Laura's Gunge Time Debut

It always stressed Laura out when she would hit the town with her friends. She could cope with going for a few drinks somewhere but it was when they started jumping between clubs every hour she felt the pain. So many cover charges only to turn around and leave straight after. Bad enough while she was merely underpaid compared to her friends...but now she was unemployed and too ashamed to admit it. That's why she groaned under her breath hearing Fliss yell over the music.

"ITS DEAD HERE, LET'S GO TO FUNKS!"

"FUNKS? WHY WOULD WE EVER GO THERE?" shouted half the group almost in unison.

"NEW MANAGEMENT, MY EXES FRIENDS COUSIN WORKS THERE. THEY HAVE SOME NEW EVENTS...AND 2-1 SAMBUCA!"

Laura meekly followed everyone out the club they'd just paid to get into to walk across town to get to Funky Nights. Famous for sticky floors, a bathroom attendant who won the lottery, and playing Mr. Brightside at least once every half hour. And she didn't even like sambuca.

Mercifully there was no line in the freezing cold to get in, not that there ever was, and there were plenty of coupons to promote their new Thursday night event. Laura didn't have time to really see much other than a bright green gooey shaped font on the coupons and posters until they were inside.

It was set up almost like a strip club, with a stage going into the room. The music was muted but there was a decent crowd watching as a woman in jean shorts and a white T-shirt walked down the stage to a strange looking booth set up on the stage. Like a shower cubicle of 4-sided glass with a stool in the middle, and a door in the front. She perched on the stool and screens around the room came on to show various angles of her sat inside.

The music was then turned up with a countdown from 10 played over it. When it got to zero a thick green liquid fell from the top of the booth, dramatically covering the girl. Once it stopped she stepped out, gave a wave and blew a kiss and walked back off stage, stopping for a few people to pass her notes.

"Give it STACY for her first GUNGING of the night!" an announcer boomed to some mild applause and cheers "She'll be back later after a shower for more GUNGE!"

"Fliss, what the fuck is this?" a friend questioned.

"errm... I thought they had like hot sexy Yoga...I was told they had Yoga Wednesdays..."

"Fliss its fucking Thursday!"

Everyone went to get their Sambuca shots before trying to work out where to head to next while Laura just stood awkwardly near the stage to see a guy dressed in a black T-shirt squeegee the inside of the booth down and wipe up the girls footprints. His shirt on the back said Gunge Time.

Just as she was racking her brain trying to work out what that meant the music fell again and the announcer came back.

"Our next gunging will be in 10 minutes, just enough time to explain again that Funky Nights Thursday's now hosts Gunge Time. Drink, Party and watch people get covered in SLIMEY ICKY GUNGE. And if any of you ladies out there want to take part, we'll pay you $150 dollars cash per GUNGING!"

Laura was just thinking to herself that it didn't seem that Icky when her friends returned and announced they were heading to Milkshakes. She made excuses about her non-existent job and headed for the bus home. $150... Well actually that Stacy must have made $300...Plus tips. That's probably more than a bad week working 60 hours waiting tables. On top of unemployment...

The thought exited her head as soon as she got home until the following Tuesday. She thought a walk by the river would help clear her mind from job hunting... except her car wouldn't start. A AAA call left her with a $250 bill for a new battery and the prospect of having to find an excuse to get out of the girl's brunch on Saturday she could no longer afford.

Well, that was until she saw the used Gunge Time coupon in her purse after paying the mechanic. But that wasn't really an option...It wasn't the sort of thing she did. Three hundred bucks though would cover the car battery and the brunch. She found herself dialing the number on the back of the card and before she could decide it was a bad idea a young lady answered. She was Alice, the talent booker and apparently new MC after the previous guy was sacked for a cringeworthy performance. Laura mumbled that she was thinking about being interested in maybe taking part. Alice excitedly told her to turn up at the back door to the club at 7pm, with ID and a towel and it would be so much fun.

Alice arrived a little early and immediately felt like she was in the wrong place as there was no one else waiting by the bins of this club. At 7.02 Stacy turned up with a group of other girls and walked straight in. Laura followed and was immediately recognized as the new girl by Alice who pulled her into an cramped office to get her ID photocopied and to explain the night.

Apparently, the week before had been the first night so they were still playing with the format a little bit. Alice would be MCing on stage and the girls would get handed cash by her once they'd been gunged. Laura was assured all the gunge was non-toxic, vegan, safe etc and then told she would be up third at around 9pm.

Then she was left in the green room, which was a glorified locker room. Waiting for her was a uniform like Stacy's, a warm beer, and the other girls. Quickly she was told she was the first girl to actually volunteer, with all the others being strippers, models and escorts invited to take part...all of whom inexplicably had some experience with gunge before. She was nervous and only half focused but had it explained that gunge was a semi-popular internet niche based out of humiliation kinks and 90s nostalgia. Brandii had lost a pole dancing competition and been gunged, while Alexis had a client who would pay her to pour mess over herself in her bathtub on film.

At 8.05 Stacy came back coated in pink slime which made her shirt go see through. She flashed $50 in tips "I told you ladies...barefeet and braless is the way to go!"

By now adrenaline and anxiety were filling Laura up. These girls weren't like her...they were whores getting paid to be objectified... she thought there was nothing wrong with being a whore and had signed a petition once to decriminalize sex work...but Laura wasn't like that. Yet, she was about to do the exact same thing as them. Faint party noises were coming through the walls when an older woman who introduced herself as "Pat!" She said while patting Laura on the back "Well actually I'm Sadie," she mimicked a deep sexy voice. "You look pale honey, are you okay?"

"It's my first time so...I'm just. I'm just nervous."

"Aww a first timer, I'm sure they'll be good to ya. Its really not so bad!"

"EWW EWW EWWW EWW EWW!" squealed a yellow covered Brandii shoving her cash into a bag before heading to the showers.

Laura didn't object to Pat's insistence on "putting some color in that face," with a hasty application of provocative make up. The older woman then pulled Laura's sensible pony tail out and let her long brown hair fall around her shoulders on the insistence its what people wanted to see.

At five to 9 Alice came to get her. Pat wished her luck before pointing at her shoes and yelling "Shoes!" Laura returned a face of confused terror to which the she got the elaboration "They'll get ruined dear and I don't think you want to walk home barefoot."

Now barefoot behind the stage curtain Alice walked her through it. "I'm going to go out and get the crowd going again, then I'll introduce you. You walk down and sit in the gunge tank. I pull the chain, you get gunged, cash tips, done." Laura slightly nodded in agreement. "Don't try and dodge out the way, we'll get you anyway and just you know be yourself and enjoy."

Laura's thought that herself wouldn't be doing this and certainly would enjoy it. She thought about how far she could get barefoot in this outfit if she just ran for it.

"Are you having a good time tonight!?" The crowd cheered "oh come on, you've seen two great gungings and we've got more for you, so are you having a good time?" The cheered got louder. "That's better and lets keep it going for our next special guest. She was in the crowd last week and now she's on the stage. Gunge Virgin- Laura."

In autopilot she pushed through the curtain and thought about how she should have come up with a stage name. Then she noticed the crowd that was a lot larger than the week before and was already deciding that $150 would be enough for her and she would be gone as soon as she could because this was stupid.

She sat on the stool and Alice shoved the microphone into her face "How are you feeling Laura?"

"Nervous?" She softly said as the crowd slightly laughed. Then the door to the booth was shut. Laura steadied her breathing.

"Let's give our newbie a good count down!

3...

2...

1..."

Alice pulled the chain and there was a momentary pause before Laura felt a heavy cold liquid hit the top of her head and ooze onto her shoulders. The smell was intense and unpleasant. The slow ooze then sped up into a torrent as her vision disappeared under the dark colored and lumpy gunge. She screamed and some got into her mouth...it tasted like soup but then there was also a sweeter almost cheesy element.

Finally, the stream from overhead stopped and Laura wiped her eyes to see a grey and yellow congealed mess covering her that looked nothing like the gunge she'd seen used on the other models.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Our first Gunge Time Savory Gunge, and Laura's initiation. A truly revolting mix of mushroom soup and nacho cheese."

Initiation...Savory...Soup and Cheese? Laura's face was a picture of shock from the coldness of the gunge to the betrayal of it actually being a gross combination. She'd been tricked and felt humiliated. She was covered in a foul looking, foul smelling mixture. She slicked her hair out her face and shivered in disgust.

"Actually..." Alice mimed a realization "I may have forgotten to tell Laura about the whole savory initiation thing... And this is our first time trying it and maybe we went too far on the grossness for the poor girl." There was a slight aww and cheer from the crowd as Laura still sat shocked and dripping in the concoction. "Look at that face! I didn't know someone could look so cute wearing mushroom soup... Who thinks she looks great?" A cheer, "Who thinks we should double her fee for being such a good sport!" An even bigger cheer arose.

Laura's shock and disgust turned into a slight smile with the adoration of the crowd. She looked at herself and rubbed some into her arm. As it warmed up It actually felt quite nice on her skin. She caught herself tasting it and it actually tasted pretty good once she knew what it was.

The absurdity of it made her laugh a little, her soupy hair flopping forward as she laughed. 10 minutes ago she was petrified to go on stage and get gunged. Now not only had she done it, but she'd been publicly humiliated in front of a bigger crowd than expected. She was dripping in nacho cheese and soup something so disgusting that it had come around to be fun. She felt so humiliated it had come around to be liberating.

She stood up and gave a shimmy type little dance out with her hands in the air out of newfound joy and was let out of the gunge tank. Alice handed her 3-hundred-dollar bills and a pint glass to collect tips in. So as not to slip she crawled around the stage, until the glass was overflowing with notes. The crowd cheered once more as she exited and returned to the locker room. While grabbing her towel to shower she caught snippets of whispers from the other girls.

"Not in a million years."

"That's so disgusting."

"I hope they clean that thing out before I'm up."

"Why the fuck is that bitch smiling...fuck look at those tips! That's why..."

Laura just kept smiling through her shower and couldn't wait to get back out there. She even asked Alice if there was another slot available that night.

"Look...Great you want to go again and all but...We're only budgeted $300 per performer per night... Plus...it would be anti-climactic for the fans," she added uncertainly.

"Another time then," smiled Samantha before heading home.

Back in her bedroom she counted what she'd made that evening. There were now 4 $100 dollar bills, meaning someone had tipped her that alongside the multitude of ones, fives, and tens. All in all, she walked away with $623 what ultimately didn't feel like work. After the car, and brunch, she would even have some cash for herself.