Lockdown Love

James laughed and told me he would love to shove a long earbud into my brain!

"How was John?" I asked as casually as I could.

"Hmm..." James smiled, "It was productive, very productive. I scored the lowest on my depression, anxiety and stress scale ever which was great, and John immediately noticed an improvement in my mood. I think the main thing John reminded me was we all have our own broken bits and we can work to mend ourselves, but we can't mend another person."

"Interesting..." I thought for a while, "I'd like to think I could at least be present for them and hope they were present for me as I tried to mend myself too."

"Oh Charli," James leant over and kissed me, "I'm thrilled we are on the same wavelength. You know I'm noticing more and more about you each day. Like this morning, I ran behind you and could not stop staring at your cute bum. I had to stop at one stage when there was, let's say some blood flowed and it might have been embarrassing if I hadn't thought to think about growing potatoes."

"You're different to Justin, but I have to keep reminding myself that he died when he was 30 and I suspect you are a little older." I mused.

"How old do you think I am?" James queried.

"At the first meeting I thought anywhere from 35 to 55. Tonight, I'm guessing you're not yet 40." I smiled.

"You are very clever, Charli, but yes, I turn 40 in June. I'm a few years older than you, but I hope it isn't an issue." James was beginning to look uncomfortable.

"If it doesn't worry you, it doesn't worry me!" I laughed as I leant in and kissed James. "The only thing I will say that is concerning, is we would be taking more time with this if the college was not in lockdown. Tonight, for instance there would have been a visiting lecture in the common room, and we would not be sitting here talking."

"Tell me if I am rushing you, dear, dear Charli." James's sincerity melted me.

I gazed into James eyes and could not help but smile. "Your eyes are so beautiful." I reached up and planted kisses on them. "In fact, all of you is so beautiful, but I'm not going to kiss you all over tonight!"

James made us a pot of tea and we sat there telling each other about our day.

"I had the funniest video hookup with the finance team today," James started, "Julian spent most of the meeting fighting with his cat wo wanted to sit on his keyboard. It was so funny. Then Russell's dogs started barking and at one stage Marilyn's naked toddler came running into the office to hide from his father who was meant to be wrangling him whilst Mum was on the call. I didn't know for instance that Marilyn had a son or that any of my colleagues had pets!"

"Your predecessor, Melody had a beagle who the residents adored. Many pleaded with her to let Maxwell stay, but she would not hear of it!" I explained.

"I'd love some pets. Charlotte adored animals. There was a ginger cat at her home that put up with so much and would run if squeezed too much, but always return for more snuggles." I loved looking at James as he reminisced about Charlotte.

"As much as I miss Maddi and Trent and their kids, they also have a beautiful rescue dog who will not leave me alone until I have patted his belly several thousand times and two cats who sometimes deign me with their presence. I can see how pets make a huge difference in people's lives."

"You and Justin never had a pet?" James asked taking a sip of his tea.

"We'd actually been looking for a dog for several months before, well before he died." What surprised me as I sad this was I was snuggled up to a man who I had been kissing and recognised I was developing deep feelings for and I was still able to talk about my past love without crying or feeling like I was cheating.

"You don't mind talking about Justin and Nicholas with me, Charli?" James asked in a soft tone. "I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I'd also like you to tell me if I harp on about Charlotte too much."

I told James about my reflections of being able to talk with him freely about my past loves and how they would always be part of who I was, but how suddenly by spending time with him I had been able to see them for what they were as simply past loves. I did not want to downplay their importance in my life, but at the end of the conversation I could see that James and I were indeed in sync with many of our feelings.

"Charli," James said planting a kiss on my forehead, "I have a heightened awareness of the speed at which things are happening and it is due to the lockdown. If I had seen you at the concert for instance ad we had gone to dinner, I doubt either of us would have talked about our marriages or children. We've just been thrown into a position where we have time to talk to each other and I wanted to let you know I am not complaining, but if it is all moving too fast for you, then please let me know."

"I'm surprised and amazed," I said as I moved from sitting beside James to straddling him on the couch and wrapping my arms around his neck, "that I feel myself drawn to you so much and my heart feels like it has more than enough space left for you."

We kissed again but this time our mouths opened and soon our tongues were dancing in and out of each other's mouths. I could feel my nipples poking through my bra and shirt and wondered if James could feel them pushed against his chest. I could feel his arousal pressing through his trousers against my panties. James's hands caressed my back and bottom.

I'm sure we would have kissed for hours had my phone not rung. It was a resident chasing a band-aid after they had cut their finger putting some miniature figurines together. I told them to meet me in my office in 10 minutes.

"I think that's my signal to leave," James said resting his hands on my thighs, "I, um, well, I think you can feel where this was heading for me and I won't tell you that doesn't excite me and scare me at the same time."

We kissed again at my office door before I had to push James away as I feared dragging him right back in. We both had big grins on our faces, and he turned to wave at me as he walked down the corridor from my office.

I did not see James very much on the Tuesday. His day was filled with online meetings and mine with preparations for the big test the following day. I had arranged a few residents to help with the marshalling and after our run and breakfast together, James said he planned on helping too.

The testing went smoothly. I had the correct PPE and had read the guidelines and knew what needed changing when. I had forgotten about wearing a face mask and how difficult it was to breathe in them when they had a proper seal. I had packed the last of the tests ready for the courier and I thanked all those who had helped me. There were a few boxes to carry back to my office and James told the others that they should go as lunch was finishing in a few minutes and they needed to eat.

"I hope you don't mind Charli," James said as I opened my office door and he put the boxes in the corner, "But I took the liberty of asking the kitchen staff to put away a couple of salads for us. I, um, well I thought we could go and eat them in my cottage if you like."

"You are a lifesaver, James!" I said as I gave him a kiss on the cheek, "But first I need a shower and to get out of these scrubs!"

"You do rock a set of scrubs, Charli!" James said as he kissed my forehead. "How about I bring the salads to yours then? I, um, don't have any meetings this afternoon..."

"Oh really?" I smiled as I kissed him on the lips, "Do you think we might need to raid the fishbowl before we head to lunch then?"

"I, um, I, well, I know I'd like to, but we don't have to go that far if you aren't ready." James's seriousness drew me to him even more.

"James, my love," I said gazing into his eyes, "Let's see what happens, but at least know we are prepared."

We walked together to my flat in silence. I had offered to give James my key once I was inside so I could shower, and he could collect our lunches. As I stood in the shower and washed my hair, I wondered what sex would be like with someone other than Justin. Justin and I used about three positions, with both of us preferring me to be on top. Justin told me I gave great blowjobs and I knew I was not his first lover, so I knew he did have something to compare me to. Occasionally he would worship my pussy with his tongue, but he was not a confident with his cunnilingus skills and when it was taking so long for me to conceive, we usually just resorted to plain vanilla sex.

I towelled myself off and wrapped my hair in a turban to help it dry. Despite what I suspected lay ahead for us in the afternoon, I still dressed in a bra and panties and a summer dress. James was browsing my bookshelf as I came out from my bedroom.

We sat at the table and ate our salads in silence. At one stage James reached for my free hand and started stroking it with his fingers. His phone rang and a smile crept across his face when he looked at the caller ID before answering it.

"Hi, did it arrive? Oh excellent! No, thank-you. True, true. No doubt I'll be hearing from her anyway. But I've diverted her number straight to voicemail anyway. Yes sure, we'll be in touch."

"That," James said with a grin that lit up his face, "Was my lawyer. Alison has been served with the divorce papers and to dig the knife in, I couriered the ring up for them to include with the package. Charli, I did not want you to think I was lying about the state of my marriage, it is well and truly over."

I had never doubted James when he told me his story, but I could see how others might have been sceptical. I cleared our dishes away and James came and stood behind me with his head resting against mine and his hands on my hips. I turned around to face him and our mouths opened as we pressed them together. He lifted me onto my bench, and I wrapped my legs around his waist still kissing with a furious passion. I reached over and undid his tie, using it to pull him closer towards me. I started undoing the buttons on his shirt and he reached down and lifted me into his arms.

"Take me to bed, James." I pleaded as he walked towards the door. I had placed the photo of Justin face down after my shower.

James laid me on the bed and started undoing the buttons on my dress. As soon as my breasts came into view, he stroked them, rubbing his fingers over my areola and nipples through my lace bra.

"They're beautiful, Charli." James whispered.

Soon my dress had been removed and James fumbled with my bra clasp. It caused us both to giggle. Goosebumps appeared all over as James started stroking my breasts. I reached for his belt and started undoing it. I was amazed at how much my fingers were trembling. I pushed his trousers and jocks down his legs and bit my lip as his cock came into view.

"I hope you're not disappointed," James whispered as my hand engulfed it.

"It's perfect, James, but you will have to go slow because of its girth!" I giggled.

James stood and stepped out of his pants and underwear. He was standing before me, naked. I was pleased with the curls of hair he had on his chest, again a salt and pepper colour that matched his head. I ran my fingers through them as he leant in and kissed me. He trailed kisses down my chest, focussing on my breasts trailing further down to my stomach. He then used his teeth to peel my underwear down my legs. He tossed them aside and then started kissing from my ankles up the inside of my right leg and then down my left leg. I could not believe how turned on I was.

Parting my labia with his beautiful fingers, James's tongue gently trailed the insides of my womanhood. I let out a gasp when he brushed against my clitoris and moaned when he dove deep inside me with it. He replaced his tongue with a finger, soon followed by a second finger and lapped at my clitoris. Grasping hold of the sheets I felt an intense orgasm rip through me. I could feel the heat rush from my vagina to my toes one way and my head the other. James came up and kissed me and I enjoyed tasting myself on his lips.

Focussing on my breasts again I could feel myself wanting more. I reached for a condom from next to the bed. Ripping it open I pinched the end and rolled it down James's shaft.

"James," I whispered, "I want to envelop you."

We both moaned as his cock edged inside me. He did indeed take it slow and my body gladly accommodated the intrusion. We could not take our eyes off each other as we found a rhythm that made us both moan. I could feel the passion building and James's pelvis pressed ever so nicely against my clitoris.

"Oh Charli, I can't..." James grunted and filled the condom with his seed as again my vaginal muscles contracted around his pulsing cock. I pulled James to me and he lay on top of me as we both regained our breath. Eventually he rolled off and discarded the condom.

"I'm surprised it didn't break, Charli," James giggled, "Despite your wetness, the heat we created could have meted it. I hope you felt that too."

I smiled and leant in and gave a tender, sensuous kiss.

"You may have played down your skills James McAdams, but I will not complain- that was magical." Again, I kissed my lover.

James held me tight and we drifted off to sleep. We did not nap for long. It was warm and soon we needed a drink.

"G&T?" I asked and James laughed.

When I came back James was holding my wedding photo with Justin.

"I can't replace, Justin, Charli," He told me tenderly, "And I don't want you to think you need to hide him from me. My feelings for you are totally different to any I ever had for Alison and I think that perhaps I did even love her at the start."

"It's been less than a week," I kissed James as I passed him the drink, "But my feelings for you are already so strong. I don't want to think too far ahead, and the doctors told me there was no reason that it took Justin and I so long to fall pregnant, but should we decide to have a child together, that child won't replace Charlotte or Nicholas."

James placed both of our drinks on the side table and took my face in his hands leaning in for another kiss. He then reached over and took an ice-cube out of his glass running it down my chest and around my areolas and nipples. It felt so sensuous. I could see James's cock stirring and pushed him back on the bed shuffling back so I could worship it with my mouth. James did not complain and after I had swallowed, he brought me up for another kiss.

"Charli, you are something else," his gaze staring deep into my soul.

After dinner we felt it appropriate to call Julian and inform him about our relationship. He was thrilled and called Marion, his wife to the phone too.

"Oh James!" She exclaimed, "I told you at that first dinner to go for her, didn't I?"

"You did, Marion," James laughed, "But I was already smitten by her before then."

We knew the pandemic and the lockdown and moved things along much faster than might otherwise had happened, but it still felt so right. We walked through the college holding hands and several students commented. Even Jackson joked to us that he thought the condom bowl was looking emptier than usual. After a month we let the residents know that if they needed the nurse overnight, they had to ring first. I think most of them realised I had all but moved into the Dean's cottage anyway!

With the fear that the pandemic has created and the scenes throughout the world of the dead and dying, we both knew firsthand that indeed you need to seize the day and recognise that the one you are with is the one you indeed need to love whilst still remembering departed loves.