All Comments on 'Lisa Ch. 01: A Sub is Born'

Good start, I enjoy a good sub/Master tale. This one has definite possibilities.

Stupid

The plot isn’t bad and the writing is okay, but just stopping at some arbitrary point to create a multi-chapter series is not. Each chapter should stand as a kind of individual story weaved into the larger one. This felt like you decided to publish just what you had completed to this point, which at 3,500 words wasn’t much.

Details matter if you want to write a really good story. Starting off the first two paragraphs in the third person and then shifting to the first person for the rest of the “chapter” was distracting. I liked the basic premise, but didn’t understand why you stopped it where you did. I think whatever you have planned for chapter two should have been combined with this to create a more complete one.

Great beginning to a possible multi chapter story.

Dominating lowlife black and forced to submit white ladies makes me excited.

are there videos showing this kinds of scene? movies or actual?

The manager must have been through this before since he allowed her to humiliate herself. Nice that this is a fantasy story as both of them would have been arrested and thrown in jail. Would have liked to hear of the many comments that people would have made while she had her tits out in plain view. She is going to be in for a long (no pun intended) period of humiliation even after her husband gets back. Hope she is on birth control and none of the guys she fucks is diseased. Hope that she is does not turn into a sex-crazed bimbo and only has sex with black guys. One can hope as there are very few stories that start out like that that ends with her getting her life back.

Looks to me like Lisa is in for a fun time with her new 'friend' and he loves to show her off. Being shown off is hot and I love it.