by AnonymousStories
Sorry. First effort. Was very tired and the ending was poor. In fact, most of the story was kind of poor. I'll try again for a better story when I'm not so tired..
The story is a good first effort. Keep at it. Realize you made the nit pickers happy and it didn't take much.
This one might need a little proofing:
"Aiden sat in his cat at 5:43." (just one example) Assuming you meant 'car' or that is one uncomfortable house-pet. Mistakes like that can be distracting.
I also wasn't sure why everything was so precisely timed and measured? Describing a woman's breasts with just a bra-size is not particularly romantic, sorry.
Who times how long they kiss for? 7 minutes, really? so was the ex best friend 13 too? Aiden as a 15 year old in the first year of dating Jane, had sex with Alicia?