Mackie 01

Mackie 01

Hey there, I'm Mackie and I'm starting out by stating that I did not start my transitioning out the right way. I should have started out by transitioning (i.e. brainwashing) the people around me by steering away from Mack Jr. as far back as finger painting class! I mean, just how can some people gaze into my blue shaded eyes and my red painted lips with my long flowing hair surrounding my soft face and refer to me as Mack Jr, hmm?

Obviously, I'm speaking of the people who have known me for a while, but still, look at me! Nothing about me says Mack Jr. or even Mack! But I'm grateful for the people in my life and I am slowly, but surely, winning. I think.

Also, my hair is not all that long and flowing yet, but it's getting there. And it bounces off my shoulders, you know, Mackie style.

And the truth is, I'm somewhat bragging that my transitioning struggles max out at being, ugh, referred to as Mack Jr. because others have it so much worse. But my pink bubble gum struggles are still real. But I rarely wear much pink.

But I did wear a party dress to Bruce's birthday party recently, which was a first for me in public.

"I mean, hi, Jason"

"I mean, Mack Jr., I mean, Mack Jr., I mean, I wasn't looking or anything like that at all, Mack Jr., so, I mean, tee he, when did you get here, Mack Jr., huh?"

See? They are minimal struggles, but they do exist.

"Relax, Jason, I'm just fishing, that's all, so?"

"Oh, I mean, Mack Jr., I mean..."

"Mackie, Jason, Mackie! Mackie with red lips! And the first time in party dress, so, I cast."

"Oh, oh, oh, I mean, I mean, I mean, um, Mackie, I mean, I'm not saying anything out loud, nothing out loud at all, but listen because I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm not the type to say some things out loud because I mean, I mean..."

"Jason, your manhood is safe. See? I'm waving my hands in the air [wave, wave, wave] and quietly declaring that you're safe from me, so?"

"I mean, I mean, Mack Jr., I mean..."

"Or Mackie the babysitter! In a mini party dress!"

"Oh, I mean, I'm not saying out loud that it's a good look for you, Mack Jr. or anything, but listen..."

Hah! Mack Jr, could never pull off a babysitter gig mini like Mackie! And I'm just happy that I pulled it off since I'm not much of a party dress wearing kind of trans. Yet.

I mean, constant babbly without saying anything at all out loud is a win, am I right? And yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm ignoring that it was I who had to introduce the "babysitter" look into the under the breath conversation, but some old friends just have their own struggles, right? I mean, I chip in, so.

"So, I mean, Mackie Mack Jr., I mean..."

"OMG, Jason, just shut it with the meaningless babbling and listen, sheesh. I'm probably only going to stay about an hour and I think I've half way pulled off my look tonight, so, for a future non sexual trade, I'll trade in earnest for a couple of party photos of me tonight and it's that simple, so, without any pressure, I hope I can count on you, Jason."

See, folks? I don't ask for much, right? And notice that I did not even hint to Jason that any and all moments of me reaching up while on the balls of toes should be captured. I mean, I may have texted that to him, but I didn't embarrass him with, you know, real words, LOL.

"Happy birthday, Bruce, how does it feel to be the first to smack 21 on the ass, hmm?"

"SOB, Mack Jr., did I hire you as a babysitter or something because my little brother isn't here tonight!"

Huh, I should have started with Bruce then, right?

[Photo snap, photo snap]

"Oh, that comment question symbolically planted a kiss on your lips, Bruce! I mean, if a man such as yourself could handle a lip smack from a Mack Jr. and all, so?"

"Oh, sorry, Mackie, I mean, old habits, right? Um, so, those are your legs then, huh?"

Oh, one way or another, Bruce is going to taste my lips!

[Photo snap, photo snap]

"Ta da, but I know they are a tad thin, so, did the 'rents give you that fancy hunting trip out west for your 21st then, hmm, Bruce?"

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I should have given Bruce a twirl in my babysitter mini, but you know guys, right? Argh, argh, argh, not in front of the guys!

"Ugh, yeah, I mean, I'm being slightly judged for that, I think, but whatever, right, Mack, um Mackie?"

[Photo snap, photo snap]

Um, from Bruce's photos on his Chang account, I mean, he has the gear and a rifle with a scope on it and apparently, it's a thing to kneel down next to, um, something that is covered with fur and has horns.

I've never worn a furry outfit, not even Kitty Kat or Bunny ears, but I've knelt down plenty.

With a banana! And a couple of cucumbers. And maybe with plenty of bananas.

[Photo snap, photo snap]

"Well, Bruce, it's not your fault and I don't think you've lost any friends, so, you do you, right?"

"Um, can I do you, Mackie?"

[Photo snap of the babysitter passing out, photo snap]

Well, I had never heard it so direct before, so.

But it ended well because, you know, when you're the birthday boy, it doesn't take long before a couple of knuckleheads break things up with one of those head lock knuckle rubbing thingamabob things, right? I thought it was a noogie, but the red squiggly and scribbly line might suggest that I'm wrong about that, so, one of those boys will be boy's headlock things.

[Photo snap, photo snap]

"Tee he, those guys, right, Mack Jr.?"

"Oh, Sammy, I mean, it's a boys will be boy's rule, right? And the other new rule is if you refer to me as Mack or Mack Jr. ever again..."

"[Smack, smooch]"

"Oh, I mean, I mean, I'll blush and smack back [smooch], so?"

So, Sammy kissed better than my bed post, so, tee he, that's not say much, right? But dimensionally, his plants were prefect! And yeah, yeah, yeah, nobody ever referred to a kiss as "dimensionally perfect" before, so, shut it!

"Tee he, I just wanted to kiss the babysitter, tee he and trust me, I'll never refer to you Mack Jr. ever again, lover!"

Ugh! Lover, seriously? Sammy? Well, there were three hands at work. On one hand, at least Sammy recognized my babysitter look, but on the other hand, I mean, I'm pretty sure that Sammy has a human banana and I'm pretty sure that unlike my kitchen bananas, which do not go all "spew, spew, spew", I mean, his would, right? And on the third hand, I had my hand on the fake timer tone tab on my phone.

"(Ping, ping, ping, ping)"

"Oops, my time is up, Sammy, so, text me next week, okay?"

"Oh, Mackie, I mean, do you have a milk lady look too?"

Ahh, no! Well, I could pull off an over sized brown button shirt with big broad front pockets with cover flaps and a patch, so, maybe. But not with Sammy. Oh, and not because Sammy isn't handsome.

[Weep, incoming photo text]

Hmm, LOL, I totally pulled off the babysitter look! But I should have worn a hair barrette. A nice red one.

[Weep, another incoming photo text]

Okay, Jason is a bit of a pervert for lowering his phone camera that low, but it was, um, rated TV-19 or something, I guess.

[Weep, a third incoming photo text]

There it is, reaching for the chips in the upper cabinet on the balls of my toes! I like it.

[Weep, the photo texts keep coming]

"Jason!"

Well, if nothing else, the hint of the bottom of my rear globes should shut down and all references to Mack Jr., right? I mean, Mack has garage grease on his hands, right? And Mackie insists that a sex grease be used to, you know, do me!

And yeah, yeah, yeah, duh, I'm a prude. With nice globes.

"Smartass."

"You gave me permission, Mackie. Are you mad, now?"

"No, I did ask for it, but a couple of these photos look like they belong on a shopping mall creep shot website, so, fess up and show me the rest of them right now! And you know, forward the entire file to me, so?"

[Photo review, slide, photo review, slide, photo review, oops!]

"Ahem!"

"Tee he, I mean, it's a perfect made for a meme photo of you peeking into Bruce's bedroom with a leg lifted backwards and your face is, tee he, inside of his bedroom, so, it's legit, Mackie."

I mean, I just wanted to see how a guy with family cash kept his bedroom, that's all. And it was a made for meme quick flip of the dress in the back surprise sex scene photo.

"Did you filter my legs in all of these photos, Jason?"

"Nope, you have teenage girl legs and you've always had teenage girl legs and that's that, Mackie."

Well, tee he, I just wanted to him someone say it because nobody ever says to a "Mack" that his gams are all that, right? But I'm not exactly bragging about that because they are, um, not exactly shapeless, but you know, thin and straight, um, straighter, I guess.

[Photo review, slide, photo review, slide, photo review, huh?]

"You have photos of me from other times in your phone then, Jason?"

"Oh, oops [snatches phone away], show & tell is over, so, hey, there's the birthday boy!"

I mean, I don't even know why Jason ran off so quickly, especially since he forwarded the entire photo folder to me and trust me, re-read above, my boyfriends come from the veggie section at the grocery store and there are zero, zippo, nada, risqué photos of me anywhere. I mean, I dress and live as a girl, but there is a brick wall between me and the next steps. Even in my personal selfies folders.

But I did learn this. Ugh, I'm a fake girl who needs to figure out how to add a little thigh meat! Shapely thigh meat, of course.

[Clink, clink, clink]

"Tee he, grab one of these long neck boyfriends from my hand, babysitter, go ahead."

"Hillary [gently worms a long neck boyfriend from Hillary's ring accented fingers], shut it [glug]."

One glug, I'm not really much of a drinker.

"[Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug] ahh!"

"Oh, oh my then, I mean, stay away from my boyfriend then, so, Mackie Mack, now about how long before you sneak into Bruce's bedroom and wait for him, hmm?"

"Ah-hah! I mean [hic], about 45 seconds!"

Well, when I woke up a few hours later, which was in the wee hours of the morning, I mean, yep, there I was, in Bruce's bed. And pretty comfy too! And I stayed wake long enough to spy my babysitter dress flung over Bruce's bedroom desk chair and my undies on, so, I did what I had to do. I mean, you just heard me say that I was comfy, right? I mean, I was in someone's bed and I didn't feel violated and I was comfy, so, nighty night.

For a while anyways. And really, does anyone at all wake up clear headed that quickly, hmm?"

"Mackie, for the fourth time, scoot over."

And really, when someone scoots you by themselves, is there really any more scooting to do?"

"[Grumble] what, um, Bruce?"

"Scoot over and go back to sleep."

Really? Wake up and if you won't wake up from guzzling a beer, then I'll scoot over myself and still shake you to wake up? Seriously?

"Did you undress me, Bruce?"

[Shuffles around in the bed] no, that was Hillary and Shelia. They shoulder stagger walked you into my bedroom, but I think they fed you, so, um, keep scooting!"

Ha! Ha! I spied the two bananas on Bruce's bedroom desk!

I mean, continued scooting, right? It's exactly the same as snuggling up, right?

"It doesn't feel like you fucked me, Bruce, so?"

"Scoot over closer, Mackie! And I didn't fuck you. You were passed out and I'm not like that. Scoot!"

So, first of all, there was no getting closer and I mean there wasn't even an empty space that I should have made to accommodate his throbbing boner because, well, just because I didn't make a space for that heart beating thing. And second of all, I mean, somehow and I don't know how at all, but our legs seemed to have tied us together, so, second of all, that was amazing! And the best way to share body temperature.

And third of all, I guess there was still another scoot closer move that I hadn't thought of because Bruce sort of manhandle scooted me into a spooning position. Which was also amazing!

And fourth of all, ugh, I mean...

"But you're going to fuck me now, Bruce?"

I don't know. I brought it up and I wiggled my undies down and I did watch him roll a condom on, so, I don't know, I mean, Bruce took over from there, so, the end, I guess. Without any regrets, by the way.

Especially since it made his bed even more comfy afterwards.

But what I somewhat had a regret about later was the, um, the walk of shame, is it? Which I don't really get since I wasn't ashamed and even less ashamed since, whew, Bruce had left for work before I even moved in his bed again. And it's not like I took my sweet time redressing in the privacy of his cash fat bedroom or anything and snooped around, tee he. Not that I found anything good. I mean, some of his camo stuff looked cool, but I am not XXL by any stretch of the imagination.

And then who knew that it could get worse, right?

"Oh, good, you're here early [stuffs paper into the baby sitter's hand], honey, honey, the babysitter is here early, so, get a move on so we can finally be on time for Helen's Garden Tea party!"

"Oh, but Mrs. Banters, I mean..."

"Oh, sweetie, that's just a little extra cash for being early and by the way, my younger son in his impressionable years, so, maybe next time, sweetie, maybe a little longer dress, okay? Harold, get a move on!"

"Oh, but Mrs. Banters, I mean..."

"Oh, and the boys, you know, boys will be boys, so don't feel bad if they don't come out of basement because you know, video games rule the world, sweetie."

"Oh, but Mrs. Banters, I mean..."

"Also, sweetie, I mean, this is none of my business, but don't men like a little thigh meat these days, honey? I mean, raid the refrigerator, sweetie and don't be afraid to eat unhealthy once in a while."

"Oh, but Mrs. Banters, I mean..."

"Fine, there are bananas in the kitchen on the counter, Twiggy. Harold, get in it gear! Those damn Miller's keep one upping us!"

"Oh, but Mrs. Banters, I mean..."

"Have you met my older son, Bruce, sweets, hmm? He's becoming a real rough and tough outdoorsman and they say that opposites attract, so, um, one moment please while I scream, I mean, tell the boys in the basement that we're leaving [opens basement foyer door], Timmy, the babysitter is here and we'll be home in a couple of hours, okay?"

"Babysitter (you mean battle axe), Mom! We're (phew, phew, phew) not leaving the basement until we're 20 (phew, phew, phew) then!"

"Tee he, don't be such of a rush to have kids, sweet face, Harold, I'm losing my chance to be the first to show off my new sun hat in driveway with a chilly glass of tea in my hands! Get a move on! Oh, where was I sweetie, oh, my older son, who, just turned 21 yesterday, I mean, wild game meat will thicken those thighs up, sweet stuff, quick! Harold! Get with it!"

"Oh, but Mrs. Banters, I mean..."

"And I wouldn't normally say this to a possible future in-law, but you know how to sit and stretch out your smooth thighs for maximum effect, right, um, whacky Mackie wiki woo, was it?"

"Oh, but Mrs. Banters, I mean..."

"Shush and make yourself at home for the next couple of hours and oh, well now, it's about time, Harold! And we'll talk about your choice of a babysitter hire later (pervert!)"

"Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah (cough, cough, cough) honey (cough, cough, cough) honey I think I should stay..."

"(Damn fucking old pervert, that might be your future daughter in law. Move!)"

Tee he, so, LOL, people actually do drag other people out by the ear then, hmm? And it works!

[Knock, knock]

"Hello?"

"I'm Mrs. Battle Axe, the Sunday afternoon babysitter."

"Whew, and I'm out! Bye!"

"Oh, wait, I have a single son..."

Once in my life, right? LOL, I squealed my wheels.

And squealed in a bed once. LOL, ask me later if it a squeal of pleasure or pain.

End Mackie 01