Jay Nee 01

"Oh, it's a curse and a blessing Mrs. DD, so, um, I mean (red Lolli Pop slurp, suck, plop), I'm an expert here at the filling station these days, if you need help with your free DD gasoline, so?"

Fact checking, huh, I said it, I offered, so, it was my job!

[Glug, glug, glug, glug goes the smelly gasoline for a six "g" word score!]

"Alright, Jay Nee, straight up, I messed up and I need some advice. How do I scrub a couple of photos from the internet, hmm?"

Fact checking, LOL, LMAO, LOL, almost as much as "Houston, would you look at that" maybe.

Tee he, it was really, really funny, folks.

"Ahem, are you through now, Jay Nee? What's my other choices then, hmm?"

Fact checking, it is totally legit to comment back to the haters that a 40 something bare booty only looks bigger while laying face down in a tanning bed. While knocked out from knock out gas. And to clap back with a better nudie.

Fact checking, there were a few creeper bedroom photos on my phone, so, what?

"Well, SOB, Jay Nee, where did these photos come from and why are they on your phone and when were these taken and most importantly, why haven't you e-mailed them to me yet, hmm? I have a man on Chang Mature to hook!"

Fact checking, excuse me, the real responses should have been "OMG, I'm so glad that you saved these photos" since a certain DD person setup the creeper shots through her cracked open bedroom door a few years ago, but old people, right? They conveniently forget stuff. But that certain DD person picked a good time in her life to set that up.

A That's Right fact checking, yep, women trust transitional boys when it comes to sneaky stuff.

"Fine, Jay Nee, I remember everything and I even confess everything, but, mm, mm, mm, I picked a good age to pose for you and mm, mm, mm, I think I miss wearing a purple thong now! Anyways, thanks for pumping my gas and you know what, stop by and visit with my niece at her shop on the Strip soon. I mean, she never judged you, so, um, how do I "accidently" send one of these photos to Mr. Phil Phillips, then, hmm?"

Fact checking, ugh, no comment on the phone technology challenged, but I did it for her.

[Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, a fury of response texts from Mr. Phil Phillips!]

Fact checking, huh, that worked faster than even I thought.

[The Sassy Rack Shop on the Strip where Eillie works front door chime jingle, jangle]

"Oh, oh, Jay Nee! I haven't seen you in a minute, but I heard that it's a fact that you're delivering fuel and food to the guys, I mean, to the men, tomorrow afternoon, so, I mean, just what kind of "get your gasoline here" outfit (giggles) can I slip you into this evening, hmm?"

"Ellie (red Lolli Pop slurp, suck, plop), what the hell is a "pump your gas here" outfit anyways?"

"Oh, ignoring how you didn't argue back on the fact that it's real delivery date on the side then, I mean, skin. Belly, thong straps, legs, ankles, neck, face, shoulders, some chest, you know, all of the above, some of the above or none of the above, I mean, you can pick out something that you like that will keep their fuel gauges pointing at full, so?"

Fact checking, OMFG!

But I found something that might look nice in the field, um, like a fact checking fuel and food outfit selection with "some of the above", plus, minus, plus, plus. With maybe a tad more minus.

"Oh, Jay Nee, you're strutting down the Strip and sprouting a bag from the Sassy Rack Shop then, I mean, sup?"

"Oh (red Lolli Pop slurp, suck, plop), Edward, um, it's just a little something for a refueling two different ways situation I have coming up, so, sup?"

Fact checking, a dual "sup" from both directions is equivalent to a "hey there, hey" and that's a fact.

Oh, for making possible future plans! Just in case your naughty minds were going south.

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, lip lock, mwah, ah, rub, rub, mwah, ah, oops, ahh, ahh]

"Oh, oh, Jay Nee, Jay Nee, are you going keep kissing me south, huh? I need it, Jay Nee!"

Fact checking, ahem, it's only men who say "I need it or I will die" like all the time. And even though Edward is a sweetheart, it's still a fact that a dual "sup" only works for smooching wooing. Kissing south requires a full mutual back and forth exchange of "hey there, hey" and that's a fact.

Fact checking, there's always the fake emergency text App!

"Well, damn it anyways, it's just my luck to have side fag blow job feelings from someone who has a grandmamma who has died, but then came back, apparently, because then she got crashed by some crazy train-meteor accident, broke her leg a week later, but had a granny marathon to run the same week and then became blinded by blue fire, but came back from that to be named the head bingo caller! I mean, go, Jay Nee because that's a lot of family stuff to deal with, but remember that I was there for you, hey..."

"(Beep, beep)"

Fact checking, sometimes grandmamma is out shopping late and beeps at you while she's cruising by. On the back of a motorcycle!

Fact checking, sometimes I have too much time on hands to fiddle with my phone, so, what?

"OMFG (red Lolli Pop slurp, suck, plop), she's being driven to the hospital for some yet unknown reason, oh, there's a Tsunami coming, Edward, so, I have to go [smooch], so, bye!"

Fact checking, tee he, I meant to save the blue fire thing for this guy, Nick, who is my regular eye ball gaze at the filling station on my usual Friday night at 7:05pm, so, I might use that one again.

"[Loud speaker system crackle] hey, blue eyes Nick at pump 5, eyes front and down or you might start a blue fire, thank you, the management [crackle]."

"Tee he, jealous boyfriends, right?"

"Oh, Leroy is not my boyfriend (red Lolli Pop slurp, suck, plop) and you and I gaze at each other every night, so?"

"Well, you seem to always, um, well, I like skin, so, um, I mean, so, you like your Lolli Pops then, huh?"

"(Red Lolli Pop plop, slurp, suck, plop)"

"Oh, I mean, I'm Ted, so?"

"(Red Lolli Pop plop, slurp, suck, plop) I'm Jay Nee (red Lolli Pop plop, slurp, suck, plop)"

"Oh, well then, hey there, hey, sup?"

Fact checking, well, Nick had a way with his words, so, shut it!

End Jay Nee 01