All Comments on 'Jeanie Jean Ch. 01'

Character expansion is a good thing to do and you do have a stack of available characters at your disposal.

There are still requirements for a proof reader, as I have mentioned previously. Perhaps the addition of an editor is past due? Your control of tense makes it difficult to read parts of your stories.

Examples follow. I really do want you to succeed with your writing, I am trying to improve your writing with you.

. . . the look in her eyes were priceless - was priceless because look is singular.

. . . She was had me - ?

. . . a lesson learned - ? This does not fit . . .

I seen that one coming - second time in this story, please use saw as the past tense of see.