Jill's World Ch. 06

"I just borrowed her, Nips. Helped her figure things out. You should thank me. See you Thursday." She laughed and started up her motorcycle. I never turned back.

My resolve was crushed. My plans were destroyed. The smile was gone. It was all I could do to keep the tears in my eyes and the anger from my face. Instead of walking jovially through the halls, I blocked out the jeers and comments and the colorful panties taped to the walls and made my way to my bathroom. The one seldom used early in the morning. I only half-way heard any of the comments. I forced what must have been a dark replica of a smile on my face, with my head up. I got to the bathroom door and went inside.

I entered the handicap stall and locked it behind me and sat down. I closed my eyes and breathed.

Had I been instructed in the arts of yoga and meditation, amongst other mechanisms of emotional release, I probably could have pulled it off. Instead, I waited for the emotions to dissipate. They didn't.

The lock on a bathroom stall door isn't strong. It isn't truly meant to keep people in or out, just a message that the stall is occupied, should someone decide to try to open it. So, upon the seventh loud crash of my hand against the unyielding metal of the door, the lock mechanism failed and bent outwards, the door swinging out, in opposition to it's design to swing in.

I looked at myself in the mirror that was suddenly before me and was even more enraged at the tears my stupid eyes had allowed to form. My knuckles were bleeding. I exited the stall to see a few girls running out. I ran the water cold and hard, and washed my face and my hand until the blood was seeping instead of dripping. I wrapped my hand in paper towels and made my way to the nurse's office.

I wasn't smiling, but I wasn't crying either. I kept my face even for a moment. Then, one of the football players approached me. I hadn't really noticed him until he was in my face. It was April's boyfriend, Grant. "You think it's okay to go down on my girlfriend Carrie? I don't care if you are a girl, that shit is wrong." He pushed me to keep me from walking around him. "If you were a guy, I'd be pounding your face right now."

I looked up at him and smiled. "Do it Grant. You think I'm afraid of you?" I shoved his chest and basically pushed myself backwards. What can I say, he's a linebacker, I wasn't going to move him.

He had rage on his face, and I thought he might do it for a second. He could have killed me, I had no doubt. "Fuck you, Carrie. You ever touch my girlfriend again and I will, you lesbo slut."

"Whatever Grant, why don't you ask her why she put her pussy in my face if she's so happy with you?" I spat with a grin.

"You are a real cunt Carrie." He spat back as he shouldered me so hard I fell back to the floor, as he made his way past me.

I landed on my ass, so it didn't really hurt. I got up, noticing none of the sea of faces in the hall had any pity on me. Not a single hand came out to help me to my feet.

I laughed at the insanity of it all. His girlfriend had raped me, and he was mad at me about it. At least April was one of the nicer girls on the squad. I reflected for a split second on the time I had been jealous of her and Julie dancing down the hall, sharing a pair of ear buds. Fuck them both.

I finished my walk to the nurse's office and asked her to bandage my fist. Of course, I lied and said I had fallen on the parking lot and got my fist down to catch myself. She knew I was lying, but there was nobody else there, so she couldn't really say I was in a fight. She did keep me there past the opening bell though.

When I was all bound up, so I couldn't even bend my fingers, Mrs Lane showed up. I guess I should have expected it.

"Good morning Carrie." Mrs Lane smiled. "Let's go to my office and talk."

"Good morning Mrs. Lane. I'm so clumsy sometimes." I held up my hand and shrugged with a laugh. "What do you want to talk about?"

She wasn't letting it go though, and we walked next door to her office.

"How was group therapy last night?" Mrs Lane asked. "Miss Huntinger said you had a good first session."

I laughed. "Yeah, it was good I suppose." Julie got to meet Bobby after all. "We could have talked about this after school." I suggested.

"What do you know about the banners that were all over the walls this morning?" Mrs. Lane asked, frowning that I was clearly not opening to her today.

"I didn't see any banners Mrs. Lane. I know I had nothing to do with them. You can call my Dad if you want, I was home right after group and didn't leave until morning." I shrugged.

"I didn't think you put them up Carrie. Your name was on them." Mrs. Lane answered. "Who did it?"

I looked at her confused. "I don't know. What did they say?"

She sighed. "Okay Carrie. I will bring your parents in for a conference, so we can decide what is best for you."

"You would do it anyway Mrs. Lane." I replied with an exasperated tone. "We've been down this road before, haven't we?"

"You were doing so good Carrie." Mrs. Lane answered. "What happened?"

"Fine, I know I am going to be transferred out anyway. It doesn't matter. Rebecca has had a vendetta against me, and I apologized for dating her boyfriend in front of the whole school yesterday. I'm surprised nobody told you. It wasn't much of a secret. It was supposed to end everything. I mean, our little feud. I knew people would harass me today, and I was prepared to handle it and move forward."

"But, I wasn't quite as prepared as I thought, so I had to punch a wall to deal with it. I'm okay, but none of that matters to you. I'm making things uncomfortable. So, best thing for you and the school is to get me out of here. It sucks, because everything would have been calm by next week. I probably should have cut school today, but then I'd be facing the crowd Monday instead." I looked her in the eyes, as I ranted.

She offered me a smile. "Okay. So, you fell on the parking lot?"

My eyes must have opened twice their size in shock. "Really?"

"Carrie, I told you what you tell me is in strict confidence. I'm still going to have to talk to your parents, of course. And we will discuss the best option for you. I am going to send you home to tend to your injured hand. Can you drive?" Mrs. Lane asked.

"Yes, but Mrs. Lane, if I go home, my Dad will pull me out of this school. I know he will. I'd rather finish the day, if that would be okay." I begged.

"A transfer may be the best thing for you Carrie." Mrs. Lane answered. "A fresh start can be the best thing sometimes. I know you don't want to run away from your problems, but they seem to be interfering with you and others. It's admirable, but our purpose here is education of eight hundred students, and you are one of them."

"I thought I was doing quite well." I answered. I knew I had been much better this week with being on time to class, being attentive, doing homework, all of it. "Check with my teachers. I'm on a very tight schedule with my Dad now. He is checking my homework every night."

"Carrie, your emotional health is as important to me as your scholastic results. I am going to take you back to the nurse's office where you can spend first period. I will let you know within the hour." She answered and led me back to the nurse.

On the way, I added. "If I'm going to be kicked out anyway, does another day here really matter Mrs. Lane? I want to show them they didn't beat me. If I am pulled out today, they will forever think they won, and I couldn't handle it. I mean, if we are really concerned with my emotional well-being."

"I haven't decided yet Carrie. Wait here." Mrs. Lane answered.

I was sent to the examination room to wait. Being left alone, I had some time to text.

TO JILL: Things went poorly this morning Mistress. I am in the nurse's office, while they determine my fate. Apparently, the cheer squad decorated the school in my honor last night.

There were unanswered messages. I read them.

SARA: The school was a mess this morning. We ripped it all down. They must have been here all night putting it up.

CAT: Are you okay?

GINA: Where are you? We heard you came inside and have been looking for you.

JEN: Carrie, let us know where you are. We are worried.

JULIE: Please call me. We need to talk.

Julie had called three times since I came inside the school. I guess I hadn't been paying attention to my phone.

JILL: Everything is on hold until you work things out. Take your time. I'm proud of you Carrie. Never doubt yourself. You did the right thing.

TO JILL: She ditched me for Bobby Mistress. I had everything under control. I couldn't handle that.

JILL: I'm texting her now. I can't say I am happy with her either.

COURTNEY: I am here if you need me

JULIE: I'm in first period where are you?

TO JULIE: Nurse's office.

JULIE: Why? What happened Carrie? Are you okay?

TO JULIE: I'm probably transferring schools Mrs. Lane is calling my parents

JULIE: Carrie, I'm sure they won't do that in your senior year

TO JULIE: What difference does it make?

JULIE: Don't say that Care I love you Please forgive me

TO JULIE: You fucked her, didn't you? Or more likely, she fucked you and you decided to make hers the first pussy you licked, right? We clearly have a very different definition of love Jules

JULIE: It wasn't like that Carrie. I can't tell you how furious I am at her right now.

TO JULIE: I'm sure you will get over it

TO SARA, JEN, CAT AND GINA: I'm fine. In the nurse's office while they decide what to do with me today. Thank you so much!! You are the best!! I will text you when I find out what is going to happen.

JULIE: I hate her Carrie I love you Please believe me I don't know what I was thinking I thought she could help

TO JULIE: Can you imagine in your wildest, most fantastical thoughts, a scenario where I would do that to you?

JILL: You should stop before you make her suicidal. Not an order, just friendly advice.

TO JILL: Et tu Mistress?

JILL: Be careful with your next words Slutball

TO JILL: Sorry Mistress, it was meant to be funny, maybe a little sarcastic

JILL: In that case, it made me smile.

TO JILL: I am hurt, but I can't afford to cry right now

JILL: I understand Slutball Fill me in when you can.

JULIE: I love you so much Carrie And no... you would never do that to me I am so sorry Carrie

TO COURTNEY: Did Julie tell you where she went this morning?

COURTNEY: I'm not getting in the middle of that mess Slutball. I care about you both, don't let my sexy façade fool you.

COURTNEY: I know this is the wrong time, but my attorney has some input on your contract. We should talk before you meet Jill.

COURTNEY: She loves you Carrie, that's all I'm saying about it

And that was about the time that Mrs. Lane returned.

"We have a conference meeting today after school Carrie. Your father and mother will both be here. I spoke to the principal. Rebecca is being sent home today, as we speak. You will be allowed to finish the day, if you report to me after each class. You will get a hall pass to go to each class late."

I smiled. "Thank you, Mrs. Lane. I truly appreciate it."

"I hope it works out for you Carrie." Mrs. Lane smiled at me. "If it doesn't, come see me. There is no shame in leaving an impossible situation."

The bell rang, and she invited me to stay until the late bell.

"I best get the worst out of the way now." I smiled, refusing her offer and walking into the crowded halls.

Blocking my turmoil about Julie was the worst of it. I had to rise above this. I had to smile. I had to confront them and be tenacious about it. I steadied myself at the door. Eyes closed, deep breaths, smile on my face ... and out the door I went.

I could see tape and ripped edges of construction paper on the walls. I could see tape sticking to lockers and walls all the way down the hall. But, there was no sign of any of the actual banners or the panties that I had seen on my way in this morning.

I saw Sara and Cat coming down the hall towards me and they rushed up to me and I rolled my eyes at their concerned faces. "It's okay. Apparently, the banners had my name on them and I was called into the office to answer what I knew about it." I offered, when they were close enough.

All the while, I saw the looks of despise, of intrigue, of disgust and of envy in the eyes of the student body. If I thought it was embarrassing to be Farin's public girlfriend a week ago, it was ten times that today. But instead of blushing about it, I was putting on an act that it didn't bother me in the least.

"They pulled Rebecca out of first period almost right away. Serves her right." Sara said with disgust.

"Some of it was vile Carrie." Cat offered, sadly. "It was some of the most disgusting things..." She stopped when Sara elbowed her ribs. "Well, she should know, shouldn't she?" Cat asked angrily.

"It's okay." I smiled. "They can't beat me. That is all behind us now. The worst will be over when the bell rings after last class today. I'll smile through today and they will have to find a new target by Monday."

How true that was, I had no idea. I mean, this could go on for a while.

I saw Grant scowling at me, with a couple of his friends from the football team next to him. They all looked pissed at me and I smiled and waved at them.

"I swear I'm going to punch her face." Grant said to his pals.

"She ain't worth it Grant. You'll get expelled." One replied.

"No, I'm not worth it Grant. In fact, she called your name out when she orgasmed." I smiled.

He was pissed. That didn't help at all.

"Easy Carrie." Cat whispered. "What are you doing?"

I giggled. "All part of the show Cat. I have to get this thing blown over today. Grant isn't going to hit a girl."

"Well, be careful. Especially around those cheer cunts." Sara whispered. "They seem pissed at you even though they say..." She stopped herself.

I sighed. "Some of it is true, okay?" I told them. "It wasn't the way they say it was, but I did go down on half the cheer squad. Don't go fighting to defend a lie. That's all I'm saying. I'm a lesbian. It doesn't change our friendship... or it shouldn't. I have no interest in having sex with you two or Gina or Jen."

They both stared at me with their mouths open. I giggled again. "Come on, I mean you four are beautiful, but you are definitely hetero."

Cat looked concerned. Sara laughed weakly. "It's still me." I smiled. "I don't want you four defending me today unless it gets physical. Promise me. I can handle the verbal bullshit. If someone starts attacking you four, I will make it physical. That's me, you know that."

"I can't tell you how much it means to me that you cleaned that crap off the walls. That was the best thing you could do for me today. If it is still going on Monday, we will figure it out then. I can get through today. I promise. No matter what you hear, you can ask me later. Maybe it happened, maybe it didn't. But, I will handle today. Okay?" I waited for an answer. Talking to them was a nice diversion from the nasty stares I was receiving.

"Okay." Sara said.

"Alright." Cat agreed. "I'll try. But, if anyone talks to me about it directly, they will get an ear full."

I smiled. "That's fine. Just blow off the crap in the halls. I got this."

I didn't really. Deep inside, I knew I was an inflammatory comment away from smashing a cheerleader in the face. But, was it really their fault? They had been lied to after all. Only Rebecca, Farin, Courtney and Julie knew the truth. And Karen to a lesser degree.

I hugged them both and they hugged me back. "Thanks so much. I really need friends right now."

And we parted ways with a short time to make it to class on time. I got about two steps before Julie was in front of me, still with that guilty look on her face.

"Care Bear, I love you." Julie said and reached forward, grabbing my face in her hands and kissing my lips in front of everyone.

"Holy Shit!" I heard Andrew Collins voice.

I pulled away abruptly. "Are you out of your fucking mind Julie!" I yelled at her and she started crying. "Why the hell would you do that today of all days?"

"I love you Carrie." She yelled at me and grabbed my face and kissed me again.

I wanted this for so long. I wanted this with all my heart. And now, I just knew it was because she did something I was going to hate hearing about. I pushed her away again.

"God damnit Julie. Not today!" I yelled. I shoved past her and walked past the stares and whispers, fighting the myriad of emotions that attacked my soul.

I turned the corner towards the boring math class where I would see Courtney and several cheerleaders, but not Rebecca. I wondered if it made her mad that she was pulled out of school for the day. Not my problem. She brought that on herself.

And then I saw Britney and Addison waiting outside the class. "Decided to show your face after all, did you slut?" Britney taunted.

I fake laughed. It was hard to force, but I think I pulled it off. "What bothers you the most Britney, that I'm a slut, or that you won't get my mouth on your pussy again?"

I pushed through them, as Addison held Britney at bay. "You want to get suspended?" She asked in a whisper.

"You weren't that good, slut." Britney spat at me, as I entered the room.

"Opinions vary." I smirked, not bothering to look behind me.

Courtney was standing next to my chair, staring down the half of the cheerleaders that were apparently waiting to make their own crude comments. She smiled at me. I smiled back, and she rolled her eyes. She pointed towards Karen with her eyes and shrugged.

Karen was not happy. I could see the concern on her face. I walked up to her and squeezed her shoulder to reassure her. "It's okay Karen, really." I whispered.

She gave me a weak smile and handed me my keys. She looked at my bandaged hand and flinched. "You don't make it easy, do you?"

I shrugged. "That's why I have so few friends." I laughed and pinched her chin affectionately.

I took notice of Farin, when I did that. She was looking contemplative. Somewhere between angry Farin and sad Farin. I offered her a smile that she didn't return.

I turned back towards Courtney then and took my seat.

"Eventful morning." Courtney giggled. "You should make a run for class president. Everyone knows your name now."

I laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure they would line up to vote for me."

"No such thing as bad publicity." She grinned.

"That's a statement for debate." I answered.

"Well, there is a trash bag full of panties in my locker if you need any." She offered.

"You touched dirty panties for me Court?" I asked with a chuckle.

"I wore gloves." She laughed. "But, I might need to have my locker disinfected."

"I'm sorry Courtney." I offered with a grin. "They must have smelled nasty."

The grumbles from behind us signaled that our exchange had been heard, as intended. We smiled at each other and settled into position. Courtney shifted sideways from the waist and I took off her shoes to massage her feet during class again. I only had one hand available for the task and she asked me about it.