All Comments on 'Jase and Beth: The pregnant virgin'

Congratulations! Well done. Good pacing, good description!

Feel free to break up sentences, shorten paragraphs. This from the champion of run-on sentences, I know.

Here and there an added sensation or response, plenty of that but more is better! Even their reactions of her sisters, hearing her scream, a little voyeur impulse, a bit more fun!

Again, good job! I look forward to more.

Hot.

More, please!

If virgin pregnancy is extremely rare, I would imagine triplets are pretty much impossible. Still it's a hot story.

Nice story but the beginning is to much to fast with a lot of extra characters. Otherwise good work

Jase stood in the kitchen, his best friend Joe had invited him over to hang out for a few drinks, a couple movies, some pizza, and hopefully some sex. Joe lived here with his girlfriend Shana, her twin sister Shannon and her girlfriend Jessie, and their younger sister Beth…

Is it too much to invent character names that don't all begin with the same letters? Jase, Joe, Jessie, Shana, Shannon—and Beth. It would make it much easier to follow who's doing what to whom!