Karl and Scott (Ch. 04)

With no prelude, no chit-chat, he hauled up my ass and started making out with my asshole. FUUUUUUCK. God fucking damn this was better than anything he had done before, setting me off like a rocket. In fact, it was a little too exciting, as I had to bite my tongue hard to keep from letting loose a string of damning profanities that would have brought the entire floor running. I could feel his wildly-strewn clothes near me, and for some reason decided to grab them to serve as a gag to keep myself from screaming in ecstasy. But holy fuck... when I got the fabric to my face, I realized I had grabbed his underwear. Underwear deeply infused with his goddamn masculine, sweaty, musky scent. I breathed in his man smell, and nearly shot my wad right there. I was then wildly rubbing it in my face, nearly hyperventilating as I went.

Karl's head slid up, and we locked eyes... we both couldn't take it anymore. He looked around wildly, and saw the bottle of lube I had brought back from our weekend. Without grace, skill, or even a care, he splatted some on my ass, working it in as he rubbed the rest on his dick. Without a word he stood up, got between my legs so they were around his hips, and fucking tore into me.

I yelped at first. "Go slow. Gimme a second," I hissed through clenched teeth. He stood down, but I could see the boiling need raging behind his eyes. He barely gave me enough time to adjust, but the reality is I didn't care. I needed him. I needed us to fucking rut like we fucking Grizzley bears in heat. And he gave it to me. No elegance. Raw, blood-curdling fucking. I loved it. It was only a few minutes--far too few for my taste--before we both launched into simultaneous blasts white-hot cum. How we managed to keep it quiet and not set off the fire alarms is beyond me.

"Jesus," I said when we could finally breathe again. "Have you been practicing?"

"I didn't think this was going to happen. I mean, I've been trying to be good... you know, keep it cool, keep it casual. And I know you're busy. But finally I just... really wanted to see you. Just to talk. I mean, I'm always horny and thought maybe something would come up... but dude, you have an effect on me I can't control. And I don't know if I want to control."

"I know what you mean," I replied. "I mean, I thought I was just going to hug you, but my body went to autopilot. I suddenly needed more. And kept needing more."

Karl propped himself up on one arm. "The sad thing is, I really can't stay. Is it weird if I..."

"No Karl, don't worry. I get it. I'm still pretty swamped myself with stuff I have to get done. And... we don't want to raise suspicions. But, I'm... really glad to see you."

"It's really good to see you, too. I...." Karl finally went on almost pleadingly. "Look, I know we're keeping things cool and casual and all, but... would you.... I mean, I could stop by every now and again, if that's ok."

I grinned. "That is very ok. Cool, I'll let you stop by when you want, but in payment for taking up all my valuable time... how about leaving your undies?"

Karl stared at me for a minute before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. "See? You're turning into a pretty sick horndog too, you know?"

The final few weeks of school were a bit of a blur. Karl stopped by pretty much daily, and we went to town on each other as quietly and efficiently as we could. Some days he stopped by after lunch, sometimes while out on his morning run, sometimes as our crew was heading back to the dorms after dinner. We tried to be as discreet as possible, although as time when on I stopped being so maniacally concerned. For the most part we stuck to oral, as it was usually easier to manage on the fly. To our great mutual pleasure, we, um, tried various things on for size, we pretty much realized we both liked it all, so we never fell into any formal roles, or patterns. That said, the heavy constraints of communal living meant that although we could explore to some degree, we didn't have the freedom to really try things out. Certainly not loudly.

I think the release we offered each other paradoxically gave us the focus we needed to bear down and get through those last weeks of classes. But we never really talked about what was going to happen after graduation. Karl and his roommate had already secured an apartment, and he was lined up to start a summer internship that would hopefully lead to a job in the fall... a dream job, if an entry-level one, with a company in his field. I had secured a full scholarship to grad school out east, and my plan had been to leave sometime after graduation to move out east, find an apartment, and get myself situated in preparation for the fall. Changing our respective plans would have been complicated, and complicating.

There was only the clandestine encounters, and for me the indelible memories of Karl's touch, his scent... and his fucking eyes. Despite the fact we saw each other only fleetingly and on the sly, he was an ever-present presence in my mind.

The term ended and finally we were at graduation. After finals, most of the underclassmen left for the summer, but graduating seniors had a few days to themselves on campus. Karl's extended family was driving up for the graduation ceremony, and I had out of town family here as well. Our time would no longer be our own. We would see each other, sure, but we had one last chance to truly be together.

As our group of friends wrapped up dinner, Karl asked if I wanted to go for a quick walk. Our friends let us be... they had no idea what had been going on between us, but given everything that happened over the year I think they instinctively understood we needed some time together and respected our privacy.

It was a surreal walk, going across the campus that was mostly quiet, with a few glimmerings of life scattered her and there as folks celebrated the upcoming graduation, took one last pass at favorite haunts, or dreamed of new futures that were just now opening up before them. My feelings with Karl encompassed all of this, but also were colored by swirls of complicated emotions I barely knew how to identify. It had been easy pushing all complex thought to the side while we were in the headlong rush to finish the semester--and to enjoy the incredible release and excitement of toe-curling sex with him--but the reality we had been ignoring for the past few weeks was now rudely staring us in the face.

It was... hard.

We slumped down on a favorite bench, where we had hung out many times, and stared quietly into the night. Summer was coming, and the air was touched with humid warmth. Even so, the warmth couldn't quite drive away a cold emptiness in my gut.

"Scott, I wanted to say something to you," Karl said, finally breaking the silence. "And, well, to say a lot to you. Please let me get through everything." He took a huge breath, and let it out. I nodded, and let him go.

"I just wanted to say that... ...... Shit. Goddamn, guys don't do well talking about feelings, and I'm worse than most."

I gave a small, sympathetic smile to him.

"Ok. Here goes. Your friendship has been the most important friendship of my life. I mean, it goes on way, way beyond friendship. Emotionally yes, and the physical stuff too. I mean, I don't want to sound crass and all, but... well, everything we've done in bed... it's hit me in ways... it's helped me in ways I never expected. It's fed my soul, and every time I'm with you, it just makes me more hungry. For more."

My smile moved more into a smirk, but I bit my tongue so as not to make a smart-ass remark to break the mood.

"But it's been more than that. You... you've been better to me than I ever deserved. The whole time we've known each other, but especially this spring. It wasn't just that we connected, you... brought out things and part of me that I didn't see. Made me better than I was. You were a foundation for me. And I've never repaid you. In fact I fucking stabbed you in the back, like a complete fucking asshole. And even then, after everything went down, you went beyond your best self, making me really see parts of me I didn't see, and being even more of a foundation for me. This year would've crashed and burned if it wasn't for you... the person I fucked over. I... can never thank you enough. Never. Enough. You...."

Karl's voice finally cracked with emotion. "Scott... I love you."

I had stayed silent up until now as a courtesy, to let him finish. Now, as emotions crashed over me, I couldn't have spoken up if I tried.

Karl went on. "And I think I've always loved you. As I've thought more and more about it, I think that was a big reason I slept with Liz. I was... jealous of you. Wanting you. Mad you didn't want me. I was mad about my feelings toward you. I would never have admitted it to myself, never to you, but I think in my own way I was acting out, retaliating against you for something that wasn't your fault. Hurting you for what I was feeling. And it was easy, because I always thought sex was just sex. No big thing. But now? Sex with... you...? I've never felt so close to someone. It's scared me, excited me... it's something more deep and personal than I knew possible. It made we want to share more with you. Only with you. I'd already fallen for you--I know that now--but the sex brought it to a higher level than I could have thought. God, I love you. So fucking hard. And I...."

At that moment, I cut him off completely involuntarily--the dam burst and I let out an explosive gasp that dissolved into a shuddering fit of ugly-crying. As he gathered me up in his arms, the water-works burst for him, too. God, we were a mess.

Finally he continued. "I love you, man. I fucking love you. And I know this doesn't change anything. I just...."

"I love you, Karl. I love you," I said simply, cutting him off.

And we kissed... a kiss greater even then the famous kiss in "The Princess Bride."

And so it was that one chapter in our lives came to a close, and a new one began. As it turns out, Karl was wrong: many things did change for us, and would continue to change for us. Such is life. But the best change of all came that very evening. You see, we had always had great sex...

...but that night, we finally made love.

THE END