by X-Factor
The next chapter in this love story is marvelous in all aspects. Beautifully written, with good character development and an emotion-charged plot, this is a story to tug at the heartstrings. The erotic and the romantic combine here to perfection thanks to the talent of the author, proving that the two are not only compatible, but wonderfully complementary. Five stars.
...while you excel at the sexual coupling, the feelings, the actions and the experience, the characters aren't forced to "advance" their agenda in any meaningful way. At this point if they've truly "fallen" for each other, then they should take more risks (with her, dumping her boyfriend or him, declaring his love for her--although risking Dave's wrath...or she has to get pregnant).
I really love the idea of them, but at some point they must evolve or the story stagnates. 4