Kelli Kneads 01

Hi, I'm representing Kelli Kneads tonight and I'm happy to announce that I managed to hold on to a couple of friends after the word got around that Kent was living a lie. I'm also announcing that it was funny how all my other friends didn't dump me until they got a look at me as Kelli. Sadly, the ticket line for the last showing of the freak show wasn't very long, but they all bought a ticket, took a few digs at me and left me behind in the circus tent.

Well, all except for Pete. Pete bought three or four tickets for the freak show, but that's because he's a closet faggot and he wanted secret sex. I mean, it was nice to be wanted and desired, but seriously, only after 3 am and no cameras? To show that I was actually a good person, I refunded his tickets price and directed him to the Cottonwood Street Alley where the Middleton Tranny's work, I mean hang out after midnight.

Anyways, my small circle of two friends tolerated me and we developed a routine of rotating game nights to stay in touch, which was something that I needed. Unfortunately, Jay and Leo had their limits and requested advance notice if I planned on showing up at their places as Kelli Kneads, which I did to keep the peace. Fortunately, that seemed to be a waste of time because neither of them ever said "no, not tonight" and I was able to pay my visits in the manner that I wanted to. But it felt like a win for them and I had no issue with, you know, asking their permission. Besides, it was just every three weeks or so and Kelli got to drive on Elm Street and Oakdale Street, so it was a win for me too.

It was pretty standard when I hosted the evening. I served them while they sat on the couch in front of the flat screen, which means they always ended up sitting on the floor and then I served them some more and sat in the arm chair.

Things were much different when they hosted game night. I served them, but they started out sitting on the floor to play the games and I sat on the Love Seat. In their words, the difference was night and day.

Hah, not at Leo's place, there was no difference. Serve, sit, serve. But at Jay's house, there was an occasional difference. His cousin, Andy, would stop by once in a while during the summer because he was in between semesters at Coastal. He was nice, it was great to see another face and it was amazing to hear another voice. And unlike Jay and Leo, he never asked me to cut the Super Sub Sandwich in diagonal slices. Andy liked his cut into triangles, which was also a refreshing change. Which left me with a bunch of weird shaped pieces of Sub to eat.

My mistake was not flinching when Andy patted me on the butt as he took his plastic plate full of the cutest Sub triangles ever! I mean, it was only on Jay's game night and it felt casual, but I suppose I should have flinched. However, when I didn't flinch the first time, I had to hold firm all the other times, right? Besides, it wasn't that many times due to our house rotation theme and I wear a lot of Denim, so I barely felt it. Oh, by the way, all of that was Andy's logic, not mine. If I could barely feel it, then it never happened.

Anyways, the summer went on, our rotating theme continued and all seemed well enough. And by that, I mean Kelli Kneads needed friends and they were there for me.

And then one day, by complete surprise and out of the blue, Andy showed up at my house when it was my turn to host, which meant he could have caught me in a way too casual manner of dress. Luckily for me, Jay gave me advance notice and I had three days to find a suitable outfit to wear for his surprise visit. And because Andy had mentioned that although Denim looks good on me, it's a bit stiff, so I found a nice loungewear matching outfit that was quite soft and forgiving.

Oh, and because he attended Coastal, I carried the Coastal theme all the way and painted most of my nails black and painted each middle digit bronze. And never mind about my selected undies, but they also followed the Teal, Black and Bronze theme, not that anyone would ever know that.

Oh, and never mind that I had enough advance notice of his surprise visit to darken my hair in the bathroom sink, which by the way is messy as hell, but it never goes orange on you.

And by all that, I mean please, concentrate on my outfit and my hair because my experimental facial makeover came out a little darker than I expected. I mean, a true goth girl wouldn't be caught dead in such a colorful and striped casual suit, right?

And then something changed and it was a big change. Jay and Leo skipped the couch all together and sat on the floor crossed legged right from the start, which left the couch open. I took that to mean that they smoked a blunt on the way over and took that opportunity to have Andy take a seat on the couch.

Which doesn't sound like a big deal, except I guided him by his hand and scooted him towards the center of the couch seat so he could see the flat screen between Jay's and Leo's heads.

"I like your outfit, Kelli. It looks fresh and bright. Is it new?"

"Oh, this old thing? I found it in the wash. Six triangles tonight?"

"Sounds right. Ah, the colors of your nails look familiar. Is that for me?"

"Inside and outside. Kick back and relax for a few minutes. Maybe you'll join me in the kitchen after the food arrives. By the way, watch what you say, their headsets are not all that sound proof."

He lingered as he let my hand slip out of his, which made me think about what kind of games he wanted to play tonight.

"I'll bring a round of drinks and a bowl of chips."

And I did just that and placed down the three beers and the bowl of chips on the coffee table and took the opportunity to sort of just fall back on the couch right next to Andy. I mean, with Jay and Leo sitting on the floor, there was only so much space to see the TV screen and I already placed Andy dead center, so I had to move in close.

"Oh, this is cozy, isn't it, Kelli Kneads?"

"Well, I was chilly in these thin shorts and your body heat feels nice. Who is winning?"

"I believe that would be me. So, when you say inside and out, what's that mean?"

"I suppose it means you're still winning. Oops, there's the door. Triangles and diagonal slices coming up."

I didn't mean to use his leg to launch me off the couch, but I definitely used his leg as a launching pad and definitely knew that he probably was winning the game.

"Oh, hey Brie, right on time. How much?"

"It's more this time, so, you have a date or something? $27."

"Yeah, sort of, or just an extra player. Keep the change."

"Thanks. Do you know what you're doing? Cute outfit by the way, you know, for a Saturday afternoon garden party. Did it come with batteries? Ugh, sorry, I didn't mean that. Do you know what you're doing?"

"Um, no, not exactly and your summer CD Sex Ed courses were full. But, he's a college guy, so he knows what's he doing, right? Call me soon."

"Ah, a college guy, huh? Here, just in case and have him double up."

Oh, four lubricated condoms? Great, more stuff for my junk drawer, right? I mean, my bedroom junk drawer, but a junk drawer just the same.

"Need any help in here, Kelli Kneads?"

"I got it babe. I mean Andy. Hey, do I look like I'm going to a garden party to drink sun tea?"

Oh, I don't remember saying that he should take a closer look, but maybe his eye sight isn't 20-20 or something because for the first time in my fem life, I had a pair of arms wrapped around me and he had me pulled in very tight and close to his warm body.

"Well, and here I was agreeing with you when you said that we were cozy on the couch!"

"You said you were chilly and I'm just doing my part to warm you up."

"And I'm not complaining about that, but when I said to watch what you say because their headsets are cheap, I didn't mean to message me in Morse Code. However, if dot-dot, dash-dash-dash, dot-dot means that you have a throbbing boner in Morse Code, then you should finish the message to let me know that you know who you're horny for. We haven't really talked about that yet."

Apparently, he was alright with my roleplaying character, I think. I couldn't keep up with the speed of his dots and dashes, but his message was clear.

"Do you have any condoms in the house, Kelli Kneads?"

"Whoa, no, ah, none, none whatsoever and don't double check my response. I only have junk in my two junk drawers. Go have a seat and let me finish cutting up the Super Sub. However, before you release me, I may require one more Morse Code message, you know, just to confirm that you understand who is under all this makeup and in the garden party sun tea servant leisure suit."

Huh, I guess he does want a sun tea and I guess I'll never wear this colorful outfit again after 3 pm or whatever the Southern Belle Garden Party rules are. I managed to break free of his embrace and finished slicing up the Sub and headed into the living to serve the guys.

"Guys? Guys! Diagonal slices for the floor players and cute tiny triangles for the guy who knows Morse Code. So, which of you is winning?"

"Thanks for the Sub slices, but cut the chatter. The two of you are not as sneaky as you think you are. We set this evening up and Leo and I don't mind if you two, you know, have a little alone time. Take advantage of that or don't. Just get us another beer. Oh, and that's all that needs to be said about the subject. Leo and I did not agree to get involved in a gossip session. Do what you will, you know, with all that Morse Code and stuff."

"Alright, a few brews coming up and I guess I'll shut it."

Hah, I can't wait for the next event at my house! I'll serve alright and I'll serve them in some stupid little black costume with and apron and I'll carry a napkin to wipe the corners of their mouth! I mean, that will show them, right?

"Take your time eating your triangles, Andy. I need a few minutes to exchange a few texts with my friend Brie and then do a little math."

"Math?"

"Ah, I definitely need to do some math. I have to listen to her instructions, divide by 10, carry the 3, subtract 4 and then probably smack my head against the wall so I get a headache. I won't be long."

I hid in my bedroom and ran the math over and over in my head, but no matter how times I "accidently" moved the decimal point to the wrong place, the answer still came out as "Morse Code message received and accepted" in one form or another. And then I thought of a way out. I appreciated that my friends were trying to help me out, but I couldn't do anything while they were in same house, so that was my way out. No funny business with the guys in the other room, right?

Just as I exited my bedroom to announce my position to Andy, I ran straight into him in hallway.

"Oops, oh, there you are Andy. Listen, I believe that something may happen between us in the future, but it's a little soon and the guys are just in the other room and I suck at math and you understand, right?"

"Um, the guys left and I'm going back to Coastal in about three weeks, so I'll have plenty of math soon enough. What else do you have?"

"Whoa, ah, I'm a rookie. A very pure rookie."

"Oh, a rookie who has bookmarked favorite videos? Some would say instruction videos, right? Anyways, I know what we're getting into, I'm asking for us to sit on the couch again, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada, bring me a beer please."

"Well, it's yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah, but whatever. I suppose we can hang out for a while longer, you know, just as long as I don't lose my server status."

"LOL, that's the only thing you're not lose, rookie!"

I was worried that he would want to spend the night and then I wasn't because guy's like to blow and go, right?

I was worried that he would find those condoms I hid in the drawer and then I wasn't because guy's like to blow and go and there was no other time to spend snooping, right?

I was worried that he wouldn't call me and then I wasn't because guy's like to blow and go again within a few days, right?

Anyways, I can handle seeing a movie with him and he's only in town for another three weeks, right? Which may or may not be just enough time to learn Morse Code.

I'll talk to you guys later. Dot-dot-dash-dot-dot.

End Kelli Kneads 01