Kink University - Ch. 11 - Confidence

I slept straight through the night and awoke to a hand tightly grasping my small breast. My ring wasn't pulsing yet, though I couldn't imagine it would be long before it did. Mystery's hand was pulsing unusually, giving quick twitchy squeezes, and I wondered what kind of dream they were having. They gave a soft whimper. I pushed myself back into them, so that we were closer together. I hoped that this would help a little.

Then I noticed ... a certain tightness in both of my breasts. Sort of like when I had started hormone replacement therapy and my breasts had swollen. I reached a hand up to gently poke the boob that wasn't being grasped.

"Oh!" I said, a tenderness catching me off-guard. I felt around the nipple with my finger and thought I could feel a little wetness. I would have explored more, but my ring began to pulse.

Mystery stirred and let out a startled noise before they quickly released me. They then rolled to the opposite side of the bed and called over their shoulder with an uncharacteristically tired tone, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," I replied, as my face burned red. Beyond my embarrassment from the awkwardness of this moment, I did not mind the cuddles. They were nice, even beyond my deep-seeded horniness. I looked at them, trying to think of how to respond, but noticed their eyes stared with uncharacteristic dullness at the log wall. Something else was going on.

I asked, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Mystery said, and shook their head tiredly. "I was just ... kind of having a nightmare, I think."

I sat up in bed and turned to face them, feeling quite unsure of myself. I found myself wanting to crawl over and sit next to them. But a lack of self-assurance left me scared that this might somehow make them feel uncomfortable. It did occur to me how foolish this idea was in the face of them having just been squeezing my boob.

I asked, "Do you want to talk about it?" Even as I asked the question, I felt like doing so really wasn't enough.

"Nah," Mystery replied, returning to their signature smile as they finally faced me again. "Just past life stuff. School, family, blah, blah, blah. I don't want to think about it. Want to get breakfast together, though?"

I felt like their feelings were more than that ... and distinctly like they were trying to spare me. The mental image of something I'd seen on television—a family member or close friend hugging another and prying in a gentle way—flashed in my eyes. But when I tried to move or make myself say something just the slightest bit assertive, I was rewarded with tunnel vision and my muscles freezing. What the hell was wrong with me?

Lamely, I heard myself reply with a chipper, "sure!" before climbing out of bed on my own side.

As I chastised myself inwardly, we gathered our robes and dirty clothes, exited the cabin, and swapped out our laundry for the neatly folded pile of fresh clothes. In an awkward silence, we meandered to the showering house. This time, I was arriving with the crowd instead of at the tail end of a rush, so there were plenty of people shuffling in around us. This was a bit intimidating, so I tried to keep my head down as best as possible.

As soon as I was able, I walked toward an open stall. It was only as I was closing it that Mystery brushed past me, into the same showering room. I paused, feeling my body freeze up.

They turned their head and said, "Oh ... did you want me to leave you?"

"No!" I blurted, not wanting to offend them. Then I feared that I might have sounded too overeager and awkward. So, I stuttered for the words. "I'm ... you ... are you sure you want, uhm."

Mystery opened their mouth in an 'oh,' as if they knew exactly what was going on. They walked to the door pulled it closed, and then led me by the shoulder to the bench in front of the rudimentary shower. Then they turned and began to undress. "It's nothing you haven't seen before. We're roomies! Besides, I used to shower and skinny dip with friends all the time growing up."

I swallowed and nodded, trying hard not to think about the wave of internal transphobia and shame rising in me. The feelings that came with constantly seeing people like me called perverts and predators. And the dysphoria that came with that ... of being forced to wonder if I really was a man just trying to be gross.

"Come on," Mystery said, their tone more playful than impatient. They took the clean clothes and towel out of my hands and placed them on the bench. Then they turned me around so I could disrobe with a modicum of privacy. After I had taken my undershirt off, I felt them place a hand on my shoulder. "I've had trans women as friends, you know?"

"That ... makes one of us," I replied honestly. Of the few acquaintances I had had friendly relationships with back on Earth, none of them had been trans. It wasn't as if I hadn't tried, there were a few trans people where I lived. But somehow, they had always been ... established ... confident ... already thriving in a world of their own. Unlike me, staying at home, only daring to even go to the grocery stores when it was early in the morning so that as few people saw me as possible.

"Oh ... that makes sense then," Mystery said. They turned me around, and I felt my vision go tunneled as I focused all my energy on trying not to seem as uncomfortable as I felt. The worst part of doing so was knowing how obviously I was failing.

With a level of confidence that I had lacked when trying to be there for them earlier, Mystery said, "It's alright; we're just taking a shower together. You're here, you're Lilly, you're safe, I'm safe. We're roomies and I see you for who you are. Understand?"

God, they were such a good friend. And I felt so shit by comparison. I teared up a bit, unable to fully contain my jumbled bag of emotions. I managed a hoarse, "Thanks."

"Any time, Lilly," Mystery said with a smile. Then, they brought me by the hand to the shower. They opened the tap and hopped in first. "I will warn you, I'm kind of a water hog."

I giggled, the motion making my welled tears fall before I wiped them with my wrist. "That's fine."

We both soaped up and then took turns rinsing off. Under normal circumstances, I would have found the moment arousing and worried about the rising of my femininehood. But with everything I was feeling, the moment was ... a bit more significant than that.

When we were finished, we both toweled dry and slipped into our fresh clothes. I thought stepping out of the shower with them would be kind of awkward. To the contrary, however, nobody cared. In fact, many people were leaving with others—couples holding hands, seemingly platonic friends, and small groups of people that seemed exhausted in the best possible way. There was even a group of three guys who exited a bath, whipping wet towels at one another. Nobody batted an eye at the fact that we had shared a shower. Nobody looked at me like I was a creep.

This sensation of safety felt ... so foreign to me. I wasn't sure how to deal with it, and just tried to go slow as I joined in with so many people who were like me.

Mystery and I made our way to the tavern-styled cafeteria. Even before we entered, I could smell the warm, sweetish, sharp smell of sourdough bread. It made my mouth water. We passed through the doors and took our seat at a small table. There, already waiting for us, was a loaf of bread and hot, apple cider. Mystery and I looked at one another and smiled excitedly.

We began to scarf down the meal, with little regard for decorum. This was where I was in my element. I certainly didn't binge-eat. But when I was eating, all my attention was on the moment, the flavors, the warm and the cold. I was nearly entranced by the semi-sweet flavor and so jumped a little when somebody roughly sat themselves at the table beside me.

I turned to see Daava, who gave me a small and uncertain wave.

I could already see the crumbs on my robes, which suddenly made me feel waves of embarrassment. Trying not to draw too much attention to the motion, I awkwardly moved my arm up to brush away the breadcrumbs without it being too obvious.

Daava smiled calmly, as if she hadn't noticed and said, "Good morning, Lilly and-" She looked at Mystery with a calm expression that didn't seem characteristic of her. It took me a moment to recognize this bit of shyness that she hid beneath a façade of professional confidence.

I tried to introduce my roommate but immediately realized that my mouth was still full of bread. I'd been so busy trying to get the breadcrumbs off me, that I hadn't noticed that I was just sitting there with a mouthful of food like an idiot! I felt my face burn hotter and I covered my mouth with my hand to quickly chew down my food.

"Mystery! I'm Lilly's roommie," Mystery replied, graciously saving me from myself. They smiled warmly and asked, "Are you Daava?"

Even with my bread nearly swallowed, I almost choked when I heard Mystery say her name. I could feel the prickles of anxiety sweat on my head and neck.

Mystery walked around our small table and held out their hand. "Lilly told me she met someone cool named Daava. It's so nice to meet you!"

Daava slowly reached out her hand to theirs and shook it. Her eyes seemed to widen just a bit in surprise, but then she gave a small and genuine smile. "It's nice to meet you as well." She took a piece of bread from the center of the table, placed it on the plate in front of her, and began to spread some butter over it with a knife quite delicately.

My face burning pink, I finally swallowed and then gave a demure wave and whispered, "hi."

Daava gave a small chuckle, waved back, and whispered, "hello."

I returned to eating my own food, trying to at least take smaller nibbles. Of course, the crumbs seemed to jump out at me, no matter what I did. I wondered if I had the worst table-manners here. I might have dwelled on that question, but was saved in the form of loud grunting and scarfing coming from behind me.

I turned to see Mr. Ozgrub with a piece of bread in each fist—both dripping with butter and honey. When he saw me glance at him, he adjusted one of his hands and gave me a very sticky thumbs-up. I returned it and smiled. At least I was in good company with the orc professor?

We all ate in relative silence—kind of necessity since there wasn't a whole lot of extra time before classes started. Mystery was the first to finish their meal and head toward the washing station with their plate.

I nearly stood to follow them with my own plate when I felt a tug on my pink robe just above my own backside. Before I could consciously figure out how I felt about being grabbed somewhat forcefully, my neck began to burn and I felt a wave of heat. In a bit of a blur, I turned around to see what had happened.

Daava was there—still sitting—holding my robe with a clawed hand. Her forehead wrinkled for a moment in an expression that seemed unsure to me. Then she looked up to face me and her jaw tightened; she began to beam a surprising aura of confidence that she seemed to have to muster up, much like her confidence in talking to Mystery. Honestly, it impressed me the levels of confidence Daava managed to muster up, when it was clearly not always easy for her. It also ... very much turned me on.

Gently but firmly, Daava pulled her grip downward, forcing me to bend my knees ever so slightly to keep from losing balance. Then she said, "I've taken the liberty of choosing your classes—to begin your training toward a healing curriculum. From now on, your ring will make it clear where you are to go each day."

I gave a nod, finding myself in the usual position of having no idea what to do or say. "Uh, thank you." I said, finding the response somewhat ridiculous even as the words left my mouth.

Fortunately, Daava didn't seem to be as bothered by my response as I was. She smiled seductively and extended to me her cup, plate, and utensils. "Another part of your daily routine when we eat together."

Without even thinking, I found myself taking the crumb-covered items and stacking them with my own. Only then did she release my robes.

I felt a bit dizzy as I walked to the washing station and mindlessly cleaned both Daava's dishware and my own. At one point I glanced back to see her staring at my ass as I worked. She then waved a goodbye and began walking toward the exit.

Only by the time I was finished did I finally begin to shake out of my confused state. I walked toward the exit to the tavern and finally gained the presence of mind to look around and see if anyone was staring—having noticed the display. But nobody was looking at me, nobody except for Mystery who was waiting for me at the door with a Cheshire smile.

Immediately, my face heated. I asked, "... what?"

"Girl ..." Mystery replied and shook their head with a chuckle.

"Shut it," I said, unable to keep from giggling—which Mystery joined in on. Once outside, we began walking toward the auditorium.