All Comments on 'Joanie on Display (750 Word Project)'

Always like your stories. It doesn't matter under which category you place them. They are always arousing and graphic. This one is both of those and somehow cute at the same time. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

How could I not love that? Rate it as five stars. Thanks!

Ending is a wonderful climax to a beautiful story.

So the talk about incest makes a story incest?

Why did they use binoculars to fuck? Doesn't sound very comfortable to me. You did say they did that. I realize you probably didn't mean that, but you did say it. With a small amount of thought, you could have said what you mean with the same number of words. I'm sure that little effort on your part would have been worth it.

I Iove the 750-word project stories. Well done.

Really smooth flow of conversation, I'd love an elaboration of how she caught him and the aftermath, great story!

Thank you, everyone for your comments. Cagey, maybe you read too fast? The binoculars were for distant viewing, peeping on Joanie as she changed. Then Mike used them to watch Leo and Joanie enjoy each other, still from a distance. It's a challenge to limit oneself to 750 words, which is why some features of the story seem undeveloped. Oh yes, back to Cagey: I asked for it to be placed in Exhibitionist and Voyeur, but the Lit Gods put it in Incest without telling me. I'm okay with it, and anyway, the Lit Gods are Gods, so they have the power. Enjoy February, JB

Great little story, especially considering that she had trained him 'sexually.'

Nicely done within the word limit. I like the ending, too.

JBEdwards, I didn't read too fast, but maybe you didn't read my comment well enough. The structure of your sentence was badly done. YOU said they fucked using binoculars. Read it again. I'm just saying, a little more care could most likely fix things like that. Other than that one thing (that this Swiss cheese-brained old man remembers at this point), it wasn't bad.

I have to respond to cageysea9725's comment. In the realm of fiction, that sentence was not written incorrectly. The phrase "using binoculars" is set off from the previous part of the sentence with a comma, and it's clear from context that it describes how the narrator watched rather than how the two of them fucked. Come on.

I offer this example from Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Romeo responding after his cousin Mercutio makes fun of him for mooning over a girl.

"He jests at scars that never felt a wound."

"That never felt a wound" modifies "jests" not "scars." It's the only way the sentence makes sense. Writers of fiction are permitted to do this sort of thing.

Thank you, Mr. Doom, for your lovely explanation. I may be kinky at times, but I've completely ruled out having sex with binoculars.

Well, maybe, if I get myself off while watching someone else, or someones else, from a distance.

SimonDoom, You're wrong. He's making jokes at emotional scars, not physical scars, so the scars aren't a result of wounds. THAT is the structure of the sentence.

"He jests that never felt a wound at scars." You're claiming THAT sentence is sensible? Come on. Even you're not that stupid, surely.

"and I watched the two of them fuck, using binoculars." is the sentence (it's NOT the entire sentence, but could have been a sentence on its own without "and" and a period preceding it) in questions. It could have (should have) been written "and I watched, using binoculars, the two of them fucking." Clear as day, perfectly worded, AND the exact same number of words (which is an issue in THIS CASE, not usually). There's no point in wording something in a confusing manner when it could have been worded in a way that would cause no confusion. I thought my comment was very helpful, and accurate. I even went out of my way to tell them the story wasn't bad, and that one thing could have improved it.

But now that I think about it, it was kind of fun imagining them actually fucking with binoculars, so maybe I got more enjoyment from it as written.

I hardly think an example from 425 years ago was a wise choice. English is a living language, and evolves. In fact, if you went back a few hundred years further, none of would even understand English.

@SimonDoom, you probably were just remembering wrong something someone told you once. The sentence could have meant "He that never felt a wound jests at scars." THAT is the only other way the sentence could have made sense. "That never felt a wound" CANNOT refer to a verb.

Another point to consider is that Romeo and Juliet was written in Blank Verse, Iambic Pentameter specifically, which is Poetry. Because of the strict structural requirements for this form of writing, the rules for Prose don't apply so strictly, and thus, requires more interpretation by the readers. That's one of the big reasons so many people don't enjoy Shakespeare. It takes more work to read it than they are used to.

I have no desire to get into this highbrow discussion. Just wanted to say I enjoyed it!

Joanie is such a loving and helpful sister! I wish we all had one like her. Thank You!

The most erotic part of this story is the highbrow spanking in the comment section. 5* for the spanking. 2* for the story.