Like that Episode of Seinfeld

Thank you to RawSilhouette and Ravenna933 for their editing and proofreading of this story.

Less than a week before departure, I had no idea that a 1,500 mile road trip and the sexual adventure of a lifetime was on the horizon. I never would have believed it if you'd told me, and I especially never would have believed it if you'd told me it would involve Geoff Broadmoor's younger sister.

Geoff and I had been best friends for, what, nearly fifteen years now? We'd met the first day of high school; two shy nerdy kids with a shared homeroom and adjacent lockers, and we quickly became inseparable. Our friendship had lasted through high school and college, through fights and making up, through discovering alcohol and girls, and through being separated these last few years as I entered the workforce back home and he entered graduate school at Yale. Now, finally, Geoff was done his Ph.D. in epidemiology. It was a few days before Christmas, and he'd come home from New Haven as Dr. Broadmoor, though I couldn't bear to call him that. To me he was still Geoff, pronounced with a hard G because I knew he didn't like it when I did.

"Ghee-off, you want another beer if I'm going up?"

"I don't know why I ever missed being around you, Alan." He flipped me the bird, handed me an empty bottle, and turned his attention back to the Leafs game, smirking. They were losing, because of course they were.

"I missed you too, buddy. And I'll take that as a yes."

I headed upstairs, past a beautifully-decorated Christmas tree with a massive pile of presents beneath it, and went to the fridge. Geoff's Mom Susan was just entering the house as I hit the kitchen. She visibly lit up when she saw me.

"Alan!" She set down her shopping bag and gave me a big hug. "It's great to see you again. How's your family?"

"They're good. My parents are doing well. Carolyn should be home tomorrow for Christmas, and we've got the big family get-together in Goderich on Christmas Day. Then I've got a week off - the plant's on shutdown until after New Year's. Since I'm management and salaried, it doesn't count as vacation and I still get paid."

"Oh, that's wonderful!"

"How about yourself? All good at the law firm?"

I could see the wheels turning in her head. "Oh, I'm fine. You've got no plans for the week ahead?"

"Not really..."

"Hmm." She paused. "I have no right to even ask, but do you think you would mind doing us a huge favour?"

"Anything for the Broadmoors. You've always treated me like your own son. What's up?"

"It's Katie."

"What about her?"

"She's in the second year of her Masters degree..."

"Masters?" I nearly spit out my beer. "Last I remember, she was about 15."

"We all grow older, Alan," Susan teased. "Katie's still five years younger than her brother and you, just like she was when you were in high school."

"She's 23? That seems impossible."

"And I can't believe you're 28, or that I'm 56, but here we are. Anyway, Katie's doing her Master of Science in petroleum geochemistry, and she's gotten a four-month paid internship at the Citgo refinery in Corpus Christi, Texas. Her father was going to help her move down to the apartment she's rented with another girl for the winter term. But he can't do it now, because Dr. Flanagan broke her leg skiing this morning. Even with the clinic closed, someone has to be on call in case there's a dental emergency, so he's stuck here for the week. And Geoffrey tells me that you like to drive."

"I do like to drive." I thought briefly of my 2400 rating on iRacing. I'd been planning to spend my week off running sim races online every waking moment.

"I don't have a problem as a parent with sending Katie down on a road trip to Texas with this other girl on her own. They'd look out for each other. But Katie, as you might have heard, is hopeless with directions. I love my children equally and dearly, but she'd be the first to admit that she could get lost trying to find her way out of an empty walk-in closet."

I laughed.

"And I've never met this other girl, but she apparently doesn't have a driver's license. As for me, I can't get the time off work at Christmas on such short notice, and Geoffrey needs to spend this time to get his thesis ready for publication on a deadline. You know he's only just moved home for a couple of months to get his writing done before he starts working."

Geoff had selected epidemiology as his field before the COVID pandemic had started, but in a post-pandemic world he had the labour market as his oyster. He already had multiple lucrative job offers on the table in both academia and industry, but he wanted to publish his thesis before starting his career. He estimated he had about six to eight weeks' worth of revisions in order to get his research out into the world, and hanging out with me tonight was one of the rare breaks he'd allowed himself.

"We're hopelessly stuck," Susan continued. "Can you help us out? We'd obviously pay all your expenses, we just really need someone capable of driving the two of them down to Corpus Christi in Katie's car safely, helping them get set up in their apartment, and then flying home."

"How long of a drive is it?"

"Twenty-four hours. We'd been planning to do it over the course of three days."

I contemplated the offer. I had nothing planned, and with the pandemic having closed the U.S. border for the better part of two years, I hadn't done any travelling since my ex-girlfriend Maddy and I had been to Portugal in February of 2020, just before everything shut down. I realized with a start that I hadn't even been out of Southwestern Ontario for over a year. For someone who loved travelling, this was unacceptable.

"Yeah, why not?" I decided on a whim. "Sounds like fun, Mrs Broadmoor."

"Fantastic! I'll let Katie know."

I headed back down to the basement. "So apparently I'm driving your sister and some other girl to Texas in a couple of days."

Geoff turned around as I handed him his beer. "That's nice of you. I know my parents were freaking out about how they were going to move her down there. Hope she doesn't get on your nerves too much."

"Should I be worried? Is she still the same brat she was in high school?"

"No. She's grown up a lot. We actually get along pretty well now, even though brothers and sisters can always find ways to torture each other. Her boyfriend Aaron is a good dude, too."

I took this in. "Well, it's either going to be great or super awkward, but it'll at least get me out of the house."

***

Boxing Day dawned bright and cold, but with only a minimal dusting of snow on the ground where I lived in Canada's deep south. Katie Broadmoor had arrived at my place right on time in her Toyota Corolla, and as she got out of the car I got my first look at her in what felt like forever. She was still recognizable as the same girl I'd known as a young teenager, but she definitely wasn't a kid anymore. She'd filled out, now occupying a woman's body. She had her long brown hair tied back in a simple ponytail, and she wore dark-rimmed glasses that slightly obscured her brown eyes. She was clearly wearing no makeup, and looked like she'd just rolled out of bed and straight into a pair of jeans and a winter coat. She looked quite a bit like her Mom must have looked at that age, and I could discern the family resemblance far more now than when she was younger.

"Alan, thanks for stepping up. I'm not sure what I would have done without you." She smiled as she regarded my small duffel bag. "Packing light, I see?"

"I'm not the one moving to another country. I just brought clothes for a couple of days, toiletries, and a book." I looked in the window of the car to see one of the two rear seats had a huge Rubbermaid container sitting on it. "Will there be room for my bag?"

"Oh, sure. I had to leave room for Sonia's stuff." She popped the trunk, revealing it was barely half full. With that, I tossed my bag in.

"So where is this Sonia?"

"She lives in Windsor. We're picking her up on the way."

I moved towards the passenger door, but Katie stopped me. "You're driving."

"Sure. Just let me know if you want to trade off."

"I won't. I hate driving. Geoff told me you like it for some reason?"

I nodded.

"You can drive us all the way to Texas for all I care. I'll take the car over the border so I can talk to customs and immigration, but otherwise, you're it. If you need a break, I can do some of the driving as long as you're willing to navigate for me, but if you don't, you're welcome to do the entire thing."

"Fantastic. It's not quite running laps around the Nordschleife in a GT3 car, but I'm good with doing it all on my own if you are."

"I don't know what either of those things are." She smiled.

We headed out on the highway. Katie's old car had no auxiliary input jack or USB, only a CD player and radio. I hadn't thought to bring CD's, so we drove the two or so hours down to Windsor in a fairly awkward silence. It was still early, but I was really hoping we'd eventually warm up to each other. Katie spent most of the drive staring out the window or at her cell phone and sipping on an enormous vat of coffee. I tried and mostly failed to make small talk, but the Katie I'd known had always been a shy, quiet girl, and clearly that hadn't changed much.

"So who's this girl we're picking up?" I asked at one point. "Your friend?"

"I wouldn't say that..."

"Oh?"

"Sonia and I are both in the same program, but we've never really hit it off. Some of the people in grad school are there because they're passionate about what they're studying, and some of the people are there because they're scared of going out in the real world and getting a job. Sonia is one of the latter group, in my opinion.

"Don't get me wrong, she's still really smart, we just don't have much in common other than being into soft rock geology and oil deposits. We're not even in the same lab; her advisor and mine are kind of rivals, and that translates a little to the groups of students under them. I'm more on the lab work side, and she's the kind of person who wants to do field work 24/7."

"So why are you living with her?"

"Necessity. We both got internship jobs in Corpus Christi; me with Citgo and her with Valero. Neither of us can really afford to live on our own, we both don't know anyone else in the entire state of Texas, and we're going to be in a two-bedroom apartment so at least we'll have our own spaces. We should both save some money by splitting on living expenses."

"Makes sense."

I waited to see if there was more, and apparently there wasn't. I kept an eye on the road as we once again descended into silence.

A couple of hours later we rolled into Windsor, the Canadian city sharing a border with Detroit. Katie could at least follow instructions from Google on how to find Sonia's house, and with her help we were soon rolling up to a suburban bungalow not far from the Ambassador Bridge. Katie texted, and shortly the garage door opened, revealing a small stack of luggage and boxes and a young woman.

My first impression of Sonia was that she was a pretty girl, with black curly hair cascading down her back, dark eyes, and a voluptuous, feminine figure, not overweight but not thin either. Her skin tone was several shades darker than mine or Katie's 'pasty mid-winter white-bread Canadian' looks, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out her ethnic makeup. After exchanging brief introductions, I helped load her gear into the car, and then Katie took the wheel, heading the short distance to the US-Canada border. We didn't have much time to get to know each other before we were on the bridge over the Detroit River.

The girls got called into secondary inspection to ensure their employment paperwork was in order, and we were stuck for at least forty minutes while they were examined by a CBP officer. I'd been passed easily once the officer saw my plane ticket home for several days' hence, so I sat patiently in the waiting room until the girls finally emerged with work visas affixed to their Canadian passports. I then drove onto I-75 south and merged into Detroit traffic, heading for Toledo.

An hour later we stopped at a Culver's for lunch. I'd tried to engage the girls in conversation, but I was still not having much luck. Sonia and Katie seemed uneasy around each other, and I wondered how they would ever get on as roommates. The awkward tension between them clearly predated today, and as I gratefully munched on a Butterburger for the first time since before the pandemic, I said a silent prayer that things would get better soon.

From Toledo, the route I'd planned took us south on I-75 to Cincinnati, then southwest to Louisville, then south to Nashville. I'd been hoping to get as far as Nashville on day one, maybe even with time to go out to a Honky-Tonk bar on Broadway that night, but my hopes were dashed just past Bowling Green, when a long line of tail lights appeared in front of the car. I slowed and eventually stopped in heavy traffic.

"What's going on?" Katie asked.

"No idea." The line of red brake lights stretched as far as I could see, and on the horizon I could now see thick black smoke rising into the sky. A few minutes passed, and soon I saw people getting out of their cars in front of us. None of us had roaming data available on our phones in the U.S. - the girls were going to buy American SIM cards once we got to Texas - so I turned on the radio, scanning through AM stations until I found a local one.

"...and avoid both directions of I-75 near Van Buren! A fuel truck has collided with an overpass, with no word on fatalities as of yet. Emergency crews are on site, but cars are backing up for miles down the road! We'll have more, after these messages."

I switched the radio off, then the car. "Dammit."

We sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the billowing smoke on the horizon. It was noticeably warmer here than at home, though still winter. There was no snow on the ground, the sun was out, and as I rolled down my window the air felt cold, but not in an unpleasant way.

After about fifteen minutes of silence, Katie finally spoke up. "How long do you think this is going to take?"

"It could be hours, if there's a fatality."

"I feel bad for whoever's involved up there... but I really need to pee. I've had way too much coffee today. Do you see anywhere around I could go?"

I looked around. The land around us was flat farm fields, with visibility for miles in all directions. We were hemmed on the Interstate by traffic ahead, beside and behind us, and with multiple people out of their cars and stretching their legs on the highway, it appeared there was no privacy available.

"Just squat beside the car. You're supposed to be a geologist," Sonia piped up from the backseat.

Katie made a face. "No."

"You prissy girls in the Sanchez lab are all the same, aren't you?" Sonia asked contemptuously. "Afraid to get your hair mussed or your hands dirty? Try living in a tent for a month doing fieldwork. You'd never last doing real geology."

"Oh, you think exploring is all there is to it, huh?" Katie was suddenly animated, turning around to face the girl sitting behind her. "Where would you be without lab work? You cavemen in the McLaughlin lab think you're so special because you go out in helicopters and run core drills. You'd have no idea what samples you've even found without a geochemist running tests. Anyone can find a rock, it takes a specialist to be able to tell you what it means."

Sonia sighed dismissively. "Suit yourself, white coat. Maybe we'll get moving in enough time that you won't piss yourself."

How are these girls ever going to live together for four months? I thought, wondering just what the hell I'd gotten myself into.

Ten more minutes of silence later, Katie spoke up again. "It's... it's an emergency. I'll have to make do on the roadside, but can you at least try and help me with some privacy?"

Sonia silently sprung into action, going to the trunk and digging out a big towel from her bag. She and I then held it up at the rear door of the car to create a privacy screen while Katie sat on the door frame and did her business onto the road. Once she was done she stood up again, glowing red with embarrassment as she zipped her jeans up.

"I'm proud of you! We'll make a geologist out of you yet," Sonia glowed, hugging her. Katie wriggled out of it.

"Don't touch me. I feel disgusting. It's bad enough there's no toilet paper and I can't wash my hands."

A few hours of testy silence later, the smoke started to clear on the horizon, and eventually the road ahead of us finally started to move. Any hopes I'd had of making a decent start to the trip were dashed, and I drove two quiet, sullen girls across Ohio, through Cincinnati where we stopped for dinner, and eventually to just outside Louisville. We got a cheap motel for the night, an ancient, drive-up building from the 1950's that had seen better days but was at least clean. Katie and I checked in for the night and lugged in anything visible from the car to try to stave off break-ins, while Sonia made a run to a local convenience store to buy some much-needed beer. After the day we'd had, I sure could use a drink.

A few minutes later, I was just bringing the last box into the safety of the room, when Sonia appeared empty-handed.

"This here's a dryyyyyyyy county," she drawled, imitating the local accent.

"No beer?"

She shook her head.

"It's a perfect end to the perfect day," Katie sighed. "We've got two Queen beds; I guess the two girls are sharing?"

It was still early, but after a long and frustrating day we went to bed. Tomorrow had to be better.

***

I awoke early after turning in early. The morning sun was streaming in the inadequate curtains of the motel room, and I could hear stereo deep breathing from the other bed. It had been a miserable day yesterday. Google Maps still indicated we had 1,200 miles to go; about 18 hours. It would take two days of solid driving to make it by the end of the day on December 28^th, and with my flight home booked for December 30^th in the early morning, I needed to have the girls moved in and set up by then.

As I lay in bed, even though I hadn't been thinking about sex, I quickly became hard. Morning wood was a regular companion for me, particularly since Maddy had broken up with me four months previously. I hadn't had sex since then - the breakup was out of nowhere, and it was only in the last few weeks I'd started feeling even remotely back to myself again after getting over the heartbreak. My libido was finally back to normal after a couple of low months, and I touched my cock a little, half-awake, before remembering I had two young women who didn't know me very well sleeping in the other bed. The last thing I wanted was to be seen as creepy or inappropriate. My erection eventually died down as I lay there.

Soon I heard the regular breathing from the other bed change in tone and rhythm, and then I saw the faint glow of a cell phone being checked. Sonia was up. I caught her eye and she smiled at me, rolling out of her bed and heading to the bathroom. She was wearing a ratty old Detroit Lions t-shirt and pyjama bottoms that revealed nothing of her figure.

"It's cold in this room," she whispered as she came back into the room, surprised. She glanced at the sleeping Katie, now curled up with a healthy share of Sonia's blankets.

I rolled back the covers of my Queen bed. "You're welcome to join me."

She shrugged, then climbed into my bed, pulling the covers up to her neck and rolling to face me, but still keeping as much of a distance as possible.

"Alan, I wanted you to know that I feel terrible about yesterday."