by BrazenHorse
Great sex scenes but you need to roll in the relationship side of what's happening/happened. Can Nicole resist? (Doubtful...LOL) How does Julie really feel about Ryan? Where are you taking us? 5* so far, but need more depth...
I like the story but think I'd like more an emotional connection & that needs context. So maybe try three pages please?
The store while a definite five - is missing the need for the reader to really connect to the characters you present. Missing relationship, kinship.
I've just discovered this series and I'm in awe! This is amazing! You are a poet of lust!
Loving the series, BUT: When did he regain his virginity? he previously had a girlfriend that on multiple occasions took half his cock ?!?
Yeah, the author forgot he’d written earlier that Ryan was not a virgin. Clumsy mistake. Costs you a point as it’s a stupid continuity error, easily picked up.
4/5
Four**4**Stars for this one...Ryan IS NOT A VIRGIN!! At least not according to a previous chapter...
Still, an excellent tale...FINALLY got to Ryan getting laid...and Julie stepped up as the one to satisfy him, and herself...she took that massive dick sssooo well. I guess she is not on birth control...had to pull out...would have bloated her belly up so well, all of that cum inside her.
Nicole...is next?? Is she gonna succumb to the irresistible attraction of her brother's cock??!! I think she will...and so will the other girls..
Lucky Ryan...