All Comments on 'Linda and Bev Full story'

Um, what an unexpected turn of events.

Ummm so many questions…

NO! Take this elsewhere, anywhere will do.

Hi, I can see you put a lot of effort into this story, and commend you using your imagination. It takes courage to write and publish, so well done.

Can I ask whether you read or stories after writing them? They don't flow too well. And whilst it sounds like the MC is talking the story, IMO, it can work, it feels uncomfortable to read. I think a little more time needs to be sent polishing the finished product.

Don't let this put you off, you have a good imagination and stories to tell.

I wonder if it might be worth looking at the 750 word challenge to test yourself on being concise, giving you the opportunity to re read the stories and check their flow. You can play around with styles and words and see what feedback you use to develop future stories.

Thank you for sharing, and look forward to reading more.

X

A good story spoilt by the rape.

Good story.Last part...umm not so much.This is meant to be a lesbisn sex story duh!!.No men.Quite a few errors in grammar but not a bad thing as the story was good.

Sounds like she was cheater and a terrible mom.

I respect attempts at new way of writing stories.

Additionally, not every experiment works.

This is like reading two different stories merged into one and with several plot holes.

Not the best story.

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