Jealousy

"I'm sorry you feel that way Kev, it wasn't really like that, yes I suppose I knew Simon and I would end up in bed, the reason I didn't tell you was because I was too scared and embarrassed to talk about it."

"Sorry Liza, I don't believe you, nothing you say will convince me otherwise."

She sighed, "Well what happens now? How do we get past this? Perhaps we should really consider counselling?"

"I'm not going to counselling, some stranger gets to hear about all our problems, Christ most of them are charlatans."

"Well then smarty pants you tell me...what do we do?"

"I don't have an answer Liza, I am trying to forgive but I made it clear you were never to speak to him and you promised to accept my decision."

Nodding she moaned, "Yes I know and I do accept it, but last night...what was I supposed to do, he joined our group."

"You just had to walk away, you didn't have to be mean or nasty...just walk away, it was simple. Well that is if there's nothing going on, but after watching him hanging all over you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear I'm not so sure that's the case."

"Bloody hell." She snarled..."Honey I told you, there's nothing going on."

"Is that like the promise you made never to talk to him? It seems to me Liza that lies flow from your mouth so easily I don't know what to believe."

She slumped back in the sofa and brought her hands up to wipe the tears that rolled down her cheeks, "I'm sorry Kev, I really am, I was in such a happy space last night, things between you and me have been so good lately and I had a few drinks, it was a wonderful evening and when Simon came up beside me I was surprised but in a good way, I know you will hate me for saying this but I like him he was a good friend to both of us before that night and I have missed him. When he put his hand over my shoulder I just accepted it."

"You got part of it right, I hated that. Now I don't know what to say. I think we might truly be at the end of the road."

She leaned against me her body wracked with sobs, shuddering terribly she sniffled, "I'm sorry Kev."

"Yeah me to."

She leaned over to kiss me but when I leaned away from her she climbed up and went to finish dinner. We ate in one of those cold uncomfortable silences before she muttered, "I think I might go and spend some time with my sister."

I nodded putting up no argument. It would be the first Christmas we had ever spent apart.

The next day she packed a few bags and I helped her pack the car. She kissed me before climbing in, "I'll miss you Kev...Merry Christmas."

I gave her a hug, "Enjoy your stay."

With tears rolling slowly down her cheeks she drove off and I returned to the apartment. Unlike her I couldn't just not go to work, at least she had flexible hours.

The days leading up to Christmas were lonely. I jogged every night, I went to the gym I did everything I could to stay active but it was terrible. I missed her like crazy. The night before Christmas Eve I was busily working over our finances when there was a knock on the door.

When I opened it there was Denise and Simon, "Oh fuck, what do you two want? Come to gloat have you?"

They both looked shocked by my attack, "No we want to talk Kevin." Denise spluttered, "God almighty...what is there to gloat about?"

"Well you set out to break up my marriage and at this point it's mission accomplished."

"You bloody numbskull." She groaned, "That's the last thing we wanted to do, believe it or not we like you."

"Yeah well you sure have a strange way of showing it."

"Can we come in please?" She muttered, "There's already enough gossip about what's going on."

I opened the door properly and they walked in.

"OK what do you want?"

Denise started, "Kevin I talked to Liza and she told me what you said. We came here tonight to put things straight. There is nothing sexual going on between Liza, Simon or me. The other night was the first time Simon has even spoken to her since that bloody night."

Simon jumped in before I could say anything, "Kevin, I apologise, it was wrong of me to approach Liza the way I did but I have missed you guys, I thought we were real friends. I hoped that we could talk and I thought the full on approach was the best way to get past it. I apologise because I obviously got it wrong."

"Yeah you got it wrong alright." I grumbled, "You've said your peace, time to go."

Denise shook her head, "No we aren't finished yet, "You are behaving like a bloody jealous insecure moron Liza loves you and she's broken arsed at the moment. I have spoken to her every day and she is really broken, she misses you badly, she feels alone and abandoned."

"Sorry but I guess that's what happens when you cheat."

Simon snapped, "Nobody cheated, I have never cheated in my life, I accept we could, no should have done things differently, made sure we were all on the same page, but it wasn't done maliciously, it wasn't done to deceive or trick you. It was just a misunderstanding."

I turned back to Denise and snarled, "You knew from the moment I answered the door that night and you let me take you on that stupid date knowing all the time what was happening."

She sighed, "In some ways you're right. Yes I knew what was going to happen between Liza and Simon, that was obvious to all of us, even you if you're honest. I didn't know what was going to happen between you and me. I hoped that I could still rescue the night, I hoped once we were alone together I hoped that you would see how much fun we could have, this will sound big headed but I'm not used to hearing no."

Simon picked up the assault, "Kevin you may not agree with our lifestyle but we never cheat, we never get involved unless everybody is on-board. The mistake we made is how anti you were. We never expected that reaction. We, well I expected once Denise had you alone she would work her magic and you would fall under her charms."

"Yeah well you misread that, you've said your piece now if you would please just leave me alone."

They exchanged glances before Denise groaned, "Kev...give Liza a call please, if you don't let all this anger go you will lose her. Put away your damn male pride."

With a gloomy sulking glare I grumbled, "I think you need to go, you've had your say."

She jumped into my arms catching me by surprise, her arms circling my head tightly, tears flowing like raindrops, "Kev don't fuck this up, don't let one mistake that wasn't even her fault destroy a wonderful marriage. Si and I thought you guys were so happy and so in love. We both said that's what we want from our marriage to be like you guys, happy and so into each other. Liza loves you so much please don't let our mistake ruin that."

When she released me from her death lock Simon grabbed me and hugged me, "Kevin, this is our fault, we fucked up, please do not let this be the end. I have never seen a couple who were so meant to be together. Call her, get her back."

He released me, I stood there completely taken by surprised, and the other night I could have killed the miserable bastard. As they turned to walk away they both turned and said, "Merry Christmas Kevin."

Sighing I replied, "Yeah Merry Christmas to you as well."

I slammed the door shut and went back to feeling sorry for myself. I knew deep down that Liza wasn't seeing Simon, I was just venting trying to make her feel guilty.

Denise was right I was behaving like a fool, a jealous stupid fool. I was risking losing the one thing in my life I didn't want to lose.

I paced around and kicked the table, punched the wall. Damn it I loved that woman so damned much. I made a decision I collected together what camping gear we had and some clean clothes stuffed into my knapsack and tossed the lot in my car. It was Christmas eve so the shops were still open. I brought a new tent and sleeping bags, fire fighters, water canteens, a blow up air mattress and some good hiking boots and suitable clothing.

It was back in the car and a two hour drive before I pulled up in Liza's sister's driveway.

When I knocked on the door it was with trepidation. She might be angrier than me, she might not want to see me?

The door opened and Kate Liza sister opened the door. When she saw me she pulled me into a tight hug, "Oh thank god, Kev it's so nice to see you. Liza is going to be so happy." She gave me a huge kiss and led me inside. When Liza saw me she sprinted and leapt into my arms throwing us both back against the door frame.

She covered my face in kisses and sobbed.

Kates kids came out and I hugged them all handing over presents for them all to put under the tree. Kate asked, "Are you staying?"

I shrugged, "Actually I was hoping to steal your sister away if you'll let her go?"

She laughed, what it's to late for you to drive back and Liza's car is here as well."

"Actually Kate I have the car packed with camping gear and I wanted to whisk her away. I will send a tow truck for her car."

Liza kissed me again, "Thank you Kev, yes please."

Kate kissed us all goodbye and we hit the road. As we pulled out onto the highway she sprouted, "Oh my god stop, I haven't got you a gift."

I laughed, Oh you will be giving me my gift later, I just hope the air mattress will handle it."

She chuckled, "So where are we going?"

"Lake Coleridge for a week of camping and hiking."

"But I don't have any gear?"

"You do now, sorry to spoil your Christmas, that's what I got you."

The next week went quickly we swum, we hiked and we made love like we were twenty again. Liza tried to talk about or problems but I shushed her, "No not till after the holiday, let's not spoil this week."

In many ways I was scared to open that particular Pandora's box. I knew it had to come eventually but I wanted some fun before we slipped into that quicksand.

When we finally got home we were tired but happy. I was afraid once we walked in the door the spell would be broken and everything would go back to the way it was.

We had barely put the bags down before Liza yelled, "I'm having a bath, a nice long soak in boiling water, don't call me for an hour."

True to her word she went straight in and ran her bath. I took her in a couple of glasses of wine while she soaked just to keep her mood going. Later we ate and the silence did settle over us but it wasn't uncomfortable it was relaxed right up until Liza asked, "So what happens now?"

"Well I think we try to put it all behind us and try and keep going forward. The last week has been wonderful, I think we feed off that."

She smiled, "I love you Kev."

We tried we really did but away on holiday it was easy, back home with all the gossip and rumour mongering we argued and as much as I tried I couldn't hide from the fact I was still angry and every time we fought I kept going back to that night and my feelings of betrayal.

It was after one such fight when Liza threw it out there, "Kev, I can't live like this. Every time we fight you throw that night back in my face, it's obvious you haven't fully got over the jealousy or anger, it's there all the time, I see it in your face."

"I'm trying honey I really am, just sometimes it gets the better of me."

"Yeah well it's not fair, the solution is simple...it's what we should have done right from the outset. You have to sleep with Denise that way the books will be balanced and you will not be able to take it out on me all the time."

I choked back a laugh, "Don't be silly Liza, there's no way she would sleep with me even if I wanted to."

"Oh you want to, I saw your eyes from the first time we met them, it's alright I'm not mad, she's beautiful, I understand it."

"I have never hidden from the fact that she's an attractive woman, but like I said after what's happened between us she's never going to go for that."

"You're wrong Kev, she feels for that night. She has told me many times that she was disappointed that night, she was as eager as the rest of us. She wants a proper date, the one she missed out on."

"Liza I'm not sleeping with her."

"Why not? You obviously want to and I want you to."

"Yeah and what would you be doing while we were out on this date?"

She shrugged, I don't know, I haven't exactly planned that far ahead, you might have to go to a hotel or something."

"So you're going to sit here twiddling your thumbs while we're off doing the dirty?"

"No, what I will be doing is pacing around chewing my nails wondering if you will want to come back after being with such a beautiful young sexy woman."

I laughed, "Stop searching for compliments. You are a beautiful gorgeous woman, Denise is a girl. You are what she aspires to be."

She hugged me, "Kev this has to happen, it's the right thing to do then everything is equal."

Shaking my head I muttered, "I think you're crazy but I'll think about it."

"What's there to think about, your wife just gave you permission to go and have sex with the a beautiful sexy woman, no questions asked, no recriminations."

"That's easy for you to say Liza, but what happens afterwards and you find yourself feeling exactly the way I do, angry, frustrated, and humiliated...what happens then?"

"You and I are different people, I don't feel the way you do. That night I wondered if you were doing what we were doing and it excited me, I didn't feel jealousy."

"Yeah but it might be different just sitting home alone."

"I don't care this is what I want and I don't want to hear about two wrong or anything. This is what was supposed to happen in the first place."

"I'm making no promises apart from I will think about it."

There was no rest from her assault. Every day she harangued me and in the end I gave up and agreed to go through with it. When I asked her how we should work this she laughed, "I'm not acting as your pimp, you will have to do all the hard work yourself."

"Jesus Liza I can hardly just walk over there and ask Simon if I can bang his wife."

She rolled around the bed laughing, "You're not getting off that lightly buddy boy she wants the whole date, dinner dancing and of course some loving, but you have to do it. What I can do is give you her mobile number and you can do the rest."

She loaded her number in my phone and watched as we sat there, "Well hurry up."

I chuckled, "Sorry...not happening while you're sitting there watching."

She giggled, "Shy are we?"

"Look Liza, I'm not that comfortable with this, I said I'll think about it that's all."

She shook her head in a disbelieving shimmy, "I was only joking Kev, she's expecting your call."

"Yeah well when and if I decide it's a good idea I'll give her a call."

It became our daily ritual every time I got home from work Liza asked, "Well...what did she say?"

I kissed her and replied sweetly, "I haven't called her."

It became a bit of a game between us. The real problem was I wasn't convinced. Yes she was beautiful, yes she was sexy and there was no hiding from my desire to do exactly that but what happened if it turned to shit, I knew there would be no coming back if that happened.

It took two weeks before the recurring dreams, fantasies if you like and Liza's constant needling took their toll and I called her.

She answered in her sweet sexy voice and for a moment I lost my nerve, it took several long moments of her asking, "Hello...hello...hello before I answered,

"Hi Denise, it's Kevin I was wondering if you are busy this Friday night?"

She sighed thoughtfully, "Nothing planned, why do you ask?"

"Well I was wondering if you would like to go out on a date?"

The sound of silence echoed through the connection, in the end I had to ask, "Are you still there?"

She murmured, "I don't know what to say Kevin, I will have to talk to Simon, see what he says."

I couldn't tell if she was toying with me or serious so I replied quickly, "No worries, give me a call if you are interested, goodbye Denise." I hung up straight away a nervous wreck there were so many thoughts running through my head, maybe Liza had got the wrong end of the stick? Maybe she just wanted me to make a fool of myself.

A few minutes later my phone rang and it was Denise, "Kevin you are too serious, you don't give a girl a chance...I was just joshing I would love to go out with you but please tell me we aren't going to the movies."

I laughed, "We are going out to dinner and dancing."

With a sweet velvety smoothness she asked, "And then what happens?"

"I guess we will have to wait and see won't we."

In a serious voice she added, "Kev we can't come back here, Simon will be home."

"Denise if we get to that stage we will see, if you are serious I'll book a hotel room."

She giggled, "That sounds like a good idea, let's be positive...book the room."

Jesus I couldn't believe I was doing this, I was going on a date."

When I got home Liza had a huge grin on her face, "Lucky I didn't have something planned for Friday night isn't it."

"Hey this was your idea."

She kissed me, "I was only teasing honey, thank you."

"Holy shit my wife just thanked me for arranging a sexy date with another woman...

Friday raced around quickly, the preceding days Liza was on a mission to make sure my balls were drained for Friday night, we hadn't made love that often for a very long time. It was amazing but worrying. Yes I'm like every other bloke, competitive and I knew I would be compared with Simon and I was worried especially after the three days leading up to the date.

Liza laughed when I complained, "Blimey love...fancy you moaning about too much sex...never thought I would see that day."

As I was getting ready to go out she leaned in close and gave me a big kiss, "Relax tonight and enjoy yourself, oh you better take these." She handed me a packet containing several condoms. Shit that was handy because I hadn't even considered them.

She also slipped me something else from her other hand, "Hon if you think you need them Simon gave me these for you." When I opened my hand there were two little blue pills.

"What the hell are these?"

She giggled, "Well you complained that I wore you out, you don't have to use them if you don't want to."

As I walked out into the corridor Denise emerged she gave me a sexy little kiss as we walked to the elevator

She snuggled up against me in the cab and her sexy lips suckled on my ear, "Where are we going spunky?"

"A secret I'm afraid you'll have to wait."

We arrived at the restaurant ordered drinks and were just seated when she asked, "Are you going to tell me why you changed your mind?"

"I didn't change my mind so much as I folded under the constant haranguing from Liza, this is her idea."

She frowned, "Do you not find me attractive at all, I mean since we met you have pushed me away."

"Denise you are a particularly attractive sexy woman and I have had to exert a lot of self-control. I come from a time when real men do not cheat and when we marry we marry for life. I never once thought about cheating on Liza. The way you and Simon live isn't something I could do."

"I guess we better make the most of tonight then." She purred.

Strangely the conversation flowed easily and we had a pleasant dinner, lots of drinks and sexy banter. Denise and I had always got on well together, from the first time we met, conversation seemed easy and unforced. Tonight was no exception.

By the time we got to the club we were both feeling pretty happy. I got us some drinks from the bar and we found a table. Denise whispered, "You know I thought it was a bit mean making Liza sit at home by herself, I thought you might have suggested Simon could keep her company."

That annoyed me and I frowned, "This was her idea not mine, she wanted to balance the books.

She shrugged, "Well I just thought it would be a nice gesture on your behalf."

The band started just at that moment and the tense exchange finished when she asked, "Am I getting a dance lesson then?"