All Comments on 'Just Good Business Pt. 01'

writing until after you have Proof Read this attempt and spotted all the errors, including the frequent cases where you've omitted words.

Example from the second paragraph - "We will focus (on?) one particular male, Derek."

Another example - "He looked her (in?) the eyes for the first time while sober."

Plot line is obvious and been done before. The beginning is rather clumsy and full of errors. Yes, this makes a difference - don't rely on a program to proof read, if you even did that much. You need an editor.

Keep going if you want to. Some literary issues, but I enjoyed it, and would continue to read it.

and just keep writing the story! There are TONS of stories where the writers put NO effort into fixing the errors around here for those to go bitch about, there wasn't really any real glaring issues.

would love to read more about what all he can do to Karen to humiliate and own her. More please!

Up the Haters. I for one want to see where this goes. He still has the Cleaning lady to bring into his Harem. Not to mention other Women who need his Control as he will instruct them.

"before falls asleep"

"A knock on his door awoken Derek"

"you, people, more"

"I shouldn't be here with a peon"

The only way this drivel could be worse... oh, wait!

Grammar errors can and will be fixed later. Lack of originality and interesting plot will take more work to fix however.

I definitely want more, good begining to a hot serise.

Still waiting for part 2.