Jem Gem Ch. 08

Jem Gem 08

"Look, Jem Gem, I'm just a simple cell phone repair guy, so I don't know about such fancy parties. Also, do you and that tall guy just kiss like that then?"

"Oops, I didn't realize that you caught that, Jacob. I mean, I just see things as lips are lips, so. Anyways, that's Bing-Bong, but I'm not his Bing-Bong Boyfriend, I promise you that. I mean, I pecked you on the cheek as you entered my house, so."

"Yeah, but the lady out front said that it's a diva thing and that I shouldn't read too much into it. Also, I mean, is Pete a front porch ornament now with that collar, chain and body harness? Also, ewe, Pete in body harness, so seriously?"

"Well, Pete found out about sex with House Mom Mable, so. Anyways, it's not a fancy mixer, well, it's a famous mixer, but just hang around for a while and you know, mingle a bit, alright Jacob?"

"Well, can I be weirded out with the shortness of your shorts then, Jem Gem? I mean, I'm saying you look bad, but that's Chang behind closed or something, isn't it?"

"Well, I mean, as each week passes, right? I mean, less and less people pitch a bitch about stuff, so you be weirded out for seeing me like this for the first time, but don't make it too weird and by that, I mean it's getting weird with how my belly button is your main focus. I mean, everyone has one, so."

"(I missed so much back in gym class then.)"

"What, Jacob?"

"Oh, I mean, I miss slamming Jim down to ground in Wrestling, so. Also, are you at least going to give me hint or two then, Jem Gem?"

"Oh, I mean, only a diva would direct love traffic at a mixer, but if you feel like you're closing in on having maybe a Repair Girlfriend, well, don't be shy about things and all, so. Also, be careful to not mix up between G Gina G and Gina G, so. I mean, G Gina G has dark hair and Gina G has dark hair, so."

"Oh, well, that simplifies things then. Anyways, you lured me here and I'm here, so I'll stay for a while, but where do I put the tube of denture cream? Is there a gift table or something, Jem Gem?"

Well, I mean, no there wasn't a gift table, I just put House Mom Mable's denture cream tubes on the little table by the front door, that's all. Also, I couldn't even remember which Gina had her sights set on Jacob, so I hoped that worked itself out.

"Well, there it is, Jem Gem, you're trending again! However, there seems to be a side hash tag that I don't know how you pulled off or even if you can live up to it, so fess up."

"Oh, um, listen Josh, that wasn't my doing, but you know that little Brie! I mean, Brie can't handle that all of the popular action is happening over here, so he promised to drag Suzie out from behind the counter of the Pizza Shop and bring her along if I ordered through her tonight, but you know that's only for like ten minutes, right?"

"Oh, I mean, Brie might need help carrying all the containers inside then, right?"

"Well Josh, I think you've "helped" him before, so. Also, Brie said that he would have his platinum blonde hair tonight, so. Also, I mean, his tip, right, don't forget Brie's tip, so."

Oh, Josh had a tip for Brie, alright! But more importantly, LOL, I didn't have to spend so much time peeling chicken meat from the bones, so.

"Another great mixer, Jem Gem. Also, those shorts are a little small, so?"

"Do you really think so, Nadine?"

"Well, I mean, they seem to scream the word "medium" and like in vivid color, so? And by the looks of them, I mean, they're barely more than undies, so maybe you should just slip a pair of your Denim shorts over them, maybe. I mean, that's something I would wear just out a shower while home alone."

"Well, I don't want to be a show off diva, so."

"Just give me the electronic code to the new electronic lock that you apparently installed on your bedroom door then and I'll pick you a nice of shorts out, so?"

"Well, it's 1-0-2-5, but you can't remember it, so. I mean, since the ex-roomie, Evie got pregnant from wearing cling wrap dresses and moved in with Randy, I mean, I'm trying to keep my bedroom as my neat and clean castle, so."

"Oh, 1025, that's the same date as your October mixer then. Anyways, Karla might be talking with that Hawkeye guy just on the patio, so?"

"Well, people mingle at mixers, Nadine, so."

"Oh, I mean, I know that you love her, so I'm just checking that you're giving her permission to play the field until you switch back, that's all, so. And she loves you too, but it's only fair that she can play the field until you switch back too, so."

"Well, nobody is in love with anyone and I hear the commotion of the pizza and garlic fries, so."

Huh, I never did my change of shorts, LOL, or should I say my addition of Denim shorts.

"Brie!"

"Diva!"

See, folks? Nobody loves anyone, so.

"Well, Josh is excited to see you anyways, Brie, so."

"Hah, I'm Spartacus, so everyone is excited to see me, Gem Jem!"

"It's Jem Gem!"

"Whatever, is there mouth wash in your bathroom?"

"Well, I knew you were coming, Brie, so."

Stupid actual popular Tranny of Middleton! And his need for mouthwash all the time! With his stupid platinum blonde spiked hair!

"Come on inside, Jimmy J, just for a quick minute. I mean, I have a stash of vodka and all, so?"

"Um, Jem Gem, is that code for Brie needs the backseat of my ride then?"

"Well, just give him a minute to be Josh's Spartacus Boyfriend, alright? Besides, you can come inside and lean against the wall with a glass of vodka and make sure that none of guys are finger banging, I mean groping, I mean talking to closely to your woman, Suzie, so?"

Hah! Like Jimmy J could see his girlfriend, Suzie through the circle of guy she attracted. Also, huh, is all that finger twirling on the bottom of her chin with a smirky smile a thing?

"I mean, hey."

"OMG, Robbie! What are you doing here at my famous mixer then? Oh, and forgive me, I can't bring myself to call you Slither, so."

[Hugs. Ah, more hugs?]

"Well, Jimmy."

"Oops, it's Jem Gem now, so."

"Oh, um, well, Jem Gem, I mean, this place was trending on social media and I was nearby, so."

[Seriously, what's with all the hugging? What happened at the lake that day then?]

"Oh, mingle then, I mean, have some pizza, have some garlic fries, have a root beer or a real beer and then explain just what the hell you think you were doing in the lake that one day last summer????"

"Oh, are we going to argue about who played back then, Jem Gem?"

"Oh, I was implying that you may have given up too soon, but that was last year and I'm reformed now, so."

"Well, viva la reformed short shorts then, Jem gem, so. Also, you've trimmed up a bit, since then, so."

"Oh, I was just on my way to change, so."

Wait, wait, I mean, did Robbie just say that I carried a little extra weight last summer? Well, he followed me into my bedroom, so I would ask him about that, if I had a chance!

"Oops, I mean, Jem Gem, there are people in your bed and what an ooh la, la bed!"

"Oh, um, guys, this is one of my oldest friends, Robbie, known by some as Slither. Um, Robbie, this is my ex-Banana Split Girlfriend, Karla and this is the leader of the Forgotten, Hawkeye, who owes me like 100 apologizes for doubting my magical mixers. And on the other side of bed the is the cool people cheer leader Nadine, who has also recently become my financial manager and her partner, Frank, who once showed me how good sex can be by absolutely destroying Nadine while I laid beside them and watched, but not in voyeur way, but it was very hypnotic how I could not stop watching Nadine float away into total sexual bliss with her body flinging all about. Also, I'm noy quite that way, but Frank's performance and visible body movements were very educational and probably, well, certainly not duplicable by someone like me and the rumors that my hands may have wandered about may or may not be true, but my state was not of a normal state, so."

"Wow, Jem Gem."

"Where did all that come from, Jem Gem?"

"Jem Gem isn't wrong about that night being the best ever, so."

"Can you repeat that part about me again, Jem Gem?"

LOL, right?

"Ah, Jem Gem, I'm never missing another one of your mixers ever again!"

"Robbie, the only time in my life that I considered real sex was watching when Frank went all man with Nadine, so."

"I mean, how did that go, then, Jem Gem?"

"I mean, I'm improvising a little, but it went something like this one night when I dressed like Nadine so that I switch places with her so she could sneak out to Frank's van and finally have good sex because her cool people boyfriends, although very handsome, tend to be duds in the bedroom. And you know, I'll just skip over what happened when I slipped into Nadine's house to replace her in the dark, so."

[Story recapping]

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, oof, oof, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"Ooh, ooh, oh Frank, make a real woman out of me Frank, oof, oof, oh, grind that, Frank, slam me."

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, oof, oof, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"Nadine, Nadine, Nadine."

"I'll take it, Frank, I'll take it."

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, oof, oof, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"Oh, oh, Frank, a second wind then, so, ooh, oh, Frank, oh Frank, you found the spot, baby, oh, OMG."

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, oof, oof, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"Oh, ooh, this is so good, Frank, oh, well hello there, Jem Gem! Ooh, oh, are you enjoying how Frank is making my naked legs flip flop around, sugar cane? Ooh, ooh, um, hmm, that's the stuff!"

"Well, yeah, I am, Nadine, but Frank is doing you raw and I need you to be able to least walk back into your house, so."

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, oof, oof, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"Oh, he's doing me raw alright and ooh, ooh, he's fat dicking me crazy, Jem Gem, but cool people guys are duds in the bed, Jem Gem. Besides, every woman should be long dicked raw at least once, so, OMG, OMG, slide away Jem Gem or get wet!"

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, oof, oof, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

[Legs swinging all about]

"OMG, Frank, blow already!"

"Hmmm, let him blow up your skirt, Jem Gem. Just flip around and point it at him. LOL, he'll find a target."

"Well, we can forget that last part about letting Frank make my undies under my skirt all icky and stuff, so. You had to be there to know the extreme heat of the moment, so."

Oh, um, let's see, in front of me were big wide eyes from Hawkeye, an amazement stare from Karla, and that's just barely an embarrassed look from Nadine, but just barely and LOL, a big fat grin from Frank! Also, LOL, a big smirky smile from Nadine who relished with the recapping of her best sex ever.

"How are you not fucking Gem Jem right now, Robbie?"

"My lungs are frozen from that recap! I mean, was that a true story?"

"Every word and oddly enough, every word for word and I'm not ashamed!"

"And you shouldn't be! You should write a book with all that!"

"Well, he came into his bedroom to change shorts, Robbie, so make him naked."

Well, I mean, the recapping of the story even stunned me too, so my beach shorts certainly were removed and I did find myself up against the wall, but I don't think I want to talk about things anymore, so. Other than I think I have said that body heat feels amazing.

End Jem Gem 08