It's a Brand Nude Day! 2023

"It's completely okay, Frank. I feel strange sometimes meeting new people too." Boy, did that ease my trip.

"That's great to hear," I said. May I start with a totally dumb question? Would that be okay?"

"Sure, Frank, lay it on me."

"Do you ever watch sports?

"Yeah...."

"How do you choose which team you want to root for?" Home town, home state, color of jersey, what?"

"Frank, I think I read your mind from a previous conversation you had with someone else. I don't especially like being patronized either." Huh, how did she do that? I wondered. Arianna leaned into the theme. "What difference does it make? Who cares why I support one team over the other? We're not making any money off it, why should we give a shit?"

This woman nailed it, I thought. I decided then that I too did not support any particular sports team. I was pretty into watching golf, though I thought, thinking of times with Leslie, and was still a big fan of Rory McElroy, come what may.

"All right, uh, your turn," I said at last.

"Thank you Frank. Here's my question to you, "Do you like young, attractive women?"

Oh, here we go again. "My favorite flavor! File under 'duh' to the nth degree, does that make sense?"

"Oh Frank, it makes perfect sense. I was just confirming what I had already suspected."

"Is this where you send me a suggestive selfie, or are you going to wait to the end of the session?"

"What? You've received hot selfies from the other attendees?"

I was mum. But I did roll my eyes and waved my head back and forth in seeming affirmation.

"I wasn't planning on it, then. But if you might like one...."

"Do you mind if I stare at you right now, Arianna? In a sexual way?"

Arianna wasn't sure how to respond, I gauged. Then she said, "you like these?" holding her breasts up in her hands. "How about this?" she followed up, showing me her mound through the table.

I was dumbfounded. I locked up. I took a deep breath, holding it for just a moment, then allowed it to slide on out.

"That would be a yes, I gather," Arianna said.

I had no idea where to steer the conversation. "What movies do you like?" I suggested lamely.

"I'm so glad you asked. So many really. Classic Americana, of course. More recently? Did you ever see 'Safety Not Guaranteed?" I nodded, it was a favorite, even though I had only seen it once. "How about 'Twilight'?"

"Ah, no, but K-stew is pretty, and a pretty good actor in some things. Did you ever see that lesbian thing in the Alps, or wherever, forget the name...."

Arianna smiled. She had found a niche. "Yes, she is pretty hot, and can carry a lead, in my opinion." For some reason, I was thinking about the clock, despite how we seemed to be getting on.

"What are you doing after this," I asked her.

"So you're going to ask me out? How manly!" I know a gibe when I heard one, usually.

"You know what, please just forget I asked." I didn't want to be locked into anything now that thought about it.

"Are you sure?" Arianna had a mirthful expression.

"Yeah, no," I answered, not quite resolutely. "I meant it might have been premature."

At that, Arianna grinned so broadly I felt like I might be the butt of some excellent prank. "Please keep me in mind," she said, plainly. "A lot of men are premature some times."

I was at a crossroads. "You bet." I was anticipating the chime, but it was still a minute away or so.

"Let's share text numbers." Here we go again, I thought, dutifully fishing out my phone once again. I hoped none of these women were shedding viruses or anything. My phone would be so contaminated. I did not know any of them at all before today, and didn't know anything more that might ultimately matter.

I did like that they wanted to share contact information even before the formal time chime -- it made me feel a little better about myself as potentially desirable, as far-fetched as that may have been. And I realized I was grateful to Leslie for dragging me here.

The tone of the chime rang out. I was relieved. I was wiped out emotionally and therefore physically, the mind-body connection working overtime. At least Arianna hadn't already sent me a nudie pic, as much as I might have wanted to add it to my collection.

>>=(||##|||)>

I stood up slowly, and half staggered to the fifth seat. It was Leslie. She was beatific. She positively glowed and she looked at me so kindly, I almost fell for her on the spot before realization struck. I didn't know her much more that the other speed-dater women. But, still.

My phone dinged. Gosh dang it, it was a text from Arianna. I looked to find yet another naked hot chick pic attachment. I supposed I ought not complain. I allowed a smile to myself.

"Hola Paco, como va la Guerra?" Leslie asked, too cute by half. Fuck. I guess I did have a kind of a thing for Leslie. Paco, ha. What a card she was, the ace of hearts and queen of s'mores rolled into one.

"Siempre es muy mal, sabe que digo?" My Spanish sucked, but I didn't care. We both chuckled. "Listen, I know I was pussy-man level reluctant to come here with you today, and I kind of feel run through the wringer, but, and this is an important but, I am so glad you made me come along. Thank you."

"Aww-uhh!" Leslie made that sound women sometimes make when they think something is absolutely adorable or they're touched by some nice thing you did or said. "You are quite welcome my dear, I am truly happy to have you along," she said gaily. I almost went, 'aww-uhh' myself. My phone chose that moment to ding again. I looked, of course. It was a great shot of Mary shooting by on speed skates. Completely nude. Thighs and ass were outstanding.

I composed myself again. "And now is the time for all good men and women to share something about themselves." It was like I suddenly was the emcee here.

"Okay Paco, what do you do for a living?" At least this conversation should be sane and boring, I thought. It was strange, though, that the subject had never come up between us before.

I decided to just play it straight; I had the sense that humorous asides here would be pointless. "Yes. Well, I'm basically an office manager at an engineering firm. I'm not an engineer myself. Pays the bills I guess....Keeps me in house dresses." Fine, I couldn't resist at least one joke.

I continued. "Kind of a mix of herding slugs and herding stampeding elephants, depending on the day or hour. QA, invoicing, things like that. And like I said, I do all right but I'm certainly not getting rich. I suppose I'll be able to save money on clothes once I'm a full nudist." Another poor joke, but factually true. "You?"

"I used to work in an environmental law office. As a junior attorney, I was basically the focus of all manner of shit getting dumped on me. The pay was good, the hours were overwhelming. I learned a lot and even helped a few people. But you know? By the time I got home every night it was all I could do to just collapse into bed, tears optional. At least I was able to save some money though, because I wasn't spending any to go do anything."

"Fortunately, one day it turned out that I had come into some money, and I quit my position. I'm not sure what I would have done if that had not happened - I was getting to the end of my rope. Anyway I was old and smart enough by then that I didn't just go out and blow it all like some young nouveau trust-funder. Now I volunteer working on projects similar to what I used to do, but it's a lot more hands-on, maybe more effective, and I'm usually feeling pretty joyful instead of dreadful. Plus, it gives me a lot more time to work in my garden and whatever else strikes my fancy," she concluded with an enigmatic smile.

"And going nude," I pointed out, taking in the full measure of her beauty. Again. No more furtive glances for me. "Sounds like you make out all right!" I stared into the depths of her eyes. "So then, when are you taking me out to dinner?"

That broke her up. No one expects the needy yet sincere request. I joined her in an uncontrollable fit of the giggles. Always be prepared to laugh at your own jokes I figured; you may be the only one sometimes.

Leslie collected herself, and with a quick sigh of "Whew," got back to the job at hand. "What do you like to spend time at when not herding whatever?"

"You mean besides cross-dressing on special occasions and going on nudie hikes? I like to fish quite a bit. It's a great opportunity to get out and enjoy nature, up in the mountains or on the ocean. You get the chance to reflect on things or think about nothing at all, or if the fish are really on the bite, experience some red hot action. Uh, and this is a little embarrassing, I'm trying to learn to write fiction. I'm not too good at it."

"Speaking of red hot action, are you seeing anybody? Did you meet anyone today you liked?" Leslie delivered both barrels. Fortunately my emotional armor was still intact, so I acted like those questions were as inconsequential as they might sound. I'm trying to write too, Leslie added, as if burnishing her resume.

Before I could make the inevitable non-committal response, my phone dinged again. Then four more times. They were all texts from the other nude speed-dating women. There were no photos included this time, only some versions of "Well?" and/or "What's going on over there?" I thought it was a little rude to be initiating text conversations during the actual nude speed-dating session, not to mention the senders seeming a little needy themselves, sincere or not. I turned off my phone. Leslie made one of those little frowny smiles, almost like she was impressed with my manners.

"Actually, not really, I mean, I'm not sure," I said, hedging my answer to both questions. I certainly was liking Leslie more and more, but still uncertain about pursuing anything with her. Even the other women, attractive to a one, also had other good points, even if a couple seemed a bit on the weird side. Like that should scare me.

"I just need to think about it," I added, perhaps blatantly attempting to buy some time. "What about you, I don't see a string of Romeos galumphing in and out of your place. And what was your assessment of the horse flesh you met today?"

The chime sounded then, session complete. Leslie had a funny look - I wasn't sure if she was put off by what I'd said or just thinking things over herself. She slowly took her phone, pressed the home key and slid it across the plexiglass table to me, beckoning a trade. I turned my phone back on and handed it over.

"Maybe unlock it first," she said.

"I don't keep it locked," I countered.

We entered our contact information and swapped back. I gave myself the name 'Paco'. Leslie noticed when she took her phone back, and proffered a slight smile.

"You know what Paco? You look like you've gotten all you're gonna get out of this, we should head back home. Truth be told, I'm kinda done too. Let's hit it."

>>=(||##|||)>

I couldn't have been happier. We walked to the lockers, donned our outfits, found each other, locked arms, and strolled back out into the heat, which was now raging. It was obviously hot as fuck in the car, but Leslie cranked the windows down for a moment to flush the interior, cranked the A/C, and burned rubber out the driveway. I felt a wee bit scared. It was very nice.

"Maybe you should respond to those texts you got. I heard your phone go off a bunch of times."

"Mm, maybe later," I answered. I like being with you, preferably with no distractions."

Leslie didn't go 'aww-uh' again. But she said something telling. "I rather like you too, Frank, what should we do about it?"

I was a little floored. I hadn't expected Leslie to say she liked me. Plus, she had called me by my given name, for the first time ever. I needed, though, to find out if she was seeing anyone.

"I like you too, Leslie, apologies for not talking to you more in the past. Not much of a conversationalist. I do have a left over question from the speed dating sesh, though. "Are you, um, seeing anyone, or, um, looking to?"

Leslie straightened in her seat, which gave her a moment to think over her response in addition to letting the cooled air to chill her back for a moment. "I.... I date occasionally, but I'm not fixed on exactly what I'm really hoping to find." She sounded entirely honest in her self-assessment.

Leslie rushed through a late yellow light. Yeah, that was scary too I thought. I grinned at her, fool that I am. Leslie perceived my emotional response, but did an excellent job of ignoring it. It dawned on me that my case of the 'likes' was heating up.

"What are you going to do about the women you met at the nude speed dating session? They all sent you nudie pics, right?"

I didn't have a ready answer. I figured I'd give them each a call to see if they had second thoughts or something. Then, based on that, decide to ask them out to dinner at a swanky place or breakfast at my place. Well, first things first, meaning swanky dinner establishment. I was struck by how honest Leslie was being, and so I told her more or less the same thing.

"Good luck speedy," she said. "In the mean time I'll find a good golf game we should watch when you come sorrowfully home. Maybe women's golf. You can explore your latent lesbianism." All heart, that woman.

We pulled up into Leslie's driveway. She stopped her car in front of the garage. We looked at one another.

"Wanna come in? We can either hang inside in the A/C, or sit in my kiddie pool outside in the shade."

"You bet, Leslie, either sounds great. Can we get nude again together?"

"I thought you'd never ask. Not really kidding, either. I had hoped and was actually betting on it."

Leslie was staring at me, expectantly. I figured out what her expression meant and shed all my clothing. Leslie followed suit.

"Is it okay to stare at you now?" I asked.

"It was always okay."

I stared. Leslie looked just as good as I remembered. Well, after all, I had seen her nude less than an hour ago. Leslie didn't seem to mind; in fact she sidled around me sexily. "You know that you like it," she growled.

I sure did. Like was too soft a word. But then, I sort of derailed proceedings.

"You said you were writing fiction?"

"Yes," she said hesitantly. I, uh, how do I explain this, I, uh, wrote a story about National Nude Day for an erotic fiction website. It was for a contest," she explained.

"Did you win?" I asked. She shook her head but smiled at the same time.

"I just do it to bring some fun into my life."

"I'm writing one too! I started it, and am going to finish it later, you know, documenting my experience, and of course it's too late to submit for the contest."

"That's pretty dang funny!" Leslie replied "It's the same website, I'm sure. I'm on-time, you're delinquent, but we both have our own reasons for it! We should read each other's story!"

I pulled Leslie in for a kiss. She demurred for a moment. "Hey," she said, "Maybe we should close the curtains. Not everything needs to be on display...."