Laura and Greg Ch. 02

"Laura are you OK?" he asked.

What does one say to a person who holds your job in his hand? I was polite knowing he probably knew.

"I won't pry," he said, "but I want you to know your job is safe. Nothing you did hurt the company and somehow you managed to do your job. Someone I trust came to me and told me about Steve causing you issues. I had a talk with him, and he knows that he needs to leave you alone."

"Thank you," I replied. "Can I ask who told you about..."

My boss raised his hand and shook his head.

"Just as what I know will stay in this room, so does the identity of the person I told you about stay confidential. Let's just say Steve made an enemy some time ago who repaid him by standing up for you. Let's leave it at that. As you know, our health plan has counseling options. And if Steve does not stay away from you, I expect you to come to my office right away and tell me. I can't help you if I don't know."

I thanked him counting my lucky stars that I had not been fired. I also wondered who had spoken up on my behalf. Who had turned on Steve? Or more like it, who had he screwed over and got even with him? At the moment, it didn't matter. I had been given a second chance again and started to think that maybe there was hope of fixing things. How many times can a person get signs to straighten up before they get the point and act on it? I was at that point.

Greg and I were polite to one another in front of the kids, but quiet when alone. I still didn't have the courage to say anything to him. How would I do it anyway?

'Sorry I was out fucking around?' 'Sorry I came home with Steve's cum and had you eat me out so you can taste another man's cum?' Sorry I fucked other men? Sorry I gave my ass to a stranger instead of you?' 'Sorry I was a whore slut? A spoiled rotten cunt?'

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Eventually Angela passed my office door. I was too ashamed to say anything as she stood there with her arms crossed looking at me.

"When you are ready to talk, let me know," she said and walked off without waiting for my response.

It took me another week of self-loathing and remorse to get the nerve to see Angela. I called her and she told me the two of us needed to take the afternoon off and go talk. When we were alone at an obscure coffee shop I let her know everything, minus the graphic details. But pretty much everything. She shook her head and made faces of disappointment and disgust a few times, but she listened to it all.

"So, are you ready to talk to your husband yet?" she asked when I finished.

"I want to. But I don't have it all clear in my head."

"Oh... you mean tell him everything?" she said mocking me. "To make yourself feel better?"

"You said to talk to him, I have to..."

"You need to shut up and listen. If you don't I am leaving, and you are on your own princess. I am actually not here for you. I am here for your little ones that you so conveniently put on a shelf as if they are appliances you and Greg will divide up at the divorce."

Her words cut me to the core, but they were dead on target.

"They are important to me and I don't want a divorce," I said desperately holding her hand. She looked down at it and I let go. "I need help Angela."

"Yes, you do," she said.

I don't know what made me do what I did next, but I thought I had to start there with Angela. I leaned forward with my head down toward her.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Go ahead and smack me," I said trying not to cry. "I deserve it."

I heard Angela laugh just then and I started to laugh myself when BAAM! She smacked me on top of my head harder than last time.

"AOWWW! That hurt." I said rubbing my head in surprise.

"You deserve more than that," Angela said sitting back.

"I know," I said siting back in resignation suppressing a sob. Not one of pain, but one of shame.

"Do you think your husband knows?" She asked mockingly.

"He probably thinks I did something all the time I was out running around, but he hasn't said anything."

"Well, I had heard "somethings" as far back as over a month ago." She said doing air quotes at the word something. "So, people in the company sure know."

I looked up at her in surprise and also horror. I had tried to be careful and not give myself away. But I knew people had to know the way they looked at me. I can just imagine what they said before when I dressed provocatively parading around the company that way.

"If I know, others know. Does your husband have any contacts in our company?"

"You mean friends?"

She rolled her eyes at me and shook her head in annoyance.

"Anyone that could call and let him know what you have been doing. Are you that dense?."

"No," I replied. "I can't think of anyone."

"Do you have any enemies in the company? Especially female ones?"

I hadn't actively made enemies, but who knew how women who hardly knew me would react. But I had never gotten close to any woman other than Angela at work, so unless they raided the HR office or my locked computer, they had no way to call my husband. There was no Facebook or other social media then.

"Steve in marketing is pissed that I cut him off. I don't think I have made female enemies."

"That you know of," Angela interjected. "What's Steve's problem?"

"He was my first and the longest running playmate. He didn't want us to stop meeting."

"Isn't he still married?" Angela asked then continued as if she already knew the answer. "He has as much to lose as you if his wife finds out. Just make sure he knows that. It should get him to leave you alone."

I nodded back at her, but she kept staring at me.

"Anyone else that can give you trouble?"

"No others that were as regular as Steve," I replied. "I cut them all off."

"Do they know where you live?"

"Only Steve does."

"Here's your biggest problem with all this Laura. In case you haven't figured it out. Not, your husband; in case you were going to say him finding out."

I looked at her with a questioning look. To me what Greg would think after finding out was my biggest problem.

"No," she continued. "The biggest problem is you."

"I know I fucked up Angela," I replied in frustration. "I can't take back what I did."

"No, you can't," she replied. "And it will hang out there over you forever."

"I know," I said with remorse and regret. "I can never look at Greg in the eye again. I barely can now."

"Do you still love him?" she asked. "Be honest."

"I know you probably think I don't with all I did, but yes. I do."

"Is it real or guilt?"

"It's real Angela. I never once thought of leaving him and breaking up our family. I just went out on him. I know it's not a show of love, I can't explain it, but even when I was mad at him thinking had cheated on me, I didn't want to leave him. When I was cheating on him, I didn't want to leave him for any other man. And I still want him now."

"So, you wanted to fuck around for a while and then what?"

"I don't know Angela. I hadn't thought it out long term. It got out of hand. I thought I would go have some fun and then dial it down a bit."

"But not stop?"

"I don't know Angela. Honestly, I was just enjoying the fun and the fucking. It's what I wanted all along I guess. It started with me mad at Greg, but it morphed into me having fun as men found me attractive and sexy enough to fuck."

Angela took a deep breath, exhaled and looked back at me.

"Here's your problem as I see it," Angela said leaning closer. "Had you come to me earlier, I had a solution for you. Joe, my husband told me we could try and help only on the condition that you asked for help and that you talked to your husband. Let's leave that out there for now. Here are your two options.

"You can do nothing and say nothing to Greg. Then you have to hope he never finds out and you live in fear until he is dead, or you are. A tough option, but you won't be the first or last to do this."

I lowered my head in shame and regret. Indeed, that would be hard, but it was better than spilling my guts and eating a divorce that would ruin our family. Everyone we knew would know I had been screwing around and eventually my kids would know as well.

"That should be your punishment, you know," she contemplated. "Living with the guilt and the fear until you two are old. Because if you love him, you won't tell him and stick a knife in him. Let's face it, by not going to him early, you fucked that option up. If you tell him now, he could divorce you or keep you around and resent you forever. Most likely he will cheat on you to get even; and then dump you. And you could lose the kids."

I listened to her quietly as tears ran down my face. The implications of everything I had done were bearing down on me like a brick wall. I hadn't just hurt Greg; I had placed my children's lives on the chopping block. I had seen other couples break up and fight over the kids. What Angela had said to me about her childhood after her parent's divorce weighed on me heavily.

"So, what do I do?" I asked in despair. "You said two options."

"You let Greg get even."

"What!" I asked. I was confused. "How?"

"You tell him that he can fuck around on you for months like you did."

I stared back at her in shock.

"You mean tell him what I did and then tell him to go fuck other women? Just like that?"

"Well the how we can discuss later. But basically yes. You get to sit at home watching the kids while he is out dating and fucking around. I mean you did it and had your fun. Don't deny it. I know you enjoyed it. And you would still be doing it now if you hadn't come to terms that you only looked for an excuse to fuck around. Greg wasn't cheating on you and you didn't bother making sure he was."

"Guilty," I replied, but the thought of Greg getting a pass to fuck others still hurt. And it hurt because that was exactly what I had done to him.

"There is hope for you," she said and then added. "Maybe."

"What if he says no?" I asked. "I could tell him, hurt him and he could turn around and ditch me just the same. I can't take that chance Angela."

"But you took the chance every day you fucked around on him. He could have followed you and found out."

Angela was right again. I had tossed all sense of thinking out the window. My pussy had been doing my thinking. So long as I had fun, everything else was secondary. I was now confused, and it showed as she smiled.

"Joe and I can help you. But if you do ask me for my help, you will do it on my terms and swear not to let anyone know how I helped you. Ever!"

I looked back at her not liking having to just agree without knowing what she would do.

"Angela. Option one is terrible, but at least I don't tell Greg what I did and hope for the best. I assume your option requires that I do tell him. And if I do, it all falls apart."

"Good, live in fear then. He could find out today, tomorrow, next week or in a year. Good luck with that. And when either one of you steps out again, and you will, your marriage will go in the shitter because you haven't dealt with your issues.

"By the way are you two making love again?"

"No," I replied. "We haven't touched each other for over a month. He is not even coming near me and I am afraid to try."

"Month?"

"After I started with Steve, I went home and fucked Greg. He was happy I was enthusiastic about it, but I was angry at him and wanted revenge. I still had Steve's cum in me and had Greg lick it out a few times."

I saw a look of horror in Angela's face.

"You did this to your husband? For revenge?"

I nodded in shame looking down again.

"How many times did you do this?"

"Four I think, but he stopped coming near me after that. It was then that I was staying out late and he realized I was probably cheating on him. I don't know for sure, but around the one month mark we stopped having sex all together and went back to nothing."

"And how will all this fix itself?" she asked.

Oh, those questions of hers. She reminded me of teachers placing me on the spot when I was a child. But I was no child anymore, nor had I been doing child-like things with other men.

"I don't know!" I said in frustration. "I'm afraid if I have sex with Greg, then do something I learned with others, he will be suspicious. Worse than that, if he asks me during sex to explain, I may crumble and tell him everything. What then?"

Angela shook her head still looking at me. She looked like she was debating something. Her mouth opened and closed twice as she almost spoke and thought better of it.

"Angela, stop torturing me. Either say what you want or..." I trailed off in despair.

"OK," she said still apprehensive. "I will tell you, but you cannot ever tell anyone what I told you at work. If you do, I swear Laure, I'll kick your ass from here to the next state."

"I promise," I said. "If there is one thing I can do is keep a secret."

Angela scoffed at that and took a sip from her coffee. It was probably cold because she made a face and set it aside.

"Joe and I had some similar problems a few years back. We got bored with our sex lives and we both started to look on the other side of the fence. We both missed knowing people found us attractive and to be honest, having sex with other people. Monogamy is not easy and not the natural state for people. We have been conditioned to it and do it out of habit; and quite badly at that. How did it work out for you?"

"I get it Angela. I fucked up. Please tell me what you two did."

"I almost cheated on Joe Laura. There was a neighbor I fell in lust over and almost fucked him. He felt me up and so did I. Then I had a moment of lucidity and actually thought of the consequences at the moment and told him to stop. He did and apologized confused at my starting things then pulling back."

"Wow!" I said shocked that Angela had also gone where I went. Had she cheated like I had as well? "But you didn't fuck him right?"

"Not that time," Angela replied with a suggestive smile.

"Wait! what?"

"Well, after I rebuffed him he apologized and said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you and Joe were in the lifestyle the way you initiated things.' I was confused."

"Lifestyle?" I asked.

"Swinging Laura. It's how swingers describe themselves. In the lifestyle."

"Ow." I replied before the light bulb went off in my head realizing why she was still looking at me waiting for me to get it. "Wait... you and Joe! Are you?"

"In the lifestyle?" she asked. I merely nodded in disbelief before she continued. "Well, we weren't then."

I covered my gaping mouth with my hand trying to wrap around my head her revelation. She just smiled and nodded.

"Now you get it," she told me. "Why I had to talk to Joe about it first?"

I nodded quietly thinking about what she was suggesting wondering where Greg and I would be had I not gone down the road of cheating. Had I just talked to him, had I trusted my husband and listened to my friend who tried to warn me. But no, I had to do it my way. I had to have it all. Do as I pleased. She was right. Where had that gotten me? In a shithole of my own making; that's where.

In her case, Angela and Joe had talked to one another and found a different option. One I had never even considered. I was still confused about it all.

"I can tell you details later but let's just say Roger explained to me what that meant and that he and Joanna were swingers. I had a million questions, but he just waved me off. Because as we spoke, his wife was making the moves on my hubby. I froze as Roger smiled then laughed. My first instinct was to run over and stop it. But he just looked at me and said he understood. He would take care of it.

"Leaving me out in the yard, he went back in their house and saw his wife and Joe just talking on the couch. Joanna shook her head at him to let him know nothing happened and Roger laughed shaking his head smiling. He came out and got me and we went inside. It was an awkward moment for both Joe and I as we both wondered if the other had cheated or not.

"Roger and Joanna let us have that moment of terror before they both died laughing and told us that neither of us had done anything to betray our vows. We both breathed a sigh of relief and hugged. It was then that Joanna and Roger had the talk with us that I had planned to have with you and Greg had you come to me and the four of us got together."

"Oh, my Gawd, Angela." I replied in shock. "You're really wingers?"

"We are now. And it saved our marriage. It took us a while before we joined up and swapped with Joanna and Roger. Then there were others; still are. But the point of it all Laura is that we did this together. We didn't lie to one another. Go behind each other's back or betray each other."

"And you have sex with other men? Joe is ok with it?"

"Joe is fucking other women as well Laura. He fucks the wives of the husbands who fuck me. And when we go to a party, well I lose track of who he does because we don't hang around together. I mean we touch base from time to time. But you don't go to swinger parties to fuck your own husband. You do that at home, before the party and when you get home after."

"Do you do this a lot?"

"Depends on our mood. We occasionally take breaks from it. And there was a time last year that we did it a lot." She smiled and looked away smiling as if she was thinking back on it. "But now we go once a month for some fun. Sometimes its sooner. Some as early as two weeks. But we go together and come home together."

I listened to her in shock, but also in realization that I could have gotten laid without cheating on my husband and lying to him. I could have... no I SHOULD HAVE talked to Greg about our problems and then talked to Angela. Even if we hadn't become swingers like Joe and her, Greg and I would be talking to one another honestly instead of what I did. Now how do I go to him and say anything without risking losing him and our family?

"I think its late for us to have what you and Joe have Angela. I betrayed my husband. You apparently didn't."

Angela looked at me for a long minute that dragged out as she was contemplating me again.

"I trusted you to tell you what and who I am. My family's secret that no one knows in my regular life. Now how much do you trust me?"

"I trust you," I replied hoping she had an option to save my marriage I had not thought of. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and think. Try following what I will say."

I nodded as she gathered her thoughts and spoke to me again.

"What made you cheat, is still there and you will cheat again. I guarantee that."'

But I shook my head in denial.

"Oh, yes you will," she said. "Not now, or next week, month of next year. But cheat you will. You have tasted cock other than Greg's and there is no going back. You will try being faithful for some time, but you will be miserable from the lack of satisfaction, bad or no sex.

"Also, from remembering how much fun you had and how you lost out during the time you will not be fucking other men. I would put money on it. And if you don't you will be unhappy and so will Greg living with you. Your marriage will be a sham. You'll be lucky if you make it to when the kids are grown. My money is a few more years at best."

"Why are you so certain?"

"Because I saw my parents do what you and Greg are doing."

"What do you mean me and him are doing?" I shot back. "I'm the one that cheated, he didn't."

"Are you sure about that?" she replied smugly. "You haven't been fucking him lately. Ever think he did find someone to fuck instead of waiting on you to get around to him?"

The thought of it scared me. Having come to terms with my own stupidity and infidelity, the only thing keeping me from going out of my mind was that Greg had been a better husband than I was wife. That he had been father and rock to our children while I had not.