Jay Nee 02

Jay Nee 02

Fact checking, I'm beginning to think that some people have begun to look forward to seeing me at the filling station because I still start my Friday nights out at the filling station, but I'm considering a small fashion change to dump the fingerless gloves because some people are starting to believe that I work there between 6pm and 7pm.

"Oh (red Lolli Pop slurp, pop, suck, plop), I mean, Tessa, I'm saying hello, but you don't have to say it back because I remember that you banished me around graduation time because I once said crick instead of creek and I mean, I start my Friday nights out hanging out at the filling station sometimes, so?"

"(Giggles) oh, um, yeah, Jay Janes, right? And I've changed a bit over the last couple of years, so, I'm tossing it back to you, especially since I later found out that it was Willy Bob Willy Joe who told you it was crick instead of creek, so, um, am I saying hello back to Janie then, hmm?"

Fact checking, Tessa, right? Attractive for sure, but her legs are forever16 skinny as you've ever seen for an adult young woman, which I'm not saying is good or bad, especially since her thin legs seem to add to her ability to wear pleated miniskirts or Skorts all the time. All the time.

"I mean, people call me Jay Nee, but I mean, I don't work here or anything like that at all, but I noticed that you paid at the pump, so, I mean, are you are going inside for a soda or something, Tessa? I mean, there is an unadvertised discount here where you get a free item for the store area for a fill up, so?"

"Oh, that's good to know then, Jay Nee, um, maybe you should check my pump status to make absolute certain that I slid my credit card properly then, hmm?"

Fact checking, that's exactly the same as are you pumping my fuel or what because you're wearing fingerless gloves?

[Glug, glug, glug, glug, praise the heavens for the nozzle trigger lock, glug, glug, glug]

Other fact checking, I have got to get me a pair of those cork heels! Pronto.

[Cork clump, cork clump, cork clump, cork clump]

"Well then, that counter guy inside of the store has it hard for you then, Jay Nee and I mean hard, sheesh!"

"Tessa, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean..."

"Oh, hush silly, I remember you from school and I know "that" can't be your type, so, take my number and um, slip on a pair of thigh high socks and then come over to my 'rents place for my after party after the Fire Flies Festival tomorrow night, I mean, tee he, since your cute little cheeks glow as bright as a Fire Fly anyways, tee he, so, ta, ta and don't disappoint, Jay Nee, bye!"

Fact checking, (giggles) she said "that" about Leroy (giggles) but ahem, I like the Fire Fly reference and...

"(Beep, beep) and bring a few red Lolli Pops with you, Jay Nee, tootles [vroom, vroom, vroom]."

Fact checking, duh. Lolli Pops are my jam.

"Excuse me, excuse me, outdoor attendant, I'm about to file a complaint with the parent company of the gasoline station because you seem to ignore anyone over 50, um, over 40 and, um, over 30, um, well, I'm filing a complaint because if you're going to hang out here at the filling station, then you should wear a little skirt dress thing like that girl who just pulled away!"

"Hah, go ahead, mister and you can file your complaint with "that" inside of the gas station right now, so, what else do have then, hmm?"

"Oh, I can take sex from you 20 years better than my age and I can give you sex 10 years better than my age, so, crumble!"

Fact checking, um, I don't speak OG language, so, huh?

And shush people, I'm only teasing about Leroy being "that" because he's really sweet under all that. Tee he.

"Hey, stop day dreaming and starting working the math problem that I just gave you."

"Hah! I'll fact check that with the wife when she rolls her yacht SUV all up in here later tonight with her Middleton Gigolo by her side, but my money is on you're 20 past limp and half another 20 towards squishy limp and I don't have time for any of this nonsense because I have to go shopping right this very instant for party socks because the scarlet letter across my chest washed off in creek and I need to get and split this very moment and, oh, oh, oh..."

[Vroom, slow roll, vroom, put it in park at pump 3]

"Well, wait a minute, prissy missy, stop ignoring me because at least I noticed that your hair changed from, um, um, oh, I noticed that your hair changed from that to this, so, hah back a half!"

Fact checking, I did change my hair back to my darker color and had it straightened because I see a ponytail in my future for Middleton's August festivals circuit, but trust me, I did not change it from that to this. Well, snap, I guess I did do that in one sense, but I'm not into OG-somethings.

Fact checking, yeah, it's that guy, Nick and you know, his girlfriend that vroomed up to pump 3.

[Wink-wink, wink-wink, wink-wink, wink-wink, it's like Morse code eye winking]

Shut it. I figured Nick had a girlfriend before, so, shut it. They all have girlfriends, just like they all pass out eventually.

[A roomy sedan car door opens without warning]

"What? What the hell are you doing and answer me quick before I start screaming bloody, oh, oh, it's you, the "special little filling station side attendant" then, hmm?"

Fact checking, huh, I almost liked that. But I suppose you had to hear the way she said it.

"And now what are doing? Were you raised by a pack Wolves or something? And I'm not asking that because you might be able to pull off a grey streak in your hair, so, answer me, pervert."

[Seat belt fiddle, struggle, fiddle, struggle, fiddle, struggle, fiddle, struggle]

Fact checking, there wasn't any efforts back to bring the fiddle and struggling to an end.

"Girlfriend lady (red Lolli Pop slurp, suck, plop), it's a fact that the seat belt effect is extremely popular and I'm being 62% careful with my seat belt fiddling hands and you might as well just jump right into "OMG, and now why are you taking pictures" because it's a fact that the "Peep & Pull" slideshow rolls "women in cars" in the lounge area on Sunday nights when the peeping booths are full and before you scream at me again, it's a no face photo op [seat beat fiddle, struggle, fiddle, fiddle], so?"

Fact checking, well, I haven't been punched out in over two years, so, I may have been overdue.

"Hmph! Give me that fucking Lolli Pop sucker, asshole [oh, so, that's how one snatches a "in-use" Lolli Pop out of a mouth! And almost takes two teeth with it.] Three photos and no more, pervert Wolf boy!"

Fact checking, three, five, eight, a grey streak, a white streak, it's all the same thing.

"Samantha, what's this all about, huh, honey?"

"Oh, tee he, that's just your special little attendant all passed out, tee he, honey."

Fact checking, I said it several times in the first chapter that I pass out a lot.

"So, either help him up back to his dainty feet or throw him in the trunk!"

Fact checking, I can still hear when I'm passed out, gulp.

"[Wink-wink. Lift, grope, grip, ugh!] Are you crazy, Jay Nee?"

"[Wink-wink. Stand, grip back, ooh] Are you crazy (red Lolli Pop slurp, suck, plop), Nick? It's a tie."

[A head halfway pops out of the passenger window]

"Ahem, shall I pop the trunk open, honey [wink, wink] or what? I mean, I can reach the pull handle from here, so?"

Fact checking, yep, you drop back down and pass back out when they release their grip.

[Vroom, vroom, vroom Middleton's favorite under 30 power couple vrooms away]

Fact checking, somewhere around the planet, the middle finger from the girlfriend passenger is a legit wave good bye.

[The Thigh High Socks Shop front door chime jingle, jangle]

"Oh, no matter what you're looking for, I have it, so?"

"Oh [fact checks nametag] Keely, I'm Jay Nee (red Lolli Pop slurp, suck, plop) and I have a personally delivered invite to Tessa's Fire Fly Festival after party, but she said that I should wear tall socks, so I think that was a hint that I should wear tall socks, so I'm buying some Fire Fly Festival thigh socks because I'm going to Tessa's party no matter what! And I've never had a friend named Mike, so, keep that in mind, um, let's see what you have then, so?"

"Oh, well then, Jay Nee, I mean, this is your lucky day then and some guy named Mike might get lucky because the entire left wall of our tall socks is our "Must Meet Mike" collection and directly behind me in the cube box shelves is the "R U Mike" collection and then to my right, I mean, of course, it's our best seller "Hey There, Hey, Mike" collection, so?"

Fact checking, can you say ka-boom? I mean, Keely said can you say Cha-Ching, but we both said it at exactly the same time, so, jinx minus one!

Back fact, fact checking, nowhere have you heard me say that I'm a miniskirt wearer. I have one and even though I don't have much up front, I still have a front and center, so, Keely tried to convince to look like the other preppies, but I passed.

"Silly, that's the beauty of Denim skorts, Jay Nee of the jungle! The Skorts Shop just the across the Strip can hook you up with a pleated set from their "Where's Mikey" skorts collection, jungle lust, Jay Nee."

Moving on fact checking, I did not and I repeat, I did not buy a pair of those over exposed colorfully striped thigh high socks that models wear all over the internet! I bought two! I mean, Mike might like them, so.

And maybe I bought a pair of animal print tall socks if you're wondering why Keely referred to me, that's right, jungle lust, Jay Nee of the jungle! But not for the Fire Fly after party. That's red and black.

"Hi, I mean, (red Lolli Pop slurp, suck, plop), I'm Jay Nee and I've been invited to this party and Tessa probably wants me to pick up the red plastic beer cups or write peoples names of the red plastic cups with the Sharpie that I brought with me and I'm okay with that, so, do I give blood to enter the backyard because I can pump up a vein like I pump gasoline or what? And what's your name, hmm?"

"Hey, I'm Michael and blood won't be necessary tonight and you didn't hear this from me, but I think you will have a great time here tonight and I'm not making any assumptions about your tastes or likes in life, so, grab a red cup, tee he, write your name on it with your Sharpie and mingle then, Jay Nee."

Fact checking, OMFG, there needs to be more Michaels in the world! Like a lot more!

"Oh, Jay Nee, I'm so glad you made it and you didn't disappoint, but first things first. Stand straight with shoulders back."

[Cringle, crackle, snap, pop, pop, snap, groan, ahh]

"Pouty pucker lips, but not stuffy attitude pouty lips, more like refined pouty lips."

[Um, I passed that, I guess because Tessa kept going]

"Red beer cup in right hand if you're right-handed."

[Ahh, okay]

"Finger-flip the front edge of your finely straightened hair with your left index finger."

[Well, I do sit in front of a boyfriend, I mean, a mirror!]

"Pull your socks up tight, tight, tight and circle your fingers around the tops to enhance the indentation around your eye-catching mid thighs."

[Um, have I been doing it all wrong for the last four years?]

"Make my forever16 legs quiver with your Lolli Pop licks, pops and plops!"

[Well, that's my jam too! Her legs quivered, right?]

"Not bad, um, we don't need a voice check since we just talked yesterday, so..."

[Hah! Since way before I should have perfected that!]

"So, almost perfect then, Jay Nee! Cheek kisses are always air kisses and you twist pivot on the balls of your feet with the heel lifted off of the ground and flirt touching is always with the back of the fingers and hooking up interests are no more than two fingers and the thumb as a pinch grip, but only in the centerline of the body. There's a spot behind the swimming pool changing hut if things are going to progress to a booty cheek poke, ahem, side cheeks only, unless it's so steamy that a couple of zig zag finger saw actions on the cheeks feels right."

Fact checking, it may have sounded weird, but Tessa's preppy party instructions were actually quite helpful.

"[Still fidgeting with posture] the 'rents are at Mrs. Bentley's after party, so, don't worry about that, bathrooms are inside, nobody actually goes for a midnight swim, but the fence is a good place to talk, head up, head up, head up, the guys release the Fire Fly jars at the tone sound of the bell and the girls go all "ooh" and "ahh" in a half circle, so, Jay Nee, go mingle like you're single!"

Um fact checking, um, I need a newer edition to the party playbook.

"Oh, and one last thing, Jay Nee, find yourself a Sharpie and dot a beauty mark next to corner of your alluring lips or go with a three dots triangle under your left eye [air kiss, air kiss], tootles, bye."

Amazement fact checking, OMG, they all air cheek kiss!

"Tee he, somebody is Tessa's pet project, tee he."

[OMFG, a huge exhale and relax! But then right back at it, crack, pop, snap, groan]

"Hi, I'm Ben Benjamin Benedict IV and I'm available to help you out if you need it. Do you have any Morse code eye winking experience?"

Fact checking, duh, see my side affair failure above with Nick from the filling station.

"Hi, Ben B3, I'm Jay Nee (red Lolli Pop slurp, suck, plop) and starting tomorrow, I'm switching off my sports bra for a shapewear gridle two times a week! And please laugh at that."

Fact checking, whew, he chuckled laughed.

"Ben B3 (red Lolli Pop slurp, suck, plop), Tessa didn't cover any protocols for making it clear that I'm a guy under all this, so, do I speak forward first or what's your thoughts on that, hmm?"

Fact checking, I mean, that was clearly a two fingers and thumb pinch on my hip side, right? Body centerline, of course.

"Oops, this way, Fire Fly! You might remember me as Rae-Rae and we need to go find a Sharpie for you because that's what Tessa said, so, walk with purpose with me and sneak rubber bands under the top folds of your thigh high socks next time to blow up the indentation rings and make them pop!"

Fact checking, she did say "next time", right?

"Shoulders back, head up and straight, face forward to me, hold [twist dot, twist dot, twist dot a cheek triangle on]."

"Rae-Rae, I mean (red Lolli Pop slurp, suck, plop), next time, um..."

"Hush and survive tonight first, Jay Nee. But since Tessa is having an iridescent clam shell bikini top Laua party in two weeks and since I'm a Tomboy girl with Tomboy girl titties, I might be positioning myself for a few glow-up comments in advance during the party since I won't fill out my iridescent clam shell bikini top the same as some of the other girls. I mean, that's how it works around here, Jay Nee, I mean, you do have the 176th edition of the preppy party playbook, right, Jay Nee?"

"Oh, oh, Rae-Rae (red Lolli Pop slurp, suck, plop), it's a staple on my nightstand, I mean, ooh, um, I mean, I was just checking that the next edition hadn't been released yet because, I mean, well, it's my nighty night sleepy time "must read" at night!"

Fact checking, well, reading does help me to fall asleep, so, I didn't exactly lie about everything.

"Oops, my turn, I mean, did someone order rubber bands to make their thigh indentations pop?

[Rubber band wiggle up, wiggle up, wiggle up, SNAP. Repeat on the left leg]

Fact checking, that was hot!

"Um, (red Lolli Pop slurp, suck, plop), it's Ellie, right?"

"Allie, Ellie is my sister, so [air kiss, air kiss], here, I mean, since you have a Sharpie handy, Jay Nee [scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble] and I'm just guessing here, so you can't hold me responsible if things don't work out. But, um, the pool fence, man in the middle [air kiss, air kiss], ta, ta."

Fact checking, Jack Jaxen Jackson III, hmm.

"Ahem!"

"Oh (red Lolli Pop slurp, suck, plop), many, many, many glow ups to come when Tessa has her Sisters Challenge party, Allie. I'm current with the book!"

"Carry on, Jay Nee."

Fact checking, tee he, that's a setup for a face slapping, right?

"Oh, I carried a watermelon and this red cup of beer, but I dropped off the watermelon first, so?"

Fuck fact checking, it's still not okay in front of his preppy buds! But, Jack Jaxen Jackson III, didn't back flip me over the pool fence, so.

"Um, it's a fun fact about what just happen, so..."

[A ball of foot pivot twist with the heel up in the cork shoes]

"Oh (red Lolli Pop slurp, suck, plop), excuse me, I mean, I'm sorry, but there are no fun facts about sticking one's neck out there with a red cup delivery, only to be shunned, even though that butthead took the beer and sipped it, all the while staring me down with his blank eyes and without saying a single word, especially when even saying nine nasty things back, like three terrible things and three gross and disgusting things and three degrading things, would have better, so, don't tell me about any fun facts then!"

"Or, or, or, or you were late on the delivery because Mike and I switched places along the fence while you were watching Allie's booty bounce away because you had to pause long enough to make a quick comparison in your head that you're on body track and then fun fact, hi there, I'm Jack Jaxen Jackson III and I believe you owe me a beer, so?"

Fact checking, I'm shutting it forever! Well, I'm shutting it going first anyways.

But officially, I mean, I still didn't meet my Mike since he said nothing back.

End Jay Nee 02