All Comments on 'Last Dance'

For chrissakes get yourself an editor! They're free and available on the site.

I couldn't get past the second paragraph before I saw what I would be subjected to if I continued on.

You're simply not ready for prime time on your own. However, that's not saying anything about your potential. You just have a lot to learn before you submit your writing - as a writer.

Try and name a professional writer ... or even an accomplished amateur that doesn't have an editor. We all do, and there's a damned good reason for that.

Think about yourself as, say, a player in a professional basketball game, bounding out on the court for the first time ... with no sense or knowledge of the basic rules of the game. What do you suppose the reaction and results would be?

Bonehead blunders are like a bucket of cold water to those of us reading your writing, and expecting to be carried along on your fantasies as though they were our own.

Please take this advice and get yourself some much-needed advice.

***You do need an editor my friend!!! Keep writing you will get better. Thanks for the read.

Nice story line, but the ending really needs work. The main character needs to be expanded as well. Keep at it.