James & Mrs. Evans Ch. 05

James & Mrs. Evans 05

"Cari, ugh, Mrs. Evans, I mean?"

"James, I'm doing my best with everyone in the house, I mean, it's getting tough, but don't worry, I know your balls are most certainly piping over, so I'm working it James, I mean, I'm working for us."

"Well, you just don't understand how hard it is for a guy to walk around when he's not getting it more regular and all, not that you didn't pull a fair amount out me last night and all, but listen, Danny, ugh, I mean "he" is going to spend a few hours with Gina and your sister Wendy is hitting the bottle, so."

"Well, don't forget about me being stuck in the kitchen and my other sister prancing around her in damn "youthful" undies and all, but listen babe, if you're feeling weighed down, I mean, go lay down for a minute, just keep your head off of my sister Wendy's shoulder if she's tipping the bottle and all, so."

"Alright, but are you positive that you can't stroke me off with one hand and stir the gravy with the other hand the same time, Mrs. Evans?"

"OMG, men! Men and their need for double duty in the kitchen all the time. Go baby, I promise that we sneak in some loving before too long, hey, hey, I mean, play tongue tag with me first and all, James!"

[mwah, smooch, mwah, ag, ag, ummah, mwah.]

"I (hic) mean, James (hic), let me sit on you rick (hic) again, I mean (hic) your hick, I mean your (hic) dick again. I put my (hic) undies on backwards (hic), just for you, (hic), James."

[Snooze, saw, snooze, saw.]

"LOL, let her be, James, she'll sleep for a while."

"I mean, I'm all weighed down, Katherine."

"Well, you've fucked me three times, I sucked you off twice and you licked me raw once, so Kat will do, baby. Now, what's your man problem?"

"Oh, it's a man problem, Kat, I mean, my purpose and need is to spread the seed and all, so."

"Do you have the nerve to drop your shorts and then sit on my drunk and passed sister's lap all the while that I sit on you lap and grind on until you're blind?"

Damn it, with the all the math again, right? Three plus six, carry the two and who even thinks of that anyways? Like a sitting sex sandwich?

"Well James, you're just going to have to figure out how to balance yourself on Wendy's drunk ass lap and all, so."

"Well, she's drunk pushing back and all, so."

Well, she doesn't have a dick, so you're safe, now thrust up baby."

"Well, I love your naked body, Kat."

"And my naked body loves you, James, now screw me in this crazy position and all."

Well, that crazy position wasn't working all that well, so.

"Fine James, I'm not afraid to try something and it fails, so, so, so roll me over onto the floor and take me like your House Guest Wife (and make me your baby) and be loud about so my other sister can you grunting over the sounds her banging the pots and the pans, James!"

[Whoof, whoof, grunt, whoof, whoof, ug, ug, grunt, whoof, whoof, ugh, ugh, hg, hg, hg, grunt, whoof.]

"Do me James, do me like it's a holiday weekend, James."

[Whoof, grunt, whoof, grunt, whoof, whoof, ug, ug, whoof, whoof, ugh, ugh, grunt, hg, whoof, whoof.]

"Ahh, ahh, I feel your seed, James, I feel it now, ooh, ooh, a baby is a coming, ahh, ahh, James."

[Wheeze, wheeze, wheeze, baby, wheeze, wheeze, ooh, ooh, baby, wheeze, wheeze.]

"[Mwah], just sexy talk, James, just sexy talk."

I mean, "screw me" is sexy talk and "ooh, yeah, right there" is sexy talk, so??????

"Oh, huh, I mean, maybe my clean up jobs with my mouth are blow jobs after all, right James?"

I mean, duh!

"Alright slugger, rest up while I change into something appropriate and you know, go see if my sister Cari is bending over and taking a pie out off the oven, but mind you slugger, if I have a bun in oven, well, I mean, we'll wait for the results and all, but I'm getting ready redefine our phrase of how I "own" you, so (mwah), get it while you can, stud muffin man."

"I mean, (hic), is thinner ready (hic), I mean dinner (hic) and why is my (hic) crotch so (hic) wet?"

Oh, now that's some sexy drunk talk, right?

"Well James, I just thought that I would wear tights today and all while I was cooking, so."

"I mean, they just came so easily and all, so."

"I mean, the ladies at the Line Dance club, I mean, sometimes men just shove their face in all that crack and cheeks, so. WHOA, ooh, I mean, viva la line dance then, ah, ag, woo, woo, oh my word, James, James, that's deep, James, I mean, woo, woo, woo, ag, ga, ga, OK, OK, OK, do me, do me, do me."

[Whoof, grunt, whoof, grunt, whoof, whoof, ug, ug, whoof, whoof, ugh, ugh, grunt, hg, whoof, whoof.]

[Head bang, head bang, head bang.]

"Seed me, James, seed me before my pie burns, James. Or move me away from the Breakfast Bar."

[Whoof, grunt, whoof, grunt, whoof, whoof, ug, ug, whoof, whoof, ugh, ugh, grunt, hg, whoof, whoof.]

"Oh, that's the stuff, James, but listen, ooh that's wet and sticky, um, he's going to be home soon, so, oh, oh, oh, that's running all down my creamy thighs babe, I mean, you should get going, James."

[Soft whoof, limp whoof, way limp whoof, really dude whoof, give it up whoof.]

"It's OK babe, really, it's OK, whew, I mean, he's coming home soon, James."

Well, no one will ever be able to say that I ever give up with things, so.

"Hey, James, dude, what's happening?"

"Oh, hey, Danny, I mean it's great to see and I'm glad you're home the November holiday, but listen, I'm whipped dude and I need to split, so."

"Ah man, that's too bad, I mean, (I think my Aunt Kat has an eye for you, dude.) I mean, who knows, right?"

"Oh, maybe, but look, your mom is busting it in the kitchen and your Aunt Wendy is drunk humping the couch and you should get some rest with Merri while you a little time and I mean, your Aunt Kat looks like she could use a break at the mall or something, so."

I mean, I think his home town girlfriends name is Merri, so.

"Huh, so you're taking me to the mall for a while then, James?"

"Oh, yeah and then to my house. I mean, I have a great bed and well, I mean, we can try some, um, I mean."

"Some dirty stuff, James? Or just some naughty stuff then?"

Well, we all played hide the weenie for the rest of the long weekend and I hide my weenie just about everywhere, but the weekend came to a close and things settled back down for a while and just a handful of weeks later the Christmas holiday came around then the Christmas greeting cards started to come and it wasn't long before my mantle was lined with pleasant greetings.

Or baby announcements, if those can be considered as pleasant greetings. I mean, even Mindi from the condom and dildo thing! Well, my friend Danny's greeting card wasn't all that pleasant with how I had gotten his mom, his sister, his Aunt Wendy and his Aunt Kat pregnant, but now that we're about to be second cousins and all, I mean, he'll chill out sooner or later, right?

Oh, and some lady named Millie from the Line Dance club too, but I think she's just riding the baby daddy gravy train. Unless I rode her gravy train and have forgotten about it, so.

End James & Mrs. Evans 05