Jon After Eva: An Epilogue

Down lower until I was at her tan lines and the light, fine dark hairs of her mound and pussy. I moved my hands to her thighs and gently pushed them apart with no resistance. I might have been the first man besides a doctor to see her most intimate area, but Olivia was ready. She was probably more than 40 years ready. But instead of going right for her pussy, I started by kissing and tasting her inner thighs, so sensitive and warm and with a trace of her lubrication. Olivia planted her feet and pushed up, silently trying to get me to lick her lips, but I kept teasing her for a while, building up her fire.

"Querido, please...please" she moaned a few times as her hips moved around on the bed. Her legs were rubbing my arms and my back, and I knew she was more than ready. I moved my mouth and without warning her, I started licking up and down and around her lips, swollen and moist and very tasty. I alternated between licking and kissing, moving gradually inwards. My hands slid under her ass and lifted her pussy to my mouth. I sucked her lips and rubbed her clit with my nose. It all was making Olivia go a little wild. Her hips were moving up and down as if she was trying to feed me. Loud moans and cries poured from her lips as she experienced new sensations that she clearly loved.

I lifted my lips from her pussy and I softly said "Sweetheart, play with your nipples. It will heighten your feelings. Go on. I promise it will feel great together." Her eyes were closed but she heard me and while I kept licking and sucking her all over, Olivia gently pinched her nipples. Her legs shook wildly and her body was shivering before I finally went to her clit, pulsing and hard.

I licked circles around it, slow, then fast, mixing it up, and Olivia grabbed the back of my head with one hand while she kept flicking her nipples with the other. "DON'T STOP! QUERIDO, OH MY GOD, I"M CUMMING!" she howled, the first time I'd heard her use the word 'cumming' or any other x-rated word. I kept sucking on her clit, not too hard but I didn't let go, and a number of orgasms flowed through her body before she finally pulled away from me, gasping and shaking.

I moved gently behind her and spooned her as she gathered herself. She couldn't respond to me with either words or actions, not for a couple of minutes before she finally turned to face me and gave me a bunch of kisses. "I've never felt anything like that before, Jon! Nothing even close. I can't believe I waited so long to experience something so wonderful." Then she started crying, deep sobs of sadness, and I held her and kissed her head, offering soothing words.

I asked Olivia why she was so sad and she managed to tell me. "I'm an old woman, and I let so much of the best part of my life get away. Because I couldn't leave my husband and find someone who would have been more loving and exciting. I was so trapped by my culture and what my mother taught me. It took until now, until I met such a good man, before I discovered myself, so to speak." She put her head on my chest, and whatever I was needing before was forgotten, at least for the time being. When we met, Olivia told me what a good man Tomas was, such a good husband. But as we got closer, the truth was something different. He emotionally hurt her through neglect and a kind of cruel traditional attitude. And her mother was no better. I was kind of glad I never met them.

"First of all, Sweetheart, you're hardly old. Not these days. You're youthful and beautiful, smart and sweet. And sexy, very sexy. Please listen to me, Livie. 68 is not old these days. You can have at least 20 good years still. Even I could live another 20. Who knows? And I like you, quite a lot. I don't want to see anyone else. I'm very much a one-woman man. When I started seeing Eva, it was the same, right from the start. I never was a sleep-around kind of guy. I'm not making any sort of promise to you, but as long as we're going to be together, I don't want to be with anyone else. You'll never have to wonder about me like that."

Olivia sniffled a bit and stopped crying as I kept holding her. "I'm not used to being treated so well. Thank you, Querido. I like you as well. Very much. And I don't wonder; I can tell you're a very good and decent man. I'm sorry I wasn't completely honest about my marriage. Tomas was a good father and he did have good qualities as a husband. But it wasn't the way I led you to believe when we first met. I had trouble admitting I stayed in a less-than-perfect marriage to a man who was so obviously happily married."

"I'm sorry you were in that situation, Livie. I know I was particularly lucky. Maybe I can be lucky twice." I kissed her head, then she tilted her head to kiss my lips.

"I hope we both can be. And I owe you your other birthday present. I'd like to try, with your help. I really do want to." I could see she was hopeful, not feeling obligated. And honestly, I was very horny. But still, I had to make sure this was something she wanted to do.

"Sweetheart, as long as you're sure. You don't have to do this."

"Oh, yes I do. For my own sake as well as for you." She snuggled closer, as close as she could, and she started stroking my cock as she kissed me and pushed her body onto mine. She may have had no experience with oral sex, but she did know how to excite a man. My erection was back very quickly, and Olivia made a soft sound of approval. "You seem to want to as well, Querido."

"I can't deny it. You really turn me on...Bella."

"Bella...I like that. Quite a lot. Let me try to show you how much." She nibbled on my throat, something I loved (you all remember) and she worked her way to my chest, covering it with light kisses that were very arousing. Then down to my tummy, looking up at me, her eyes questioning me.

"That's very nice, Livie. You're making me feel very good indeed." Down to my lower tummy. I could feel her warm breath through her nose, tickling the soft hairs of my crotch which had long ago turned grey and silver.

"Please tell me if what I'm doing is wrong. I'm very willing, Jon. So don't be afraid of hurting my feelings."

"I won't. Just let me make a couple of suggestions?" She nodded, so I went ahead. "First of all, just watch out for the teeth. That's not something that feels good. Not for me, at least. Second, start by licking me, so you get a little comfortable with my penis."

"Jon, you can call it your...you know. I have trouble saying it, but it won't bother me. It might even get to me." She was stroking me slowly, keeping me hard. Olivia did know things. And she was clearly willing to learn.

"OK, so after you get comfortable with my...cock, you should know that the most sensitive area is on the bottom of the head, the glans."

She smiled and laughed softly. "Jon, I did know that. A woman does learn SOME things in more than 30 years of marriage."

"Sorry. Why don't you just try for yourself? Just have fun with me. I promise I'll like that" I said, encouraging her to just go for it and follow her instincts. She was willing; that's half the battle right there. The rest is just technique.

I relaxed, propped up by a couple of pillows, and, to make Olivia less self-conscious, I closed my eyes and let her find her way. I felt her breath all over me as her hands cradled my cock and balls. Soon I felt the tip of her tongue licking very lightly at the head, like she sampled me and found my taste to be pleasing. A little more of her tongue made contact and an involuntary shiver traveled from my head to my toes. She noticed and took it for the pleasant feeling it was for me, which gave her a little confidence. She then licked the shaft, very tentatively, and I let out a moan to let her know I was enjoying what she did to me. More tasting, and I opened my eyes a little so I could see how Olivia was feeling about this. I could see she was concentrating on her actions, exploring the contours of my dick.

"That's really nice, Bella" I whispered, and she looked up at me and saw I was smiling at her. She smiled shyly back, but she didn't stop. "If you want to take my cock in your mouth, you can, or you can keep doing what you're doing. It feels very good so far."

"Does it really? Be honest with me, Jon. I need to know."

"I am being honest, Livie. But there's more you can do if you wish. Just take it slow so you get used to me. And don't be afraid to really use your lips and tongue on me."

She got a determined look on her face, and she took a little more than the head in past her full lips. She held still, and I could feel her tongue probing me again, but with more pressure and while she was unskilled, she wasn't afraid. I moaned and moved my hips side to side, but I didn't lift off the bed, tempted as I was. I didn't want her to feel like I was being overly aggressive and forcing more of my cock into her mouth before she was ready. Her right hand held me around the base and instead of moving her mouth up and down, she used her hand to pump me, slowly to start, but soon she was moving it faster and confidently. Olivia used her to tongue to keep teasing all around the crown of my cock and I was shaking, especially my legs. I give her a lot of credit: she wasn't afraid to use what she knew to make me feel as good as she could.

"Livie, that's really great" I groaned as my hand touched her head, sharing affection and some TLC. "You're making me feel fantastic."

Olivia just smiled at me around my cock, and then she moved her mouth a little, bobbing her head just another inch or so, but she was moving fast and I let myself concentrate on my pleasure. Soon enough, I was feeling that need. I didn't know how she would react to tasting my cum, so I warned her. "Bella, I'm almost there. Almost ready to cum..." She didn't stop, didn't pull away. When I cried out that I was cumming, Olivia tried to take it in her mouth and swallow, but she gagged after the second spurt and while her hand kept jerking me, she pulled away with a small cry of her own. By continuing to use hand, she got me all the way through my climax. Was it the best orgasm of my life. Hardly. But she tried and I could tell she was the type that would get much better with a little practice. It was her first blowjob, after all.

But first, Olivia was crying. I forgot about the mess in my lap and I sat up as quick as I could. "Bella, what's wrong? Did I hurt you or make you feel used?"

"No, Jon. I'm sorry, I botched that. I can't do things right! I wanted to do something special for you and learn to be able to do this in the future, but I ruined it for you!" She came into my arms and sobbed on my chest as I held her and did what I could to soothe her.

"Please don't cry, Bella. Look at me, please? Please, Bella." She looked up still crying but not as hard. Her small breasts were jiggling up and down as her chest heaved and it was oddly erotic. "I'll be honest with you. It wasn't the best I've ever experienced, but I hardly expected it to be. It's not like you've had a lot of experience. Like everything else, it takes some practice. We all have to learn things about sex, like everything else. You think the first time I gave a girl oral sex, she loved it? She was less than impressed." I thought back in time to when I nervously went down on Cynthia Roselli, so many years ago, approaching her pussy like I was going to the gallows. She didn't exactly enjoy my efforts and she wasn't afraid to let me know about it. "You did make me cum, Livie. So you had to be doing something right. It felt good, And you were so eager to make it good for me. Don't worry about the ending. We can try again when we want. I promise, I'll enjoy practicing with you." She started laughing through her tears.

"I'm sure you will. You're such a sweet man, Querido. I don't know why you're being so patient with me."

"Because you're worth it. I like you a lot. I enjoy the time we've been spending together the last few weeks. I didn't think I could feel this way about a woman again. The more we talk and do things together, the more I enjoy being with you. I even sang for you. That's a rare thing, believe me. Aside from my family, I've almost never done that for anyone. My friends here know I play, but they don't know I sing. And you also are patient with me. It takes time, Bella." I kissed her and both of us got sticky down below. Olivia laughed a little and then I pushed her over and rolled on top of her, making us both a real mess.

"Jon! That's so naughty!" She wasn't offended, not in the least. We were actually having a lot of fun together. It was like a big step up in our relationship, having fun in bed that wasn't actually having sex. But it was very adult. "I'm very glad I met you, Querido. And I love you calling me Bella." We kissed a few times before she got up to get us a damp towel ("It's still your birthday, so you just relax there"). Then we rested together and made a little pillow talk before we called it a night. I pretty damn good night.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

About ten days later I met Olivia's daughters and their families when she had us all over for early dinner on Sunday. Anita, her oldest, was wary of me; from what Olivia had told me, she was particularly close to her father. But her husband Rodrigo and their sons, Enrique and Jorge all were very friendly. And her younger daughter, Pillar, and her husband Gary and their daughter Jenna were fine as well. Pillar was three months pregnant, carrying a boy. Overall, it was a lovely afternoon/evening and by the end, Anita was opening up towards me.

Over the next three months, Olivia and I became very close. We even took a long weekend to Chicago together to see Rachel perform an evening of Chopin. Olivia had a strong background in classical music, and she knew all the pieces Rachel played. We sat in the third row, both of us beaming at my daughter, who by then had a strong following in the classical world. We could have stayed in Rachel's condo with her and Tony (and Sam) but truthfully, we wanted to be alone at night. I wanted to find out if hotel rooms brought out something extra in Olivia. They did. We had a great time.

We regularly got together with friends where we lived, plus Larry and his wife Gina, as well as a few friends of Olivia's. We were an official 'couple'. And I sang for her often. I was comfortable in her presence, and she loved hearing me go through my various ballads. I sang them all for her. All except one. That one would always be for Eva alone.

I still went to visit Eva's grave every few weeks. I still loved her and I always would. But as I got closer to Olivia, I was bothered that Eva was becoming less important. I was falling in love with Olivia, but I couldn't say it to her. And she wasn't the type of woman to say it first, though I could tell she was feeling it.

One night in late April the situation came to a head. We were snuggled together on my couch after dinner, and we were feeling romantic. We started kissing, gradually getting more and more passionate. But when I suggested we go in the bedroom, Olivia sat up straight and shook her head no. She pulled away and her deep, dark eyes bored into me. "Jon, I need to know something. And I need you to be completely honest with me. Do you think we have a real future together? Do you feel that way about me, in your heart?" Then her voice got a little bit lower. "Jon...do you love me?"

Shit. I should have expected this to happen. It really was inevitable. "Bella, I don't know how to answer that. I feel something incredibly powerful for you. But I had a great love for a very long time. I still love Eva. I'll never not love her. And I feel very torn about it. I never expected to meet someone like you, someone I would fall for like this. I hate the thought of hurting you. But I don't know if I can honestly tell you what you want to hear." Tears were falling down her face and I was close to tears myself.

She got up and stared out the window at the greening grass and trees. "Jon, I didn't think I could say this to you, but I love you. So very much. But if you can't say it back to me, from your heart, then I don't know if we should see each other anymore. I'd like to think we can have a great future together. I'd love to live with you, but I won't do that with a man who doesn't love me."

I did love her, in my heart. I was terrified of saying it, like if I did, my love for Eva would die, and I never wanted that to happen. I stood up and walked behind her, then I turned her around very gently. Her eyes were still wet, but her face was set firm, with a look of hurt and anger. "I'm sorry, Livie. I don't know what to say right now. I think about us living together. And I know you deserve to be loved. I feel it, I think. But I'll never say it unless I'm absolutely positive. I won't use you like that. I care about you way too much to do that."

We were both crying now. I was hurting both of us, and I hated myself for it. But I would have hated myself more if I lied to Olivia. I held her and she cried on my chest, but she didn't hold me in return. "Jon, if you can't say what you think you feel, you should leave. And don't come back. I need to be loved. I deserve to be loved. And you know what's so funny about that? I feel this way because of you. Isn't that ironic?" she said bitterly.

I kept holding her until she pushed me away. My heart was aching, but probably not as much as Olivia's was. At first I was lost as to what to say. The thought of leaving her was just terrible. Then I thought of something. "Livie, give me a few days to search my feelings. Four or five. I guess if I can't figure it out by then, I don't deserve you. I just didn't expect to be in this place less than two years after losing my wife. Just give me a few days. If you can."

"I shouldn't do this, Querido. I shouldn't even call you that. But I want to be with you. I'll give you a few days. I must be out of my mind." I moved to kiss her head but she pushed away. "No, Jon, don't. Not now, not like this. Just go. Figure out what's important to you."

I left her apartment on a warm, sunny April day, and all I felt was gloom. I hated myself for not being able to do what any other man would have done, get down on my knees and declare my love for Olivia Camarena. But this wasn't easy for me. I still had a huge love for Eva that I didn't want to lose.

I got in my car and called Cammy. She answered with her bright, cherry voice. "Hey Bro, what's going on? How's your pretty lady?"

"That's why I'm calling? Can I come over, alone? Or I could meet you somewhere? I really need to talk to you." My best friend in the world, I didn't say.

She could hear the distress in my voice. "Sure, come to the house. I was about to go do some shopping, but you're much more important. Kyle is at the Phillies and won't be home for a while. Come over now."

I thanked her profusely and drove over in my electric Beemer, still my favorite car. I buzzed over quickly, and my sister met me at the door with a big, sisterly hug. Since Eva died, my 'little' sister had been my rock, the person who kept me going when I thought I couldn't go on. She often called me her hero, but she was my hero as well.

Cammy didn't ask me anything as she led me to her family room. She had a pitcher of iced tea and glasses set out already, and we just sat for a little while. She knew I'd talk when I was ready. Until then, she let me collect my thoughts.

Finally I spoke to her. "Cammy, I think I'm going to lose Olivia. I never thought I'd feel like this about another woman after I lost Eva, but I think I love her. No, I'm sure I do. But I'm terrified if I tell her, I'll lose Eva, in my heart and soul. I couldn't bear that." Then I started crying and my sister gathered me to her breast as if she was my mother. letting me cry myself out as she rubbed my back. Cammy was 68, like Olivia, and, also like Olivia, she was still a stunning woman. Also, she was smart as a whip. She could analyze any problem, break it into its various parts, and figure out a solution. It was one of the things that made her such a talented lawyer before she retired.