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"I don't want to stop this part either," I said, "I really like you Charlie..."
Headlights from the driveway suddenly illuminated the stairwell.
"Shit," she said.
Mom and Dad were home.
She scrambled to collect her things and ran to her room.
"Hi," we heard Mom calling upstairs.
"Hi," Charlotte called back, "how was the auction?"
"It was a hoot!" she said. "I got the winning bid for a blind date next week with a mysterious stranger!'"
"Ooh! Who's the stranger?"
"I don't know," she said. "That's why it's a stranger! But it could be anyone. It's a man, is all I know. I'm hoping it's George Clooney!"
"She's so full of it," said Dad, laughing. "If it was someone people knew, they would have got more bids by saying the guy's name. It's going to be a nobody!"
"Dad's got a point," said Charlotte, laughing.
"Your father didn't even take part in the auction this year!" said Mom.
"It's not my fault if you haven't learned how to escape these things successfully," said Dad.
"You're just jealous I'm going on a blind date with George Clooney," said Mom.
"I bet it's Ian, the creepy Vice President of the board," said my Dad. "I could see him being up for this. It's probably the only way he can get a date."
***
On the evening of Mom's blind date; Dad, Charlie and I decided to see a movie together.
We made Mom promise to call us from the bathroom of the restaurant and tell us who the mystery stranger was.
We were in the car on the way to the theater when she rang Dad's phone.
He tried to make the call go through the car speaker but it wouldn't connect.
So I held his iPhone and put Mom on speaker.
"Well?" we asked. "Who is it?"
"It's Ian, the vice president!" she said.
We laughed so hard.
"What did I tell you?" said Dad.
"You basically bid for a date with one of Dad's employees, Mom!" I said.
"And this is not a cheap restaurant," she said, "he ordered the lobster... I better go. He'll wonder where I am. Don't get jealous, Simon!"
"I might!" said Dad. "Don't let him try anything!"
"Poor Mom," said Charlie.
As the call ended I noticed something odd on my Dad's phone.
It was the icon for the NestWork app.
Why would Dad have NestWork? I wondered.
I tapped on the icon and the app opened:
"Welcome back HomerZuckerman45," it said.
"Your recent payment of 5 million tokens to Ursula_269 is complete."
- COMMENTS
WhoDaCumguin3 months agoThis is easily the best story I've read on this site. I don't think my amateur praise or criticism is worth all that much, but I have to try anyway.
The use of paragraph breaks after every sentence took some getting used to, but after that, it was brilliant. It controlled the flow of the story so well, and it forced each sentence to be concise, witty, and stand on its own. I've never felt such an effective build up of a scene before those livestreams, and the formatting and precise language is the reason why. Just expertly done!
I also have to mention how both the brother and sister felt like real characters, rather than just fantasies or objects. It's natural in erotica for the main subject of the fantasy (in this case, Charlie) to be robbed of any real personality in favor of fulfilling whatever actions the author finds sexy at that instant, but that wasn't the case here. She felt like a character, with her own thoughts and feelings, and it made the story so much more real. Even more importantly, however, you did the same with our main character. An underrated problem in these stories is the depersonalization of the narrator, too, as he becomes merely a vessel for the audience to project themselves onto. But me personally, I would never like to be in one of these situations, and the arousal comes from the idea of two separate, independent people being involved, and I just wanted to say you captured that perfectly.
There's more I could say about how not a single sentence was wasted and the fantastic use set up and pay off, but I'll cut it short. Truly great, big fan, I'm going to bed now.
Anonymous4 months agoI rarely comment... but just gotta on this one... best ever (and I have scrounged the top rated ones pretty tightly). Great job!!! And thanks!
lclucky6 months agoI have to admit that I guessed it was someone they knew, but it still was great. Thanks for the entertainment.
amiinwien12 months agoI saw the ending coming (see what I did there?) but that didn't make it any less hot. Great character development and writing in general. Incest + anal taboos are basically my favorites.
I'm heading home from the office in a few minutes. When I arrive there my wife will be Cersie Lanister and I'll be Jamie (with two hands) returning from the field of battle. We'll be enacting the scenes we all wanted to see in Game of Thrones... :-)
Axel7about 1 year ago5/5 great story loved it, the pinch of romance/feelings to a hot story made it even better, nice twist at end, i predicted it and i think you dropped a few hints as well, would have loved to see a little more dialogue from both of them before the end but it ended well, would love a part 2 but if it will involve the parents in mix then probably not
