Knife's Edge Pt. 02

But I tried pretending. We had some beer and some darts and made some jokes before Joel went back to work. Roy rallied us into starting. He played lead, Blake played bass, and they'd never played with a drummer. They had their own material but I kind of wanted to know what I was dealing with and asked if they knew any covers. A whole bunch of Iron Maiden apparently. I couldn't really envision it without drums. But they gave it a go.

I listened, thinking about it. Roy was younger but he was clearly the actual talent. Blake was an excellent frontman and in a way it was a shame he'd gone the bass route, because he had an amazing set of lungs on him and if he focussed on that he could have fooled me into thinking he was a real musician. The real problem was, they were both playing in different time signatures.

"So..." Blake pushed his hair off his face. "I guess you slot in on drums."

"That wasn't our best." Roy mumbled.

"Do you... I was thinking maybe you guys could... try that with a metronome first?" I tried not to sound too much like a stuck up asshole. I'm not sure it worked.

"I thought YOU were meant to be the metronome?" Blake raised his eyebrows at me with a look that said I was worth less to him than the dirt on the bottom of his shoe. I found myself tripping over my words. I can deal with that at work but for some reason I turn into an uncomfortable mess when I'm of the clock.

"Well, eventually yes but you aren't listening to each other- and you have no idea what this is meant to sound like anyway so even if you were it wouldn't help. We need to get you in time so that when I'm in the mix you actually hear me and get it..." Oh man. I sounded like such an ass.

"This is really big talk for someone who hasn't even touched the drums." Blake said. I twisted my hands awkwardly.

I hate drum solos. They're fun to play, for sure, but it's pretty rare that I ever feel like a drum solo enhances a song. I mean. Drums are the foundation of good music, and it's half ego but it's mostly true that drummers are usually the best players and kind of hold a song together. But that's why I love percussion. I love that one gong sound after 86 bars of nothing that lifts the whole piece and welcomes in a key change. I love the soft syncopated bass of davul. I love elevating art, not showing off.

But that doesn't mean I can't sit down at a drum kit and bang out a fucking good beat.

I looked up as I finished, twirling the sticks in my hand and feeling the sweat drip down my back. Roy and Blake glanced at each other.

"Alright." Blake blinked. "I guess we try a metronome."

--- --- ---

Drumming. I'd kind of forgotten. It was a really, really good way to drown out my own thoughts.

My parents still had my old kit in the garage, as far away from their house as they could legally put it. I started lifting in the morning and drumming when I finished before 9pm. AJ still wasn't calling. I wasn't sure if I was meant to be begging for forgiveness or moving on. So not thinking about it was a pretty good compromise.

And at work....

It was...

I mean awkward isn't the word. If anything- Joel and I were getting on, in a weird relaxed way that we never used to. He wound me up, but I kind of... almost liked it. And I gave it back like I always did, and Joel kind of smiled and laughed...

Shit. He was so hot.

And he...

He was so easy to be around. Well- when we weren't in the middle of service, and he'd burned a whole tray of snapper pies. But I wasn't that easy in that situation either.

I caught him looking at me from time to time. Just in a way. I don't even know what kind of way. I just know every time he did I could feel my cheeks get a little pink. My heart thump.

Having said that, he was in one hell of a mood today. Like he used to get when we were having particularly bad weeks, and costs of goods were way out and wage costs were too high. The best nights are always late summer- but the days were brutal at the moment; with the cost of living so high and public servants worried about their jobs. The owners got all stressed, and that meant clamping down on any intuition and creativity and that meant Joel was getting grumpier by the day.

And today was worse than usual. I was on the late shift and Joel was on a double and I arrived in the parking lot at the back to Ramon losing a fight with the rubbish bins.

"Woah, fuck dude, no!" I pulled him off without even really thinking about it and managed to wrestle his arms to his sides. He glared at me, breathing heavily. He closed his eyes and I felt his body go limp as he fell into an awkward hug.

"I'm quitting." He said.

"Please don't."

"Unless I get one hell of an arse licking apology from his royal fucking chef, I am leaving after service tonight and never coming back."

"What the fuck?" I met his eyes. "What's Joel done now?"

"He threw a hot potato at my face."

"What a cunt!"

"Ass!" Ramon's lips twitched. "Kind of funny. But what an ass!"

"Why..? Not that there's ANY excuse for...."

"I forgot to set a timer." Ramon's face fell. "There was a fair bit burnt. I did fuck up."

"Well normally when one fukcs up they get a lecture, not physical abuse." I sighed. "You ok?"

"No, I'm quitting." He kicked a pebble gently. I couldn't hear much conviction in his voice.

"Fair enough." I said. "I'll be your reference."

"Thanks Chef." Ramon smiled at me. "You have a way with him. If he plays nice and sucks my dick a bit we might be ok."

"I'll tell him to put on some chapstick." I clapped Ramon on the shoulder and he nodded at me and lit up a durry. Great. Putting out fires before I was even on the clock.

I walked in on him reaming Amy across the pass for making a mistake on an order. I didn't know what the mistake was, but I did know it was loud enough for customers to hear and Amy was in tears. I hustled her away, gave her a pep talk and a half hour paid break, and marched back to the kitchen.

"If you really have to cuss out everyone in the building can you at the very least do it out of earshot of the customers?" I sighed, rubbing my temples.

"Could you train your staff to not fuck up EVERY FUCKING service?" Joel whispered through gritted teeth.

God, I couldn't wait till five when we could both take a...

Huh.

A break.

I wonder...

I rationalised it easily. You'd think that how terrible I'd been feeling about AJ would have stopped me. But I kind of saw it as a business decision. Joel was being the world's biggest cunt. I had a chef threatening to walk out. I had staff at their wits ends. I had a feeling I could help.

"Joel." I stopped him as he was wrapping his knives aggressively an hour later.

"What?" He glared at me.

"I need you in the office for a second."

"I'll just..."

"Now."

He glared at me. His jaw clenched and I could see his muscles tensing. I didn't back down for half a second. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Oui." He said coldly. He dropped his knife roll on the bench and followed me as I started to head to the office. I glanced around as we moved. No one. Cameras were broken. I grabbed him and shoved him into the bathroom.

"What the fuck are you...." I locked the door as I wrapped one hand around his waist and looked up into his eyes. His eyes fluttered and he paused.

"Hey." I wrapped my other arm around him. "You're on edge today. You ok?"

"I'm just..." He cleared his throat. His cheeks were going a little pink. "What are you doing?"

"Checking in." I slid my leg between his thighs, pressing us against each other gently.

"Check in with everyone like this?" He was snaking his arms around me in return.

"I usually use the right tool for the job." I let myself whimper as his hand slipped between my jeans and my underwear. "I'm worried about you. You're really acting out today. Did something happen?" He pressed his head to my shoulder and sighed.

"No. I'm.... I'm sorry."

"It's not me you need to apologise to." I whispered, brushing my lips against his neck.

"I'm sorry I let you down by being a cunt." He sighed and swung us around, sitting on the toilet and pulling me into his lap. "I'll apologise to the chefs as well. Especially Ramon."

"And Amy."

"And Amy."

"I'd appreciate that." My hands undid his flies and his mouth dropped open a little as he allowed himself to be propped up so I could pull his pants around his ankles. I knelt before him, cringing a little at the state of the bathroom floor. He shuffled forward and closed his eyes as I ran my hands over his thighs.

Weirdly, I actually found my heart rate rising, and my body leaning in when he ruffled my hair. I could feel my cock stirring and I had to tell myself I was just gonna have to wait, that this wasn't about me.

I kissed Joel's inner thigh and he sat back and moaned very, very quietly. I licked his balls as gently as I could manage and slowly drew my tongue over his shaft.

"Good boy." He murmured. "That feels so good." He was throbbing with each stroke of my tongue and I was struggling not to make horny noises of satisfaction and the feeling of his hard cock in my mouth. I was drooling all over him in my efforts and he was thrusting into me lazily, breathing heavily.

"Not gonna hold back." He whispered. I didn't stop to reply to that, but I was relieved- this was a little cramped and my knees were starting to feel damp from... I didn't want to think about it. "Baby..." He inhaled sharply and I stifled a moan as his hand gripped my head, scrunching my hair, and his cock started going crazy: releasing hot, thick strands of cum down my throat. I swallowed, feeling my eyes glaze over as I went cum drunk.

Joel pulled me up and onto his lap again, holding my waist and wiping my face off. He smiled at me, looking about as brainless and happy as I felt.

"Rubes!" He hissed, chucking at the same time. "Come here." He pulled me close and before I could stop him, he was kissing me tenderly. "You know," he managed in between our mouths meeting, "I will always listen to you. You don't need to suck me off every time you need to tell me to get it together."

"You do seem in a better mood though." I smiled as he ran his hands over my chest. He tutted and shook his head at me.

"I'm not a dog." He cautioned. "You better not be pavloving me into anything here." He kissed me again.

"You did seem like you needed to relieve some tension." I caught his hands and made him pause. "You also did seem like maybe something was wrong. I wasn't just asking for the hell of it... are you actually ok? Because we can get Charlie to do a few lead shifts if anything is..."

"Aw, Rubes." Joel tucked my hair behind my ear. I felt warmth in my chest. I smiled at him. "I haven't been getting enough sleep." He muttered. "Too much weed and screen time. I'll work on it."

"I'll check in."

"I hope you do." He grinned at me. "Come here..." he tried to pull me in to kiss him again and I stopped him.

"As much as I want to keep making out with you in the bathroom all night, I need to get some admin done before my break." I stood up and Joel sighed, blinking up at me.

"Well. I appreciate the pep talk."

"Anytime." I brushed my hair back into place. Ugh, any longer and I'd need to start tying it up.

"Here." Joel fumbled in his pocket and threw a stick of gum at me.

"... Thanks?"

"Your breath smells like my dick." He grinned. I paused with my hand on the doorknob. I'd been about to check outside and make my escape but I was suddenly beet red and physically cringing.

"Oh my god." I mumbled. I quickly unwrapped the gum as Joel stood up, nonchalantly, and flopped his penis in the sink to rinse it off. "I really didn't need to see that." I shuddered.

"Deal with it." He sighed, shaking it off. "Bathroom sex has consequences Rubes. I can't work with cum baking into my crotch all night."

"Ew."

---- ----

I saw him talking to Ramon, his head in his hands. Ramon was nodding. He caught my eye and grinned at me. He mouthed a thank you and I grinned with relief.

Dinner service was actually lovely. I felt like I was bouncing around, mostly on top of things. My head wasn't quite there... I was day dreaming. My mind was drifting. Not an unpleasant experience but I was lucky we weren't having any issues since I was in la la land.

Fuck, I was horny.

My plan had been to check in with AJ tomorrow. He'd have to at least give me a yes or no about rent, surely? And that meant maybe we'd be back together and he could scratch that itch.

But... there was also Joel.

I was putting away cutlery by the pass, listening to him chatting to Lara about his weekend plans, which were so far: smoking and sleeping. I tried not to react to that, but I glanced up and Joel was giving me a bashful smile. Lara turned away to finish the risotto.

"You have tomorrow off?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah."

"Up to much tonight?" I asked, rearranging the plates to the left of the pass.

"Na, just..." Joel paused and frowned at me. I met his eye and gave him the tiniest smile I could manage. He grinned. "Closing late probably? Think I'll be the last one here."

"Yeah late one for me too." I yawned.

"Lift home then?" Joel suggested casually.

"Thanks." I nodded at him and drifted away, trying to hide the grin on my face.

---- ----

"So your place or mine?" He thumped down heavily beside me at the end of the day, just us left in the building, spreading his legs and letting his hands fall behind his head. I grinned and let myself look at him for a second, my eyes traveling over his tensed triceps and his waist where his shirt was riding up. I turned back to my laptop and rubbed my neck.

"Well I live with my parents..." I slapped his hand away as he reached for my thigh. "Stop, I'm not finished."

"Ugh, don't look at me like that then tell me to stop." He laughed. "Aight, my place, perfecto." He sighed and tapped his foot. "Close to finished?"

"Go browse reddit." I nudged his knee. "Five minutes."

"Oui." He sighed, pulling out his phone. I tapped away, glancing at him occasionally as I paused to think about things. Fuck, he was even hot lounged over a chair looking bored out of his brain with half his stomach hanging out. I grinned to myself. AJ would never be caught dead looking so laissez-faire. I quickly turned back to my work before Joel caught me staring and finished up.

"Ok."

"Finished?"

"Yep." I closed my laptop and Joel slid over to me, grinning from ear to ear.

"Those cameras still broken?" He whispered as he leaned in close to me, his stubble brushing my cheek.

"Yeah." I wrapped my arms, and then- fuck it, my legs, around him. He moaned as he held me close to him, lifting me on to his lap and trailing his hand down my chest as I clung to him. He pushed my hair away from my forehead and his fingers tangled tightly in the curls as he held me. He grinned, pinning me close to him and directing my head. I watched him intently as we ground our hips against each other and he groaned in delight feeling how hard I was. He pulled me in close, one hand on the small of my back, and then held me, just out of reach for falling into him...

"Fuck." He murmured. His eyes flickered from mine down to my lips, and over my whole chest, before looking back at me. His hand gripped the back of my head tighter and I closed my eyes in anticipation, struggling against his grip to reach him. My eyes fluttered open to see him grinning at me, holding himself away from me.

"What are you doing?" I panted.

"Winding you up." He pressed his lips to my cheek and I felt myself shiver as his stubble grazed against me. He was touching me, just barely, like a whisper. He wouldn't let me go to kiss him. My cock twitched as he stared into my eyes.

"Why?" I mumbled.

"It's real fucking hot when you look at me like this." He bit his lip. I swear I could feel the pre leaking into my underwear. I closed my eyes and heard myself whimper as I rolled my hips against him.

"Joel...." I murmured. "Kiss me?" He pulled my head close again. I could hear a soft growl as he tilted my chin back and licked firmly up my neck. He bit my earlobe gently and I felt his breath tickling my lips.

"Beg me." He said. I could feel my cheeks burning. Beg him? For a kiss?? No way! Yeah, but what was I gonna do; not play along? And miss out on the delightful waves of embarrassment that were sending tingles over my body and hardening my dick and making my fucking nipples throb? I fluttered my eyes open and met his eyes.

"Joel.... Please..." I moaned.

"Oh, fuck yeah." He picked me up with a grunt and swung us around before slamming me on the table. I winced as I briefly thought about the thousands of people who had yet to eat there and the cultural connotations of what Joel was about to do to me and my laptop, which was right in the line of fire if any limbs were about to flail the wrong way.... But everything went out of my head as Joel slipped one hand up my shirt and teased my nipple, the other managing to undo my flies and snake its way around my underwear. "Love how wet you get for me." Joel murmured. My cheeks were on fire with shame. He grinned and paused to rip my jeans off and press my legs apart. My back arched involuntarily and my legs bent, welcoming him in seemingly on their own accord. He grunted and knelt between my legs, taking my leaking cock in his mouth. I gasped in pleasure and let my hands tangle in his hair. He held my waist tight, almost thrusting my whole body into him, like he was devouring me. I'd never had head like that. I was totally at his mercy, his soft mouth taking total ownership of me. I could feel my toes curling in pleasure.

"Shit, Joel." I moaned. He squeezed my hips. "Joel...." I whimpered, wanting to thrust back, but with no ability to do anything other than lie there. "Ohhhh... oh wait... shit...." I tried to push him off me and he growled as our eyes met. "No, fuck me first, please..." I begged as we read each other's minds. He wanted me to cum. His mouth was still wrapped around me and my cock was throbbing. If he started up again I'd lose it. "Please, Joel..." I bit my lip. He smiled and slowly drew his mouth from me, licking the mess we'd made around my abdomen.

"One sec." He squeezed my ass as he stood up and disappeared. I took the half a second to quickly stow my laptop away before lying back on the table and running my fingers through my hair. Fuck, what was he doing to me? Getting roughly fucked at work... twice.... I mean... I would have never have....

Joel reappeared and sank into my embrace. He kissed me as he fingered my hole... with... I squinted at his makeshift lube. Right. Olive oil. Well....

"Hey- you ready?" Joel murmured, caressing my face.

"Yeah." I wrapped my arms around him.

"Mmm." He groaned as he rearranged us and impaled me.

"Fuck!" I whined. God, maybe I wasn't ready. I knew he was big! It was too late though- something animal had taken over Joel's body. He was holding me tight in his grip, moaning as he thrust into me. My body caught up quickly and I relaxed around him, letting him use me. "Fuck Joel...." I moaned over and over. He grunted and his body held me tighter. We were glowing with heat and sweat was dripping from every crevice. Joel reached for my dick and held it loosely as his moans started slowly deepening. I throbbed in his hand and felt myself melting with the heat and overstimulation... I gasped as I felt it coming all of a sudden. "Oh Joel." My eyes flew open and he was looking at me intensely. He pushed my hair off my face and grunted as my eyes rolled back in my head and my dick started spurting cum. His rhythm slowed and I could feel it- he was coming too. I let myself fall apart in his arms as he finished.

We lay against each other as we caught our breath.

"Hey, bud, pass me your apron." Joel's stubble tickled my face as he sat up slightly and gestured.