All Comments on 'Lizzy and Me'

Well. That was entirely stupid. 1*

Great story...though...less commas.

You are making the same mistake/issue I have. Instead of writing realistic dialogue, the dialogue is replacing the plot. Show don't tell is how some people put it.

Also, the category should be romance. You could have replaced 'Asian' with 'Reptoid from the netherworld' and it would not have changed the plot one bit.