, in fact, Terry from work saw me watching and came over and watched with me. We talked, booed the refs, and cheer on our team. It was a good time."

"That's great that you had someone to watch the games with." She said.

We started watching the games together every Monday and Thursday nights.

So that became our new routine. I would come home, eat dinner, watch T.V., and on Mondays and Thursdays around 8:00 I'd say, "I'm going to grab a beer and watch the games."

In June our company had its 30^th anniversary party. We hadn't had a party since our 20^th so there were a lot of new faces, so we all had name tags on. It wasn't a fancy affair, but we were having hors d'oeuvres, and wine, as well as dancing. I was now the Director of Operations so I was mingling with all the employees and their families. That is where this story came in. I was grabbing a glass of wine and a drink for Bridgit and I, when I turned around and saw my wife talking to Terry. I made a beeline to where they were standing. As I was approaching I heard my wife, looking at Terry's nametag say, "Theresa ... how do you pronounce your last name?"

"Most people call me Terry, and its Abier, like, I'm going to grab a beer."

Bridgit turned and saw me, that's when she hauled off and slapped me, hard!"

Four months later, sitting in Mary's office, I was going through it again, for like the 8^th time. "Terry and I started watching the games together at Bear Creek, every Monday and Thursday. After a few weeks Terry said, 'Why are we sitting here paying high prices for this beer. Thursday why don't you grab a 6 pack and we watch the game at my place?' Terry's daughter had left for college that August and the reason she was going to Bear Creek was she was lonely sitting in her house all by herself. She lost her husband 5 years ago in a car accident and had spent all of her nonworking time raising her daughter through her teen years. One of the things she missed about her husband was spending time with him watching sports, they both enjoyed it. She felt if she was watching the games at the bar with other people it would take away her loneliness. Then she saw me, someone she knew, and we started watching the games together."

"So she was out at a bar looking for a piece." Bridgit stated.

"No, she just wanted someone to talk to and watch the games with. Well, we started watching the games at her house. No, we didn't start having sex right away. About a month after we started watching the games at her place, she came out of the bathroom and said, 'Kurt, can I ask a favor?' At the time I thought maybe her toilet was plugged or her sink was clogged and needed me to fix it. So I said, 'Sure, is your toilet plugged?'

'No, this is a bigger favor.' She said.

Well, she had just needed a new transmission in her car, so I thought maybe she needed some cash to make the ends meet. I said to her, 'Sure, if it is something that I can do, I will.' Then she told me of her loneliness and that she had foregone any relationships while her daughter needed her through the teen years. What she wanted was to feel human touch again. No strings attached, no commitment, no expectations, just human touch."

"Bridgit, you know I love you. It took nothing away from you. I was just helping her. It was something that I could do to help her. Search your heart, you know I love you, have always loved you since I first laid eyes on you. You know I love you and the kids more than anything in life. You have to know that. I'm sorry that I've hurt you. I have never not given you my all. Other than those few months we had those problems, have you ever felt that I didn't love you?"

"After all the problems we went through, you chose to turn around and cheat on me? How could you?" Bridgit asked.

"Bridgit, it took nothing from you." I repeated.

"You cheated on me for 6 months!" She accused.

"It was two times a week, for 6 months. Figure that out. Twice a week times 4 times a month times 6 months, that's about 48 times. You spent 2 years, twice a day, I bet, times 3 days times 4 times a year for 2 years, that's about 48 times." I replied accusing her. "Seems we are now even."

"So that's why you did it, to get back at me? I thought we had worked through that. I thought you had forgiven me!"

"No. Just like you, I was trying to help someone in a way that I knew I could. Your justifications came back to me, I was helping her and it took nothing away from you. I was always there for you. The time I spent away from you, at your insistence, took nothing away from you."

Then Mary cut in, "Bridgit, Kurt, we've been through this many times in the last few months. What we need to do now is move past this. You've done it before, I know you can do it again. You two love each other. That is evident in the fact that you haven't given up. Kurt, I need you to understand that you are sorry to Bridgit for cheating on her. And Bridgit, you likewise have to understand that you're sorry for cheating on Kurt. You two, both of you, have said you're sorry for hurting each other, but not for actually doing what you've done. Until you both are sorry and understand that what you did was wrong, not just the hurt caused by it, you will never get past this. I have some homework for you, I want you each to go home and sometime this week you are to do something to show your love for the other. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture, but it needs to show the depth of your love."

We left the office together, our relationship was strained. We both knew we loved each other, but the hurt was still there.

That week I showed Bridgit my love for her by sending her roses every day, and Friday I brought her a diamond tennis bracelet. Of course, she loved it all, and she even showed her appreciation by cooking my favorites and showing me affection (nonsexual) every night. Then on Saturday night, when I walked into the bedroom, I noticed a new decoration on the wall above our bed. I don't know where she got it, probably Amazon, or Pinterest, or maybe Etsy, but it looked nice and expressed her love.

That night we made love like we hadn't in years. After an evening of good lovemaking you'd think I would have slept like a baby. However, it was a fitful sleep. Something was bothering me. In a dream I saw a plaque on a wall that read, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." In the morning I woke and looked up at the decoration on the wall. It was a plaque that had a quote from our weddings vows. It read, 'To Love, Honor, and Cherish, till Death do us Part."

I think Monday I am going to cancel my life insurance.