It was a Dark and Stormy Redux

"You do not mind ze 'substance'?" she asked. When I shook my head 'no' she added, "you are like your uncle!" She looked thoughtful for a moment, then went on.

"Twice a year," she told me, "in zis case during ze Allhallowtide triduum of All Saints Eve, All Saints Day and All Souls Day, I can become corporeal again. And experience all ze sensations, boon and bane, of my mortal life. I can feel ze pain of injury as well as ze pleasure of an orgasm or a good meal. But I must 'ave a trigger... a catalyst. Solomon was my catalyst for many years. Now, it seems, you are as well."

"And very good at it, by ze way," she chuckled. "And you are young. You should 'ave excellent recovery time. At all ozzer times, save my Death Day, I am ze apparition you expect. Ze non-corporeal entity which can feel emotion but not physical pleasure or pain. It is part of what drives most ghosts crazy wiz 'atred for ze living. Solomon discovered zat I am not so bad when I am getting laid."

There was a blinding flash of lightning and an immediate boom of thunder that rocked the frail house. I'd been so enthralled with fucking this ghost, I'd completely forgotten about the storm.

"God, I hope that lets up by morning," I muttered. "And I'm still alive..."

"You will be alive, Mike Edwards," she smiled as she lay against my chest, becoming more and more "real" as we talked. "But why must ze storm stop?"

"Because it's going to be a long walk to town as it is," I told her. "I don't fancy strolling through a thunderstorm."

"Why would you not use your vehicle?" she asked as she started rocking again, massaging my semi-erect cock still sheathed in her.

"Because it's dead," I told her. "No offense intended."

"Oh..." If a ghost could look embarrassed, she looked embarrassed.

"Oh, what?"

"Oh, I zink zat is my fault," she told me. "I can fix zat."

"You can fix my car?" This was just getting weirder and weirder. Not to mention that she had my cock back up to full erection just by milking me with her cunt.

"It is self-defense," she explained in an apologetic sort of tone. "If you 'ad not been zomeone I could trust to protect me and my land, you would 'ave been left to ze elements. You have proven resourceful and a wonderful paramour... why do you need to go to town?"

"You would have killed me?" I was still stuck on left to the elements.

"No," she answered. "But you might 'ave died from exposure before you figured out in which direction ze town lay." That was not comforting. "Why do you need to go to town?"

"I have a meeting with a bunch of lawyers on Monday to go over my inheritance and sign whatever papers I need to sign, and probably find a real estate agent..."

I suddenly felt her get a lot more solid and clamp down on my cock with pussy muscles that threatened to shear it off.

"And why would you need an agent of real estate?..." she asked with suspicion dripping from her voice. I realized that suggesting selling the place was now off the table.

"To get an appraisal?" I offered. "To know what the place is worth for insurance and taxes?" The look she was giving me said she didn't believe me and she was not letting go of my cock. "Seriously. I was thinking of selling the place, until I found out about you." She eased up a little bit, but not bloody much.

"And now?..." she drawled.

"I'm um... starting to see why Uncle Sol liked this place so much, even though it's pretty run down..."

I was hoping I had some kind of Silver-tongued Devil in me to get me out of her crosshairs. Being at the angry end of a ghost didn't seem like a good idea, at all.

"It iz only run down, az you say," she started in on me, almost indignantly, "because Solomon became too frail to work ze land, and ze tenants he tried to 'ire all ran off. Anyone willing to do zome work could put it to rights in no time. And before you object, funding would not be an issue."

I hadn't even gotten that far in my thinking, but she certainly had. My head was starting to spin with options. And with what she might have meant by funding would not be an issue.

"Uh, Countess?" I asked, realizing she was still very solidly across and around me. "What do I need to do to get you to let go of me?" Her grin was unnerving.

"Fuck your way out, mon jeune baiseur," she told me. I kind of had to figure out what she meant on my own.

Okay, so I had no idea what a ghost having an orgasm would be like. The first two had been pretty much like a human woman. A very, very intense human woman, true, but still a woman. The last three, she pulled out all the stops.

She already had me hard with her rocking pussy massage thing before she indicated I needed to fuck my way out of her. When her cunt stopped gripping me like she was going to pop a balloon with it, I was able to start stroking. She was, to put it mildly, simply awesome. Above and beyond the cool, slick, exciting feel of her more-and-more real body, she started doing something that made my body tingle all over. Literally tingle, like a mild electrical shock playing out through my muscles. I was jerking and twitching from it, but the effect it had on my cock and balls was intensely different.

It made me feel like I was swelling up, way beyond anything that would have been "normal" for me. When she finally went over the next time, I felt like one of those "Bug Out Bob" squeeze toys... you know, like when you squeeze it and the eyes and ears and mouth all pop out all googly-like? One of those, like some sort of pressure grenade had gone off inside me. And it forced an ejaculation from me. I'm not sure if it should count as an orgasm, since it felt like all of a sudden all the built up jizz in me exploded out into her. Like, gallons worth. Or at least, that's how it felt.

I was just barely recovering my senses from that one when she started going into her next one. I was still hard. Rock hard. I'd take the time to be amazed at it later. It started to sink into me what she meant by fucking myself loose, so I started pounding away with all the strength I had left. That's when the "plugged into a wall socket" effect took over. Again.

I felt like a human vibrator strapped to a fucking machine. Like a paint mixer on steroids. I swear I was buzzing as I pounded away like a jackhammer. And that was apparently exactly what she wanted. It didn't take long...

"MON DIEU! TU ME FAIS JOUIR SI FORT!!! MON DIEUUUUUUU...!!!"

Well, it sounded like I was doing something right. She sure as hell was clamped down on me hard enough. I must have been concrete, because I barely felt her massive convulsions on my cock. A cock which was not going to stop fucking her until I broke loose or she let go, or both. A cock which was headed for an amazing fourth orgasm. I would have said impossible, but I was starting to believe that this post-mortem nebulous apparition could do whatever she bloody well wanted with me, possible or not.

Everything pulled up and my vision blacked out, except for a bunch of twinkling lights in my eyeballs, and then I exploded. I don't remember very well, but I think both of us were howling into the night, and the only think that kept us from sounding like a couple of animals dying a very painful death was the roar of the thunderstorm outside.

When I did get some semblance of sanity back, I realized I had actually managed to extract my cock from her vise-like pussy, although we were very much wrapped up in each other's arms. Since I wasn't clamped to her anymore, I got a wild hair to go down on her. I figured if she liked cumming, it couldn't hurt. Much.

So I slid down her body, to between her legs, before her now very real, pale, human woman's body could react, and attached myself to her pussy like a lamprey. With about the same intent. I started sucking and licking and fingering and doing anything I could think of to drive her crazy -- admittedly without thinking about what the intersection of "crazy" and "ghost" might mean.

"OH MON DIEU! TU ME LE FAIS ENCORE! TU VAS ME FAIRE EXPLOSER!!!"

She came on my mouth and my hands and I felt like I'd gotten sucked into a vortex. Everything was swirling and I was getting dizzy while her pussy hammered away at me. Physiology went out the window -- I felt like I was getting turned inside out... sucked into her nethers like a return to the womb.

I passed out.

When I regained consciousness, the world was significantly different.

It was still, and white, and warm, and soft... pretty much everything it hadn't been when I was dealing with the Countess and the storm. When I went to move, I felt like I'd been stuffed inside a marshmallow. That's when I realized that I sort of was. The Countess was wrapped completely around me. I have absolutely no idea how. But it was like being inside an amazingly comfortable sleeping bag.

Go back to sleep, I heard her voice in my head. We will sort everything out in the morning...

I let go of any idea of regaining my sanity and did as I was told.

* * * * *

When I did finally wake up again, the heavy part of the storm had passed. Jacquie, as I was coming to think of the Countess, was now lying next to me, not around me, and we were both snuggled under the bedding I'd appropriated from the cedar chest. The fire was low but not out and I could hear the slight drizzle of the remaining rain. I moved a bit and when I did, she stirred as well.

I realized last night hadn't been a dream and part of me wanted to panic. I was sleeping with a ghost, for Christ's sake! She must have felt me starting to freak out. She stood up.

Rock solid, move the blankets out of the way, stood up. She was gorgeous! Solid white, yes, but gorgeous. Even better than the marble statue of the Callipygian Aphrodite, because this one moved in very human ways. Every curve, every feature, every everything was perfect. She stepped out of the bedding and stood beside it.

"You will probably want to use ze commode," she told me, and I agreed. I went to pull on some sweatpants and realized that morning wood or not, something was definitely different. As in, I was a lot longer than I remembered. I wrote it off to just being incredibly excited by a gorgeous ghost. I was standing there pissing into the bowl when my stomach rumbled and I realized I had to figure out something for breakfast. I also realized I was probably going to have to do the soup thing again, although if Jacquie would release my car she was holding hostage, I could drive into town for groceries.

I went back out to find out she'd stoked up the fire.

"It is zo good to be able to feel," she told me as she turned to look at me. "And I must zank you for last night... you were very, very good for me."

"Once I got over being scared shitless, it was definitely my pleasure," I told her. I moved over to sit down beside her. "If you can physically feel, do you feel hungry?"

"A bit," she acknowledged, "but not like you. I do not require sustenance, so I do not feel hunger as deeply as you, but I do feel cravings for zings like sweets, or tea, or other foods zat were favorites in my living life."

"Well, I'm starving," I told her, "so if you could let go of my car, I could go to town and get some groceries. And anything you would like in particular."

"Merci... zat is very gracious of you," she smiled, "and I am certainly willing to 'release' your car. 'owever, you should know zat Solomon maintained contingency supplies in a concealed bunker which you 'ave now inherited. Zere is a cache of food and clean water, if you wish."

"A bunker?" What the hell was Uncle Sol into? I thought. Some kind of Prepper left over from the Cold War?

"Oui, l'abri," she nodded. "A refuge. A bunker is what 'e called it. I can show you."

"Please," I told her. "And then I'd like to go get some breakfast." She just smiled and walked out the door into the drizzle, beautifully naked and white and severely distracting. And it wasn't lost on me that she was walking, not floating. The ground depressed beneath her footsteps. I grabbed my jacket and hat and followed.

She led me to the barn that had the tractor in it. When I joined her, she walked around to the back, to an old manure spreader. She gestured towards it and it rolled forward, revealing a piece of wood decking that had a big iron ring attached to it. Another gesture and the ring rose, lifting the trapdoor it was connected to. I could see a ladderwell extending down into the ground beneath the barn.

"I assure you, ze ladder is safe," she told me. So I decided what the hell? and started down. When I got to the bottom, there was a light switch on the wall, so I flipped it. And was amazed. Fluorescent lights flickered on in a long concrete tunnel.

"Do you remember ze time when your President confronted ze Russians and zer missiles zey put in Cuba?" Jacquie asked as she stepped up next to me.

"Not really," I told her. "My Dad might remember it, vaguely. Way before my time, though."

"Well, Solomon had zis place built as a retreat in case some-zing went wrong," she told me.

"So it's a bomb shelter."

"Uh... oui?" she answered. "And he kept it provisioned wiz all sorts of zings. But I believe you were looking for food."

"Yes, actually," I admitted, trying to get my brain focused and back on track.

"Zen follow me..."

She led me through two heavy doors, like oversized fire doors, to a compact suite of rooms. By my quick calculations, there was sleeping space for twelve people, a kitchen and dining-room combination, a general living space, storage for food and water, a library and mini-hospital, storage for tools and such, tanks of oxygen and a bunch of other stuff. The food locker, though, is what Jacquie wanted me to look at.

"Ze sooner we are fed, ze sooner you can fuck my brains out," she informed me. I guess that pretty much summed up her priorities. A lot of the stuff was canned or vacuum sealed, or dried and sealed, including a bunch of surplus MRE's. I sorted through a bunch of it and came up with enough stuff for several meals, including breakfast. On the way back, she stopped us at my car.

"Try it," she told me and I did. It turned over easily and fired up within a couple of seconds.

"You should now be able to make your meeting," she informed me. "I am 'oping you will make ze same decision Sol did and retain ze property, and consequently, me. You are a virile young man and I 'ope to have a long and pleasurable relationship wiz you."

"Okay, two questions," I told her as we went inside and I started putting breakfast together. "You said the other time you can manifest corporeally was your Death Day. When, exactly, is that? And what do you do about your libido the rest of the year?"

"Ironically, I was poisoned ze night of April 30^th to May 1^st," she answered. "Walpurgisnacht, for any who care. As far as my libido..." She paused and looked off, as if seeing something distant in her mind's eye.

"I suppose ze easiest way to put it is, I suffer," she finally told me.

"Suffer how?" I admit, I was feeling nosey. Especially since I had just had one of the most awesome sexual experiences of my life.

"I mentioned before zat I can only manifest corporeally twice a year," she explained and she sounded sad. "Zat does not mean ze emotions disappear. If anything, I feel lust more acutely." She paused and looked at me for a long moment. "How much do you know about spirit possession?"

"Like in The Exorcist?"

She shook her head in disapproval and remarked, "it is not like ze moving pictures... it is a lot more... complicated."

I laid two plates of breakfast out and poured juice and coffee. She moved over to sit at the table and actually eat.

"Mmmm," she moaned in pleasure. "C'est très magnifique! Merci!" Conversation was suspended while I watched her inhale her breakfast.

"There's more," I offered. I hadn't even sat down, yet.

"Jeśli ci się podoba," she said as she offered me her plate.

"You know, you're all over the map with your language," I told her. "I can follow most of it, or infer, but you really do drift in and out of languages I don't know. You can even use telepathy. You're amazing."

"And you are not running for ze hills, scared out of your mind," she answered. "I find zat refreshingly odd. But I zuppose it could be expected of a relative of Solomon's. I am sorry to inconvenience you. After more zan two-and-a-quarter centuries, I zuppose I've become a bit unhinged."

"I wouldn't use the word unhinged," I told her. "More like fluid." I turned to fill her plate and was suddenly surrounded by a cloud. A cloud of her, billowing up around me and caressing me in an incredibly sensual way. She was teasing me and I was responding.

"I meant fluid as in shifting personalities," I told her with a smile as I put the refilled plate down.

But is this not fun? she asked in my head.

"Of course it's fun," I told her. "That's one reason I'm not running for the hills." I sat down to my plate and started to eat. "Now, about this possession thing..." I felt her withdrawing from my mind as she congealed back into her womanly form, sitting across from me. Her sigh was palpable.

"When ze emotions become too much," she explained slowly as she ate, "I can possess ze bodies of living creatures, substituting my consciousness and will for zeirs, in order to 'ave ze physical release zat 'as kept me from going insane and becoming like ze ghosts of your folklore. I 'ave 'ad sex as a rabbit... as a squirrel... my favorite non-'umans are 'orses and wolves... but I 'ave also been known to possess a 'uman. In my defense, I do not force zem to do anyzing zey would not normally do, although zey have little memory of ze time when I am in control.

"Opportunities for human interactions over ze years 'ave been very limited," she went on, "since I am metaphysically bound to ze land and its owner. My unavenged death 'as created a very strong bond between my essence and ze 'ome where I was murdered. Elizabeth is around 'ere somewhere, too, although she tends to stay near ze granary."

"Elizabeth? Granary?" I was confused.

"Elizabeth Adelstone, my 'usband's young paramour, and ze granary where I caught my 'usband buried to ze 'ilt in 'er admittedly attractive azzets. I am surprised she 'as not shown 'erself, since zis is 'er time to be corporeal, also."

"There is another ghost? Your husband killed both of you?"

"Essentially," Jacquie nodded and turned her attention back to her plate. "A 'alf-year's wait... you certainly did well wiz breakfast, Mike Edwards. Longer, zince Solomon 'as not been around. Will you be 'ere Walpurgisnacht?"

"I'm not sure," I told her and she looked up, studying my face. "Not for lack of wanting to..." I hurried to amend. "I just don't know what all this will mean to my job and other things in my life..."

"Is that breakfast I smell?" Another voice, definitely not the Countess', came from the door behind me.

I froze. Jacquie, on the other hand, beamed. "Lizzie!" she called over. "Come in! Come share in zis scrumptious breakfast our new owner 'as made!"

Our new owner? I was the owner of a couple of ghosts? WTF? I turned to look.

Oh. My. God. Another beautiful, naked, white ghost, this one young, early twenties at best, and built like... well, I don't know what an appropriate simile would be. She was of medium height, like Jacquie, but she was bustier, and her hair flowed almost to her knees. She appeared shy... don't ask me how I figured that. My Inner Horndog came charging to the fore.

"Please, come in and have some breakfast," I told her. "My name is Mike Edwards and I've inherited this place from my Uncle Sol. The Countess has been filling me in on the history of this place and of the two of you. Please... come on in."