Janine - First Love

I loved church. I loved the calm, the friendships, the joy of the Lord and knowing the love of Christ and that he would always be with me.

We belonged to a modern liberal church. As a child, Sunday School was like the brightest part of every week. Youth group was a wonderful safe place to grow and feel at home and the church my beacon and my parents my compass. Life for me felt charmed. I was sheltered from harm and protected by the naivety of youth and God's love.

Church was never heavy, never hard, never a chore.

My parents trusted and loved me and when I was 17 they allowed me to reach further into the world outside of family, church and school. With my best friends I went to the cinema, to parks, some parties, to the city, across town and we talked and we laughed. I felt very adult and every Friday or Saturday night I came home and thanked God for my day and my life.

I had a few non-church friends. One was named Chloe. Chloe was a bit rough and very wise on what I thought was the darker side of life. She was also full of energy and very positive. We shared that: I was positive about life, she was positive about fun.

I knew that Chloe smoked and drank. I also knew she hung out with the 'bad boys' at times and rumour had it, she had had sex. According to rumour she had a lot of sex, although I never knew that first hand and we never discussed it. Maybe it was just rumour.

I liked her and she liked me. Nothing else mattered. I trusted her as a friend and I was also attracted to her more 'sinful' style. She had not and ounce of faith in her. We were different, but felt close.

A week after my 18th birthday Chloe insisted we go to a bar for my first time. I was reluctant, but also excited by the idea. I prayed on it and talked to my parents and they had faith in me and encouraged me to put my trust in God and Chloe. That trust in Chloe may have been misplaced, but they did not know that at the time.

Saturday the 3rd of August 1997 is a day I will never forget. I sometimes think of it as Sinful Saturday or Sexual Saturday. Around midday on that day I walked the 15minutes to Chloe's house to spend the day and night.

When I arrived she was home alone as her parents had gone away for the weekend. They had a massive house with 5 bedrooms. I knocked on the front door and was met by Chloe who embraced me, took my bag and dropped it inside the door and then we walked to the shops.

I had not had an 18th birthday party so only a few of my friends had given me gifts. Chloe told me she had a special gift for me and led me into her hairdressers. The hairdresser was given instructions by Chloe to make me look 'hot'. I was a bit concerned about that and stressed that my hair was not to be cut, other than trimmed and it was not to be coloured.

We walked out of the salon 90 minutes later and I loved the way that I looked. My black hair was now so shiny and the natural waves were gone. It was dead straight and it seemed longer, beautifully shaped and also a little 'tarty'. I felt so glamourous.

Back at her house we began the process of preparation. Firstly we did each other's nails (Both blood red) as we watched Pretty Woman, which I had never seen before. I was taken by the beauty of the Julia Roberts. It was the most romantic and also the raunchiest movie I had ever seen.

Chloe poured me a glass of wine, a Sauterne. Her mother's favourite. She said I should begin with a sweet wine and I found it fruity and delicious. She drank something else with coke, but I was happy sipping that sweet nectar and enjoyed the buzz that settled over me.

We had an early dinner of Pizza in preparation for our big night out.

Chloe poured my second drink with a smile. I drank it slowly as we watched Julia Roberts get swept from her feet by Richard Gere. I felt very mellow, calm and relaxed. I also felt a little light headed and left most of my glass and got myself a glass of water. Chloe however, finished her third drink as the movie ended.

Then we went our separate ways to shower. Chloe took the bathroom and insisted I use her parents ensuite and insisted I use her mother's razor and showed me where the new blades were. I tried to tell her I would be ok but she was adamant and as she left the room she said "Pits, Pins and Pussy and I will check, so do it!"

I laughed, she laughed and she left.

I looked in the long mirror and was struck by how I looked: my hair, the colour in my face, my nails. I said a little prayer of thanks. I undid my cuff buttons, then my top button, then the next and then another. I felt a tinge of excitement watching myself undress. Revealing me to myself as though it were the first time.

I smiled and I saw that smile return from the mirror. I felt so attracted to my own image. That thought made me laugh and brought me back to reality. But, then I undid another button and another. Then I opened my shirt like I was opening a curtain to let the sun shine into my life. The shirt fell to the floor. I felt good.

I ran my hands over my tummy and then undid my bra from the front. It was as though I was revealing my breasts to myself for the first time. The bra fell away. My dark nipples were hard and were so proud and on show against my pale breasts.

I cupped my 34b breasts like I was nurturing a baby bird and gently felt them all over. All the time watching.

Long dark hair, bright nails, pale skin, proud dark nipples and flesh so smooth. My fingers roamed from my tummy to my neck, around my breasts and then over my breasts...feeling, fingering my nipples. As I watched.

I whispered "thank you lord."

I slid off my track pants and then stood and the image was ruined by my plain white panties. I looked at my reflection and smiled, then slowly I slid them down and stepped from them. I revealed my naked self to the mirror. I slid my fingers into the hair of my vagina and it felt beautiful, but Chloe's words came to me, "Pits, Pins and Pussy." I lifted my arms and saw a stubble. I reached for her mother's razor and turned on the hand held shower piece.

I soaped my vagina and then smoothed down my pubic hair. I slid the razor down a first pass mowing into the base of my pubic hairs. I was not a 'hairy' girl by any means and my pubic hair was on the fine side. I rinsed and soaped myself again and continued the process then took a new blade and finished with a sharp clean blade. I fussed around my labia and all around my vagina. I was hairless for the first time since I began growing pubic hair.

All done I soaped again and ran my hands over myself: my vagina, my inner thighs and all around my pubic region. It felt.....I felt amazing and I was feeling my arousal grow. I stopped myself afraid that I might lose control, get lost in masturbation and wet my hair!

10 minutes later I stepped from the shower: Smooth armpits and smooth pussy and a token effort on my 'pins' as I was wearing jeans out anyway. And, most importantly dry hair!

I looked at myself in the mirror and said a word I had never said before in my life "fuck."

I was captivated by myself, my hair, eyes, mouth, nails, skin, breasts, my pussy, my ass, my pins, all of me!

The water made my skin shine and I ran my hands over me, touching me, enjoying me, playing with me and arousing me. And I watched.

I lifted one arm and ran my fingers over my smooth armpits and my neck. I caressed my breasts. I felt my nipples harden. I played with them, I pinched them, I adored them. And I watched.

My hands slid along my tummy to my vagina, tenderly touching, gently exploring. My middle finger ran down the fold of my vagina, between the labia, the slit. The rest of my hand cupped my vagina. And I watched.

The blood red nail on my finger pressed. It teased at the opening of my vagina, my pussy. The blood red polish contrast against the soft pink skin of my vaginal flesh and then I smiled at myself and the nail dived into the pool of my womanhood.

I was wet, I was so wet. It was not the first time, but this time I felt like my red nail was a deep diver in a clear blue pool. Diving effortlessly smoothly. And, I watched.

The nail reached it's farthest point and then came up for air. I removed it. I looked at it. It shone and then, as though it had a mind of it's own, it dived back into my vagina. And so I fingered myself. And, I watched.

I felt my clitoris harden and slid my finger from the depths and rubbed my vagina gently. I coupled my middle and index fingers and I rubbed. I rubbed myself, I rubbed my clit and I watched.

One hand pressed to the mirror to hold me safe as I masturbated. I opened my legs for better access and I fingered and rubbed. Then I moved my hand away and gazed upon myself and in my mind I said "OMG what a beautiful pussy." Then my finger plunged back in and slid out and rubbed and rubbed. And I watched.

My eyes were locked on my hand ravaging my vagina, then I stiffened. My physical form took on new life, my nerves were full of energy, my thoughts swam in my brain, my heart skipped and the world trembled.

I came.

I pressed into the mirror and I whispered breathlessly "Oh fuck" and then "thank you lord."

I closed my eyes and I breathed slowly. I came back to earth. Looking at myself in the mirror I saw a different me. A different Janine and I wondered if this was the best I would ever feel in my body.

Drying myself I began to calm further and reflect on what I had done. Some people of faith may have seen it as sinful. But, why would anything that feels so good be a sin?

Chloe's Mum's gown was in the bathroom so I slid it on and did up the sash, picked up my clothes and went to Chloe's room. When I walked in the door she was on her bed applying make-up. I did a double take. She was all legs in a mini skirt. She was a few inches taller than me at 5'7". Her blonde hair was brushed out and long, she wore a top that showed off her amazing cleavage and no bra! She often talked about her 34c breasts, but they never looked so prominent before.

She looked at me and said simply "nice shower?"

I nodded as she said "well?"

I said "well what?"

She said "show me."

I became very nervous and said "no, it is ok."

She stood and said "show me" and I protested once more. She just smiled and lifted her skirt. She had no panties on and I saw her smooth vagina. I was stunned by how wonderful she looked: all of her and her vagina just looked so cute and so gorgeous. I was speechless.

"Your turn," she said.

I stammered and she smiled again and reach out to me. I stepped back and said "ok".

My hands took hold of the robe sash I undid it and hesitantly opened the robe. I closed my eyes and held the robe open. (I opened the curtain again and the sun shone on me.) She whispered "Oh Janine, you look so hot."

I opened my eyes and smiled and said "thanks."

I felt so awkward and was awash with emotions. She sipped from a glass of wine and then handed it to me. She said "relax, you need this and Janine you look fucking stunning."

My ego was riding high but, this was all so new. I felt so different. Basking in a sort of 'self-adoration' glow. I never felt like this before, such warm feelings were always for the lord, not myself. And they were never like this, never intense.

I took a gulp of wine and Chloe took the glass from me and sipped some herself. We were close and she leaned in and kissed my cheek. and said "Janine, you look amazing. Now, get your jeans on and wear this t shirt. It is too small for me and no bra and no panties, Ok?"

She watched me as I slid off the robe and pulled on the t shirt. Thank goodness it was quite new and the fabric was not thin, although my nipples were proud. I slid my jeans on and it was the first time I had done so without underwear. I felt sexy.

I was concentrating on myself and dressing and did not look at Chloe. She said to me "fuck Janine you look amazing, so fucking sexy." I closed my eyes and just whispered "no."

She said "Oh yes, look at me."

I turned and looked and she was looking at me, legs open and masturbating.

I was stunned and stammered "no Chloe, no."

She replied "Oh yes Janine, yes."

I stammered "no Chloe, this is too much, I mean, way too much."

She just smiled and said "God made me do it. If God says it is Ok, it is Ok."

I stared at her and felt a flush of anger and said "you do not believe in God, you do not know God!"

She looked into my eyes and said "you bring me close to God" and with that she pressed her finger into her vagina. She drew it out and brought it to her lips. "God made me this way and he made me feel this way."

She moved to me and placed that finger on my lips "I feel God Janine.......with you."

I felt the scent of her vagina in my nose. I felt the wetness on my lips. I felt the taste of it. I felt so much physically and emotionally. I felt weak.

"I want to find God with you" she said. "I want to feel the love of the lord with you."

She brought her lips to mine. "help me Janine, help me find god." She kissed me.

She opened my mouth with her tongue and kissed me. Her tongue was in my mouth and I responded.

I was so aroused I felt so buzzed, so alive with passion. I felt everything in the beauty of my love for God and I felt very human emotions of need and desire. I felt weak and whispered "I love God so much."

She replied "I want to love God. Show me." With that she undid my jeans and lowered herself and them to the floor.

She kissed my knees, my thighs, my inner thighs and then kissed my vagina gently and whispered "god made you divine."

She stood and peeled off my t shirt, she removed her clothing and we stood naked close and then she reached for me and kissed me and held me. Her hands on my ass.

We kissed with hunger our bodies warm and pressed hard together. My hands went to her back and then her ass and her back. I felt lust for the first time. We groped, kissed and fell onto her bed. Our bodies were entwined. I wanted to touch all of her with all of me. I wanted to be under her skin, in her body, in her blood and in her mind. I wanted to meld with her. My mind was awash with lust and desire. We were so hungry for each other.

Flesh. I desired her flesh. The flesh of Chloe. For the first time in my life I wanted flesh other than that of Christ.

She took my hand and pressed it to her vagina as she felt mine. She hissed "finger my cunt, finger my cunt Janine." And my blood red nail delved into her.

I did not know whether God was guiding me or the devil. I did not care. I was consumed.

We faced each other laying on our sides. One leg up so we could finger and play. I rubbed her as she rubbed me. Our clits sang to the same tune as they were played with lustful intent. We fingered, we rubbed, we fingered we rubbed, we rubbed, we rubbed and then she yelled "Jesus Christ, Oh My Fucking God."

And she came and clamped her thighs on my hand and rode my wrist before she froze still.

Then we kissed gently.

Our breathing returned to normal our bodies locked. Our breath shared.

She whispered to me "thank you."

I looked into her eyes and smiled "thank god," I said.

We did not go out to a bar. We did not leave her room. We drank a little more wine, we nibbled on snacks and we nibbled on each other. We each enjoyed our second orgasm together and then lay in a 69 position on our sides. We examined each other's vaginas and we kissed and licked. We fingered and we examined. We talked to each other's vaginas like we were meeting a new friend we loved. It was an amazing thing to make love to a woman's vagina with my mouth and my face, my lips, my tongue, my eyes, my fingers, my hands. As she loved me in return. And we whispered about sex, love, each other, our bodies and God.

After some erotic time in a sexual daze of words and lust, we both gave thanks to "Jesus Christ and Oh My fucking God" once more.

Then we cuddled and I fell asleep with her spooning me, her right hand on my right breast.