All Comments on 'Jake and Noel: Innocent Beginnings'

Good start.......

What a find! Great start!

A good beginning to what will hopefully be a longer story. Perhaps moved a little too quickly, (only just met her and already letting her lock up his clothes and agreeing to be her slave), but certainly the basics are there for an interesting story.

Would prefer to see future chapters take a more gradual/measured approach myself, i.e. letting things build up over a period of days/weeks for the two characters. In my view, the most erotic stories are those that are the most realistic. In other words, those which you can quite easily imagine are happening, or could happen, in real life.

Unless of course you're just aiming for a stroke story; in which case it would probably be best to just concentrate on the 'hot and heavy' aspects of the sex acts (or perhaps domination acts in the case of this story).

At the moment, I think this story probably sits somewhere in between the two.

I can't understand the comment made below by the anonymous poster ("and Jake never returned")...

Even if you ignore the fact that Jake describes Noel as "gorgeous" - not everyone is attracted to skinny girls after all - at that age, most boys will (almost) take whatever they can get(!)...and if he's submissive too then she sounds like she could well be a perfect match for him.

Looking forward to the next chapter. Think it will be an important one in terms of how this story develops.

jb X. TC

First comment, I was aiming for a good middle ground between just wanting to get off by reading this and actually caring about the reality of the circumstances between the two characters. I was fortunate enough to get involved in two relationships similar to Jakes when I was in college. One of them almost did happen that fast! Reality will be very important to me in the future chapters but I also don't want this to drone on and on about their normal lives if you know what I mean. Thanks for reading.

Very good beginning. Definitely want to see where this will go. Needs an editor to polish it off. I came close to losing interest and quitting the story when trying to get through the mistakes.

To see the beauty in this relationship .