All Comments on 'High Velocity PSA Pt. 04'

I stopped reading at that point. I won't score this because I didn't finish it.

Just had a DP with two hoodlums, and you love your husband? What a whore! Barbie is a mess.

Do not feel the need to write anymore. Your childish stories are bringing down an already awful LW category.

she is nothing but a cheating cunt.

sure as hell not a loving wife, at least for her husband

she really made a fool out of ethan, long before he had the surgery

I'm enjoying the story in backhanded way . Barb's forays into extramarital carnality initially are for altruistic motivations ( much like the historical Lady G.) . First it was for hospital funding, then to fund Kmart to Target upgrade in terms of purchases for progeny and now she did 3-some to extract beloved husband from from being mired legal quicksand. Barb's libido gets kickstarted in the process , but never her heart.

There's a nascent Alice in Wonderland sensibility to this tale. It starts out as loose pebble kicked free on mountain summit with consequences developing to avalanche proportions. Maybe lava would be the better metaphor ? Because one thing for sure, everyone of the main characters from Nurse Barbie, the crooked cop, to poking powerbroker and even the hubby with wrap-around marital rose-colored glasses have got the fire down below.

The supporting characters could use some polish to shine like Mad Hatter, White Rabbit and Red Queen but story is readable. My 2nd quibble is that it was Laertes, not Hamlet who dueled with toxic blade . The Prince of Denmark made some dicey decisions, but was an accomplished swordsman and didn't need to chisel in that regard. He knew his hawk from handsaws (when wind was Southerly) and could distinguish an epee from finta in tempo.

I thank ribnitin for sharing.

but the story jumped the shark - as a member of a family full of LEOs the assassination of a cop was a bit too much to make the story believable in the US

another cocksucking WIMP posting DUMB cuck SHIT.

By your logic, all those who "bleat" against "BTB Fetish" stories, are wimps who wish the could BTB their cheating wives!

the worse the ending to the original gets.

Just how many sick fucking authors are there on this site?

Despite all the negative and nasty comments, I think you're story is well written. The problem I'm having, though, is the whole nature of the tale. To me, it's so unbelieveable that a professional woman would put so much at risk and wound her husband so badly by descending into the evil world of Guy an Bill. I cannot help rooting for Ethan to beat the crap out of his wife and burn down Guy's strip joint. There has to be some day of reckoning here. If she was that much of a slut, and she really loved Ethan, it would have been so much kinder for her to simply divorce him. Every time I read one of your stories, I feel a profound sense of sorrow for Ethan. So tell us...what is your end game with these stories? I don't see the point of exploring all the pain and betrayal with only Ethan's death at the end. End this series with some kind of "good guy wins" scenario. Perhaps go back in time and have Ethan shoot Guy and Bill in the balls. Please...some righteousness here

Each chapter feels like we are living through more and more disrespect, more and more abuse, from the wife couninously inflicting pain on Ethan.

Chapter one was rough with an ugly ending. But each successive chapter is helping us, the reader, see just how vile, how cruel, how disturbing his wife truly was to him.

In this chapter alone we see that she knew he had health problems and instead of being a wife, or even a nurse, and dragging him in to get help, she just shrugs her shoulders and runs back to get fucked by her superhero studs at the strip club. Intentionally leaving her husband, her supposed most important patient, to slowly die while she gets tongue fucked by a man she once despised and got fired back at the hospital.

Knowing how the story ends (he dies horrifically of this cancer - while the wife, the stripper girl and his wife’s soon to be boyfriend, who also gets the pleasure of marring the stripper girl - get everything of his) how much more can you pile on? Ethan has nothing left to lose. More importantly nothing left to give or for them to take. Not the company, the wife saved it and got the pleasure of fucking her studs after it. Not his life, even his wife won’t help him fight for that. Dignity, pride, hope or some sense of personal salvation, we all read chapter one - so we know he doesn’t even get to keep any of that.

They need to switch over to the “Romance” category.

The stories are well written. Maybe Tina would be a nice place to examine. I love a stripper with a heart of gold. If Barbie could have been more honest with Ethan, she would have been in the heart of gold territory. Because she stripped and lied about it we lost respect of her. She lied about how far she went with Guy. She could have entertained the police and not have gotten them off.

Tina on the other hand is up front. She is a stripper by trade. She warned Barbie about messing around with Mike. She did it for up front reasons. She is a flawed but decent person.

Like other comments, I think your story is well written. But you have taken a character, in Barbie, who was shown to be reprehensible in the first chapter, only to fall even deeper into the muck in following chapters. She is first a stripper, then a whore, next a prostitute, then a serial cheater. No matter how she tries to explain, or to rationalize her behavior, she only comes off as a narcissistic, cheating slut. Deciding she loves her sick husband right after oral sex with a man she had fired, and a DP with her criminal lovers shows just how low she really is. Ethan will die a slow, horrible death, never knowing just what a monster he married. Barbie telling herself she did all this for her family and Ethan is just a cop out. You can't rehabilitate her now. The only way to finish this story is for Guy and her other lovers to die as horribly as Ethan. Then let Barbie lose her reputation, her job, and her family, she's already lost her soul. If she marries one of her criminals and lives happily ever after, then you, author, have lost your soul too, as well as your mind. I know its just a story, just fiction, but as a nurse for 15 years, married to nurse of 20 years, I feel that you have disrespected nurses as well as women as whole.

Guy needs to go down in flames. The whore wife needs to be thrown in jail. You need to get Ethan some revenge. You are a good writer and you can save this story. Suggestion....Ethan awakes from a bad nightmare....a real nightmare that happened right after the wife started stripping..and he really doesn't have cancer. But his nightmare is really a premonition that his wife is turning into a whore. He does some investigating while the wife slips deeper and deeper into the dark side. And then in a blaze of glory, he brings down the whole house of cards. Yes...you can save this story. No more pain for Ethan...Please! Do it ! Do it now!

Not sure what.

You get off on making Barbie more vile by the second or Ethan more the victim.

Deranged isn't entertaining or a turn on to me so enjoy spanking to dogshit and vomit because that is what you are writing.

Ciao

It's just a story. Barb is a fictional character , who has a good heart created by author who has a goodly amount of inspiration and imagination, but still a novice in technique. The virulent critics , by way of contrast, booger eaters and mouthbreathers of the highest rank. You have hated story for three installments ? It's not for you . Don't read it . You're hurting yourself .

The first chapter wasn't bad but I did comment on Ethan being made into too much a victim.

This author can write ok and the sex isn't bad but the flavor of despicable and victimization is a truly vile taste.

Some people like spanking while eating shit and drinking piss.

I'm simply wondering if that is the kink here and if so, It definitely will be something I avoid despite this author's writing abilities.

too bad so many haters that fail to read the entire story from end-to-end. The end of the story were the first two installments. The last two provide great background of the wife. Well written. As for the haters, move on.

Don't guide understand why anyone who doesn't like the cheating wife, cuck stories is a mouth breathing, limp dicked wanna be cuck himself. I don't have to have a BTB story to be satisfied. I like a good reconciliation story when forgiveness is earned. I can't see how this makes me less a man than the guys who think every woman is or should be a slut. Those who hate the thought of a faithful, living wife. That said, Barbie is the most vile character in LA annals. She is a fictional character for sure, but very richly deserved a horrible fictional death.

She went back to be fucked because she was trading sex for help with her husband's legal problem, like any prostitute. And she really really enjoyed the sex, and why not? She has no morals or personal ethics, no self respect or integrity, and the sex feels really good to her. Someone asked one of the famous gangster way back, why did he rob banks? His answer? "Because that's where the money is." She is fucking Bill and Guy because that's where the great sex is. And when she's in the moment she doesn't even remember that she is a wife and mother. She is a promiscuous psychopath, who has lost touch with her soul. At least her husband escaped. I pity her children.

And her husband gets prostate cancer and dies when it was this skeeze who deserved that fate. All Ethan did was be a good father and husband. His kids weren't even there when he died but this skank gets like 6 guys to love her? Just cuz she's hot, we are doomed as a species.