Kristi Satisfies a Fantasy - Sort Of

I debated whether or not to share this story, because it's so personal. And I hate feeling like I am peeling back a layer that involves more individuals than just me, but I know it wouldn't "hurt" anyone. At least I hope not. In any case--here goes, Literotica.

It's been quite a while since I contributed anything here. For those of you who have followed my stories and my journey post-divorce, I am happy to be connecting back with you now. I am still with Alyssa, and things are generally wonderful (when she isn't piling weird sailing equipment in my spare bedroom because her apartment is bursting at the seams). She's a rare, unique, adventurous partner so wonderful I still pinch myself, even as we glide into our second year together. I am in love. And I think she is too. Pinch, pinch.

After a decade of friendship, and through a soul sucking divorce from my husband of 18 years, my relationship with Alyssa blossomed and grew into something unexpectedly romantic, and astoundingly intimate. I'd invite you to read any of my stories about her (there are several here on the site), to appreciate the degree of adventure, love, and passion she has brought to my life.

About a year ago (ugh, can it be that long?) I wrote about a real conversation I had with Alyssa about some pretty personal and daring notions. Well-aware that this is my first same-sex relationship, Alyssa asked me if I ever missed being with a man. She asked me in sort of a "pillow talk" situation, managing to coerce what I felt was an honest answer, and one I prayed didn't offend her in any way. My answer was yes.

I was terrified to hear the word come out of my mouth knowing she would respond one way or another. Much to my relief, and very true to her nature, Alyssa rolled with my answer and amplified the intensity of the conversation by introducing a certain harnessed latex friend of hers to our shared bed. It was freeing and euphoric to share my answer with her, especially when she penetrated me to simulate the male touch I realized I still craved.

Relationships are tricky. I've mostly failed in mine. So exposing myself to so much second-guessing and Alyssa's potential judgment wasn't easy. It felt like a minefield, actually. When she followed up our conversation with the invitation of a possible threesome (with a man, obviously) I was floored. Aroused. Intrigued. Nervous. Oh, did I mention aroused? Was she serious? Was this something people actually did? I am in my mid-40s and have never even come close to an actual threesome. My ex probably would have catapulted me out of our bedroom window if I ever broached the subject. I'd never judge anyone who did, of course (Alyssa has experienced multiple partners several times), but it just seemed so--wildly "not me." I'm not a flashy, swinger-y person. I actually think I'm kind of boring. A middle-aged, divorced, public school teacher mom. Did people like me DO this kind of thing? Could I?

For weeks, I ran the invitation around in my head. Wow. I thought about it every free moment of the day. In bed with Alyssa. In the shower when I masturbated. Here on the site when friends who read the story reached out to me to chat about it, which I was more than excited to do. As I became more comfortable with the idea, and with Alyssa's approval and participation, it seemed almost inevitable. It was going to happen!

Or so I thought. Sigh.

I'm laughing at myself right now, because a threesome seems so easy when people talk about it, especially on an adult site like Literotica. Like--you just do it, right? You pick a third partner, do your hair, buy an outfit, pour some margaritas and you go for it. If you know anything about me, "going for it" doesn't often come naturally to me.

Don't get me wrong. I am very open to it, still. I still fantasize about it often. It's something I think would bring Alyssa and I even closer. On the other hand, I'd be so damn self conscious, I am not sure I would enjoy the anxiety that came with the fantasy. Would I enjoy it "too" much? Would Alyssa get jealous or feel regret afterwards? And then of course there is the notion that this man--yet unpicked--would be having sex with the love of my life right in front of me. How would I react? The fantasy is hotter than hell (I am wet right now just imagining that part), but the reality? To watch Alyssa climax with a man inside her? It's an intensity to be approached carefully. And so we did. And then months went by. And more months.

Not to bury the lead, but we still haven't made the threesome fantasy a reality. However, we did take a step in that direction. And it was a pretty big one. At least for me.

Part of what made materializing the fantasy an issue was choosing who might be our "man." Should it be someone close? A stranger? Someone Alyssa knew? Someone I knew? Someone we both knew? It was so difficult to know who might be right to fit the bill, so to speak. It's not like we were asking someone to watch her cat. This person would be...well. Thrusting inside of us, in front of one another. People really do this?

A name that kept popping up was our friend Nick, for a few reasons. First, we both knew Nick and he is a very nice guy, and quite attractive. Alyssa is also aware that Nick and I had a bit of a sexual history (ok, one time!) which made him a sort of frontrunner. But for some reason, I just could never make myself say yes to the scenario. Even now, sitting here, I can't completely explain why. Maybe it's because what I had with Nick itself was deeply personal, if just a fling. And certainly what I have with Alyssa is special and amazing. But it's a relationship built for two. It's dizzying. I don't know what makes me so apprehensive, I just am.

But then Alyssa hit me with a massive curveball as she tried to dissect my thought process. "You should just hook up with Nick again without me."

Whoa. And she was serious. And not in an exasperated "oh go do what you want" sort of way. She knew I was with Nick before. She liked him. Or at least "approved" of him. And she was willing to allow me to have that experience again. She knows me well, she knows I don't harbor some longing for Nick, or anything "real." It would just be another fling. An experience. If not an actual threesome, still something we could share together after the fact.

My heart pounded. "Alyssa, Jesus. Are you sure?"

"Uh huh," she grinned and added, "as long as you take pictures for me."

Oh, she knows me so well. She knows the kind of fire that lit inside me. She kissed me on my mouth and whispered, "do you want to fuck Nick and show me the photos, Kristi?"

Gulp. Uh huh, I did.

If you've read anything I've shared here about Alyssa, it's that she doesn't shy from these types of situations. Unlike me, she is very much a "go for it" kind of person. The day after she confirmed my interest, she texted Nick herself. A teasing, sexy, deliberately provocative text to get his attention. It worked. They texted back and forth for a few days--I think he was wondering if she was actual serious. And then one night on Alyssa's boat, we had a Facetime conversation, all three of us. Nick acted like he hit the lottery. He agreed to meet me at his place in a week to "see what happens."

He knew exactly what was going to happen. And so did Alyssa. And now, so did I. I was going to do this. My body and mind were aching for it.

When I got to Nick's place, he was adorable. It was clean, comfy, perfectly arranged. He walked me into his version of a "man cave," which I thought was so incredibly sweet because it was decorated like a Crate and Barrel showroom. Nice furniture, no clutter, spare decor. The only "man cavey" thing were the guitars he had mounted to the walls. His "thing." I couldn't stop smiling.

I wore white leggings, a creamy green wrap-style top over a white lacey halter bra, and when Nick walked me into that room, I knew they wouldn't be on much longer. I was vibrating with anticipation and desperately thankful when he stopped talking and kissed me. Deeply. His strong hands roaming my body. I was breathless.

He paused for a moment and I snapped back to reality. On the ledge over his loveseat and facing the sofa, Nick had a little mounting device for his phone, which was aimed down. My body trembled as I processed the depth of everything about to happen. Ah, yes. The photos. For Alyssa. My god.

"Are you sure you're ok with this, Kristi?"

I nodded.

"You can trust me. No one other than Alyssa is ever going to see these photos, we both have a lot to lose."

I nodded again. Panting a bit.

I don't remember taking my top off, it was a blur. But there we were, suddenly reclining on the sofa, me on top. Peeling off clothes beneath me, Nick whispered "I'm shooting video and we can just screen capture for Alyssa." I would have agreed to a Hollywood set with 20 crew members at that moment. I needed it to happen. I was so wet I was actually squirming. I looked at the camera nervously, then up into Nick's eyes. My fingers gripped his already rock hard and impressive cock--and milked it. The reality that Alyssa would be seeing all of this intensified everything in a way I was barely ready for. I was bursting, and I hadn't even taken my bra or leggings off yet.

Nick moaned. I wanted to please him. Being with a man after years of not--it felt so natural. Like slipping into a perfect pair of jeans you found at the bottom of a drawer you hadn't worn for years. Just--so perfect. I kissed his hairless chest. His hip. And with the eyes of the camera trained on us, I began to kiss and suck his cock. Deep, slow--very aware of the camera and Alyssa's eventual eyes, I put on a show. Taking as much of Nick's meat in my mouth until I struggled and gagged a bit. And then again, relaxing my throat muscles just enough to take all of his cock inside...I felt my eyes roll back a bit. I wondered how it would look on camera. I felt like a porn star. I wanted to be one. For Nick and for Alyssa. I wanted to know I was pleasing them both.

I stroked Nick's cock, whispering to him. Knowing he's always been quite a fan of my large breasts, I asked him, "do you want to slide between my breasts?" He made me almost laugh by answering, "is this a trick question?" I slid down a bit, his engorged cock still slick with my saliva, and I began to rub him on my exposed titflesh. We both sighed. The halter bra I wore was quite plunging, so I didn't actually have to take it off to smother his wet dick in my cleavage. It was exhilarating, raw and naughty.

I was so deeply concentrating on everything I was feeling, both mentally and physically, that I was surprised and intensely turned on by what happened next. Nick looked directly into the camera and moaned, "Alyssa, are you enjoying the show?"

Instantly I knew we'd be sharing the entire movie with Alyssa, not just photos. I almost climaxed from the thought. I gasped so loud you could easily hear it on the video afterwards. I felt an incendiary sensation penetrating my body. I still had some clothing on, but the brush of my supple flesh against his now naked body made me almost want to scream.

I am quite top heavy with 36E breasts, and on top they felt heavier and fuller as I leaned over Nick, moving my body so his glossy cock slipped in my cleavage over and over. I recall in the moment--I had done this a thousand times with my ex husband and boyfriends before him, well aware of the act and what it was called. But it occurred to me that I never once used the word "titfuck" in my life. Knowing the camera was catching everything on that sofa, audio included, I pushed myself past my comfort zone and heard myself moaning to Nick, "titfuck me, Nick. That's right, that's it...keep titfucking me."

I felt dangerous and sexy, and Nick was very obvious in his approval. I felt the pulse of his cock throb with every word I whispered to him. It was intoxicating being in control, and also knowing that every little movement, every tiny sound, would be making its way back to Alyssa. It's a scenario I could have never dreamed up--almost naughtier than an actual threesome in a way. I loved how it made me feel, and every sixty seconds or so I would lean back down to suck Nick's cock again with a hungry, wet need to make sure he was slippery enough to keep sliding easily between my now-also-glossy wet tits. For good measure, and for the camera, I tossed a sly glance to Alyssa and allowed a mouthful of gooey saliva drip from my lips onto my own cleavage. Nick indicated his approval by moaning, "oh my fucking god, Kristi."

It would have been one of the most exciting nights of my life if it ended right there, but of course it didn't. Not even close. I can't wait to tell all of you the rest of the story.

To be continued.