All Comments on 'Kim Delany'

please oh please get someone to proof-read your stories before you submit them - tons of spelling errors.

Since English is a 2nd language, PLEASE use a spell-checker and also a proof-reader..... this was/is PAINFUL....

loved the start of a good story, hope there are many more chapters.

Kind of a cute start to a story line. Multiple grammar and pronunciation mistakes but an editor will fix that. Kind of distracted by the idea of a Master with several (many) slaves. I have been in the scene for a number of years and that is very atypical. I think our author got BDSM and harem stories confused. However don't know if English is his primary language or culture.

As others have already mentioned your story would benefit from a good editor. Keep trying and see if you can find someone to help with the editing.

I am currently working on finding an editor to help my fix the problems in this story, once I have a fixed version I do and edit submission. I thank you all for your comments they have helped me get better already.

Thank you,

Tanhors.

I won't belabor the points made by others. The story was interesting even though BDSM isn't usually my thing. I never thought forcing anyone to be interesting. David just appears to be a 'sugar daddy' to Lucy at least. His other girls might be in the same situation and they dig it. Good for them. Be careful Kim.

A little editing would be good, but that pales when compared with the charm of your story. David is a rare person who combines dominance with tender, loving concern for his subs. It's unique in the world of BDSM and really excellent for that uniqueness. I was fortunate to have a slave for more than a decade who appreciate my gentle style an gave me back the most amazing love and affection. We were both lucky methinks. I quite like to device of not describing them too exactly. It works beautifully. When my slave needed correction instead of physical punishment I had her write a page or two detailing what had caused my displeasure and how she would improve her behavior henceforth. She hated doing it, so it was remarkably effective. Thanks for the cool story I will read any upcoming chapters eagerly.