Little Packages Ch. 10

As we drove through town I kept expecting people to come running out and throwing rocks at the car. Such a drama queen, I thought. Most people were working or on vacation.

We were driving down towards the town council office where mom worked when we went past the paper clip.

"What the actual fuck?" Daddy started. I just groaned.

"It's the World's Largest Paperclip," I said. "Seriously. It was a whole thing when I was a kid. Some blogger had a paper clip and was trying to trade up to see what he would get for it. As a publicity stunt, he eventually got a house here in town."

Daddy looked over at me and grinned. "Seriously?"

"How on earth could I make up something like that? It was a whole thing for a few months. Hell, they still do a paperclip celebration once a year. Tragically, we've missed," I said with a tone of voice indicating that it was far from a tragedy that we missed it.

"Damn," he said, only half-joking. Giant Paperclip Days would be something he would love, I could just tell. We pulled up in front of the town hall, next to the paperclip, and I could feel my stomach clench. Daddy tried to distract me.

"Does he still live in that house?" he asked.

"God no. Moved out to Whistler last I heard," I said. Deep breathes.

Daddy opened the car door, walked around, and opened the door on my side. Yes, it could be chivalry, but it prevented me from hopping behind the wheel and driving off. I slid out of the car, the air conditioning vanishing and the hot, still summer air slammed into me. I took his hand and held onto it like I was drowning.

"Off to face the Jabberwocky, snicker-snack," he said quietly to himself. I couldn't help but giggle a bit.

"You only think you're funny," I said.

"You do as well. It's a limited audience that appreciates my genius, but I'll take it."

We walked into the building and there she was, my mom.

She'd aged a bit since I last saw her. There was more grey in her brown hair and she was wearing glasses, which was new. Her dress looked straight as if it came from the second-hand clothing stored we past coming here. I got my hair from dad, my height and my eyes from mom. From all the fights we had over the years, pretty much every aggravating personality trait I had - my stubbornness, creativity, addiction issues, and temper - came from my father. Or so she said. I can't be sure, but I think she had some part to play regarding my temper.

"Ashley," she said, as if I was a ghost who had just unexpectedly materialized in front of her.

Daddy squeezed my hand and reminded me to breathe. "Hey, mom. We're here," I said.

She pushed her glasses up her nose and I could tell if I had stayed here that was going to be a new tell on when she was annoyed with me.

"Yes, and late as well. We were expecting you last night," she said.

Wait, what? 'We?' What we? But before I could say anything Daddy jumped in.

"Well, I'm afraid I have to accept the blame, Ms. Clarke. After the flight got in late last night, I asked if it was ok to stay at a hotel. Given what's happened to me in the past, I'm not 100% comfortable driving at night," he said. Then he let go of my hand and walked slower than usual towards my mom, leaning hard on the cane. He stuck out his left hand, which was weird. "I'm Ben. It's nice to meet you."

Mom looked like she had the wind knocked out of her sails and reflexively stuck out her hand for him to shake. I was momentarily in awe. He completely took her off her game. He was playing the sympathy card, which he never does. I mentally kicked myself. Just because he dragged me here didn't mean he wasn't going to take care of me. Of course, he would.

Then something weird happened between the two of them. I couldn't exactly see what passed between them, but a sudden look of surprise crossed mom's face. She quickly jerked back her hand. She then composed herself.

"You've managed to be both late and early. I have work to do until noon. I'll meet you at the Cottage at 12:15," she said and then vanished into an office, leaving me with a dazed look on my face.

Daddy walked back towards me with a grin on his face, took my hand and walked me outside.

"The Cottage?" he asked.

"Paperclip Cottage," I replied automatically. "It's a local place to eat."

"Of course," he said, shaking his head. "Shall we walk? Stretch our legs a bit."

We started moving, although I noticed Daddy's limp magically went back to normal, so it took me a few minutes before my brain kicked back in.

"What happened back there? I mean, I appreciate you coming to the rescue, but the weird handshake and it looked like she had a stroke when you shook her hand," I said.

"You didn't notice," he said. I pulled his arm so that we were heading in the right direction. "You mom said 'we' were expecting you last night."

"Yeah, that was weird."

"I tested out a theory and shook her left hand. Most people don't expect that. That's when I felt the diamond press into my hand."

"Diamond?" I said, still not putting it together. Daddy stopped and looked at me.

"Kitten, she was wearing a ring much like the one you have on your left hand right now. She's engaged."

***

We were sitting in the snug confines of the Cottage and I was still processing what he had said. Mom was engaged?

"Are you sure, Ben?" I asked. We were in public and I'd noticed a few glances my way while we were sitting. So we were back to being Ben and Ashley.

"As I said the last half dozen times, I didn't see the ring, but I felt it and judging by her reaction, I'll be astonished if she wasn't."

I didn't understand my mother, and that understanding got less and less the older I got. Why wouldn't she tell me she was engaged? It's not like I was going to be scandalized or outraged by this. Dad was gone for almost 15 years. Of course she was allowed to start seeing someone else. I wish she'd started seeing someone years ago. Maybe if she got laid occasionally she'd have been less of a bitch during my teen years.

I was still processing all of this when I saw a pair of legs come up to the table and then a voice say, "I guess it's true what they say on the classic rock station, 'the bitch is back'."

I looked up and saw a grin framed with dirty blonde hair looking down at me. I wasn't sure what my reception would be like coming back to town, especially with the friends I kinda burned going out the door. But it was good to see at least one friendly face.

"Well, given your reputation, you are an expert on bitches, Kris," I said.

She laughed and bent down to hug me. I heard a loud "ahem" from behind the counter, so hugging customers was frowned upon. Kris stood up straight and shrugged her shoulders. Kris always had curves that I envied. I got in trouble because I looked cute and innocent and wasn't. Kris's tits and ass came in early and she was a trouble magnet. Together we caused a lot of trouble.

"So how's it going, scandal girl?" she said, and then she glanced over at Daddy. "And you must be the scandal."

"I guess I must be," he said, standing up and offering his hand. "I'm Ben, her fiancé."

Kris took his hand and shook it. She stared at him for a moment, appraising him and then nodded.

"Yeah, ok. I like him," she said.

Daddy sat back down and laughed. "Just like that? I thought it might be harder."

"Oh, I've been around most of the other boys she chased after, and every single one of them gave off a vibe that made me want to take a shower. You make me want to curl up in your lap."

"Kris..." I said, with a surprising amount of jealousy and warning in my voice. We may have stolen each other's boyfriends a few times in school.

"Oh relax, I'm kidding. Besides, the gossip wasn't 100% accurate because you're not giving off a creepy vibe at all," she said.

So everyone in town knew we were together, if not engaged. And I absolutely could not see my mom running around town talking about that. But maybe Kris knew.

She must have seen I was getting ready to ask the question, so she provided the answer.

"You remember Heather at the school? Biggest gossip whore in town? She was visiting her sister in...." she said, doing a little drumroll on the table with her fingers.

"Kingston," I sighed. Kris nodded.

"She was so scandalized she simply had to spend 20 minutes following you and taking photos. Which she then shared on the local Facebook. Take a guess how your mom reacted?" she said.

I could feel the rage building. If Heather walked through the door right now Daddy would need bail money.

"I'm guessing this would have been back around April or May?" I said. Kris nodded. "Right around when mom suddenly became interested in talking to me again. For fuck's sake. And she's engaged?"

"Yeah to the new fire chief. Nice guy. No idea what he's doing with her," she said, then glanced over at the kitchen. "Look, for the sake of appearances, I should take your order before she fires my ass and I kinda need the job."

"Tuition money?" Daddy asked. Kris shook her head.

"Nah, that didn't work out so well. Too much partying, not enough studying. I'm doing this while I figure out the next step," she said.

We ordered a couple of sandwiches and some coffee. Mom would probably be pissed not waiting for her, but I skipped breakfast and was hungry. I didn't want to be hangry dealing with my mom. She jotted down the order and went to the kitchen.

"Wow, that was a lot to process," Daddy said. "But she seems nice."

I was still lost in thought and only caught the tail end of what he was saying.

"Yeah, she is. I was worried she'd be pissed with me, like everyone else. But we always had thick skins for each other's bullshit. I'm glad she's not mad at me, but her being back in this town is not surprising. She's my worst fear. I was terrified I would leave town, fail, come back, and end up waiting table or working at the thrift shop. Never leaving, living with my mom, and always wondering where it went wrong."

"That's not a lock for her yet," he said.

"I saw it a couple of dozen times growing up. You leave town, try, and maybe you get the escape velocity to keep going. But a lot of times you don't and end up back here," I said, sighing. "I need to keep in touch with her from now on. Maybe I can help."

That's when mom walked in. With her was a man who looked to be around her age, bald but in half-decent shape. He was wearing a jacket with the fire department logo on the front, so I guess this was the new fiancé. My world had taken a turn for the surreal. Daddy stood up as they approached the table. Mom's fiancé stuck out his hand.

"So you must be the famous Ben, Ashley's man. Nice to meet you. I'm Frank, Peggy's fiancé," he said. They shook hands and Daddy gave him one of his friendly smiles. Frank looked towards me. I tried not to sigh and huff and reminded myself that I was 21, which meant I had to try and pretend I was a grown-up.

"Nice to meet you," I said, and we all stood up there awkwardly for a moment. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Kris taking in the scene. I'm surprised she wasn't eating popcorn.

Daddy finally waved to the chairs and we all sat down.

"I hope you don't mind, but we already ordered. We skipped breakfast this morning..."

"Say no more," Frank said. "I skip a meal and I'm not fit to talk to. Besides, they know what we like here. I imagine they've already started."

From there an awkward silence settled in. The men didn't know what to do, and mom and I just stared at each other. Finally, I broke the silence.

"So, when did you get engaged?" I asked, not sure who was going to respond.

"Back at Christmas," mom said. "We had only been seeing each other for six months. I thought it was a bit soon..."

"But I can be pretty persuasive," Frank responded, laughing. "Besides, I knew she was the one."

Kris took that moment to bring out our sandwiches, put them in front of us, and gave me a look that only I could see. It was her trying not to crack up at the weirdness of the situation. If nothing else, the momentary urge to want to throttle Kris combined with agreeing that the situation was absurd made me want to laugh.

The rest of the meal was just as weird. There was small talk, but nothing of substance. Daddy and Frank did most of the talking while mom and I glared at each other. We'd barely seen or spoke to each other for 18 months, yet she looked like she would prefer to be anywhere other than sitting across from her daughter.

I took a deep breath. Time to get a few things out in the air otherwise the tension was going to crack the restaurant in half.

"Mom, why didn't you tell me you were engaged? I literally found out when Ben shook your hand. And why did you wait a year to reach out to me after Ben and I got engaged? I'm just...." and I threw my hands up in exasperation.

She gave me one of her looks that I recognized all too well, which was she didn't appreciate having her decisions questioned. She looked at me for a moment and then down in her lap.

"This is not the appropriate time or place to talk about that," she said, looking at the two men sitting at the table. Oh well, I had a solution if that was the problem.

"Frank...Ben, could you possibly give us a few minutes to ourselves," I said. Both of them looked at their women, looked at each other, came to the conclusion that there was a chance we might kill each other, but it was slim, and got up.

"Do you smoke?" Frank asked Daddy.

"Can't say I do," he replied.

"Me either, but now seems like a good time to stand outside anyway," Frank replied. I almost laughed. I've no idea what he saw in mom, but he seemed decent enough. They went outside and Frank began chatting away and Daddy laughed. It was nice that they could get along.

I looked at mom again and gave her my "well?" look. She sighed.

"You always make things so difficult. Your behaviour in school was bad enough, and then running off to some French school in Montreal instead of staying in Saskatchewan. I hoped it might make you more mature. But then you waltz back into town, not even wearing a bra for God's sake, and bringing along this....man, and I'm just at my wit's end," she said.

"I thought this was going to be just another incident among your endless waves of immaturity. Of course you were going to be foolish enough to get engaged at a ridiculous age. But I fully expected it to blow up before you did something stupid.

"But then Heather had to spot you when she was out east visiting family, and she saw you with him, behaving scandalously. Calling him....things. I'd hoped you'd fly out here alone so I could talk some sense into you, but I should have known better."

"You wanted to meet him," I managed to get out.

"Oh please, I said no such thing," she spat out. "The whole relationship is ridiculous."

When we were flying out, Daddy advised me that every time mom said something that made me want to strangle her, not to respond right away. Take five or ten seconds, focus on my breathing, and then respond. I did that. It worked only in that I didn't flip the table and walk out.

"Are you kidding me? I. Am. Engaged," I said, waving my hand with the engagement ring on it. "I didn't want to come back, but he wanted to meet you in the hopes that we could patch things up."

She rolled her eyes.

"I wanted you to come back alone so Frank and I could talk some sense into you. God help me if you go through with it and marry him or do something disastrously stupid like have children with him. I will tell you right now that you won't be coming back into my house dragging some brood of brats behind you after he dumps you and chases after the next barely legal thing he sees," she said.

And that's when it happened. The light went off in my head. Everything in the cafe seemed sharper and more focused. I'm sure she expected me to yell at her after saying something so cruel and stupid as that. Instead, I smiled. I felt like I could float off the chair.

"You know, last summer Ben's parents came out to Kingston to visit, and they were nothing but kind and welcoming to me. Just lovely people. His mom gave me this Claddagh ring, which makes what's happening to his mom even crueler," I said. Mom looked puzzled. "She has rapid-onset dementia. The first time I met her was one of the last times she was 'there.' Her doctors don't expect her to live more than another year or so. After we leave here, we're off to Vancouver to spend some time with her."

Mom at least had some decency to look a little mortified with that information. Too late. I stood up and leaned on the table towards her.

"When he was there Ben's dad asked me if I ever experienced a 'moment of clarity.' A moment so profound that you know exactly what you have to do. He had one of those when he met his wife for the first time. I just had one, right here, right now. He was correct; it was like a light going off and I can see with perfect vision."

I knew Kris was watching. Hell, there were a dozen people in the cafe and most had given up any pretence of not watching us. Still, this was for her only, so I leaned in and spoke softly, but forcefully.

"I'm walking out that door and we are done. We are never speaking again. You're not invited to the wedding. When we have children, and we are going to have a bunch, and they ask about my parents, their grandparents, I'm going to tell them they're dead. And that will be 100% true. I am never exposing my husband and our children to whatever toxic crap that is in your heart instead of love."

I straightened up, tossed some money from my wallet on the table to cover our bill, turned around and walked towards the door. Kris ran over towards me and had a wide-eyed look on her face. She wanted to say something, but I guess the look on my face stopped her. Instead, I put my hand on her arm and whispered in her ear.

"If you need any help getting out of here, you text and let me know, ok?"

She nodded. Then I hugged her and walked out the door. Mom never said a thing.

Frank and Daddy turned to look at me. Frank looked surprised, but Daddy saw the look on my face. He knew we were done here.

"Tell me what you see in her, Frank?" I asked.

He paused for a moment, caught off guard by the question.

"We met in church. She can be a hard woman to get to know. Respectfully I think your dad did quite the number on her. But we grew to like each other's company. It's just nice to have someone around, you know. It's not like Tindr does you much good in a place like this," he said, trying to make a joke.

It was too bad. He genuinely seemed like a nice guy. I leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.

"It was nice meeting you, Frank. Take care of yourself."

"You're not staying? I thought you might come over for supper. I was just telling Ben I do a hell of a barbecue," he said.

"There's nothing more for me here," I said, and started walking towards where we parked the car. I heard Daddy say it was nice to meet him and moved to catch up with me as quickly as possible. He didn't say anything, waiting for me to speak first. I didn't say anything until we got to the rental car.

"I'm not mad with you, and I still love you madly. But I'm not going to be talking much for the next couple of hours and I need you to respect that," I said.

"Ok."

"I need to get out of here. Can we check into wherever you booked us early, and can you change flights so we can get the hell out of Saskatchewan as soon as possible?"

"Absolutely."

"Good," I said. I caught a glimpse of myself in the car side mirror, wearing the pretty sundress to impress my mom. I had the urge to burn it, but instead I reached into the backseat and grabbed the shorts and t-shirt I was wearing earlier. I didn't care if anyone was watching as I pulled the dress over my head and put back on the t-shirt and shorts. Daddy's eyes got wide, but he didn't say anything. One more thing to scandalize my mother. I tossed the dress on the nearby grass. I liked that dress, but I was never wearing it again.