It was a Dark and Stormy Redux

She slowly moved into the room and up next to Jacquie, looking between her plate and me.

"I am Elizabeth Adelstone, sir," she addressed me and tried to curtsey. It actually looked rather awesome when done naked. "Or rather, I am the ghost of she, as I am sure m'Lady has told you."

"I am pleased to meet you, Elizabeth, and you do not need to be deferential to me. Please sit. I will have a plate for you momentarily." I turned my back on the two of them and focused on getting a plate of food for "Lizzie" while my heart was pounding in my ears and part of me wanted to freak out. Thank goodness Jacquie had broken me in first. I don't think I would have survived meeting both of them at the same time.

I got her food to her and she got over her shyness enough to chow down, making the same satisfied sounds Jacquie had made. After that, I got her side of the story.

She was, at the time of her death, a scullery maid for the household and the Count's favorite fuck toy. Those aren't her words... I'm abbreviating here. She was 18 years old to best of her knowledge, plus or minus a year or two. She was illiterate at the time and a simple country girl. The Count liked to take her out behind the granary and pound the hell out of her. Each time he would give her a Spanish silver real, or piece of eight, which in those days was quite a lot. She had been saving the money, hoping to accumulate enough of a dowry that she could attract a successful husband.

Since her death, she and the Countess had gone through several stages in their relationship, from anger and hatred, through indifference, and finally ending up friends. The Countess had helped her learn to read and to some degree to write. Since they both shared the same Death Day, they often would spend their corporeal time together. When not having a human male available for sex, they would do each other.

You cannot possibly imagine the kinds of scenarios my very fertile imagination was conjuring up. I was so fascinated with their story and my imaginings, I didn't realize how hard I was or how badly I was tenting my sweats. Elizabeth was noticing, though, and she kept nudging Jacquie and nodding towards me in a not-so-subtle attempt to point the Countess' attention towards my groin. Jacquie finally had enough.

"I know, dear," she told her ghostly friend. "Yes, 'e is well endowed and knows 'ow to use it. 'e is also masterful wiz 'is tongue. If you simply asked, I am fairly certain 'e would -- what is ze phrase? -- fuck your brains out..."

Did you know a ghost could blush? I didn't. I also didn't know that for post-mortem nebulous apparitions, it meant they got whiter, not red. No blood, see? I found all that out later. Elizabeth got whiter.

"Is that what you would like, Lizzie?" I asked, oblivious to her embarrassment. "Do you want me to fuck your brains out?" Elizabeth got even whiter. It was Jacquie who had to point out she was embarrassed.

"You don't need to be," I told her. "From what I can tell, you got the shitty end of the stick and I'm sorry for that. I didn't do it, and I can't undo it, but I can try and help you be more comfortable. Where I'm at right now, I'll pretty much do whatever the Countess tells me to do."

"Come wiz me," Jacquie told Lizzie, standing up and offering her hand. Lizzie rose, took Jacquie's hand and let herself be drawn over to the space in front of the fireplace where the bedding was. They had both reached the stage where they were opaque but completely white. Just different shades or intensities.

"Lie down, dear," Jacquie told Lizzie, "and show M'sieur Edwards your razzer attractive azzets."

Lizzie did precisely what the Countess told her to do. She lay down, leaned back and spread her legs. Jesus H. Bald-headed Frog! No wonder the Count liked boffing her! I thought. Smooth trim thighs framed an amazing pussy. I thought Jacquie was beautiful. Lizzie was perfection. Her labia were slightly swollen on either side of her vestibule, her clit standing out from under its hood about the size of the tip of my little finger, and she was glistening with whitish-clear lubrication. Below, her cute little rosebud puckered up in a most inviting way.

"M'sieur?" Jacquie turned to me. "Do you not think zat such beauty should be appreciated?"

This was an open invitation and I was going to take it. This totally unreal sex was turning out to be the best I'd ever had.

I sank to my knees and moved forward, between Lizzie's thighs. Not completely sure how this corporeal thing worked, I tentatively reached out a hand to try to stroke her thighs. She was human-solid, though still milky white and satiny smooth. And cool. Not cold, like Jacquie had been at first, but still cool to the touch. I took a breath, eased down, and got instantaneous feedback.

"Oh, MY!!! Sir..." she moaned as I licked her from anus to clit. "OH, MMMM..." She fell quiet and grabbed my ears as I continued to lick and suck. Then she began to moan, louder and louder as she rocked me against her. She tasted sweet, and as soon as I'd started licking her, her clit ballooned up, easily twice its original size and twice as sensitive, too. I hadn't even gotten a finger into her before she went over the first time. The first of many.

"Oh, SIR!" she virtually exploded. "I'm fetching!... I'm fetching!... I'm... OH MY LORD!!! OHHHH MYYYY LO... OOHHHHHHHHH..." She went off into a sort of a howl... a long, drawn out cry of pleasure that completely riveted me. She nearly drowned me in her ghostly essence as it flooded from her while she came.

"That," Jacquie calmly observed, "iz how I found zem... by ze sound."

"Hard to miss," I smiled as I came up off Lizzie's cunny while she came down a little. Until I inserted a couple of fingers and started in again, that is.

"Oh, Sir! Oh!" she sort of squealed. "Oh!" She didn't have much else to say, so I buried my fingers and went back down on her, sucking her engorged clit deep into my mouth and battering it with my tongue.

I'm not sure how to spell all the moaning and groaning that came forth, but she was definitely vocal as she ramped back up to a couple more very intense orgasms. And almost drowned me again. She was incredibly explosive with her juices when she went over, and it was that cool, almost half-and-half kind of spray -- a massive turn-on, actually.

"Quite the wet one, iz she not?" the Countess beamed as I took a break and lifted my face -- now drenched and dripping with Lizzie's fem-cum.

"God, I'll say!" was my less than eloquent reply. "Very sweet, and a hell of a lot of it!"

"Please, sir..." Lizzie moaned from beneath me. "Please..." I looked over to Jacquie to get some kind of clue what Lizzie was asking.

"La baiser, m'sieur," she smiled at me. To my confused look, she added, "fuck her."

I'm only occasionally stupid. Of course, this was one of those times. I turned my attention back to the incredibly beautiful ghost beneath me and pulled off my sweats. Lizzie's eyes went wide as I got firmly planted on my knees and drew her up to my straining erection, pulling her onto my thighs as I lined up on her amazing cunny. She was light and easy to move around and smiling as I drew her to me. The smile disappeared into an eyes-closed "O" face as I impaled her, as deep as I could. Which was definitely longer than normal and which I also guess was more than enough.

"Oh! Yes! Sir!... Thank you, Sir!" she moaned as I pushed in. She wrapped those gorgeous thighs up over my back as I leaned forward onto my elbows, holding her under her shoulders. The better for pushing. I hadn't thought about what the devious Countess might be up to...

"Aieee!!!..." That was me, discovering something being inserted in my ass.

"OH! MY LORD!!!" That was Lizzie, going cross-eyed when most of my sizable schlong got unceremoniously buried about as deep in her cunny as it could go. And then some, trying to get away from said ass insertion. I think I might have gotten my balls in.

"What The...??? Oh, FUCK!!!" That was me, again, as the Countess, who had manifested a fairly hefty dick, completely buried it up my ass and stroked away. And made me cum. Hard.

"Oh..." the Countess exclaimed with a whole lot of imp thrown in. "I am zorry... iz zat too big?"

I'm not sure how to spell the gurgle that escaped my lips as I started down from the cosmic explosion and she slowly withdrew her appendage. I'd never had a cock up my butt, let alone cum from it. And the really weird thing? It didn't burn... it felt cool and numbing, like she'd used Novocain or something.

"Oh, Countess..." I barely heard Lizzie moan beneath me, "you are right. He is sooo wonderful..." I looked down between us and saw some of my jism leaking back out.

"Can you stiffen his sword, m'lady?" she asked after a moment. "As you did with Master Grundy?"

"Certainly, my dear," the Countess smiled and suddenly my deflating cock was re-inflating. And I never get hard again that fast after cumming. It definitely had to be her Ladyship doing it. I wasn't very aware, at that moment, of exactly what that implied.

"Oh, that is so nice!" Lizzie exclaimed as I stiffened while still in her. And damn! She felt incredible...

As a testament to how my mind was being warped in their direction, I had to wonder what all the fuss was about, regarding hot, wet pussies. Cool was turning out to be just fine, thank you very much. And maybe because of the novelty, or maybe because of something supernatural, but I was feeling tingly in every cell of my body and it was excruciatingly exciting. So much so, that I was back to fucking Lizzie in very short order. That is when the Countess did her next strange bit... she straddled Lizzie's face in front of me, offering a tit to suckle while Lizzie ate her out.

Remember that ghost milk that was like a vanilla shake? Yeah, well now it was more like a piña colada... with the inherent high that goes with it. I was getting loopy, nursing from a ghost. Beneath me, Lizzie eased off Jacquie's cunt and sighed.

"That is one thing I regret," she told my quizzical look. "I never had children and do not have milk. The Countess' is so wonderful, I wish I had my own."

"Are there hormones in the afterlife?" I asked. "Because you could induce lactation, maybe." I know... a really dumb question. But that was me -- I could be really obtuse sometimes.

"Non, mon amant," Jacquie told me softly and somewhat indulgently. "We exist as we were when we died. It would appear zat we boz liked to sleep sans vêtements. I have ze milk because I was still nursing my youngest. I take it zat you like it?"

"Like isn't the word," I murmured. "I'm getting stoned out of my gourd, but it isn't fucking up my fucking... I hope."

"Stoned?" the Countess queried. "Gourd? I assure you, M'sieur, no one is zrowing rocks at you, and you zertainly are not in zome zort of vegetable. In fact, I believe she is a razzer delightful delicacy."

"Inebriated," Lizzie spoke up. "Master Sol would sometimes say he was 'stoned' when he was drunk."

"And 'gourd' is like your head, where your brain is," I added. "So 'stoned out of my gourd' is drunk out of my mind." I was going to say more, but a certain Point of No Return showed up unexpectedly.

"Oh, Fuck!" I managed to moan. "Gonna... gonna... oh, fuck! Cumming!!!" For the second time, I filled Lizzie up to overflowing.

"Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh..." Lizzie crunched down on me. I guess my orgasm tripped over hers. We spent some time thrashing against each other before we were able to calm down.

"You zeem to be enjoying yourself as well as your Uncle Solomon did," the Countess beamed at me. "I 'ope we are convincing you zat zere are advantages to keeping ze land and cooperating wiz us..."

I was ready to wholeheartedly capitulate... except something was nagging at me from somewhere behind the cloud of euphoria. I finally figured out what it was.

"Um..." I managed to get out, "uh... you feel absolutely wonderful. You both do. But, um... what happens after Allhallowtide? When you go back to being incorporeal... does that mean I'm going to have to cope with two post-mortem nebulous apparitions that are frustrated and angry? And maybe taking it out on me?..." I paused as I watched my words sink in. "Um... just asking..." I ended lamely.

The Countess and Lizzie looked at each other for several moments before the Countess turned to me.

"Do you, perchance, enjoy ze sex wiz animals, M'sieur Edwards?" she asked. "Sheep?... Wolves?..."

"What??? No! No, definitely not! I'm not into that bestiality stuff, at all... I definitely prefer humans..."

"Hmmm..." Lizzie murmured. "That will make it more difficult."

"Make what more difficult?" I was being forgetful and getting confused.

"Having sex, of course," Lizzie looked at me thoughtfully. And yes, ghosts can look thoughtful.

"Do you remember when I told you about ze spirit possession?" the Countess asked. "Zat when ze emotions become too much, I can possess ze bodies of living creatures, substituting my consciousness and will for zeirs? I told you zat I 'ave 'ad sex as a rabbit and squirrel, and my favorites are 'orses and wolves? But I also told you I 'ave been known to possess a 'uman. If you are not interested in animals, M'sieur, we would need to find a suitable human. Few venture out here, ozzer zan ze occasional hunter. Do you object to sex wiz a man?"

"Sex with a... man?" I managed to answer. "Sorry... don't think I'm interested in that one, either..."

"Beatrice?" Lizzie asked the Countess, hopefully.

"Mais non," she replied, shaking her head. "If M'sieur Edwards is not interested is ze animals, I do not zink he will be interested in a child... even if she iz a very precocious thirteen..."

"A thirteen-year-old?" I gulped. "Uh..."

"A very cute blonde thirteen-year-old, and very amorous," the Countess nodded. "She lives on a farm nearby. She can be quite charming."

"Uh, no. No. Not interested in underage, either, thank you very much," I hurried to point out. "Um... does this mean I'm screwed?" Not the best choice of words.

"Not unless we find an acceptable companion," Lizzie told me. "There are not many adult women who visit the area. Although..." She drifted off into thought and I could almost see the wheels turning.

"Ahhh!" the Countess nodded sagely to Lizzie then turned again to me. "Would ze woman need to be alive, M'sieur? Could a corpse suffice?"

"A corpse???" This was just getting way too weird. "Like a zombie???"

"In a manner of speaking," the Countess nodded. "Zere is a cemetery just down ze hill..."

"No. Oh, no! No, no, no... not a corpse. Living, breathing, human female would be just fine, thank you."

Both nebulous post-mortem apparitions sighed and I felt a strong chill pass through me.

"I suppose we could take turns using him," Lizzie suggested, but without a lot of enthusiasm.

"Oui, zat could provide our outlet," Jacquie nodded. "But not quite zo zatisfactory as enjoying him from ze outzide..."

Somehow, masturbating with a ghost inside didn't seem all that thrilling to me, either.

"Perhaps, M'sieur, Lizzie and I should take zome time to zink on zis..." Jacquie decided. "We may come up wiz ze solution which is good for all..."

"In the meantime, Master Edwards," Lizzie offered very seductively, "perhaps you would like some more 'otherworldly' pleasure?" She was still beneath me and I was still buried in her. And amazingly, still half-hard or better. It became a lot more 'better' when she started grinding against me.

"Oh, fuuuuuuckkkk..." I moaned as I came all the way back up again.

"Lizzie, dear," the Countess interjected. "Do you not zink it may be my turn?"

"Oh! I am so sorry, my Lady!" Lizzie exclaimed as she pushed me up with inhuman strength and moved out from under me. The Countess was under me and I was impaled in her before I knew it.

"Zat iz much better!" she smiled and began rocking against me. I was marginally aware of Lizzie hovering nearby, watching. Then realized she really was hovering... about two feet off the ground and watching the intersection of my cock and Jacquie's cunt as we pounded away. That was a little disconcerting!

"My lady," Lizzie drawled after watching for awhile, "mayhap we could rearrange ourselves to permit more participation?"

Now, I don't know that these two had a routine worked out... but at times, it sure seemed like it.

"Mais, oui!" the Countess agreed, and all of a sudden I was rolled over, on my back, with her astride me and we hadn't even uncoupled, as far as I could tell. She was riding me from her knees, but sitting up enough that Lizzie could move over my not-for-long unoccupied mouth. Remember those piña coladas? Man! was I getting stoned, and Lizzie's awesome pussy juice was cranking me out of my mind.

I suddenly felt myself swelling up to another orgasm and she didn't stop. Neither one of them did. I blew my third load deep in the Countess and when I got back to rational thought, gave up questioning why I wasn't going down. Apparently, tumescent wasn't in their vocabulary.

They kept tag-teaming me like that, one fucking me, the other sitting on my face. I did the best I could, and way beyond what any mere mortal should have been able to do, but come on!... I am, really, only human. I know it was an inelegant end, but... after more than half a dozen cosmic level orgasms, I passed out.

* * * * *

When I came to, I was aware of three things: I was back in my pile of bedding, the drizzle had stopped and both Jacquie and Lizzie were sitting at the table, talking in low tones. I rolled over, stretched and moaned. The moan was because stretching made me realize I was sore in places I didn't know I had.

"Young Master Edwards is awake," the Countess commented, loud enough for me to hear. "Would you invite him over, Lizzie?"

Lizzie rose from the table and drifted my direction, her absolutely perfect -- albeit, white -- breasts, belly, hips, pussy... hell, all of her absolutely perfectness... drifting with her. I was hard before she got to me.

"Master Edwards," she smiled to me, and the parts of me that weren't outrageously hard started to melt, "a nuncheon is prepared, if you wish. My Lady would like you to join us."

"Thanks, Lizzie," I told her. "As soon as I remember how to move, I will."

She must have taken me literally, because I felt myself getting lighter, and actually floating up out of the bedding. For a guy who isn't used to floating, it was scary, believe me. I fought down the panic as I was floated in the direction of the table and then found myself deposited there, across from the Countess. I noticed there was a spread of cheese and crackers, and some kind of sausage that had been sliced, plus a carafe of clear liquid -- I presumed water -- and a bottle of wine.

"Welcome back, M'sieur Edwards," the Countess nodded at me with a smile. "We 'ave prepared a zimple meal from ze fare of Solomon's. Ze sausage iz venizon, ze cheese iz a mild cheddar, and we 'ave eizer red wine or water, if you wish."

"Um, thank you, Countess," I answered as I checked out that I was, in fact, back on old terra firma and felt as heavy as I used to feel, pre-floating. I took a cup from the table and poured wine into it. I was going to need it. Cracker, cheese and venison got stacked up into snacks for munching, washed down with the wine. Both Lizzie, who sat beside me, and the Countess across from me seemed amused at my procedure.