All Comments on 'Jim and Mary'

Nah still trash

I enjoyed this. I liked that both partners were able to experience both dominant and submissive roles. But very glad Jim did not consent to being a cuckold. I did think Mary was very callous with Jim's feelings for much of the story though. I'm glad he reasserted himself in the end. Also, happy Josh was fired! Thanks for this first submission. Will lookout for future works from you!

Well, that was different. Congratulations.

1. the negative comments are sex drives different than yours.

2. Writing is good, look for ways to tighten it up where you characters are interacting.

3. Jim's multiplicity and strength were very interesting.

The whole Dom/Sub thing continues to be a mystery to me. I treat my spouse as an equal and she treats me the same way. If the Dom/Sub thing works for the couple, then have at. I just couldn’t handle the disrespect a Sub endures and I care far too much to ever subject my spouse to that level of disrespect.

Because the husband didn't care that his wife was lusting after Josh I won't bash the story where he stays with his wife. I am glad she broke off the date once she realized her marriage would be done.

Complete tripe, nothing more to say really

You missed the slave bit out of your tags. You also missed the bit about a man losing his pride and ego. Men need these things you unmanned him. But its your nightmare not mine thankfully.

Yuck

Belongs in the garbage can with most of the trash posted today. One Star.

You lost me when she agreed to the once a week kiss. As his superior, as an older woman and as the one in control there's simply no way she agrees to his condition. Nobody is THAT stupid. Unless she wants a divorce.

Domination is not love. She is a vile, awful wife and the story reads like a bunch of robots.

I found your story quite erotic, and complex. The wife attempting to fight her desires, and the husband who didn't like his wife lusting after another man, and yet part of him was aroused by it. These were emotional conflicts which any average couple might deal with in a similar situation, rather than the more simplistic "Wife is a slut, husband loves it" tack many stories go with.

On a technical basis, you badly need an editor. You wrote many truncated sentences, and ended many question asking sentences with a period, rather than a question mark. It's almost never a good idea to start a sentence with an "And..", but you did, often. All this is a distraction to the reader, and your story would have been much more enjoyable with some proofreading. Thanks, and please keep writing!

great story

4*. Manic to me.

Skating along the cuck edge. Listening to his wife kiss someone who unzips and exposes his dick was grounds for someone with testicles to divorce over. I have no problem with alternating domination but this cunt was just casually cheating. Making a deal to kiss him every week? Wonder why she didn't talk that over with her husband? Not badly written, just so far from anything believable that I don't like it.

He should dump the cheating bitch, and get his balls back, and kick Josh's ass.

Sorry, this is really bad.

Good story. I think it is funny that these "anonymous" critics take the time to constantly read these stories. They obviously enjoy them, then enjoy saying they are "disgusting" and "trash," while getting off on them.

That was an unusual story that could have been much worse. Mary definitely cheated with Josh, and Jim grew at least one ball by the end. Mary is one dumb bitch that Jim should cut loose.

Could be written by an Englishman. They say that the wives are often sluts and the husbands are more like cuckolds! Both are just ugly in a marriage! But as I said, English .....

@Anon about3 hrs ago.

You are an idiot. It is no more that your presumption that readers "like" a story simply bc they read it. Have you ever read anything you found unlikeable to completion? It's morons like you that actually believe you know what others think. I'm sick of commenters like you, pretending to be so above it all, so enlightened so as to attribute the "obvious" motive as to the reasons people read what they read. you know nothing about another reader's motivation for story selection. In my opinion, the story sucked bc it was inconsistent and inexplicably contradictory with regard to character.

Quite poor in that the MC Jim was not believable, and the wife did not love him. It's not so much that she cheated on him, it's the lies and disrespect, She is, quite simply, a selfish asshole. Mind you, open marriage stories do not bother me at all. And genuine hotwife stories don't either. Hypocrites, however, deserve no respect.

Warn readers next time so they don't waste their time.

kinda boring!

or was it just a prosthetic marble

Maybe part of the story was good and followed BTB lines. Than it was a cuck story and Jim looked real bad. Finally the ending was rushed and it was a non story. Kind of wished I hadn't read it.

No partner in a NYC law firm - or any law firm in the universe - would agree to that bullshit Friday deal. First, as his BOSS, she'd be putting her job/reputation/law license in jeopardy, not to mention a sizeable law suit. Simply not believable. Also, the conversation with Mr. Weis by both individuals would've been witnessed and documented by the H.R. manager.

.

Otherwise, a good story. 5/5!

Hey everyone look just another cuck tale. Theres an awful lot of closets that need to open their doors and let these writers out.

Even thought you tried to make him a self respecting human again, it failed, he was still the cuck you found in your head.

I gave up when she agreed to kiss him very Friday.

Obnoxious and tedious. Make up your mind, is the husband a cuck or not? Mentally Mary has already committed adultery with Josh. She has no sense of faithfulness or self respect. She hasn't fucked Josh for only one reason, she might get caught. If she could be certain she could get away with it she'd be Josh's guiltless enthusiastic slut. And if she ever bumps into Josh at some meeting or convention or anywhere she might have the opportunity she will fuck his brains out. Any husband who wold live with that sword hanging over his head deserves to have the sword dropped. Good riddance.

Thanks for the effort.

so in the end, he's a cuckold willing or not because she should have hit the bricks

he's a cuckold in waiting. Next time he won't be there and she'll end up getting gangbanged. And in the end he'll like her fouled pussy.

Great story! Very well written!!!! I would have loved a different final though..., keeping the relationship with Josh that is...

I'm impressed they were both college seniors at 20! GREAT story!!

Hmmm...

She wanted to cuckold him so bad she could taste it. In the end, however, the threat of divorce turned her back into a husband loving wife. With a few tweaks in their relationship they because a loving husband and wife. Not a bad tale. No sequel please.

Stupid storyline!

For me just her admission to want yo fuck a coworker would be enough for leagal papers to be drawn up. After her kiss and the guy jerking off on her would be divorce papers . To me that is cheating . Work place affair can be hidden easily if you don’t change at your normal every day life routine with family. That is why the cheating on jobs is so high and forget about people who travel . From people I know who travel the percentage is sky high . I couldn’t tolerate being abused like that and for me I think I’d need to take a bat to his knees at least for self satisfaction

The story was going ok, then the husband was castrated.

What was the name of the company the wife was a partner at HOWDUMBAREWE?, she makes partner then gets suckered into the kiss reward deal, it don't look good for the company does it

Just POS story

What a piece of trash…..

1*

Well, to each his own. The submissive stuff is Not at all my thing. True, I would do most anything my wife asked me to do in bed, but it would be role playing and it would end when sex finished. Mutual respect is vital in a successful relationship. I don’t see MUTUAL respect in any kind of S/D relationship.

So half way thru the story Jim became a wimp. Didn’t work.

A little too schizophrenic for me. Jim should have dumped Mary after hearing the recording. She did not respect him and will eventually cheat. She's not worth keeping around. He should finish getting back in shape and find a better woman.

I didn't like the content nor the style it was written in

Evah_Rheddy

The "submissive" trope is just faggot fodder. No remotely normal man would think: "But the idea of Mary controlling him with her sexuality enthralled him. He didn't know what to do." Moreover, I've NEVER met a woman who wants a punk-ass, faggotty, submissive as a husband or lover. There are men like that, but they are nothing like the "Jim" that is written outside of the author's detours into writing "Jim" absurdly as a sissy.

Very poorly written. In good fiction the characters' personalities do not morph 180° at the midpoint of the story.

Jim is a wimpy CUCK, and Mary a worthless slut!! Mary DID CHEAT while kissing the asshole!!!

I was enjoying this story until it changed into a whole different story.

What a disgusting human being u are Mr Demander… a real piece of worm work!

Blech.

A nice twist would have been if he had asked his wife for the name of a good divorce attorney, just in case he needed it.

OK story and I saw where this was going. It is your story. But the way it is written just like a light switch she becomes faithful and he is ever trusting. That is so far from real. She was already cheating and wanted more and so did Josh. She was weak and her husband is really clueless. I see no way that she doesn't continue with Josh but just be careful and even if caught I don't see her weak husband leaving her.

Accidentally hit 4-stars instead of 5-stars. I really wish they’d set it so you have 5 to 10 seconds to change the score, before locking up, in cases like this.

Anyways... this showed the characters and thoughts of the actors incredibly well. It’s just so “real life”, as if the author heard this story from someone it actually happened to.

5-stars & Favorite

Just another so called straight male writer who is a wimpy closet cuckold. All his stories are all the way or borderline cuck stories. Too bad cause he is a good writer; probably be in the 4.8 range if Literotica had a cuck category.

LOL- one sure can pick out the cucks from the comments. Wonder what sewer these guys crawled out of? You got to love the idiots who seem to know the motives of other reader's. I always read the comments and tags first before wasting time on a story, so there goes the theory that we all read these stories, get off on them, and then complain about them. One thing I've learned in this category, the comments are fucking priceless especially from the cucks.

Couldn’t finish it

I like this one a lot. Rarely do I see people writing about switches so it was nice to see; I don't think we get represented enough. And she was able to acknowledge his limits and didn't want to destroy what they had. So yeah, I appreciate a sort of cuckold story that was really mostly about domination and submission.

Excellent story, but she's a whore. Being married that long and having a family, the stupid slut was going to throw it away. I wouldn't trust that whore as far as I could throw her...

I think he put up with more than I would have,she wants to have sex with someone else I say you're grown let's just call it quits and be done

...then the more power to them. She went pretty damn close to crossing the line, but if he can forgive her this one near error, then I cannot see why they don’t continue. AS LONG AS she maintains her fidelity. After all, after the near fall, she did confess it. He forgave her. If she never comes near to cheating again, then I don’t see why they cannot continue.

I, on the other hand, would be seeing a lawyer ASAP. No way, no how. But that’s me.

She was cheating date one according to her own words. Why write this?

For all the blather about BTB stories here, over 95% of the authors write men as weak, needy, cuckish, low-T, contemptible poltroons. For being based on a vastly overused LW cliche, this doesn't merit a even 1 star.

Several problems: data regarding individual sexual practices is riddled with data corruption, a problem well documented and debated. Check out the websites for sex therapists and other such professionals, particularly those deal with fetishes such as switching, see how often you find objective background data ref credentials, not just professional associations, but schools attended, terminal degrees awarded and from where, etc. My point is that in stories such as these, the plot line is based on subjectivity and individual experience, dropped with enough "normality" one can leave the story thinking such behavior is common. Obviously what the author intends. Peruse the comments; at least here subjectivity is assumed, and people argue back and forth about the logic, truth, healthiness, etc., of their respective positions. In my opinion dom/sub is a significant issue among only a small percentage of people. It seems to me that to present such an issue as a "normal" tension in an otherwise traditional marriage based on fidelity, and at the same time layering in the issue of cuckoldry is an absurd stretch. All of a sudden he gets aroused by cooking for his wife because now this simple act has become a dom/sub thing?? C'mon. But it's your story. At least saddletramp tells you his stories are in his universe. This is just foolishness.

Good story but I have to say. He cannot trust her. She will fuck Josh at some point. She’s too easily swayed .

It takes talent to write good stories.Unfortunately you don’t have any.Very disjointed and didn’t flow at all.felt I was reading a list.

Duh! First off a wife should never slow with anyone other than there husband since it is too intimate. Second, a wife should never be sucked into kiss a potential lover if they wish to remain married. Than third, the author demonstrated his stupidity when he changed Jim into a submissive 24 years into their marriage. It doesn’t happen like that! Once a submissive always a submissive. You don’t slowly become submissive. Submissiveness is developed at a young age.

Many of these critics are idiots. Do not take their moronic perspectives to seriously. Why they feel the need to measure an erotic story with what they perceive is reality is beyond stupid. Even those who desperately try to sound credible with a garage of "wanna be" sophisticated vocabulary just sound like rambling, incoherent, simpletons. To be fair I haven't read all of the comments but most of what I saw has zero constructive feedback value whatsoever and their insecurity would be amusing if it weren't so pathetic. Whatever you do, I would urge you to NOT alter your writing style or content based on these comments. Anyone telling you how your story is lacking because it differs from a "real situation" is certainly not someone you want affecting your writing.

This broad is gonna cheat on Jim with Josh. Then she's gonna cheat on Josh with the next 'big-dick' that cums along. Face it, she's got an insatiable itch between her toes...the two big ones. She's a slut. LP

Submissive play is fine, telling him she is going out with Josh gets the divorce started and her out the door.

The minute she opened her pig mouth and started talking about Josh to her husband while having sex, would have been enough for me to throw her into the street. Done

Really well done, all the way around. Story line is interesting, characters are well-developed, the technical writing is good. What I like best is that you have given a message to married couples, all of whom have faced difficulties, some of them similar to Jim and Mary. You give somewhat of a blueprint for working on solutions, which is also well done. And I just noticed something else. I used to hate these dim-wits that tell us all how macho they are and how they would have kicked Jezebel out on her ass. But I think they just go around the net looking for people they can put down and tell everyone how much better they are than us mere mortals. Your story satisfies them, too.

He should have dumped her

Decent, but fell short on a lot of important topics.

Drivel with some truly idiotic stuff.

"He remembered the purse recorder. "

The guy puts a recorder in his wife's purse to follow her and then for a couple of days he forgets to check it out?

That is called smart writing by "demander".

"I was thinking of Josh's big cock all the while I was taking you."

Says wife to her husband? Now that is apparently another smart writing by "demander". Supposedly the hubby is upset by dancing of "Josh" and "Mary" but now it is okay to tell him that "Mary" dreams about "Josh"'s cock while she is with the hubby?

"Demander", can you write something more stupid?

Yes, he can:

"I know. I feel used. But...." - the answer from hubby. LOL.

More drivel from wife talking to hubby:

"What if I want Josh? What if I fuck him tomorrow?" ...

"I really want him bad. I don't know what I'll do if I can't have him."

I think the only person getting high here is "demander" writing this garbage while the readers are probably scratching their head trying to figure out what is this, a cuck story, BDSM (more like BSHT) or a LW story?

Then this nonsense:

"Jim felt bad about ratting out Mary, but he was unwilling to become her cuckold."

Really? He is already a cuckold or a cuckold wanna-be but he felt bad about what?

More nonsense:

"May I please kiss your feet, Mary."

What exactly is writer trying to write here??

Listen "demander", you are really a lousy writer without any talent. But even that way you could ask somebody to read the garbage you assembled before posting. Because, that somebody could tell you that you are writing inconsistent nonsense and point out these inconsistencies to you.

Disgraceful ending, put a little more thought into your endings. All your good work developing the characters is wasted by slovenly quick paced end.

I HATE WIMPS!

Good writing skills. The plot not so much.

The writing ability displayed was more than adequate. The plot absolutely, unequivocally sucked.

Jim was kinda...like a squashed snail. Not pleasant to look at, made you wanna gag. The whole slave bit... nope.

The story just petered out there at the end

Terrible ending to a pretty good story. LP

Garbage. Sophmoric dialog matched only by the incoherent plot and the incoherent characters who follow it to its end.

Good story ruined by the end.

Too fast.

No dialogue.

Re write it.

You are a good writer and will make it a 5/5 story

She is a sociopathic slut.... they do NOT have a marriage....they have a pornea relationship. Marriage is based on unconditional giving love which values the other before themselves. She has shown that the only thing that she cares about is her selfish momentary impulses. Her fixation upon Josh is classic sociopathic pornea...in which she is using her husband AND Josh as objects or walking tools to gratify her momentary sexual impulses. They cannot have a marriage because she cannot love anything other than herself. The entire story centers upon the pornea relatiohship that they actually have... In that she is totally amoral. The only thing that keeps her within the established boundaries of her trappings of marriage is the imminent threat of outward overwhelming punishment. Remove that threat and she can and DID arrange to sneak outside and gratify her impulse for lust.

Thus there is no happy ever after, because she will always act on her selfish sociopathic nature and betray her mate the minute triggering circumstances occur. What we are left with in this pathetic excuse for a happy ever after is Jim accepting his permanent role as the chief warden of their marriage prison camp. He is sentenced to serve the rest of his life monitoring and verifying his wife's fidelity....because even he knows that that sociopathic slut will betray him eventually. The 25 year happy ever after paragraph is the worst form of specious nonsense... and is utterly unsupported by the chaotic logic train of the rest of the story. In fact the husband really should have divorced the sociopathic whore and gone on with the rest of his life. The type of betraying sociopathic sluts that form the characterizations on this site are rather rare in real life.... They occur so often in stories here because of the sick fantasies supported here.

Really stupid story with an rather absurd ending...1 star

JIM AND HIS SUBMISSIVENESS...HE WAS JUST A CUCK, A WEAK WIMP CUCK WHOSE SLUT WIFE HAD HIM PUSSY-WHIPPED

The end is not surprising, since the author didn't know how to end the trek for the submissive, pathetic husband, that used his friend to help to control a situation he must control himself if he wants to act like a man. What self-respecting man enjoys his wife fucking mentally a younger, better-hung lover when they are fucking? Only a cuckold. Jim was cuckolded by the actions, the thoughts, and the words of his wife. The new dynamic can spice their sex life temporarily, then she's going to need more, which mean another Josh as a lover or the same Josh if he's around. The end is the same... cuckolding. Their marriage life couldn't be satisfying for her. when she fell so easily for Josh. She was willing to risk their marriage in order to fuck Josh. That tells you how much she valued her marriage. Anyway, thanks for the story.

Good well written story. Sometimes being mildly submissive sexually (like having your wife sit on your face and tell you to eat her out) is still far away from being a cuckold. There are hard lines that if crossed are not arousing in the least even if a couple plays at dominance and submission games. And as far as using a friend to change the dynamics by firing Josh and warning the wife, there is nothing unmanly about that. In so many stories, a husband stands by helplessly as his wife is seduced when a call to the human resources department would likely end the seduction. Employers are extremely wary of liability in the "me too" era. Why not use ALL means available to derail a seducer.especially one that is perfectly lawful. Of course it is emotionally satisfying to read a story in which the husband beats a seducer to within an inch of his life but it is likely that husband will end up jailed and criminally prosecuted if he does that. Anyway good story; my only criticism is that given how Josh is portrayed, he would have stayed after Mary, even if she did cancel the date.

The "deal" with the kiss was an absurdity.

Not sure why the thought of him getting into shape was even mentioned since nothing became of it and at least she didn't go thru with her plans unlike most stories on here.

Very well written

A weird story not my cup of tea (jaybee186)

The story wasn’t too bad, but the whole underlying and ongoing lust just kept going on and obviously made a cuck for sure. What a wimp until he finally grew a pair?

He should have made a very strong statement about divorce right after the dance! No ongoing BS from the wanna be slut!

Not the best story line and ongoing disappointment.

Well written but in my opinion, you rushed the story. The time between the Valentine's Day dance and the ending was 10 days or so. Jim never could have lost a noticeable amount of weight or really changed his physical conditioning in that time. And the weekly kiss agreement was over the top, not believable. A much longer seduction (minimum 2-3 months) with a determined Jim working out and losing 15-20 pounds plus getting back his martial arts mojo coupled with a Mary who is slowly being worn down by Josh would have given a better story. Jim trying to monitor through the recorders and hearing that Mary was slipping and being ambivalent because he likes the submissive fantasy but will not accept the reality of being a cuckold would make a better story. Anyway, it deserves better than its present score.

Jims character is too fucked up. He can not vacillate so much and be real. The night she embarrased him at the party he should have ended it all one way or another. Josh should have also been made to pay.

This author has a very strange bent or twisted view of marriage and people. Much more of this and I will not bother with his writings. No wonder the world is as it is. As someone else says either get married or stay single. There is no grey area.

Unlike the typical Cuckold story, I liked it because the husband wouldn't stand for losing his wife. I don't understand how men can allow themselves to be humiliated by their wife, or their wife's lovers. But if that is what you want, so be it. Just not for me.

Well written.

Yikes! It almost blew up in their faces.

4

I truly find a lot of insight reading the comments of the average US of A male on here[at least I hope they are male even more f...ing scary if not], and let me tell you as an outsider it's very very scary indeed. Obviously the slave trade never did end after the ACW.

Gross.

Sweetie told LustyLawyer he was in no position to bargain. He proceeds to negotiate on terms more intimate than had happened yet. She accepts the upgrade. A woman able to become a full-partner would remind LL that he is in NO position to bargain.

But she does not! Then the Managing Partner ‘splains things’ to her and separately (and more explicitly) to LL. Sweetie can tell LL at their next opportunity that the MP has cancelled their deal. But she accepts LL’s “Deal is a deal!” statement. She also has a full-disclosure deal with Hubby. She seems willing to change that contract to a “Mostly Full Disclosure” deal, excluding a highly intimate weekly promise.

Sorry, but that exceeds the ‘one willing acceptance by We-The-Readers of an exaggeration” per short-story rule … by about three!

3*.