Livestreaming My Sister

Why did the idea suddenly feel so terrifying?

And what if I couldn't perform?

Was that secretly my fear?

I would give back all the money I'd made to not have to do it.

It took me forever to get to sleep.

When I finally did, I had strange dreams about walking around on a public beach.

I was naked with an erection and felt mortified everyone could see.

Final Livestream

By the time Saturday arrived my head was in disarray from the moment I awoke.

I felt a stomach-gnawing tension that only got worse after the stale pop tart I foolishly chose for breakfast.

A couple of times I found myself leaning over the toilet bowl, dry-heaving my own stage fright followed by an ectoplasm of transparent drool.

While Charlotte seemed to be in her element.

Whether she was painting her toes crystal pink, singing to Miley Cyrus; or showing me the purchases she was going to make with her larger-windfall-than-mine, she didn't appear to have a care in the world.

"You will trim any unsightly body hair, won't you?" she asked at one point, as casually as if she wanted me to feed her dog.

"I don't keep hair down there," I said, quite honestly.

"You wax?" she asked, impressed.

"Ball strimmer."

"Oh my!" she said, trying not to smirk.

"How are you so fucking relaxed about this?" I asked.

"It's not me," she replied. "It's Ursula. That was the best advice you gave me. You need to find a character for Ursula's brother too... It should be a Slavic name, what about Jurgen?"

"Whatever," I said.

"You don't want to pull out, do you? It's just that I've already spent the money in my head."

"I don't want to pull out..."

I really didn't.

I had longed for an opportunity like this.

Just under any other circumstances than this.

"I guess I'm just feeling... a lot," I said, vaguely.

"It's nerves," she explained. "You're gonna be great. I'll take care of you. Whatever you imagine it will be, it will be so much easier."

"I'm worried I won't feel sexy."

"I know," she said. "You're scared you won't get hard. Maybe you won't need to. We don't know what this misfit is into. He might just want you to fuck me with the dildo."

Suddenly it sounded fun again.

"As long as he doesn't want you to fuck me with the dildo," I said.

"Don't worry, I can get you hard," she said confidently. "If I have to."

Hearing the words got me hard.

"You could always take a Cialis?" she suggested.

"Not sure where I'm getting one on a Saturday afternoon."

"Dad's probably got some."

"I'll go and ask him, shall I?" I said. "Dad, I'm fucking Charlie on camera tonight for some rich, faceless stranger. Got a prescription drug I can borrow to get my dick to stay up?"

"Seriously Jay, you need to relax. What's that expression? Let your mind go and your body will follow. You're going to be with me. Since when has that been uncomfortable? We can end the livestream at any time. You're just feeling stage fright like I did; it's natural. But I promise, I got you. I'll do everything I can to make it fun for you..."

And here it dawned on me.

My sister had become the pimp.

She was trafficking me now.

This was my karma, and I deserved it.

As the hour drew near, I started to wonder if my performance anxiety had less to do with HomerZuckerman45 and more to do with my ability to perform for Charlie.

I didn't want to ruin her show, but I also didn't want her to judge me for being an ineffectual lover.

You don't want to be a lousy guest; but you don't want to be a lousy lay even more.

Never work with children or animals, they say in showbusiness.

Perhaps they say never work with brothers in the porn industry.

Mom and Dad almost didn't go out that night.

Dad had one of his migraines, and for at least 30 minutes they were going to cancel.

Then he started to feel better and they decided to attend the gala again.

None of this helped my already shattered nerves.

It was like putting a sick person on a roller coaster.

I felt relief when I thought we'd have to cancel and twice as traumatized when it was back on.

Somehow my sister remained calm throughout.

It was the most natural thing in the world for her to be about to fuck her brother live on camera.

At 7PM we drank our shots (of pernod this time), earlier than usual.

My sister put the egg in to get herself warmed up.

She kept it on setting 2, the way you might keep a radio on in the background.

It was unfortunate there wasn't a male egg I could pop in somewhere to get myself warmed up.

(I have since learned there is, please don't send links).

A few times I went into the bathroom and tried fluffing my limp, rubbery dick as an experiment to see how quickly or easily I might get an erection whilst feeling acute anxiety.

The answer was not very.

Sex and anxiety don't mix well for a guy.

How can you perform a sexual act while your amygdala is firing?

It would be like having to skydive from a plane and jerk off while you spin through the air.

Most of my life's erections had been instantaneous; happening in spite of me, or upon command the moment I had the thought.

But today it felt forced and weird.

Like I was trying to sneeze when I didn't need to.

My body was reluctant to comply.

My dick didn't trust me.

The shot of pernod hadn't helped either.

It left me nauseous and alert, rather than relaxed and buzzy.

When Charlie and I walked upstairs at around 7:50PM, it was like we were climbing the gallows together.

"Jesus, you're pale," she said, looking at my clammy face with concern. "He's going to think he bought a sex show with the Addams Family."

She started giving me a shoulder rub.

I think it was intended to chill me the fuck out, but she didn't expressly say so.

"Do you need another shot?" she asked.

"I don't think so," I said, still shivering from the effects of the last one.

"Ok, let's do this..."

It was like she was about to launch Apollo 13 into space.

"Trust me, Jason. I will take care of you every step."

The two of us sat awkwardly side by side on my bed.

Or at least, I was awkward; my sister looked comfortable.

I wore a pair of jogging pants and a T-shirt.

She wore a sexy, yellow mini-dress.

Neither of us wore underwear.

Her toys were displayed on the floor as usual, ready to be invited to the game.

I prayed to the gods of internet sex shows that HomerZuckerman45 would be more interested in them than he was in me.

Charlie looked compassionately at me as her finger hovered over the mouse.

"Ready?" she said.

No, I thought, while nodding yes.

She clicked the button and launched the atomic weapon.

The green light indicated that our mic and camera were live.

I was too sick to feel nauseous, if that makes sense.

Our guest wasn't in the room yet.

A notification appeared that he was waiting to be let in.

"Good luck, Jay," said Charlie. "You got this!"

"You too," I said, in a voice smaller than my own shriveled up dick.

"Hello!" came the voice of HomerZuckerman45. "So wonderful to see the two of you!"

He was using the posh British accent filter again.

It had the effect of making him sound quite dignified.

"So nice to finally see your beautiful face, Ursula!"

His own camera remained off, despite once again having the option to appear if he'd wanted.

We had decided we wouldn't challenge him on this front, as long as he was tipping generously.

"Hi baby," said my sister, in a charming and familiar voice.

She sounded like a seasoned whore welcoming back a decades-long client. "How are you Mr. Homer Zuckerman?"

She pronounced his username like Marilyn Monroe singing Mr. President.

And was she already cupping her boobs?

Jesus, she was a pro these days.

It clearly worked because he instantly tipped her 50,000 tokens.

While I sat there frozen in the headlights.

I could barely look to my right where she was sitting.

"I can tell you really are brother and sister," he said. "You look quite alike. Mmm."

The noise sounded like a robot-Austin Powers.

"We have the same hands," said my sister, looping her arm through my elbow, and making me show my palms to him, along with hers.

Not that I was resisting. But I was still too incapacitated to move.

I was transfixed by the green light on the camera, like it was some sort of Kryptonite.

On the monitor I looked more like a sick child in a Dickensian play than someone in a couple's video sex room.

My sister looked incredible; hotter than fire.

I cut a pale, pathetic figure on the bed.

It looked like I was there as a hostage.

I suppose I was.

"This is my brother, Jurgen," said Ursula proudly, and clasped her arms around my bony frame. "We are very close."

Did I detect the faintest suggestion of an Eastern European accent?

She was really developing this character.

She seemed very happy to be there.

But it was less clear that her brother was happy.

"Nice to meet you, Jurgen," said HomerZuckerman45. "And nice to see your face again!"

I think I might have waved my fingers.

"What's your first request?" asked Ursula.

"I think your brother might enjoy it if you undressed for him," he said.

How thoughtful.

This had the added bonus of affording me a bit of time.

Charlie stood up, ensuring she was still in frame.

She began to peel off her little yellow dress.

She did it facing away from the camera, first unzipping the back and then releasing her shoulders to let the garment fall to her waist.

Her breasts were already revealed to me but for some reason I wasn't looking.

She caught my eye and almost reprimanded me to pay attention.

I remembered a note she'd given me earlier - that I didn't have to enjoy it, just play along and I'd get through.

Why couldn't I get my shit together?

It was an experience I would likely never be offered again.

I made sure I was at least focusing on her as she took off what was left of her dress.

She shimmied her ass a few times and the garment slid to the floor.

Somewhere on the planet HomerZuckerman45 feasted his eyes upon her beautiful ass and slender thighs.

"My angel," he said, sleazily.

She spun around, treating him to the full frontal.

Her body was stunning. It had the effect of waking me up a little.

Like someone might slap you around the face to break you from an indulgent stupor.

Leaving on only her trademark socks, she sat down on the bed so that our sides were touching.

She dipped her head into the pillow of my shoulder.

I couldn't fathom how close her naked breast was to my arm.

The nipple was resting against my tricep.

It was a memory I would cherish one day.

But in that moment I couldn't override the terrifying artificiality and excruciating self-awareness.

It was like I was having a nightmare in which I was acting in a porn movie, but I was a terrible actor and a terrible lay.

I was mortified to be letting Charlotte down worse than I'd feared.

So I encouraged myself to take a few breaths.

Oxygen is helpful.

"What next?" my sister asked. She sounded more excited at the prospect than him.

"Are you a big brother or a little brother, Jurgen?" HomerZuckerman45 asked.

I tried to speak but nothing would happen.

"We are twins, silly!" said my sister. "Jurgen was born 45 seconds before me. So I guess he's my older brother."

This was news to me.

"I didn't mean big like that," he said.

"Ooh you are naughty Mr. Homer," said Charlotte, playing along with this bullshit way better than I ever could.

"He wants to know what you've got packing down there," she said to me.

I knew full well what he wanted.

I just didn't know how to proceed like a human, let alone participate as a man.

So I did and said nothing.

"I think our guest would like you to get undressed, big brother," said Ursula, spelling it out less ambiguously.

She emphasized the word 'big' in a salacious, and once again, slightly Eastern European way.

But there was nothing big happening anywhere near my genital region.

It was a post-apocalyptic wasteland down there; a nuclear winter.

"Why don't you take it out and show us, Jurgen?" she suggested.

She said it playfully, but I saw a flash of concern in her eyes.

She maneuvered me to stand in front of the bed.

My limbs would barely respond.

My dick had disappeared inside my body, like a thief hiding from the police.

She had to stand me up and balance me as if I was made of cardboard.

She also had to reposition me several times so that the camera could see.

Finally she took hold of the waistband of my joggers and teased them down my legs.

My shriveled dick appeared like a tiny plum.

My sister's expression was mostly sweet concern.

But Ursula was careful not to drop cover.

It was increasingly obvious that we should have rehearsed.

If only to get me familiar with being naked around a camera (and a relative).

But HomerZuckerman45 didn't seem fazed.

Even my micropenis appeared to be within the cheerful remit of his expectations.

"Looks like your brother's a bit nervous," he said, seeming to enjoy my predicament just fine. "He isn't used to being his sister's plaything, is he?"

"He is not," said Ursula. "We have to teach him. He's very shy."

It was an excellent move on her part, to incorporate my performance anxiety into the storyline.

She was protecting me like she'd promised.

It had the useful effect of acknowledging the elephant in the room.

Or the elephant missing from the room, in the case of my penis.

I noticed that my sister's nipples were erect.

At least something was erect around here.

"Oh dear, he can't do much with that, can he? What can you do to help, Ursula?" asked the weirdo.

"I can think of a few things," she said, licking her lips. "But you're the one who gives the orders around here."

"Put it in your mouth," he said sharply.

"Yes sir," she replied.

She lifted my miniature dick between her thumb and forefinger like she had removed a tiny gallstone with some forceps.

Her touch was cold and immaterial, the feel of a doctor's hands.

Although I'm not sure in which department of medicine the doctor blows you.

Despite her best efforts, my dick didn't get any bigger.

If anything it tried to get smaller to escape her.

I felt no pleasurable sensation at all. It was like watching her squeeze a rubber ball.

She popped the whole acorn into her mouth.

There was nothing for her to suck on yet, so she ran her tongue around like she was exploring the surface of a hard candy.

"What a good girl," HomerZuckerman45 said, "now get him hard, sweetheart. Don't let us down!"

I had no idea if it translated to the screen but at this point I was trembling.

Charlie must have been able to feel it.

For an agonizing length of time I thought we were doomed.

Until...

Finally, a miracle...

The sensation of something vaguely pleasant started to cut through my fugue state.

A distant speck of light in the fog.

I tried to hone in on this flicker.

I shut my eyes tightly.

When I opened them again, to my endless relief, my cock was beginning to grow.

It still wasn't hard. But there was something for her to suck on.

And god bless her, that's exactly what she did.

Gently and lovingly. Like the perfect sister.

Her hand clutching my ass for traction.

I watched blankly at first, trying to register the surreal spectacle of my own sister blowing me.

But as I grew harder, I was able to relax and enjoy the event with awe.

Charlotte seemed even more relieved than me.

But Ursula was the most excited.

She had coaxed the snake awake and was damned if she was going to let it go back to sleep.

She pulled out all the filthy stops, sucking my dick like a porn star.

She slapped it up and down on her outstretched tongue; and licked it from head to sac.

HomerZuckerman45 couldn't get enough.

"Dear God... Bravo!" he said. "This is magnificent!"

He wasn't being hyperbolic either.

It was the best blowjob I'd ever received by a mile.

There was nothing embarrassing about the size of the object in her mouth anymore either.

It was obscenely big, diving in and out the eager tunnel of her lips.

"You are a big brother," said HomerZ, "and your sister knows how to take care of you!"

Now that I had a dick, everything changed.

My fear dissipated.

I had a chance to live out my fantasy with my sister.

"Can you fit it all in your mouth?" asked HomerZuckerman45.

Charlie took a breather to respond. "I don't know," she said.

"Try," he said; and sent tokens to persuade her.

She opened her mouth wider and tried to ingest as much of my length as possible.

But there was only so much room before it hit the back of her throat.

She choked a little; gripped my ass harder, and pulled me in towards her face.

Somehow the last inch of my length disappeared between her lips; like a trap door had opened in the back of her throat.

For one peaceful instant, she didn't even look like her face was stuffed.

My cock had just vanished into her mouth.

Like David Copperfield with the Statue of Liberty.

Then she needed to breathe.

She choked and released me again.

I was harder than ever, dripping in a syrup of mucosal puke.

"Such a good sister," said HomerZuckerman45. "Jurgen, now why don't you fuck your sister's face?"

I began my own moderate interpretation of this instruction.

But it was too moderate for Charlie.

She grabbed my hips and encouraged me to do it more vigorously.

Every time I tried to go easy, she increased the force and momentum on her own.

She was determined to give her audience a spectacle.

She was like the James Cameron of facefucking.

"Harder!" said HomerZuckerman45.

We tried to oblige.

"Faster!" he insisted.

We tried to provide him with this too.

It was difficult to know how much fun Charlie was having because she'd barely taken a breath for the last few minutes.

I did note at one point she reached down to play with her pussy.

This was significant because it wasn't visible to the camera.

Which meant she was playing with herself in her spare time.

(While she fellated her brother for a living).

But now I had a brand new concern.

There's always something isn't there?

How long was I going to be able to hold on?

I had see-sawed from one extreme to the other in a few short minutes.

From the terror of not being able to get it up, to the fear of erupting too soon.

I hadn't spoken during the livestream - which wasn't an intention I'd set, although I was happy with a non-speaking role.

But I felt I had to say something now.

I needed to warn her, and HomerZuckerman45 too - since he hadn't ordered ejaculation from the menu - that I was about to cum.

And cum like I had never cum before.

I pulled out of her mouth to try and stop the ascent.

"I have to be careful," I said.

She looked up at me.

"Don't stop," said HomerZuckerman45. "This is amazing!"

My sister returned to sucking me.

I pulled away again.

This time I gave her a more urgent look.

"I'm close," I said.

"Don't stop!" HomerZuckerman45 demanded.

He even sounded a little pissed.

But British, so still charming.

She swallowed me again.

I pulled out again.

It was too late.

I started cumming in her face.

Not a small amount, which would have been polite.

But a vast surge that instantly doused the canals of her nose and torpedoed off into her sinus.